A distant retch resounded.
I neglected it. The raspy breaths of a dying elder bound me in chains of remorse. I never intended to do it. It was a mistake. I tried to shove aside my uneasiness, but the noise never stopped pounding my foul conscience. Realizing it wasn't a result of my nightmares, I opened an eye. A different type of imagery surrounded me unlike usual.
Right, the 4th District.
Many possibilities arose in my head, and I couldn't put either of them at rest. With newfound vigor, I got up and shot straight toward the door.
I had to figure out exactly what was going on.
Clenching my teeth, I pushed through the heavy spell cast upon my feeble body. Every time I blinked, my eyes burned. The way I felt told me I needed to sleep a lot more. That was the only way I could get out of the stupor I was in. But I was convinced that now wasn't the moment.
I walked through the corridor, my hand placed against the wall for balance, trying to find the source of the disturbance.
"Mara!" I rose my voice slightly. "Are you in there?"
Before she could provide an answer, I pushed the door entirely open with a light touch of my elbow. My nose wrinkled as an unsettling odor invaded my nostrils. I shook my head and moved deeper into the apartment, my eyes darting and daring to pop out. Then I found her on all fours, hurling the meal we had eaten this morning.
Not good.
Unsure what to say, I moved in closer and stroked Mara's back. My attention gradually shifted ahead, and through the breach leading to the bathroom, I noticed bony fingers hanging over the bathtub. Dried blood coated the antique knife that had fallen on the soiled slant. It didn't take long to realize what had transpired.
"Was she an acquaintance?" I asked, carefully closing the door to prevent her from seeing more.
If Mara taught me something, then it would be that talking about something and distracting others might help them feel better. It certainly worked for me. The least I could do was try to do the same for her.
"Yeah..." she gulped, wiping her mouth with her sleeve after, "...she's the one who gave me the charm."
So that putrid skeleton's a she, huh? You could tell a lot about a person by simply looking at the method they chose to... end it, in nicer words. From the looks of it, she didn't want want to leave too much of a mess behind her. It was as though she was aware that someone might come across her and she didn't want to bother them too much. A kind person, I tried to justify her as.
Not that it amounted to much.
A darker thought lingered at the back of my filthy heart. Perhaps the way I would have done it would have been different. A lot messier. And it would've troubled many people for sure. She was a saint, unlike me.
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"I see," I whispered, clearing my mind of those unpleasant ideas as I returned my concentration to Mara. "Were you guys friends?"
"Best friends," Mara inhaled. "We played around when we were younger. Didn't really get the chance to talk a lot when I left..."
I looked around the room over her shoulder. Just behind Mara, there was a necklace that appeared to be made of gold on the table, waiting to be taken on a shelf. Other jewels should be present in other rooms as well. Excellent, my heart rejoiced, dismissing the awful uncovering that had just occurred. Once I came to that realization, it became much simpler for me to give Mara the undivided attention she desperately needed right now.
I'll let myself borrow a few items some other time.
I took her wrist and guided her towards the sofa in her own place. She wasn't in the right state of mind, so she followed without causing too much of a ruckus. I opened the windows as well, hoping to get rid of the revolting smell that was clinging to our nostrils.
"Drink," I suggested, handing her the bottle of water. That should take care of the taste of vomit in her throat. "You have to rehydrate yourself."
I wanted to offer her something to eat as well, but doubted she had much of an appetite to be concerned about.
Mara took a small sip, playing along. "Thanks..."
She put her feet on the sofa, clasped her knees to her chest, and curled into a small ball. I could see her bleary red eyes now, staring at nothing in particular. I was certain she wanted to cry but couldn't. Mara is a proud person. All I could do was wait in silence for her to open up.
"You saw it too," she muttered, her hollowness replaced by a deep frown. "The knife..."
"Don't think about it."
"Those monsters pushed her to do it," Mara stated coldly, ignoring me. "I'm certain of it."
Since we weren't fully aware of what happened, we shouldn't simply just to the worst-case scenario.
"This is not the time to—"
She offered me a cruel smile that made me hold my breath. "I'm sorry, Gray, but I don't think you can fool me," Mara grumbled, tightening her grasp on her knees. "Both of us know exactly what happened."
I reluctantly shook my head.
Mara's jaw tensed. "I don't want to end like that. I just can't."
Harming yourself won't help, I reasoned as she wanted to dig her nails into her elbows.
"You won't end up like that," my mouth acted before I could properly think about my words.
"I'm quitting, Gray," she declared, and for a split second, she seemed relieved. "I'm not going to work as a mercenary anymore. I might leave this city, too..."
"Me too," I hoped to soothe her, all shock that I should've felt at that confession gone unnoticed. "I'll quit being a porter, too."
But I had no intention of leaving Cernasea.
"For Artemis, right? To focus on your studies if you get in," Mara said snidely. "Are you going to be alright?"
She was probably referring to my financial situation.
"I think I can pull it off," I replied honestly. "I'll show all those rich and clever brats what I'm made of."
"So, even if you quit being a porter, you won't leave this crap life behind," she added as she straightened her posture and patted the sofa with her palm, inviting me to sit beside her.
I complied with her unspoken demand. "That would be the case..."
"Be my pillow for a bit," Mara uttered, and before I knew it, something soft pressed against my shoulder. "Hope you don't mind."
Our party's bound to disband. The resources within the 4th District simply became too scarce. We couldn't afford to move around to other cities or actively search for new ways to make some profit. Everything will come to an end.
That conclusion? It hurt. It hurt a lot.
"What are you—" Mara wanted to ask as I brushed my fingers over her tousled hair.
wanted
"Shut up..."
I sought the warmth that she had to offer—the warmth of another human—and Mara didn't complain, her figure getting heavier and heavier as she was falling asleep. Because of the blood loss, I was cold. I just tried to conserve my temperature. That seems plausible.
Even I saw it as a lie.