“Oh, thank goodness!” Leira said, cupping her face with her hands. “I looked all over for you. I thought perhaps you’d forgotten me.”

“Heavens, no,” Adeline said. “We must’ve just missed each other. The dress looks even more stunning in the moonlight, darling.”

“My gratitude for its maker knows no bounds,” Leira said with a twirl.

“Let us walk,” Adeline said, offering an arm, which Leira took. They set out along the glittering marble path.

“So, you said you’ve traveled all around the World?” Adeline said. “How fascinating. Tell me, how does our humble Chateau Podexia compare?”

“It’s exquisite,” Leira said. “I’ve really enjoyed my time here. This estate is a marvel. I adore the gardens and the wonderful performers. The guests are, of course, of the highest class.”

“Good, good,” Adeline said. “I’m certain that Burgermeister Jaqlov and Lady Ophelia would be flattered by the praise of someone so well-traveled.”

“Oh, I simply must meet with him to offer my thanks and compliments,” Leira said. Maybe I should just kill him and see what happens? “Might you introduce me?”

Something flickered across Adeline’s otherwise placid expression. “I’m not- Lord Jaqlov is quite busy tonight, I’m sure. I’d rather not bother him with something small.”

The petals of the eyeflower swayed. “He’d be thrilled to see you, Adeline,” Leira said. She tightened her grip on the woman’s arm and halted in place. She whispered in the woman’s ear, “I really must insist.”

Little red spores sprinkled across Adeline’s face like freckles.

“Certainly, darling. Ophelia and I were old friends,” Adeline said, slurring her words.

“Good. Lead the way,” Leira said.

The older woman began licking her lips and exercising her jaw. “I’m so thirsty. It feels like I’ve licked sand.” She covered her mouth. “How embarrassing.”

“Don’t have any booze,” Leira said. “Drink juice or something.”

Adeline had been reaching for a wine-bearing waiter-robot. She looked dismayed but heeded Leira’s words.

Up ahead, some children played badminton. Leira steered the woman toward the play area, where another robot carried glasses of juice.

The moment she spotted the beverages, Adeline pulled away from Leira and sprinted to the robot.

She was on her third glass by the time Leira reached her. The lady was lucky she hadn’t worn white, because she’d spilled grape juice all down her front.

“Better?” Leira asked.

“Yes,” Adeline said, giggling.

“Bring me to Jaqlov,” Leira said.

“Of course,” Adeline said. They returned to the path which led to the manor’s front door. “Stondemaier is a very private man these days. To tell the truth, I’ve actually not seen him in, oh, three years. Perhaps the flower in your eye is exquisite enough that we might be admitted.”

“What about his son?” Leira asked.

“Ohohoho,” Adeline said, swaying her hips as she walked. “Lady Leira, do you intend to try your luck at becoming the, hehe, heiress of Chateau Podexia? It is the Silver Gala, after all.”

“Aye, something like that.”

“You’re beautiful enough,” Adeline said. She leaned in to whisper. “If I can be honest, though, you’re a bit crass.”

“Thank you,” Leira said.

“And if I can be more honest,” she continued, still whispering, “Ansoir is not exactly what I’d call a catch. Perhaps, if you’ve a high tolerance for irritation, the rewards might be worth it. But I recommend searching for true love, as I’ve found with my sweetheart. Where is that silly man?” She stumbled as she looked around.

The ground shook. They’d come to the fountain where stood the giant Talus. It was the same one. Leira recognized the litter atop its shoulders. The thing danced around the fountain, giving some sort of performance.

The curtains of the litter were thrown open.

That little shit. Ansoir Jaqlov appeared, yelling as he sprayed a bottle of champagne over the onlookers.

“Speak of the devil,” Adeline said, clapping her stupid hands.

“You gave me an idea,” Leira said. “Go away, Adeline. I don’t need you anymore.”

Leaving the woman dumbstruck, Leira approached the gaggle that surrounded the Talus. Yeah, this’ll work. She suspected she could enthrall this Ansoir idiot without her spores.

Leira pushed her way through the crowd and went right up to the Talus. Her head was level with its hip. She began to climb the rungs that went up the Talus’s body. Ansoir, smug as could be, reached down to pull Leira up into the litter.

She straightened and gave him her most alluring smile. “It’s a sin to waste such excellent champagne, my lord.”

“How presumptuous you are!” he said, laughing as he looked her up and down.

Ansoir wore a completely silver tuxedo. It looked like he was wrapped up in tinfoil. Draped over his huge blond afro was an ornate veil made of silver beads and gemstones.

Leira towered over his actual head—and had to stoop to fit inside the litter—but the top of the afro matched her height. She inched closer and whispered in Ansoir’s ear, “I love your hair ornaments.”

