Ada was developing a headache.
In her short life, she had had two headaches before.
Once when the goblin slayer had killed her brother, and one when she had started a civil war in the Promise and made an enemy out of her mother.
Though that last one could be chalked up to dehydration.
With the third headache, the pattern became clear. Stress causes headaches.
And having to deal with the young vampire count was the third most stressful thing that had even happened to her.
"Do not touch zhese, zhese are arcane tomes beyond your primitive comprehension. Carry zhe box upstairs, and do not scratch it zhis time."
Noss Fleder had laid claim to an entire section of the basement. He had made them raise the ceiling using their precious few spellpaper strips and carve out an additional cove in the freshly exposed wall.
The alcove was his second story, where he wanted to rest. The ground floor was a living space and study, already filling up with bookshelves and sculpting tools.
"Please, do your best not to ruin it." The vampire pleaded, as if had been extraordinarily patient with them.
Ada and Constantine were dragging his coffin up a makeshift ramp from debris and gravel. Normal goblins weren't strong enough to move the heavy object, so the ruling family themselves had been recruited.
Constantine was frowning so hard his eyebrows met. And Ada wasn't far from look as silly. "I'm not your flunky, do it yourself." She grunted.
"How dare you, I am of noble birth. Be honored zhat I allow you in my private quarters."
Ada let the heavy object go, it slid down the steep incline, taking Constantine with him.
"I'm not honored. Honor is a scam humans play on humans to get them to kill themselves," she said, nearly quoting her father exactly.
The boy took his cape and spread it wide. "Do not test me, subhuman. I vould be a monstrous error to antagonize a pureblood vampire count."
She slid down the hill and got close to him. "You better be nice to us, cause we don't let everybody that lives her do whatever they want you know. If you attack me now-"
"SILENCE! You will activate it." The vampire roared dramatically.
"Oh." The words were so unexpected she almost apologized. "...activate what?"
"If you enrage me, it will only serve to evoke... my bloodrise form."
"What's your bloodrise form?" Constantine asked, "is it nearby somewhere?"
Noss scoffed, "it is the primary ability of any vampire. My vampiric blood will heat up and boil, great wings will grow from my back, and my fangs will grow into mighty swords. It is the form in which vampires fight."
Constantine cocked his head. "...Would they fit in your mouth?"
"They wouldn't, would they?" Ada said, "and with great wings, you wouldn't be able to move. So..."
"You fools. My entire body would grow, vampire counts in bloodrise form have been known to obliterate castles."
"Well I'm not a castle." Ada said defiantly.
Noss shook his head, "you do not wish to content with me at my full power."
"Bring it- Constantine throw me my whip..."
He retrieved the weapon from the corner of the room.
She caught it and gave it a crack. "Bring it on."
"Ada."
Second stood in the entrance to the new room.
"Scratch wants you to tan the hides. You were supposed to do them this morning."
"I'm helping Noss," she said, gesturing towards her weapon.
"Bree is here. She can carry the box."
"Okay, I will. Right after-"
"Now, Ada."
"Ugh!" She punched her arms straight down and walked out.
Noss exhaled. "I'm grateful... zhat I don't have to kill you."
She gave him the rudest gesture Cobaline had taught her, which was to stretch out one's mouth with their hands and stick out their tongue.
"Are you... going to kill me?" Constantine asked.
"Do you want that?"
"No."
"Zhen I vill not. I am a generous lord."
-
The fracas in the basement had been defused, but the peace was short-lived.
Leading up to dinner time, Quiet was preparing his cooking.
They had gotten access to quite the variety of herbs and spices from Eston, and the little goblin had become fond of testing and experimenting with them.
He had created a little mise-en-place of ingredients for a heavily spliced breaded liver platter and was just heating up the oil when the scene was torn down by Noss.
"Out. Out vith it. Zhis is poison."
"Eh!" The goblin half-protested meekly.
