"Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none."

- William Shakespeare

----------------------------------------

Sprawled on my bed, I stared at the ceiling, my hands gripping my phone tightly against my chest. I was having a battle with myself, debating whether I should attend the party happening in a few hours. I was reprimanding myself for even considering joining the party when my introverted self despised the very idea of any form of social gathering, but the extrovert in me, a side inside me that I never knew existed, was telling me to attend and make friends.

Make friends? Who would wanna be friends with me? I thought.

Cyrus apparently. A voice deep within the bowels of my thoughts responded mockingly.

I felt my phone vibrate in my hands. I heaved myself up into a sitting position and turned on my phone, squinting at the notification pop up on the screen.

1 new message from Cyrus

I tapped on the message, reading it.

Cyrus: Did you just ignore my last message? :(

I shook my head and put my thumbs to work.

Bellona: I didn't feel like responding

Typing...

Cyrus: Well, uhhh are you going to the party soon?

I sighed, not understanding his persistence.

Bellona: Who exactly is attending the party? Besides Song

Cyrus: A lot of 4th years and a few uni students are attending

My thumbs hovered over the virtual keyboard, contemplating my response.

Bellona: I don't think I want to go...

He was fast to reply, but it wasn't surprising considering this guy's unhealthy "obsession" with me.

Cyrus: Whaaaatt?! How come? You'll meet some new people!

I frowned intensely at the screen.

Bellona: It's not for someone like me

His status showed he was texting but then stopped. It seemed like he was thinking about what to type.

Cyrus: I'm not going to force you to come, but I'd feel better if you did

Bellona: Have fun at the party and don't do anything illegal

Cyrus: I'll keep that in mind luv x

I rolled my eyes.

Luv? You gotta be kidding me.

I shut off my phone and stared at my face reflected on its black screen. I closed my eyes and gripped the sides of my phone in discontent. A part of me badly wanted to turn back time just to tell him that I wanted to go, but I didn't have it in me to say it.

I honestly didn't know what I wanted.

All my life, I shut myself away from the world, believing that I never needed anyone but myself. The only people I let into my life were my family, and that's all I ever needed.

I was about to lie down on the bed, but I felt my phone vibrate.

I turned it on and read the message on the screen.

1 new message from Sara

I was astounded by this, knowing Sara would never have the guts to text anyone of all people I knew. She wasn't only in my Japanese class. We exchanged phone numbers the other day in government class for group study. I was relieved to know that she was my partner and it wasn't anyone else. When I was around her, she gave me this sense of release, like I didn't have to put on some act to be in her presence.

Sara: Hi Bellona! I know this is really sudden, and all, but are you going to the party tonight?

My mouth gaped open at her text. I had a feeling she intended on going to the party but needed some partner in crime to come with her.

I scoffed and started texting.

Bellona: To be honest, I don't really know if I want to go. It's usually all the outgoing and bold kids that go to the parties :/

Sara: Yeah... I totally get you. I just thought it'd be a nice change of pace for once. Ngl staying in the house every day really messes with my sanity. I don't have any siblings, and my parents are almost always never home

Bellona: Are you implying that you want me to come with you to the party?

Sara: Yeah... I'm sorry if that's too much to ask for! I'll pay you back somehow!

Bellona: You don't need to pay me back. I'll come with you if it makes you happy

Sara: Thank you so much! We still have 2 hours before the party starts, so I'll pick you up and drive you to my house! We'll prepare there so send me your address c:

It took me a while to process what was going on.

Was I really going to do this? And why the hell was she so excited?

You already know why. The same voice deep in my head echoed.

The voice was right. I did know why.

Despite having a sibling, something Sara didn't have, I understood what it meant to be alone all the time. As much as I preferred loneliness, I admit that it sometimes gets boring. I would always play video games or watch anime with my brother whenever I was bored, but now that he was in college, he didn't have the same time as he did in high school. Even so, he always did his best to spend time with me, and I loved him for that.

Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.

I sent Sara my address and shut my phone off.

