Following that fateful night when Sky had broken his promise to Star, and tried to take his own life; the rest of that summer was the hardest of their entire short lives. The two who had previously been each other’s soul strength when dealing with the world around them, were now afraid to even let themselves be in the same room any longer. And losing the strength that they had always provided for one another, it left them both as shells, shadows of their former selves.
Both wanted nothing more, truly, than to die, to escape their own pain and shame; the only thing keeping them going at all anymore was the slight glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, it really was still a lie. Though both of them were afraid to even let themselves think that for more than a fleeting second, for fear they would spiral to a place neither of them were sure they’d ever be able to forgive themselves for going again, just in case it was the truth.
When they started high school that August, the two had now become so numb to feeling anything at all anymore, that they didn’t even notice whatever cruelty was visited upon them each day. Perhaps it was a small blessing for them to be so lost inside themselves that they felt nothing else outside, perhaps.
That day, the bell rang to mark the end of their biology class, and the two pushed themselves up from the lab-table they were forced to share due to the alphabetized seating and their shared last name. As they numbly moved toward the door on auto-pilot, as they had been ever since school started again, their teacher called them to her desk after the rest of their classmates had dispersed.
“So, which one of you would like to explain?” Ms. Colby asked them disapprovingly.
The two allowed only the briefest of glances toward each other before Star sighed and replied, “explain what?”
“The blood samples and tests we were going to do on them are fifty percent of your grade this semester. Contaminating them is not going to help either of you pass this class” she scolded them.
“What?” Sky offered, though his voice was hoarse as he barely used it to speak to anyone at all anymore.
“Seriously what did you even use to contaminate them? I can’t even figure that one out, and I have a master’s” she told them with a frustrated sigh.
“Our blood samples are contaminated?” Star repeated, narrowing her eyes in confusion.
“Is this where you two pretend you had nothing to do with it?” she scoffed disapprovingly.
“What bullshit” Sky mumbled under his breath as he started away.
“That is not going to help your case young...man” she stated, the hesitation obvious as her eyes moved over his ultra-feminine appearance.
That was when Star reached out to grab his arm to stop his departure, both of them freezing up at the feel of one another’s skin touching even that innocently after all these months. Removing her hand from his arm just as quickly, Star swallowed hard, forcing her attention back to their teacher, “you think we did it? Just let us give you new samples, right here, right now. That way you can watch to see that we aren’t messing with them” she suggested.
Ms. Colby shook her head once again as she looked between the two of them. Then, remembering the rumors floating about the school, she tried to subtly move her eyes to Sky’s wrist. Seeing the long vertical scar that he didn’t even bother trying to hide with much more than a few spiked bracelets, she swallowed hard.
“Fine, I’ll give you a second, and last chance. Take a seat while I get the lancets.”
As the two waited awkwardly for Ms. Colby to process their new samples, Star just had to speak up to cut the silence in the room, “so a master’s degree in biology you said?”
“Guilty” the teacher returned as she continued her work.
“Think that’s what our parents have. They work at some lab doing who knows what” Star offered conversationally, as Sky just shook his head, his eyes on anything but his sister, as they had been for four long months now.
“Sounds mysterious” Colby tried to joke, still feeling a bit of sympathy for these two more than troubled teens after seeing the evidence of how deep that trouble ran when she had glanced at his wrist moments earlier.
Star sighed nervously once more before asking her next question, “so what all can you find out from a blood test, anyway?”
“Do I sense that you may be following in your parents’ footsteps someday?” she smiled back at her.
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“No” was Star’s simple answer, before adding, “just curious what we’ll be testing it for this semester” she excused.
“Well, blood tests can be used to determine lots of things. General health, pregnancy, ethnicity, age, genealogy...lots of things” she smiled back at her.
“Genealogy? Like who we’re related to?” Star repeated, though Sky did finally look up as well then.
“Yeah that’s how they do paternity tests and such” Colby affirmed.
“So you can tell who our father is...just by testing our blood?” Sky finally joined the conversation.
“Oh boy” Colby stated with a slight blush, “I really don’t wanna get involved in any kind of family drama here” she told them nervously.
Trying desperately to draw the older woman back into the conversation, Star spoke again, “no, it’s nothing like that. We already know we’re adopted” she stated with a breath as only a small bit of relief passed their teacher’s face, “we’re just curious about our real parents, I guess” Star dared, Sky now hanging on every word of the conversation then as well.