He was stinking drunk. His rosy cheeks turned beet red. Leira grabbed his hand and raised it above their heads. Ansoir regained himself and yelled incoherently while pumping their joined fists.

Ansoir grabbed another bottle of champagne from the bucket beside his chair and tossed it into the crowd below.

No one caught it, of course—it was a heavy, dangerous object, so they got out of the way. The bottle shattered with a spray of gold.

Ansoir turned to Leira and set his jaw, so it stuck out. “I waste nothing, woman. I have everything.” He grabbed another bottle and threw that one, too.

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Ugh. Leira rubbed the corner of her eye with her knuckle. “That’s so luxurious, my lord. My name is Lady Leira, and it’s my pleasure to meet you.”

He held out his hand for Leira to kiss. She did, and then she said, “I hoped we might take a ride together on this magnificent walking rock.”

Ansoir’s eyes bugged out. “Of course. That can be arranged. This is my personal Talus. His name is Brock. Impressive, eh?”

Leira tittered in the manner of Adeline and wished she could slap herself. “Is there any champagne left? Shall we enjoy a glass while you treat me to a tour of the estate?”

“There’s always champagne,” Ansoir slurred. He flopped down in his chair and popped the cork on another bottle, spilling the foamy liquid all over his lap.

Leira took the seat beside him, thankful that an armrest divided the two chairs. If this encounter ended without her gouging Ansoir’s eyes out with her thumbs, she’d consider it a great success.

“Get moving, Brock, you goddamn oaf!” Ansoir screeched. “Weren’t you listening? Bring us around the manor.” He turned to Leira and sighed. “The problem with Taluses is that you cannot whip them.”

Brock moved, the boulders spinning and clattering. The air around the Talus had a slight chill because of the Kaia burning in its engine.

“I’ve never seen such a thing,” Leira said, leaning out to better examine the Talus’s mechanisms.

“My father’s work,” Ansoir said. “He whispers to rocks or some such nonsense.”

Leira choked on her champagne. “Is Lord Stondemaier a Hallow?”

“Myes, myes,” Ansoir droned. “His Invoke is silly and useless, I always say.” He chortled. “There are Hallows who fly and spit fire, and he speaks to rocks so that he can carve them better. Laughable.”

Shit. “Hm. Do you guys have an army of these Taluses?”

“That’s just it!” Ansoir said, jumping to his feet and nearly toppling out of the litter. “He won’t make them fight. We could conquer the entire Mikaran continent, but he insists stone is patif– pacifit– that it doesn’t want to fight! My father is soft and weak.” He stuck his finger in Leira’s face. “His power doesn’t even bring the stone to life. It only awakens a sentience. That’s why the Taluses and the statues need Kaia engines—they can’t move on their own. My father’s Invoke is what allows them to understand commands, but he only grants them minds with which they can do nothing. Kaia is the true power!”

Leira swatted his hand out of her face. “Can they talk?”

Ansoir laughed and fell back into his seat. “No, only to him. But it’s funny you ask. When I was a child, I always begged my father to teach me to speak to them. I wanted to be fr- Well, they’re nothing more than durable slaves.” He stomped his foot on the floor of the litter, which was the top of Brock’s head. “Hurry, you worthless ball of compressed sand. You’re embarrassing yourself in front of this gorgeous woman. I’ll have you ground down.”

“It’s okay,” Leira said. “This is lovely.” She fluttered her one eye over the rim of her champagne glass.

They moved along the front of the manor, past the half of the building that was just a towering chunk of raw marble.

“No, woman. You must know better than that. Slaves can never be given a drop of leniency.”

“Oh!” Leira said. “Speaking of slaves, that reminds me. This is a trifle embarrassing. But one of mine was arrested at the casino. I gleaned he was sent to the Kaia mines?”

“Of course he was,” Ansoir said, waving an easy hand. “Rest assured, he’ll find nothing but pain and death.”

“I am glad,” Leira said. “But I’m bitter that I did not get to punish him with my own hand, nor see it with my own eye. Might we be able to visit the mines so I can look upon the worthless wretch’s agony?” She tittered. “I don’t know why I even ask like that; they are your mines after all.”

“Yes, anything is possible at my behest,” Ansoir said.

“Great, let’s go now.”

Ansoir glanced at her, lip curled in a sneer. “Tomorrow, perhaps, if I feel like it. There’s a gala on tonight, if you haven’t noticed. I won’t waste my evening looking at a pile of stinking slaves.”

“Tomorrow would be perfect,” Leira said. “Let’s call it a date.”

“Ohoho, pretum- presumptuous indeed.”

Nice. This had already proven worthwhile. Worst case, she’d booked herself entry to the mines. But she wanted more. Ansoir was so stupid that it’d be wasteful not to exploit him further.

The Talus rounded a corner to reveal the back of the estate. The lawn gave way to a massive, tiered quarry which had been excavated downward through the canyon wall.