"You know vhat zhis is?" The vampire held up a garlic braid. "Zhis vill inflict terrible agonies upon a vampire, I do not even vant it in zhe house."
He went to the window to throw it out, but it was only early in the fall and there were still rays of sunshine peering in at that hour.
He nearly screamed. "Agh. And properly fasten zhe curtains. I am burned by zhe light, you know!?"
"Yoo-no-hoo-nose." Felix jumped in through the window, flapping the curtain and making the vampire jump back. "Are you fighting?"
"Zhis creature brings into zhis home, terrible poisons. I vant him removed."
Felix curled his eyebrows and took the garlic from him. "I don't think you can remove Quiet. Everybody loves quiet... Hey, this isn't poison, it's garlic. It's for in the food, right Quiet."
Quiet nodded.
"Garlic vill kill me. A vampire is a powerful being, but ve must control our environment. Take zhis table."
"Zhe ta- I mean the table?"
"Yes. Oak wood. If it vere splintered and used to pierce my heart, vould die."
Felix nodded sagely, "mhm... that's true for goblins as well."
"I vant it removed."
"You vant- You want everything removed. The sunlight, the furniture... the food. Didn't you say you weren't going to eat our food?"
"I don't vant it near me, it could be used against me."
"Well just stay underground. Don't try to make this place like underground as well. I like sunlight!"
"You purport to give me orders?"
Felix leaned back, frustrated. His mother had made him promise not to start a fight like his sister had. "No..."
"Do not make me use my bloodrise form."
"I won't..."
"Good. Zhis table vill be removed. Now."
Noss flapped his cape and resolutely turned around.
Felix made a rude face, but quickly straightened it as the vampire looked back.
-
When dinner came, it was disappointing.
A goulash without pepper or garlic, served on top of two coffee tables and a footrest placed together.
The bat had his own seat at the so-called table, not eating, but observing the family.
"Papa." Ada hissed under her breath. "We have to kill him."
"I know there are security concerns. But what goes for the humans goes doubly for the lich, it's-"
"-not about spy stuff." She said, almost out loud, "he's just... bad."
Scratch raised an eyebrow. "I thought you were beyond this by now. Are you really letting your passions override your judgment again?"
"Yes, but this time I have to. Papa, he acts like we're outer colony ferals."
Felix had noticed what they were talking about and moved his chair next to them to participate in the conversation. "Yeah. We have to do away with everything, and if there's anything he doesn't like he says he'll use his bloodrise form to kill us. He's dangerous."
"You two straighten out and face your food. There's nothing we can lose from Noss being alive that's worse than what would happen if we kill him, so hush." He put a spoonful of goulash into his mouth.
As he had his mouth full, the vampire stood up on his chair and tapped a dessert spoon against a wine glass. "Ahem. Silence please. Zhank you. I vish to bring out a toast."
As he said it, a couple of the hobgoblins looked around expecting toast to be brought out.
But no bread came forward, and instead the boy continued to monologue.
"I suppose I must zhank you for taking me in and housing me, at my master's request."
Ada muttered something under her breath.
"Now, as part of your obligation toward me, I vould like to feed."
"Take whatever you'd like," Lydia said. She had regained some of her human dignity and sat poised and groomed at the head of the table. Ready to dispense her generosity as a host. "The food is free from your... problems."
"No. A vampire does not masticate on fibers and tissue, vhat I need is blood." He grabbed her wrist and pulled himself alongside it. "Only zhe blood of a beautiful and strong voman vill do."
As he began to sniff her neck, Lydia shot a concerned look at Scratch. He frowned but did not speak up.
"Do not vorry, I promise zhis vill be quite... pleasurable."
As he sunk his fangs into her neck, she let out a short gasp and then became flushed.
The vampire sucked in her blood and her muscles tensed, a stifled moan escaped her, and then a stronger one.
Scratch put down his spoon and rapped his fingers against the table in frustration.