Colby sighed as she looked between them once more, “me helping students find out who their biological parents are...I don’t know if that’s strictly ethical” she worried aloud.
“Well you can at least tell us where we can get a non-school approved blood test, can’t you?” Star prodded.
“I suppose referring a student to a doctor colleague wouldn’t exactly be looked upon too skeptically” Colby agreed with a small smile before turning to scratch a number and address onto a post-it and hand it back to Star. “Don’t make me regret it” she added the warning, “now, get outta here. I have papers to grade.”
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The nearly forgotten sound of Sky’s voice startled Star from where she stared off down the street after school that day, waiting for their cab to arrive. “You know, we actually could just go home and open the safe. I mean, we’d get the same answer, right?”
“Would we?” Star looked back at him pointedly.
“What? Now we think they went so far as to fake these so-called birth certificates too?” Sky asked her a moment after they got into the cab. “That’s going really, really far outta their way just to convince us we’re related, isn’t it?”
“So, why would they do that?” Star asked pointedly.
Sky just shook his head, “I have no fucking clue, Star” he admitted.
Star took a deep breath, debating on whether to say what she was thinking right then. Once she looked back into those gorgeous eyes of his again, and then at the evidence of his hopelessness there on his pale wrist, she spoke, “well I have one theory, but it’s kinda insane.”
“Perfect then. What theory?” Sky coaxed.
“Remember what happens?” Star asked, slightly biting her lip.
“I think you left out the rest of that sentence” Sky retorted wryly.
“What happens when we....touch” she managed, choking slightly on the last word.
Forcing down all of those memories himself, Sky replied, “what about it?”
“Who knows what we could have made happen if we had actually...” she let her voice trail off, “what better way to keep us from ever finding that out, other than convincing us that if we ever did touch, like that, that we were deplorable, sick, twisted human beings?”
Sky scoffed, though he couldn’t help thinking on her words. After a long moment, he replied, “so you think this is all one huge conspiracy, just to keep us from ever fucking each other?” he shook his head again.
“Does any other fucking thing make sense at this point, I mean, really?”
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Upon getting told that the earliest they could get their blood test results back would be the next day, as they barely even got in to see the doctor before the office closed that day, the two headed back home in annoyance and impatience. But more important than that, the two at least had some slim hope to look forward to again. The worst case scenario was the test confirming what they already had let themselves believe to the point that it had made Sky want to take his own life. But the best case was that there was that tiny chance the two would find a reason to actually want to live their precious lives again.
When they got home and went back upstairs, this time, the two actually stopped to look back at one another before retreating behind the closed doors of their bedrooms immediately once more. Star looked up at Sky, where he stood more than eight inches taller than her now, and took a breath, “so, if we do find out...something good, what’s the first thing we’re gonna do?”
“Do we really wanna play this what-if game again?” Sky returned her question, though softly.
“I just mean, do we get angry first or... do we do something else first?” Star dared, looking up at him with that longing the two had been trying to force down for four long months now.
“Like I said, do we really wanna ask ourselves that, right now?”
“That’s all I’ve been asking myself since the night you...since what she made you wanna do” she settled on, biting back emotion.
“Can’t tell me that she didn’t make you wanna do that too, every second, since she told us” Sky whispered back.
Star closed her eyes softly as she took a breath, “but I had to hold on...since you promised me you would” she reminded him sadly.
Sky looked down with his own sadness at that reminder, “Right now, I think we just need to make it one more day, right?” he whispered back before then finally turning and heading into his room once more.
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That night, over dinner, the teens could still barely find words as usual. Though Connor and Brie seemed rather uninterested in chatting then either as both were now constantly checking the rapid tirade of messages coming to both their phones. At last, the texting finally stopped as the adults looked up at one another furtively, and forced themselves back to their own meals.
Mere minutes after the adults’ phones finally fell silent, the teens’ phones buzzed, causing them to look away from the few bites of food they had managed that night. “What?” the two teens asked in unison, eyes widening at the text.
They swallowed hard as they looked up at one another. As usual, Star was the first to find her voice, choked though it was, “I guess we don’t have school tomorrow” she managed.
Connor’s eyes met Brie’s across the table once more before Brie was the one to force a reply, “how come, honey?”
“The school’s science lab was apparently broken into” Star stammered, she and Sky both looking more than a bit worriedly down at their phones still, “Ms. Colby was killed.”