I saw nothing of Mason until two days later. He rode in from wherever he'd been, a frown plastered on his face. I, desperate for my missing letter, sought him from room to room.
To say his movements were stealth was an understatement. I'd even go so far as to assume he avoided me.
Jumping to conclusions was never a good idea without evidence so I chalked it up to bad timing and carried on with my day. The man loved to eat, and he would never miss a meal.
With that knowledge firmly set, I carried on. As expected, he showed up for dinner but hardly took a bite of his food. Instead, he stared at the table often, misunderstanding requests and unintentionally ignoring his mother.
I assumed it was unintentional because he'd often look at her when she voiced her concern but within minutes, he stared at the table yet again.
Something rattled him. I took it as a bad sign.
Once our meal ended, I waited out in the hall. He didn't say much to his parents but exited to the sight of me ready to pounce on him.
"Where is my letter?" I asked in the nicest tone I could manage. Yes, the words came out through clenched teeth but I could do no better. "It disappeared when you did."
He refused to meet eyes with me. Instead, he stared over my head, which wasn't difficult with his height, and tried to pass me.
I refused to let him. "You need only answer."
"I del—I posted it," he told me. "Please let me pass."
But I hadn't a choice when he eased me aside and scaled the staircase at breakneck speed.
I watched after him for a moment and formed my own conclusions. He'd delivered it—delivered my letter and what he saw of my family convinced him that he'd been right—I was the problem.
My gaze lowered to my hands. I'd started to pick at my nails, a terrible habit. He must have met my new stepfather.
While sucking in a deep breath, I drew myself up to my full height for I did not care. I would not denounce my mother's new husband. He was one of the few decent people left. And he'd been good enough to put up with Mother. A man like that deserved respect.
Rather than unpack my suitcase, I kept them at the ready. If Mason told his parents, that might lead to an early dismissal. Also, I wrote to my sister the same day, letting her know that my secret was discovered and I might need to seek refuge with her for a time.
One day turned to two, then three. After a week, I concluded that either Mason kept the secret to himself or perhaps was waiting for the right time to use it.
My days became easier without him interfering with Lana's lessons. She excelled well.
The next time I encountered Gregor, he walked by me without much fan fair.
Mason met him in the foyer, fixing his own tie. He hardly set his gaze on me lately and today was no different.
Gregor looked between us then turned to me. Mason blocked him and, taking him by the arm, led him out. "I refuse to lose today," Mason said. "If today amounts to nothing as well, it's officially a losing streak."
"But don't—"
Mason shoved the man out the door before he could finish his thought. The butler stared after them. I did as well.
Till now, Mason was the first to know about my family. I'd feared discovery for so long. Perhaps too long and that was why today when it came, I did not mind it.
Mason's luck with the fox hunts did not improve, a fact that made him prickly at best. He was short with everyone, even Lana with whom he'd sometimes lose patience.
Perhaps that was why, after one month of us avoiding one another and him coming home disappointed, I set out to make dinner for the family. It was November now and I'd be gone by January.
It wasn't my house but one might imagine things differently with how much free reign the cook gave me. I ordered some of the finest cutlets which I marinated. The vegetables were fresh and crisp. Before using each, I was sure to sample them first.
By supper time, I was too exhausted to eat any of it myself but sat back to the chorus of moans that sounded throughout the dining room.
Mason was the last to partake. I worried he'd stand from the table without even taking a bite. Today, too, he stared at the plates in quiet contemplation.
"Oh, darling. You must try this," his mother insisted. "The governess spent all day on it."
With one blink, Mason awoke from his trance and obeyed.
The first taste accompanied his usual scowl but by the second he looked gentler, younger.
Whatever troubled him faded with the quick speed of the food. He asked for seconds and even thirds which I provided.
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There was none left when I finally had the strength to seek out my own meal. Therefore, I remained in the kitchen and picked at some bread.
My feet took me up to the study as it often did at nighttime. More than once, I found myself staring out that window, wondering what my own home may be in the end. I was twenty now. I had five more years before I'd be considered useless. I suppose looking for someone was the best option but I hardly saw the point.
I could be a governess and live in lavish houses such as these. Raise children who weren't mine, making food for someone else's husband.
This pantomime of a wife could do fantastical things. But I refused.
Before I knew it, December came, and with it snow and presents. Lana was my concern. Because her birthday came so close to the holidays, she'd only receive one gift. I refused to allow that. Last year, Mason had given her three, boasting that she should receive a bonus for having such luck.
Unfortunately, her parents forgot. The task of getting her something was relegated to me. At the time, I hadn't known her well enough to manage anything good but this year that would change.
I had gifts for everyone.
A thick blanket of snow covered everything, even the lake by the time we awoke and started opening presents.
For the duke, I made a tie. The fabric was very expensive, but my salary had somehow doubled so that was not a worry. The duchess received theater tickets. I was sad to admit that I'd chosen them selfishly. Her husband loathed the theater and it was a play I'd wanted to see for some time. My status prevented me. I'd hoped to get three tickets but that was too obvious and far too pricey.
