LIST-EN-ING
What does this word mean to you?
In my mind, the word “listening” accounts for only 50% of an interplay. Instead, I’ll use the word digesting as I think it holds more intent and enthusiasm for a meaningful exchange. “Digesting” sounds a little gross but the word has such depth in relation to language as the “nutrients” a word contains can be broken down by “mental enzymes” to extract its core value - do you think words should hold equal significance to the food we eat? For ears are the gateway to nourishment of knowledge? Lemme know.
Envision a world where each word has its own “list of contents”, highlighting its overall calories, proteins, carbohydrates, health star rating and daily intake. I’d assume “fuck” would have a 5/5 health star rating as its emotional unloading power is just to good to resist.
In the way of the “metabolism”, some people may digest emotive language - faster, more rationally, perhaps even for others sake (empathy), whilst some may not have the adequate enzymes to recognize and break down it sufficiently, resulting in perceived superficial behaviour. Science and philosophy happily marry the antecedent for this, based on what you were exposed to as a child, or more commonly termed, “the first 1000 days of development”.
I want you to imagine something, have you the time and effort? Let’s dive in.
Your on a long haul flight, your belly’s gurgling with acid reflux from the questionable beef casserole, and your teeth have that fluffy layer of grime you wish you could lean over the snoring old man to scrub the shit out of with your toothbrush from the overhead locker. A man beside wakes from slumber and shows the most underrated social cue for a low key conversation; the blowing of the lips, a large sigh and a furious rubbing of the hands together.
Now, at the same time as this cue fills the air, a switch in your cute little sleepy brain restarts every sensory encounter you’re ever had, let’s call this the “novelty switch” - as If all experiences were now completely brand new. (Sappose you still understand the English language for arguments sake)
You turn slowly from the shoulders, a gentle pivet more like, almost robotic, with eyes like puppies, lit with boundless authenticity.
“Nice view out there huh, this is my favourite time of flight” he gently hums under his husky American tone.
Nice. View. Out. Their. Huh.
Take a moment to repeat that sentence over in your mind, do it enough times to make a slight jingle out of it, change its speed and tone of delivery as it parts your minds lips, or allow your minds tongue to weave and wash over every syllables defining features.
N-i-c-e
NNNNN… sorry I’m getting carried away here but I hope you’ve had a bit of a linguistic endeavour.
As You encounter these strange fluctuations of sound, the ownership of words become mutual, a partnership If you will, it’s intent transparent and bound together like Siamese twins. Patient, gentle and with full sensory awareness, you Elegantly bounce-over each emotionally charged word or sentence with utmost delicacy, almost as If your onboard his train of thought, right beside him on the passenger seat, happily swinging your little legs with your hands poignantly tucked under your butt like a curiously hungry child on “bring your son to work day” .
As more words swarm in varying pitch length and softly caress the fine hairs in your ear canal, you must pause to resonate. In other words, take a bite out of that sentence, chew it slowly, what mental taste buds light up? explore it just like our previous linguistic endeavour.
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Here’s a new analogy for ya, suppose we merge the neuroscience world, the archaic game of pin ball and the levels of emotional charge to a word, phrase or sentence. For some, who by a genetic lottery or had an empathetic upbringing, may launch the “pinball” and have precise technique to hit and ping around every surface of the machine, pulling levers, crashing off shit and so on, complete rip, shit and bust and my grandfather used to describe me. Under this humans skull during an emotionally charged conversation with someone, like, “today has been one of the toughest days of the week but I don’t know why” - these sounds, charged with a rich content list of emotional ingredients, flow through the ears and “ping off” many lobes of activity within the brain, resonating here, relating there, empathizing here, identifying practical solutions there, and so forth until this individual is so lit up cognitively that they “jump aboard their train of thought and take the wheel” and tune to that persons needs so precisely that it’s almost as if two brains combine to form a supercomputer of complex processing.
“Where are you heading to after we land?”
Where. Are. You. Heading. To. After. We. Land
Wh, wh, wh …. Now that’s a new sound, have a play with it. How ancient its mechanics, harnessing wind power and lip power to give birth to words to express meaning, how creative we are! I feel like avatar the last air-bender.
Now its time in this social exchange where you must reply, considering this is your first encounter with digesting sounds into meaning. We must now filter that. At the same time your ears are marinating and climaxing with vibratory pleasure, the sounds tumble and move downstream to the back of your cute little brain before conquesting through various terrains and territory towards the frontal control centre - the prefrontal cortex - where the steering wheel for ‘final call’ decision making happens.
You can align this side by side with Frodo Baggins journey in the Lord of the Rings - The Ring, holding deep sentimental meaning, like the sounds of the man’s words in our story, travel through richly cultural and unique lands, teaming with personality, defining landscapes and creatures, much the same as the lobes of our brain, Before destiny awaits young Frodo at the gates of Mordor where information comes to its final destination.
To cut a short story long…
Ultimately, the reason for my somewhat excessive inquiry into listening, or rather, digesting, was entirely fueled by the next question this man posed to me. For once, my mind stood still in its tracks, not thinking of my next move on the “social chess board”, I pondered Patiently at a crossroads of cognition, stimulated so overwhelmingly by curiosity it reminded me of that forever Lasting flame of wonder kids have within that Is dearly embedded within my teaching philosophy:
He said:
Do you think love is an emotion we feel, or a skill we learn?
So now sounds have filtered up and down your brain, tickling past emotional centres, memory centres, reasoning centres, “is this like allgood to say” centres and so forth until your left with a final product that you subconscious is happy with, hopefully intertwined with spices of humour and facial muscularture that reflects your words meanings.
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My thinking is optimistic, everyone has has those “pinball moments” in conversation and have become successful listeners and “digesters” of nutrient dense, emotionally charged words, phrases or sentences. I will leave you with a series of questions that you may or may not resonate with but I challenge you to ponder, adjust and make it your own for next time your with someone, you may light them up like a raging pitbull!
Questions:
⁃Is there a limit to how deep words can go? If so what is that limit?
⁃If you had a perfect day, how would it start and end? Details and fanatical thinking are welcomed.
⁃are sex and love part of the same pie?
⁃What’s the point in art?
⁃what’s the point in music?
maybe We should rephrase the “act” to the “art” of listening. As I write this, half way across the pacific 30,000 feet above Hawaii, two thoughts came to the forefront in search of a swift decision - both coming with its own baggage as my high school economics teacher would call, “opportunity costs”, shall I plug my headphones in and stare into the space of my minds eye, or shall I indulge in the art listening?
I’ll let you decide.