"I thought this was your friend," Gloria said regarding uncle Rodney. "I did find it weird that he calls himself 'uncle', but I thought this was another one of these new slangs you kids use."

Thaught was startled by the unexpected news and froze for a second. Who was this man? What was he doing here? Why is he wasting the cake?

'Uncle' Rodney found this opportunity to break free and forcefully throw a piece of cake on Thaught's face, making her lose her footing, barely managing to get her hand on the kitchen counter to hold her from falling down.

She licked a bit of the cake that landed on her lips. "Milk chocolate... orange... and sweat," she said. She stood up and wiped the rest of the cake off her face with her jacket, throwing it on the floor. "Just like I remembered it."

She hauled off, using the cake that was on the ground to gain extra momentum, and gave Rodney a nice, hearty punch to the jaw with her right arm.

He would have fallen on the ground if it was not for a couple of guests who were standing behind him, acting as ring ropes.

"Why are you doing this?" Thaught asked. "What do you want? Who are you?"

"You know," Rodney replied. "I was really going to answer your question, but you kept going and now I'm feeling overwhelmed."

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry," Thaught said.

"Apologies don't make my mind calm down," Rodney growled. "I just want people to eat the cake!"

"That's what I want too!"

"Stop lying!" yelled Rodney. "I know everything!"

"Everything?" Thaught repeated.

"Everything!"

"So you do know everything"

"I happen to know every. Single. Thing"

"You knew I have been secretly taking money from my mom's bank account and putting it into Swiss chocolate stocks to make sure they never stop producing them?"

"Almost everything!" Rodney corrected himself. "I know about Caterpillar! I know about your mission! I know why the chicken crossed the road! And, most importantly, I know I will not let you change the past!"

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"Shhh!" Thaught covered Rodney's mouth with her left palm while she made the quiet sign with her right. She let him go after a couple of seconds.

"What? Are you afraid I am going to reveal your devious plan to your whole family?" Rodney said.

"No, just don't call him Caterpillar, it's not nice — his name is Gilbert."

"I don't care!" He screamed. "What I care about is stopping you from stopping them!"

Rodney lifted his fists in front of his face, ready to take this fight seriously. He and Thaught slowly approached each other and started exchanging blows. They were both so inexperienced in fighting that they didn't even bother trying to evade each other's blows. It was basically a competition about who can take the most amount of punches without collapsing.

Rodney's left straight was answered by Thaught's right hook, which was answered by another left straight by Rodney, to which Thaught responded with another right hook. It looked almost as if two children were trying to figure out the controls of the new fighting game their mom bought them for Christmas.

The crowd had a mixed response to this. Some people loved it, most people hated it, and then there was Gloria Senior, the Tiebreaker, standing in the corner, receiving bets about who is going to win. She could not be bothered to make forecasts and calculate percentages though, so they stuck with the good ol’ 'winner takes loser's money' format.

Thaught and Rodney kept going back and forth until some guests attempted to leave. Rodney, with all this adrenaline being pumped through his veins, noticed it immediately, ran away from Thaught and straight to the cake. He grabbed another handful which he threw, barely missing the first guest who was walking towards the door.

"You cannot possibly leave without trying out the cake — that would be so rude," he said before adding: "This was a warning shot. The next one won't miss." But the guest ignored him and left anyway.

There are no real rules in street fighting, which let Thaught capitalize on Rodney's opening. He gave him two hooks, one plus one free, which is something you are more than happy to get at your local grocery store, but not in a fight.

This knocked Rodney back, landing again on the ring-rope guys, who were starting to get quite annoyed as they had a serious conversation regarding furries and their importance in today's society, which Rodney kept interrupting.

Rodney got up and politely apologized, dusting off the two gentlemen. He then turned around, ready to end this fight once and for all. He would defeat Thaught and celebrate with everyone by eating cake. Nobody knows why he thought that beating Thaught, the person whose success they were all here to celebrate, would make him more likeable, but we can safely assume that the plethora of hooks his face received played at least a slight part.

He was ready for his final move. He charged towards Thaught and dived, trying to hit her waist in a way that would make his high school football teacher shed tears of pride.

While this is a great move when it comes to football, it is one of the absolute worst things you can do in a street fight, as he left himself completely vulnerable to a potential knee to the face by Thaught.

Lucky for him, Thaught was just as bad at fighting as he was, so zero knees touched Rodney's face that day. But after what happened, he would probably wish he took the knee to the face instead.