"Oh, but who will I take?" the duchess whined. "Even the children hate the theater." Her eyes settled on me and she hesitated. "I don't suppose—"
"Come on, old man." Mason, situated between them on the floor, chuckled as he struck his father's arm. "Take your wife to the theater. You were in the service, for crying out loud."
I stiffened.
Maybe I made a sound or gave too much away with my disappointment, for he looked at me with renewed eyes and even tried to take back his words.
"Well, ladies should go. So take the governess."
But the idea was already firmly implanted in not just the duchess who looked at her husband hopefully, but the duke himself who regarded his wife with affection.
"Oh, all right. I suppose once won't be the death of me."
Duchess Chamberlain let out a shout and I looked away, embarrassed by my underhanded trick.
I wouldn't be going to any plays, not like this, and it was best to remember my place.
With that, I turned my attention to Lana, my saving grace.
The fur hat and scarf I'd gotten her made her face light up. "Oh, it's lovely."
"And," I whispered, handing over another box by my feet, "there's a matching set for your friend Beatrice."
That scream had me closing my eyes.
It wasn't why the duchess looked less than pleased. "I do not think it is a good idea to use your salary so frivolously," she scolded me.
My posture sagged.
She wasn't the only one put off. The duke let out a grunt and told Lana, "Tell Beatrice it was from us. No sense in her spreading gossip about what we pay our staff."
Lana opened her mouth to protest but Mason patted her head and said, "It's all right. The governess doesn't mind."
I didn't, so I nodded.
Mason's gift confused Lana. One was a sled which she barely regarded, but the second was something surprising.
"Ice skates," he said. "The lake's frozen over. We can go out on it."
His mother smiled. "Oh, it's been ages since we've been. You used to enjoy it so much as a child, Mason. Hadn't you?"
Rather than answer, Mason told his sister. "How about we go skating after lunch?"
Lana's scowl never faded. "But I can't skate." Her body sagged as she sighed. "Yet another thing to learn." She set her blue eyes on me and asked, "Governess, will you teach me?"
My lips parted but words couldn't come out.
Finally, I confessed, "I'm sorry, darling. I've...I've never been."
A collective silence fell over the room and I scanned their stunned faces, wondering what I'd said to upset everyone so.
Mason's eyes were the widest, staring at me for the first time in months. "You cannot skate? There's something, something on earth you cannot do?"
I didn't take kindly to his mocking. In fact, the box by my foot that was meant for him now felt in need of a trip to the fire.
Instead of answering, I allowed my gaze to drift to the candles on the large tree on my right.
Mason said nothing. I wasn't sure why until Lana snatched up the box beside me and handed it to her brother.
"Here's your gift, Mason," the little traitor said.
Honestly, I'd have to educate this child on being loyal to her fellow woman.
Mason wasn't the only one curious about my gift. His parents leaned over from their chairs to peer within.
My face warmed when Mason held up the handkerchief. "Um...thank you."
I resolved to ignore his disappointment, but my turncoat student explained, "Do you know why she embroidered a fox on it?"
Displeased, Mason asked her, "And why is that?"
"Well, you've been so cross about the fox hunts. This way, you'll never return home without a fox again!"
My face warmed, becoming even hotter at the quiet.
Finally, Lana broke the silence and asked, "What about the governess's gift?"
Her parents cleared their throats.
They hadn't forgotten me, that much I knew for the duke stood and returned with a coin pouch.
"A small bonus. I think you'll be pleased."
I wasn't. In fact, I became so emotional at first that I could not reach for it.
My hand gripped it eventually and I let it fall at my foot but not in a rude way for them to think I was ungrateful. Last year when I'd received this, I was satisfied. I was still new to the household and they had no way of knowing what I'd fancy. This year...this year brought everything into perspective.
The butler came with tea and coffee after that and I set my eyes on the fire as the family went to eat their biscuits.
In the study, I dropped the coin purse on the desk and stared out at Mason teaching Lana how to skate.
After a moment, even the duke and duchess joined them and they enjoyed their time together.
The biting cold wasn't lovely to watch from this distance but I suspected Lana received her biggest present by having all of them in one area, romping together.
My money still rested on that desk the next day. I was pleased to see that not only had Lana gone off to visit Beatrice with her gift as well as mine now with the duke and duchess's names firmly on the card, but her parents decided to visit the theater as well. It was just me here...with my money.
I turned to regard it with a sigh.
Why was I so upset about it? It had been what I wanted. Work was for profit, was it not?
The front door opened and a chill seeped into my spine. Nearly all the staff were home for the holidays.
I'd been instructed to stay here instead of going with Lana. It was only me in this house.
A quick scan of the room yielded no weapon, so I picked up the nearest vase and waited in the path of the door.
It opened and I swung.
"Ow."
My eyes were shut so tightly that I didn't know where I connected.
The voice I knew and I opened my left eye then my right to find Mason holding the base of the vase, despite having cried out.
"I thought that perhaps if you thought I was injured, you wouldn't swing a second time."
I let go and it fell on his foot.