Dos
I was laughing.
It was better than crying, right?
So I clenched my teeth and let out a hoarse noise out of the depths of my throat.
My beautifully groomed avatar was no more; instead, I inhabited but a common monster. It was upsetting, annoying, defeating. So I laughed endlessly, creeping out Agnes. The naga-kin took a few steps back, her eyes squinted in dismay. There was some concern etched on her beautiful face, yet despite the woman’s empathy her weapons were ready to strike me down in the blink of an eye.
It would be a fitting end, a monster destroyed by a fairy.
Wait, weren’t Nagas man-eaters?
I chuckled, but seeing Agnes clench her swords tighter forced me to return to reality. It was a sunken cost fallacy - even if the result was less than stellar I didn’t want to lose Peter’s body. So instead of accepting my fate I waved her down and apologized. My words were even a bit heartfelt. “That was uncouth of me. Sorry.” I grumbled, then flashed a smile, seeing her stiffen in response. “I exerted myself and the transformation took me by surprise.”
“By surprise?” She repeated my words. “So this wasn’t a part of your grand plan?” She asked, slightly relaxing her stance.
“What use do I have for another monster? My dungeon is full of them.” I grumbled. “Gods, no, it wasn’t part of the plan… just a miscalculation. Who do you take me for? A masochist?”
“More like a bumbling schemer.” She answered with a grin.
I puffed up with indignation, before instantly deflating. She wasn’t wrong after all. My plans tended to turn explosive. Not to mention being described as silly lessened how dangerous I looked. “I’m not sure what happened, but my newest creation - an avatar, specially made to show my peaceful intentions - had been turned into… this.” I motioned at my new obsidian body while lying through my teeth.
“It’s quite… unique.” She whispered, continuing in a louder tone. “So I should call you Uno, rather than Dos?”
There was a throb of unwillingness at these words, the feeling that came directly from the flesh I inhabited. “No, please refer to me as Dos, still.” I answered and the unease receded. Curious. And worrying.
“As you wish.” Agnes nodded curtly, unwilling to pursue the topic any further.
“Now, let’s handle the rest of our problems.” I started to turn away, before remembering the undead still clasped by my mount’s hand. After a moment of hesitation, I tossed the skeleton remains in Agnes’ direction. “Could you please keep him safe? I guess he’s a hostage… but if you don’t like it, then it’s completely fine to make a staff out of him. Or bonemeal. The most work had already been done, seeing as the spine and head are the only parts that remained intact.” I chuckled, a scratchy sound escaping my lips.
“What do you mean by make a staff out of him?!” Agnes screeched. “You’re talking about the remains of Charles’ brother!” Warrior-girl quietened for a second, the outrage making her gasp for breath. Then she continued the auditory assault. “And I am no necromancer! Why would I need a tool made out of human bones!”
The animated skull helplessly bounced on the ground, as the lamia-kin refused to even try to catch it. After it landed she even kicked it away with disgusted eyes, her accusing glare following my retreating form. The dead mage wasn’t happy with this treatment either - I could feel Akkan’s resentment mounting but instead of picking him up, I decided to promptly ignore the whole situation and focus on more important things.
Like Charles’ mudslinging contest.
Well, said mud had been replaced with fire and ice, and the stakes were a bit higher than usual but the feeling behind the fight was similar, especially because one side was raging, and the other yapped constantly.
“Good! Good! Show me more, scion of humanity! More rage! More greed! More power!” The Lich egged the red-haired mage on, managing to royally piss him off even though the person in question didn’t understand a word it spoke. And yet ribbing transcended the language barrier.
“The heroes are made, not born! They are forged in the flames of adversity! Focus your mana, every ounce of it, or you won’t be able to touch even the rim of my clothes!”
An especially large fireball exploded right in the undead’s face, shutting it up, while the heat momentarily melted the ice shields it surrounded itself with. Charles tried to capitalize on that weakness gathering even more mana - only to cancel the attack and dive for cover as a series of icicles pierced the place he was standing in seconds ago.
It seemed like this back and forth had been going on for some time, as his robes were cut, charred, and muddied from the constant struggle. Despite the circumstances, it wasn’t fear or caution that I saw in his eyes - instead, a greenish-red flame took their place. Ugly emotions of rage, pride, and greed were battling inside his mind, yet the confidence they gave Charles’ was unmistakable.
This surety manifested as a similarly colored aura blanketing the ground around him. I stifled a laugh. Truly, magic was a chuuni dream.
While still lying down, Charles sent a frisbee-like construct flying, the attack aiming for the Lich’s bony legs. The magic object moved quickly, hovering just above the ground, the air around it screaming in a high-pitched screech I usually associated with electric saws. It was fast, dangerous, and powerful.