The vampire locked eyes with him smugly, he caressed her gently as he continued sucking, and her sounds of ecstasy filled the room.
"Okay," said from the side of his mouth, "you can kill him. But make it look like an accident."
----------------------------------------
There were no accidents immediately forthcoming. The hobgoblins weren't exactly veterans in the field of covert assassination.
This novel's true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.
There were a few sudden cave-ins and clumsily placed garden tools in the vampire's path the following week, but he barely registered them as threats. His strength and speed was simply that superior.
"Zhis dungeon leave a lot to be desired," he told Scratch eventually, "zhe vaulting is unstable, and zhe guardians inexcusably disorganized. Ve must streamline zhe design."
"Watcha talking 'bout?" Scratch quickly lit up a bluegrass cigar.
"I am talking about fulfilling zhe purpose zhe ravenous lich has assigned to me. I have scouted your dungeon, and it follows zhe traditions of zhe maze, correct?"
You're looking to commune with me?
Keep an ear on this conversation, I want to know when he's lying.
"I asked you is zhat correct? You must answer."
"Sorry, I don't know what you're talking about. We're not following any traditions here, we're just making room as needed."
As long as you recognize that I am not your personal lie detector.
The vampire shrugged and shook his head, "by zhe dark lord, zhis is vorse zhan I thought. I suppose we must start at zhe very beginning. Follow me."
As they descended into the basement layer, a bookshelf tilted over and nearly crushed them. It had been moved onto uneven ground. But the vampire simply caught it and pushed it back.
"Disorganized." He told the goblin.
"I'll say." Scratch said annoyed, if that trap had worked it would have killed him too, or anybody else in the household.
-
Noss stopped in the middle of the basement to point at the different doorways. "A dungeon, with or without core, vill channel zhe flow of magic into concentrated streams. Diverting zhe path vill disperse zhe flow, but it may be necessary to lead intruders astray. In any case, zhe flow must not be lead back into zhe main stream at an opposite angle, zhis reduces zhe magical energy and has no benefit."
He's telling the truth, Cyclophan commented, or he believes he is, anyway.
Any hidden agenda?
I wouldn't know.
"Okay." Scratch said to the vampire, "Say we board up these doorways, open up some others, we can improve the flow of magic."
"Zhat's right."
"And what would be the benefit to you?"
"Zhe benefit is to you, not me."
It's true.
"Vhen you increase zhe power of zhe dungeon, zhe power of your monsters vill increase as vell. Have you considered more entrances?"
Scratch put on a difficult face, "let's stick to one entrance for now."
"Just as vell, each entrance is a vulnerability as too. Now, to zhe beast layer."
-
"I suppose you have something to fault here as well." Scratch said while chewing on his cigar.
"Zhe animals do much to guide zhe magic," Noss said while facing a wolf, "take zhe large animals and put zhem into side alcoves, so zhat zhey attract zhe magic, but do not block it. You can see how zhey disrupt the flow, can't you?"
"Huh? No I can't perceive magic."
Noss looked at him curiously, "I see..." He turned to point at the lift, which had recently received a folding door after its renovation, "and put a strong monster at zhe exit. Zhis is zhe most concentrated stream so far, a basilisk or such creature makes use of ambient mana for its abilities, it vill be at its strongest here. And it vould block zhe entrance to zhe next layer."
Yes. A boss.
"Ve call zhis a boss monster."
I've been telling you to get me a boss monster. I like this guy.
"It is zhe responsibility of zhe evil god to attract and evolve monsters. Zhis Cyclophan has failed you so far."
Nevermind. I don't like him. No appreciation for practical complications.
"Zhere are techniques for monster breeding. But zhese are errant details, zhe failure in dungeon design lies after zhis."
"What? The elevator?"
"And vhat lies beyond it."
Noss pulled the wooden panels of the folding door aside and tried to step into the box, but Scratch caught up to him.
