After Tayler left my room for his date with Jade I read part of that book on Buddhism, the specific part on meditation and introspection.

Then I practiced it…

The book said not to expect introspection immediately, and I don't think I did find that right out of the gate, but I did personally find the meditation extremely helpful, even the short time I did with Tay was… it was like, wow, it felt like my mind had been 'cleaned,' in a wholesome way.

Like how you feel better after taking a nice, long bath, and how it feels nice to be clean afterwards, but for my brain. It felt like I was closer to something that was plain untouchable before, but I didn't know what.

So I did it again, but nothing came that time. Later, when I was sent to my room for the Priestess Scarlet to have some privacy with Tay and Jade, I did it again.

And again the next day…

I started doing it regularly, twice a day, and went back to practicing kendo everyday too.

Greg acted like nothing had happened, and that was all for the best.

I started to meditate longer and longer each time…

A few days after that, I was reading the rest of the book in my room, when Jade knocked and came in.

"Remember how on that day when I picked you up at the dojo you could seem to feel my emotions?"

"Yeah…"

How could I forget? I bookmarked my page, putting the book aside.

"Well, I've been practicing how to use it on Tayler, as a test of sorts, and I think I can help your meditations you've been doing."

"...What'll happen, exactly?"

"I put my hands on your bare back, and then you meditate on your feelings. Tayler said it helps a lot with all sorts of things."

That's how it started, and it really was that simple for me. Jade could only keep it up for so long before she got tired, though.

I got returns immediately, it was like all the bad things in my head were being rewritten over, like I was a computer being formatted.

It was around 9:00 PM. I was tired, but not tired enough, and decided to meditate, mostly trying to get my head clean and out of the proverbial gutters.

Thoughts came into my head, and I acknowledged them. They were things like…

Love, and connection.

I wanted someone's touch.

I hadn't been honest with myself, nor with my girlfriend then, had I?

What I say in my head is that I like her, but I'm just afraid to say 'I love.'

I'm scared to make a meaningful connection. Nothing had really happened in my relationship, even though I did love her from afar for years.

Was I scared of death, really? Or something worse than death?

No, at one time I wanted to die, I'm scared of letting go, it's just like that book said, I was attached to material things.

I wasn't even attached to life, there was nothing in my life to be attached to…

I opened my eyes, tears streamed down my face. I wiped them away. I was smiling... These were tears of joy.

I picked up my phone and called Jaz. I'd only texted her before this, hopefully she picked up…

Riinnng—

"Hi, hello!" She answered happily.

"Hey, Jaz. I was hoping we could talk. It's important."

"Oh—are you breaking up with me...?"

"No! If anything, after I'm done talking you might want to break up with me…"

"I doubt that," she giggled. "How about this, if it's so important, do you want to meet up? We don't live too far away from each other, so it should be safe."

"I'd love that! The park with the baseball field is about halfway, right?"

"Yeah, that's where I was thinking. I don't know about you, but I've gotta sneak out, myself."

"Uh… I could probably just tell them, but that wouldn't be very fun, would it?"

She snickered at me. "I'll see you in maybe 15 minutes, okay?"

"Alright, peace!"

Beeplep.

I rushed like I had a demon after me, heading to the park. I left a note behind in my room because who knows what'll happen as a girl. It's not like I had a weapon with me to defend myself with.

I was all bundled up in my perka. It was a cold one tonight. but I had to zip down the fluffy jacket because I got too hot from rushing here.

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I spotted Jaz walking down the long hill leading to the jungle gym and started towards her.

I got to the jungle gym first, and looked around for what there even was here… I hadn't been here many times, but never to the swings and slides for kids…

Ah—a swing. I sat down and started kicking while I waited.

Jaz waved at me in the dark.

"Hey, Jaz. This is actually kinda fun!"

She gave me a hearty laugh, then said, "I got an idea, stop for me."

I put my feet to the ground and came to a stop.

With a little trouble and cute clumsiness, she put her legs on either side of mine and sat in my lap…

I blushed.

Hard.

How intimate! How romantic!

It makes my heart flutter just thinking back to it…

She was right in my face, then put her forehead to mine. Gazing into my eyes intently, she whispered, "what did you want to talk about?"

I kissed her, then she kissed me.

"I love you," I admitted, finally. "I think I've loved you for a long time, and I was scared to admit it. I want to touch you, and I want you to touch me."

She hugged me as I held the chains to the swing.

For once, it felt good and right.

She slipped a hand up my shirt, trailing up my stomach, they were so cold that I gasped.

"Do you have a scar?" She made a face, pulling back. "What from?"

I told her my turbulent supernatural fueled past summer, into this school year. She knew about my abusive parents, but not much else.

"Wow, that sounds scary…!" She said in a mock yell, while squeezing my boob through my bra.

"Could you not say that while honking me… there's not much to squeeze, anyways."

"I like your petite body, I wish I was your size, it's really cute."

