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For Someone Like Him
For Someone Like Him

For Someone Like Him

When he first caught sight of the group standing by the aquarium, he was too distracted by the anxiety tugging his sternum towards his stomach to notice the familiar figure standing amongst them. He tried to breathe deeply and steadily as Dr. Wainright had instructed him to in situations as stressful as this one.

They don’t know anything about me. None of them. He reassured himself silently, even as he started counting how many potential ways today could go wrong. Five. Five of them so far. What if they’re all friends already?

His heart buzzed like a mobile phone set on vibrate and he dragged a hand across his chest as though it were a frightened puppy he could soothe simply by petting it.

I’m not the only one. The other four aren’t here yet. I can still get along with one of them, right? As he got closer to them, his vision started to quiver. He closed his eyes, drawing as much air into his lungs as possible. Because if he didn’t, he knew he would turn tail and run. Would they follow me if I ran? They know what I look like but I doubt anyone saw me alrea–

He peeked out from between heavy eyelids and nearly froze on the spot. Someone was waving a blue gloved hand and the rest of the group seemed to follow her gaze. Almost in sync, they lifted identically coloured hands. Embarrassment crept up his face and back down across his scalp in a warm rush. He forced himself to continue walking, taking his last deep breaths before joining them.

They are waving at me, aren’t they? He rubbed at his face self-consciously, using the movement to look back over his shoulder. No one else was there. No one with a blue glove, at least. And no one from the pictures on the forum.

He thought he heard some of them call out greetings but it could have been the hum of traffic from the road he had just crossed. The final one separating him from them.

Why do they already sound like they belong together? Can I join them? Someone like me? The impossibility of it all seemed more real than the existence of the implant in his head. The thing that supposedly bound them all together, some more than others. They don’t know anything about my past or my family. They don’t know how easy it is to hate me. That means I can start over with them, right? I can be a new person. A new Graham who has parents that want him. Who doesn’t need a psychiatrist. A Graham who might be worth something to one of these girls. Even I can do that, can’t I?

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His pulse sounded like the whirr of a UFO above his head and sweat dampened the back of his neck as he lowered his hand and straightened up to face to them. He shouldn’t have thought about the whole partner thing right before he could speak to them. The pressure in his throat filled the space like a fire alarm going off in an empty building. It echoed around in his chest, saving no one.

I know I don’t have a family. After all the crap I’ve done, maybe I don’t deserve one. He swallowed the negativity, accepting it deep into his stomach so he wouldn’t have to carry it in his hands. It made it easier to lift one of them, returning their acknowledgement of his presence with a blue glove of his own. But maybe … just maybe even someone like me can have friends.

He kept his eyes closed for a second longer than usual to gather himself before opening them and attempting a genuine smile. His gaze collided with an unexpectedly familiar pair of widened eyes set in a dark-skinned face. A face which seemed a little paler than usual. Graham faltered, slowing, the siren that was going off in his lungs somehow reaching his brain.

What – why is he here? Coincidence? No. Why would he be here of all places? Today of all days? Did he follow me here? Panic rippled through him from head to foot like a vengeful waterfall. Is this a trap? This whole Soul Echo thing? Was it his idea? Did he arrange all this just to get back at me for messing with him all this time?

Though he seemed terrified in his own way, the other guy did not look shocked. His shoulders were set like someone determined not to run. Graham recognised the posture from the pattern wired into his own body.

Of course he’s not surprised. He probably saw my picture on the forum. That’s probably why he didn’t post his own. He lowered his arm, watching the other closely, waiting for a signal. None of the others looked like they had heard anything bad about him yet. Their expressions hadn’t changed from when he had seen them across the road.

From when they had seen him.

Does that mean he hasn’t told them about me? The other guy looked away and the alarm bells faded to a persistent, dull ring in his ears and a blunt ache in his muscles. Positivity dripped from his fingertips onto the pavement and leaked out from the soles of his feet, taking his energy with it. Or does it mean he hasn’t told them … yet? He’s waiting for everyone else to get here, isn’t he?

“Hey, Graham, right?” said someone. Probably the girl who had waved at him first.

With all the strength he could manage, Graham pulled his eyes away from the guy who had unwillingly received his anger for years and smiled wearily.

“Yeah.” He cleared his throat half-heartedly. “Yeah, I’m Graham.”

Family? Friends? Somewhere I can belong? He wanted to laugh at himself. He wanted to kick the nearest metal bin as hard as he could. The pills in his pocket rattled invitingly within his concealed fist. Why did I think it was possible?

He should have known it wouldn’t be this easy.

Not for someone like him.

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