Darkness. The entire world shrouded itself in a blanket I couldn’t see through, no matter how many times I blinked my eyes. I was looking down and playing through the last bit of my game when suddenly I heard a loud honking and…

MORTAL -

Huh? Who… who’s there???

YOU PERISHED IN AN UNTIMELY ACCIDENT. THE TIME FOR YOUR REINCARNATION IS NIGH. IN LIFE, YOU WERE UNABLE TO ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING.

Well, I wouldn’t go that far… I have a living Pokedex-

LIVING IN YOUR MOTHER’S BASEMENT, YOU WERE RUN OVER BY THE VERY MOVING TRUCK YOU HIRED AFTER YOUR MOTHER KICKED YOU OUT. YOU HAD NO FRIENDS, NO LOVERS, AND NO AMBITION.

Each word struck me through the heart. Geez, that’s just being harsh isn’t it…?

AND SO WITH MY POWER, I SHALL BRING YOU WHAT YOU CRAVE. YOU WILL BE REINCARNATED INTO A FANTASY ROMANCE STORY AND SURROUNDED BY TALENTED AND ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE.

Eh???

THIS IS ONLY MY FOURTH TIME DOING THIS, BUT THE LAST THREE TIMES WERE SO DELIGHTFUL. AHH, WITNESSING DENSE PROTAGONISTS SURROUNDED BY STRAPPING YOUNG BACHELORS GETS MY HEART PUMPING. I WONDER WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD YOU WILL ENCOUNTER?

Wait, wait, wait, hold on! Who the hell are you? What are you talking about???

IT’S BOOTING UP NOW.

The dark, empty chamber I found myself in suddenly had a glowing center. I couldn’t see my body when I looked down, which frankly freaked me the fuck out, but I saw a golden, glowing oval in the dark. It changed shape as limbs spread out, causing the oval to take on an equine shape. Something about its silhouette seemed really familiar.

NOW THEN, LET’S SEE HERE…

I gasped as the golden silhouette shattered to reveal the true form of the mysterious being. It’s…

REALLY? WHY DID I SET THIS TO RANDOM…

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

Arceus! Oh my lord, Arceus itself is the real god!? And all that stuff it said before… I’m going to be isekai’d into Pokemon, aren’t I???

THIS IS QUITE RIDICULOUS. BUT, YOU KNOW, I AM IN THE MOOD FOR SOMETHING FUNNY, I SUPPOSE.

Arceus paused as it stared at me. Or I think it’s staring at me. I honestly can’t tell.

WOOPS. FORGOT TO GIVE YOU A BODY. HMM… WHITE HAIR, RED EYED PROTAGONISTS ARE ALL THE RAGE THESE DAYS, BUT… I DON’T THINK THAT QUITE MATCHES THE SETTING.

A second pause. Arceus closed its eyes and tilted its head. Awww, it’s honestly kind of cute. Well, all Pokemon are cute, actually…

AH, LET’S TRY THIS APPEARANCE.

“All Pokemon are cute… except for fucking stunfisk. What a little twerp, what a mistake of god, what - oh wait, am I talking now?”

EXCELLENT. OH, I JUST CAN’T WAIT. SO LET’S SEE… HOW ABOUT THE CURRENT GAME? THAT WOULD MAKE FOR AN INTERESTING SETTING. BUT I’LL SWITCH IT UP A BIT. YES, AND LET’S THROW IN A FEW CAMEOS, OH, LET’S INCLUDE FAN FAVORITES TOO.

Arceus waved its head around as points of light appeared from its forehead and zoomed towards me. They surrounded my body, forming a five-foot circle around me.

I noticed my body and checked out my hands. Woah, my nails look totally normal. Actually, they look good! Perhaps in my next life, I could avoid biting my nails to the quick.

MORTAL, I HAVE SO FAR GIVEN ALL THE TRANSMIGRATORS WISHES. WHAT SORT OF WISHES WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE? THINK OF THEM AS CHEATS, IF THAT HELPS YOU.

Cheating? I don’t really find cheating fun in a Pokemon game… they are made for literal children.

FOR EXAMPLE, YOU COULD START WITH A LEGENDARY POKEMON COMPANION! OR I COULD GIVE YOU A MAGIKARP WITH OVERPOWERED STATS AND MOVES IT SHOULDN’T KNOW. THE SKY IS THE LIMIT!

Hmm… Honestly, I don’t really care to be overpowered.

“Arceus, could I start with the shiny charm?”

I BEG YOUR PARDON?

“The shiny charm. It increases the odds you find shiny Pokemon. That’s all I really want, to be honest with you.”

VERY WELL THEN. JUST… A SHINY CHARM. YES, THAT IS ALL I AM BESTOWING UPON YOU. SIMPLY THE SHINY CHARM.

“When you say it like that, I have a hard time believing you…”

AHEM. ANYWAY, YOUR JOURNEY IS ABOUT TO BEGIN IN THE MOST RECENT GAME ENTRY.

“Ahh, Sword and Shield. I already beat it, so thankfully nothing will come as a surprise. That is the most common form of isekai, right? The one where you have all this foreknowledge of events.”

ACTUALLY THE NEW GAME IS VIOLET AND SCARLET.

“What? Is that a fangame?”

I NABBED YOUR SOUL A WHILE AGO, THE NEW GAME IS OUT. SORRY, DOES THAT UPSET YOU?

I shook as I choked out the word, “That… That… That’s incredible!” I threw my arms wide open. “Even though I died before I could play it, at least I will still get to see all the new Pokemon! Arceus, you are the one true god!!!”

WHAT A RELIEF. NOW GO FORTH AND ENJOY YOUR NEW LIFE!

“Thank you! Thank you! Even if I don’t know what will happen, at least it’s a children’s game. It’s not like anyone dies in Pokemon.”

Crickets.

“Arceus?”

TOODLES!

I felt myself suddenly being pulled in towards Arceus as it changed form yet again, back into the golden oval. I lost consciousness soon after reaching the surface.