Yet this attack had been stopped too, the fire edge stuck in an icy wall. The Lich retaliated, forcing Charles to move away, once again barely avoiding the retribution. I suspected that the undead missed on purpose…
And that meant I had seen enough.
My favorite pet mage was losing, and worse - he was being toyed with by the enemy. This was not acceptable. I had to intervene.
Chivalry? Honor? Fair play?
What about them? Who cared? Was honorable death better than a shameful victory? Certainly not!
A real battle was nothing like a game! Human lives were at stake - and, more importantly - my investments too!
With a flourish, I ordered my mount to start running, all while sitting comfortably on the golem’s shoulder, like some kind of a mumakil’s rider. I should think about getting a palanquin, a few archers, and an attitude.
The earthen construct was both fast and heavy, taking only a few moments to start thudding its way forward. Each step carried us closer to the undead, and with a simple command the mass of rock was ordered to punch down.
Just before the hit connected I teleported into Charles’ shadow while at the same time erecting an earthen wall reinforced with mana, shielding us both from retaliation. I wasn’t stupid enough to think that ancient Lich would take this “surprise” attack lying down.
CLANG!
As I predicted, the monster's fist collided with something unseen…
SHLUK!
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SHLUK!
SHLUK!
And a stabbing noise echoed a moment later, countless daggers of ice piercing into the attacking golem. We observed in real-time as every surface of the earthen construct facing the Lich was being saturated with icicles.
It would be cartoonish if it weren’t so horrifying.
I trembled a bit, imagining what that attack would do to my avatar - obsidian flesh or not.
Yet even such an onslaught wasn’t enough to stop the mindless monster I made, the sound of the attack repeating again and again. At the same time, the construct’s mana expenditure was raised explosively.
CLANG!
SHLUK! SHLUK! SHLUK!
CLANG!
SHLUK! SHLUK! SHLUK!
CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!
SHLUK! SHLUK! SHLUK! SHLUK! SHLUK! SHLUK!
The endless symphony of unstoppable objects meeting immovable force. My head was starting to hurt from the noise, even Charles seemed out of it, his earlier rage replaced with pain and confusion. The minutes passed away…
And then something gave.
“How are you still not falling?!” Lich’s voice echoed with a hint of astonishment.
CRASH!
The golem’s punch pierced into the icy shield and attempted to hit the undead square on. I was waiting for some grand response - a magical artifact or maybe reactive teleportation. Hell, a simple dodge would be enough. Instead, the punch connected and sent the undead magician flying.
It was quite a long and beautiful arc, not gonna lie… for a moment I even expected our skeletal foe to crash and burn. But these delusions were swept away as soon as the enemy bounced a few times before stopping and easily rising again.
“Magnificent!” The Lich shouted, not worse for wear. “It had been some time since I was forced to get serious.” It paused. “Minus points for the helper, though.”
I shuddered, the undead’s cold gaze hitting differently than it did when I observed it from the safety of my Dungeon’s Core. Still, it only glared in our direction, seemingly focusing more on weaving mana. I could visibly see the icy threads coming together, forming an amorphous mass.
My senses screamed “Danger!” as the Lich showed no signs of stopping. I ordered the golem to engage and grabbed Charles by the scruff, cycling earthen mana in my changed body.
“Wha-- What are you doing, you freak!” Charles took this moment to return to his senses.
I cursed under my nose, before shouting in response. “Shaddup! We need to bail. Ice-Age level extinction event is coming!”
“What are you talking about?! Wait. Why did you intervene? I was winning!”
“Like hell you were! It played with you like a dog would with a rag ball!”
“A few minutes more and I would have slipped through its guard!”
“In a few minutes you would end up as a wet stain on the ground… now let me concentrate. I’m new to this whole human magic thing.”
When in doubt, hide in a hole - this sentence was turning into my new motto. Well, not new. My whole existence on Yana was comprised of digging in the ground.
A complete mole experience!
At least I wasn’t blind.
Anyway.
Earth to Mud was working overtime, and it was fine - except for the mud not having anywhere to go. I was forced to use the teleportation spell to shovel it away.
Oh, the irony.
At least it was noticeably easier to use Dos affinities, the shadow, and earth flowing naturally through the changed flesh. There was even some enhancement effect, which I totally should investigate - later.
Only seconds passed when I felt my connection to the golem falter and break, the idea of mental connection frozen solid and then crushed to pieces. I didn’t want to think about the level of power allowing the enemy to freeze mana… would my soul frost over and break if I didn’t escape in time?