But that was hardly the impressive part. Leira ‘oohed’ and ‘aahed’ and she wasn’t faking it.

The structure resembled an amphitheater. Arranged throughout were dozens of incredible statues depicting animals, heroic people, monsters, ancient religious idolatry. There was a giraffe, and a three-headed elephant, a golden man with a beard of serpents, a skeleton.

Like a painting made real.

“My father’s pride and joy,” Ansoir mumbled. “An utter waste of time.” He refilled their glasses of champagne.

Brock continued on. They passed by a big metal warehouse that stood off to the side.

“What’s in there?” Leira asked.

“That’s my father’s workshop. Abandoned, of course. He doesn’t even work on his sculptures anymore, further proof that it was all a waste of time. Even the manor is half-finished, for god’s sake.”

Leira gasped. “Why?”

“He doesn’t-” Ansoir chewed on the inside of his cheek. “He spends all his time with… my mother. She’s sick. The only work that gets done anymore is in the Kaia mines. Which is the most important thing, yes, but my father let’s Sheriff Jackson oversee the whole operation.”

“Mm,” Leira said as she leaned out to get a better look at the inside of the amphitheater. “It’s amazing.”

“Halt, Brock!” Ansoir shouted. “Turn around.”

“What? Can’t we go closer?” Leira said.

“No,” Ansoir said. He stomped on Brock’s head. “I’m done with this. Bring us back to the party.”

Brock rotated in place and went back toward the front of the manor.

Uh-oh. Leira leaned closer to Ansoir and said, “They are just rocks, after all. Rather drab, I’d say.” She twirled a lock of hair around her finger.

“Nothing but deranged idiocy,” Ansoir spat. He clenched his jaw, but it still quivered.

How interesting.

Leira tittered and Ansoir whipped his head around at her laughter, bejeweled afro bouncing, face warped in fury.

“I underestimated you, my lord,” she said. “I thought I pursued the hand of a charming playboy—that’s your reputation around town. But it’s plain to see that the future of Chateau Podexia rests squarely upon your shoulders. It must be such a burden.”

“Oh. Yes. Everything will be mine.”

“And all this Kaia,” Leira said on a heavy breath. “You must be one of the most powerful men in the World.” That was far as hell from true. This bumfuck operation was just a leaky pipe. But people were most vulnerable in their delusions.

“Kaia is power,” Ansoir said, making his voice gravelly.

Leira glanced away so that she could roll her eyes. She almost felt bad for this asshole. He never had a chance at being anything besides a raging piece of shit.

But that was ideal for her purpose here. “If your father is derelict, why hasn’t he put you in charge? He could enjoy retirement while Podexia thrives under your control, my lord.”

“I ask myself that constantly,” Ansoir slurred.

“It must be frustrating,” she said softly, “knowing you’d be such a strong leader.”

“Yes, it is,” Ansoir growled.

“More champagne?” Leira asked. Drunk men are such idiots.

“More champagne!” Ansoir uncorked a new bottle and attempted to refill their glasses, but spilled half of it on their shoes. He was so shitfaced that Leira was impressed he hadn’t passed out.

Perfect. All that liquid courage.

The little lord knocked the two glasses over with his arm and passed Leira an entire bottle.

“Don’t mind if I do,” she said. She took a few swigs. It was damn fine champagne. Her flower could cleanse the alcohol from her body if she needed to be sober, so she could drink as much as she wanted.

Ansoir popped a bottle for himself and guzzled half of it.

“Have you asked him about it?” Leira said.

“Asked what?” Ansoir said, wiping his mouth.

“Asked your father about making you Burgermeister.”

“Yes, of course. Well, no, not ezact– exactly. But you know, perhaps I should. Perhaps I will! He’s an old man. He should enjoy his remaining days. And Jackson, that fucking bastard.” His head bobbled with the force of his rambling. “I’ll have him put to death when I’m Burgermeister. Fucking dirty, upstart, pauper thinks he can rule just because he’s a Hallow.

“And you know what? Frankly, I’m disgusted that my father has not already made me Burgermeister himself. I should be Burgermeister, and everyone knows it!”

“I wonder if he thinks you’re immature,” Leira said. “Perhaps if you showed him you’re ready to settle down, he’d see you for the lord you are. I should come with you. You can tell him I’m your bride-to-be.”

“Ladyyyy Leira,” Ansoir said, swaying as he leaned closer to her. “You’re smart for a woman. That is a brilliant idea.”

Only through tremendous strength of will did Leira refrain from wrinkling her nose at his rancid breath.

“It’s only appropriate that I meet your father after all, since I do intend to woo his heir.”

“Brock! Take us to my father’s throne room!”

So easy.

The Talus changed direction again and began rolling toward a garage-style entrance in the unfinished half of the manor.

***

Clink, clink…