I went up to my closet, grabbed some black jeggings, a grey sweater, and a bra from the hangers. I lazily put the clothes on and slunk back on my bed again. I plugged my phone into the charger and waited for Sara to pick me up.

A couple minutes past and I heard the doorbell ring. I shot out of my room, quickly grabbing my wallet and phone, and rushed downstairs.

As soon as I arrived downstairs, my brother was already opening the door. Sometimes I'd forget he was ever in the house since he was so quiet and barely made any noise. The door opened, and there stood Sara. Her face looked a little nervous, but I assumed it was because of my brother.

Ephraim didn't exactly have a friendly looking face, but he definitely wasn't mean. If anything, he was friendlier than I ever was.

"Um, h-hello." Sara greeted timidly. I walked forward and tapped on my brother's shoulder. He looked at me, and I said, "She's with me. I'm going to her house for tonight."

He scrutinized me for a moment and questioned me steadily, "Do mom and dad know about this?"

"No..." I dragged. "Can you tell them? I won't be gone for too long."

Ephraim eyed me strangely and bobbed his head, "Fine. Just don't do anything stupid."

I smiled at him, genuinely grateful for his cooperation. "Let's get going, Sara."

She nodded, and we walked off together. I heard the front door shut behind me as I entered the passenger seat. I sat myself down and put on my seatbelt. Sara turned to look at me in her seat and tilted her head at me.

"Was that your brother?"

"Yeah, my older brother."

She started the engine, and the vehicle went into motion. "He's kind of cute..."

I immediately covered my mouth to stop my ugly laugh, "Oh wow. I didn't expect that coming from you."

"Do you think he's ugly or something?"

I shook my head. "My brother's always been the pretty boy when we grew up back in the Philippines. Everyone thought he wasn't Filipino because of his exotic looks. Meanwhile, I got the shit end of the stick."

Sara giggled. "You're both very beautiful siblings. No need to undervalue yourself." I felt my face flush, and I folded my arms across my chest. I didn't say anything in response to her compliment. It's not like I even knew what to say in the first place.

It was a ten-minute ride to her house, and I was glad. Both of us didn't even talk the entire way. All we did was vibe to the music on Sara's playlist.

We both got out of the car, and Sara eagerly approached her front door and threw it open. "Come on, let's go!" She grabbed my hand and dragged me upstairs to her room.

The very sight of her room was incredible. I didn't get to see the house's downstairs interior since I was dragged upstairs forcefully by my blonde partner. The outside of the house looked really simple, and in contrast with the inside of Sara's room, it occurred to me that she was from a wealthy family. A home like this was definitely higher priced than mine.

"Wow..." I drawled in amazement. "Your room is so big and fancy."

I looked around the room to see Sara digging through her closet for something.

"Um, what are you doing?" I asked, attempting to peek over her shoulder. She suddenly whirled around, and my face was slapped by a flurry of colors.

"Here!" She placed whatever she hit me in the face with on her queen-sized bed. "Try these on!"

I turned around and realized that she had taken out dresses from her closet. I examined the array of dresses on her bed. To someone who had a drab sense of fashion, like me, all the dresses looked nice.

"Uh... They all look stunning. I don't really know which one to try on."

Sara placed a hand on her hip and rubbed her chin, "What's your favorite color?"

"I don't have one, but I guess I really like dark colors."

Without delay, she picked up a black dress from the bed. Upon closer inspection, the dress looked very refined, something a model would wear. I hesitated on touching it, afraid that I would taint the sheer beauty of its fabric. Finally, I gave in and decided to try it on.

"Can you... turn around so I can change?" I inquired shyly.

Sara blinked at me and said, "We're both girls. It's fine to change in front of me, you know."

"I know, but—"

"You don't need to worry about how your body looks in front of someone who won't criticize you."

I was about to open my mouth to protest, but I decided against it. She was right, after all. Sara wasn't the kind of person to crudely judge people for their appearance.