My thoughts were cut short, as the rest of the attack arrived, painting the surface white. I redoubled my efforts, desperately trying to stay ahead of the creeping cold. The tendrils followed us quite the way down, at least until Charles noticed the problem and started using his mastery over the fire to block the advancing ice.
I stopped moving downward and instead took a turn, coming back into familiar territory. A few more minutes passed and soon we emerged - covered in dirt, but alive. A newly made frost meadow welcomed our emergence, with everything, no matter if dead or living caught up in it turning into statues.
Amongst its victims, the Lich stood ramrod straight, emanating a feeling of smugness despite lacking facial muscles.
“You survived!” It chortled as soon as we appeared. “Good! You’re exceeding my expectations. Now… the trial of power is complete.”
It swayed a bit, pointing to hills behind its back. “I am curious how will you struggle against the trial of endurance?” For a moment nothing happened… then I felt it.
“We need to go!”
“What?”
“Order your men to retreat!”
“Why?! We’re winning!”
“It was only a vanguard. More… much more are coming - dead, alive, in-between… They are coming! Order the retreat!”
Charles’ face hardened. “If what you say is true, then we need to contain them. Or… I don’t know - thin them out?” He switched from one idea to another, despair slowly coloring his face.
“Charles!” I slapped him. The pain woke the red-haired mage from his stupor. “Charles! Order! The! Retreat! Get your people out of the perimeter!”
“I can’t! It will be a slaughter!”
“I’ll get my troops to cover you.”
“You have a plan?”
“Have you ever wondered, where my explosives went?” I grinned, the tingling sensation of a prank well done swirling in my belly.
His eyes dilated. “How many?”
“Enough to make a real moat.” I slapped his shoulder. “Now get your people out of here, slow and steady, then form defensive positions above the Dungeon.”
With a simple nod, Charles turned away and ran, his voice bellowing orders.
As he hurried his soldiers away the bloodied but alive beastkin, humans, and dungeon creatures retreated in a more or less orderly fashion. I was left alone, staring at the advancing bulk of the enemy forces.
The Lich went away without a fuss, forcing me to admit that the invasion was just another game it played. And I was about to turn over the table.
Unlike the undead vanguard it summoned earlier these foes were mostly flesh and blood. Orcs, goblins, kobolds, and other humanoids swarmed in hosts more reminiscent of ancient armies, than supposedly monstrous creatures.
Sprinkled amongst them were groups of undead, ranging from armored zombies to enhanced skeletons. Their gait was slow and purposeful, like a preview of despair that they would soon unleash on the living. It was intimidating. At the same time, these were just ordinary troops. Yes, the amount was massive, and their coordination was praiseworthy but it wasn’t anything we haven’t beaten before.
I guess the endurance meant dealing with weak but numerous foes.
Instead of worrying, I grinned wildly, slowly retreating to Charles’ lines. The soldiers were mixed now, forming a defensive half-circle made out of flesh and desperation. A beastkin standing shoulder to shoulder with a human, or soul-scoured dwarf was a common occurrence… even if the last one was a dungeon creature.
After my feet crossed the Dungeon’s invisible line I summoned the earth around me. In seconds an eagle nest was made, allowing me to watch the surroundings. The earth started moving like a living thing, rising into a defensive fortification. It wasn’t much, just a three-meter tall ramp dividing the two armies.
I started humming a song that nobody but me knew on this planet.
Let there be blood… I sang as the order was given and then relayed to my creatures.
The hundreds, thousands of Lebir Exploders crowding in the tunnels underneath the Oasis slowly opened their red eyes. They moved into the prepared hallways, filling every empty space until there was only flesh and explosives present.
Underneath them large empty halls laid barren and empty - work of the Ratlings that surrounded every centimeter of the Dungeon.
Then more abominations followed, squishing those already present, packing more and more fuel for the pyre.
And, as I hummed the finale the electrical maces in their hands ignited.
In an instant, the world stopped to exist.
BOOOOOOM!
The explosion filled the surroundings with the smell of sulfur and cooked flesh, a large chunk of the enemy army turning into ribbons. My attack came instantly, filling the surroundings with churning earth. The rest of the enemy army was stunned, their gazes not comprehending what just happened.
As the dust settled the allied humans cheered.
They were now surrounded by a large moat - becoming an island in the wasteland sea. I surged the mana through the pulped flesh and dirt, solidifying the mud into rock. Despite not knowing the proper spell I gambled on running it in the reverse. And it worked!
A familiar voice cut through the beginnings of chaos. “That wasn’t fair, challenger!” Lich was seething.
“Fuck you!” I answered, knowing full well that it couldn’t understand me. “Release the rats!”