"Funny, I'd say the same thing about you, I wish I was a little bigger."

I ran a hand up her back, warming it up before I finally got to feel her... She didn't gasp like me.

"Isn't it cold?" I asked.

"No, your touch will always feel warm…"

"Super cheesy!"

We both laughed, red in the face at our newfound touch and openness…

I felt a relief I’d never had before, I felt something special between us.

"Do you want to head to my house? We'll have to sneak in through my window, but it's pretty low so it's easy?" I proposed the idea.

And touched her breasts, kissing her hard.

She moaned. I made her moan!

She pulled back and nodded her head, trying not to fall down as she got up and off.

We walked hand in hand quietly back to my house, back to where my new family lived…

- - - -

"Is that puppy… floating?" Jaz asked once we were through my window.

There was definitely a floating puppy in my room. Tayler deemed that he was reformed, and wouldn't molest anyone. Not that we ever saw him do it in the first place, that was just his reputation from the previous owner.

"Oh… yeah, I forgot to tell you, huh? That's Pi, he's a shapeshifting octopus! Look at this: Pi, Roll Out!"

The octopus stretched and turned a few different hues before becoming a Transformer (Optimus Prime, I think?), still about the size of a puppy, and still floating around in midair.

"Tayler taught him tricks. Pi, play dead!"

The Autobot acted like it got shot through the chest and fell on its back before turning back into a white, fluffy wolf puppy again, wagging it's tail with its tongue stuck out.

"He sleeps with me, but I'll send him out, uh—for this… you know what I mean." I scratched the back of my head.

I opened my door and snapped my fingers, pointing out the door. The puppy simulated it's best doggy paddle—Tayler taught it how to do that, too.

When we first got him he would seem to move without physically moving it’s body, it was sort of nightmarish.

I closed the door. There was no lock or I'd have locked it, but I doubt they would come in, anyways.

I turned to Jaz, she was sitting on my bed and fidgeting.

"There's something you need to see first," I said.

I took off my shirt, revealing my scars, there were no more bandages left on my body by this time. I was wearing a bra today, luckily, it was the only thing keeping my upper body warm.

"Wow… you said you can't feel pain? Can you feel… anything?"

"Yeah, like when I'm out of breath… and pleasure."

"...That's so cool!"

"Huh? What?" I tilted my head.

"It's pretty badass, really," she nodded her head a few times slowly, looking impressed, to really confirm it was true.

"But I'll have these scars forever," I pouted.

"That's fine, I'll love you forever."

I leap the short distance to her on the bed, hugging her.

"I'm sorry," she said.

I was on top of her, basically pinning her down. I thought, I liked this view, I could get use to this.

"I'm not very elegant with my words… someone else might think it's a big deal and have something beautiful to say, but I don't."

"What you said was plenty beautiful enough, just like you are."

I felt up her body, her smooth skin was like fire on my hands, and she took off my bra.

- - - -

I saw my wedding.

I was standing at the end under a gate of flowers and she, Jaz, was walking down the aisle, in a white wedding dress that made her breasts stand out, her face under a veil.

My heart was racing in the dream, it felt so real. I didn't know what to do with my hands, I was so nervous!

I looked around… we were definitely in a church, packed with people witnessing this special moment.

She lifted her long dress and carefully walked up the few steps left to me…

She lifted her veil.

It was my mother underneath, with a twisted and distorted face.

I felt a sharp pain in my stomach.

Huff… huff…

I was awake, in my room and not at church with a stab wound. I hadn't felt pain in so long… but I guess I still could in my dreams.

I felt someone's touch around me and turned to look… I completely forgot that Jaz had slept over, she had an arm around me, currently stirring from sleep.

She rubbed her eyes, it was so cute… I looked at my alarm clock on the nightstand to my otherside. It was 8:00 AM.

Oh shit, Jade would be here any minute to help me meditate!

"Jaz, you gotta get out of here…!"

A knock at the door, I saw the handle turn.

It was Tayler. He was holding a plate and the smell of bacon hit my nose.

"Oh," he said. "I should be mad, right?" He seemed to be lost in thought.

"I can explain—!!"

"No… you really can't. Well, why don't we overlook it this time. Just… tell me next time, I mean at least ask. I would've said yes. Would you like breakfast, Jaz?"

I looked at Jaz, but she was trying to hide under the covers. I poked her.

A muffled but sufficiently loud and embarrassed sound of: "Yes, I'd love to," came from under my blanket.

Tayler handed me the plate, saying, "I'll get another for her."

He closed the door on the way out.

We scrambled to get fully dressed… What a morning already!

"Breakfast in bed with my girlfriend…" I said under my breath, still red in the face from being caught.

I looked at Jaz as we dressed.

"Woah!"

Her face was like a piece of red hot lava, literally glowing red with embarrassment.

"I didn't even know it was possible to get so embarrassed!"

"You're the weird one for not!" She shot back.

We laughed at each other with a hint of awkwardness hanging in the air.