Cautiously, I stripped myself of my clothes, leaving myself only in my bra and underwear.

I took a good look at the black dress again, letting my fingers roam over the delicate material. From what I felt, the dress was mostly composed of black velvet, excluding the arms, which were see-through material with a flower-like ruffle that blossomed at the wrist area.

The arm parts of the dress did not fully cover the shoulders, which meant my bra straps would show if I were to wear it. Carefully, I removed both the straps of my bra. Thankfully, my mom would always buy me bras with detachable straps just in case the straps were to fail and the bra itself would still remain in place. It was a womanly invention that I appreciated very much so.

"You wear bikini panties?" Sara blurted out of nowhere.

Out of instinct, I shielded myself with the yet-to-be-worn dress to cover my underwear. "Y-Yeah... Does it look bad?"

Sara chuckled and shook her head. "Nothing wrong with it. I actually think it fits your body type really well! To think you were hiding those curves under all those thick clothes!"

I felt my face heat up like a volcano. I was probably as red as a tomato right now. Not responding, I hurriedly put on the black velvet dress. To my surprise, it fit perfectly. Sara and I weren't exactly the same height, but maybe this was one of her older pieces of clothing.

I turned to look at the mirror.

"It suits you so much, Bellona!"

The dress hugged every curve of my body and showed off enough skin to leave little to the imagination. It had been a long time since I'd worn something as fancy as this. Dresses, skirts, and heels weren't exactly my cup of tea, regardless of the color, but this was a change I was sorta willing to slide with.

"Here! I've got some matching heels with that cute dress!"

Sara handed over a pair of black heels with long ebony ribbons attached to them. I put them on, spun the ribbons around my leg, and tied it back.

"You're definitely wearing that to the party!" My blonde partner in crime gushed. As much as I hated to admit it, I wanted to wear it to the party.

"Now, let me do your makeup," she said as she gestured for me to sit on the chair in front of the vanity. I sat myself down and waited for Sara to paint my face with whatever she had on her vanity table. She shuffled with a few things on the table and held something up to my face. I didn't know much about makeup except lipstick, eyeliner, and mascara. I didn't know what she was holding up to my face, but whatever it was, she was gonna use it on me.

"Close your eyes."

The entire process felt foreign to me. She was doing all sorts of things to my face that I would never do to myself even if I had the skill to do it. It took a couple of minutes for Sara to finish dolling me up, but I felt her mess with my hair a bit. I didn't really mind, though.

I heard her step away from me, my eyes still shut. "You can open your eyes now." I blinked my eyes and looked at the vanity mirror.

The girl in the reflection was not the same as the one I saw at home. Her hair was fixed into a lovely crown braid. The rough skin on her face was no longer noticeable, her eyes were almost cat-like in appearance, and her lashes were longer than usual, almost resembling that of a secretary bird. Her eyelids were shaded in with a sparkling black. Her cheeks were pink in color, and her lips were painted a lovely rose matte.

She was beautiful.

But even I knew that it was only a mask.

"You look like a goddess!" My blonde partner wiped away a non-existent tear from her cheek. "I did such a good job..."

"You're really good at all this fashion and makeup stuff..." I muttered, my eyes still glued to the mirror.

"My aunt is a professional makeup artist, and I really wanted to be like her when I was younger. I still do now." Sara smiled at the makeup brushes in her hand. "I know I'm shy and all, but I want to work on becoming more open with myself. It'll benefit me in the future, and I can be happy."

She reminds me of my younger self, back when I used to believe that I deserved happiness, back when I was a little girl free from the burden of pain and suffering.

I stood up from the chair and patted my dress. "You should really get changed too, Sara. The party's gonna start in 30 minutes."

"Oh my gosh, you're right!" She clumsily ran over to her closet and picked out her dress.

I shook my head, a small smile creeping up my face, but my smile quickly faded when I glanced at the mirror one last time.

The voice inside my head echoed. The mask you wear will slowly, but surely, become your real face...

And I knew better than to keep it on for too long.