"Oopsie, watch out. We had a trapdoor installed so we don't have to ruin the whole thing anymore. You gotta slide this block in place so you don't fall through. It's like a boobie trap." As he talked, he pushed a wooden rectangle that had been designed to appear fixed over the handrail to the middle of the box, which pushed several beams in place underneath the floor.
"Mhm." The vampire studied the mechanism as they both got into the box.
He suddenly unlocked it, open the floor below them.
Scratch didn't have time to respond in a panic, he was already falling.
-
Just before his head would splatter on the stalagmites below, Scratch was saved by a bat creature.
Not one of the dragonbats of the cavern, but Noss Fleder in his bat form.
A nasty claw clasped his ankle yanking him upwards.
Again Scratch was flying through the air, but not from as high, and he smacked down merely painfully on the wooden walkway.
"Agh! What the hell was that!?"
The vampire landed softly next to him, "that was hardly a fall at all. Are you not any tougher zhan your trolls?"
Scratch got up and rubbed his painful knee. "No. Of course not. Why would I even need trolls? Ouch."
"You're zhe dungeon master. You're not... just a regular goblin. Are you?"
They stared at each other for a moment.
"You made me drop my cigar." Scratch said.
"How old are you?" Noss asked, curious now.
"Oh, you know." Scratch waved his hand. "Old soul. I could ask the same for you. Or I suppose a vampire doesn't age. Are you stuck like that forever?"
Noss threw him his cigar. "A pureblood is a vampire that vas never alive. We age at one-tenth the speed of mortals. A turned vampire looking like me vould be young, recently turned as a child, but I am a pureblood, I vas never mortal. Today, as you see me, I am nearly a century old."
"Then I'll start calling you old man." Scratch got up and put the burning stick back between his teeth.
He's telling the truth. Cyclophan said.
He's got no reason to lie.
"Now I'll tell you what's wrong vith zhis part of the dungeon."
-
As Noss saw it there was more wrong than right with the cavern.
The wide open space saw the flow of magic disperse, becoming weaker when it should be getting stronger deeper in.
And the opening into the sea and its skies served only to disrupt the momentum, settling the pressure into a uniform aura around the witch's abode.
The solution, he quickly diagnosed, would be more architecture.
"Zhe machines trap in some of zhe streams. However, zhey swirl vithout purpose. Look, mists and vill-o-visps, magic energy resolving randomly. I have already designed a sanctum for zhis layer, you must supply me zhe materials."
"A sanctum? Sure." Scratch had long ago decided that magic defied all reason and that he would not even begin to understand it.
But Noss insisted on explaining it anyway. "You may no be able to perceive magic, but you must know zhat magic users use mana to cast zheir spells. Mana is nothing more zhan trapped magic, zhat can be released at vill. Zhe magic insists on flowing downwards, towards zhe abyss, by restricting zhe ways zhe escaping mana can flow, a caster makes it resolve into a desired effect. Just as zhe water of zhe river is used to turn zhe mill... or as zhe prisoners of var perform labour in zhe hopes of being set free. Vell... magic does not need to be trapped as mana to resolve into magic, you see it in zhe powers of dungeon beasts. Zhe stream of zhe dungeon is so powerful, ve can resolve continuous magic as flows zhrough specially designed architecture. Zhis is called divine architecture, or sanctums. Zhe good dungeons all have them."
"...okay?"
"Remind me to show you zhe designs later, I vill go over zhe mathematics vith you."
"Is that what you're here to do?" Scratch asked, "create magic rooms for us?"
That's why you want me to lie detect, it's about the Ravenous Lich planting him here.
Noss turned around. "My skills extend far beyond dungeon architecture."
He's avoiding the question.
I noticed. "Yeah? What else is there?"
"Zhe elves. Vhat vill you do vith zhem?"
Changing the subject. "My sons are keen on them. It's an experience of sorts, whether we can handle subjecting prisoners. If it works, I plan on taking more."
"Zhey vill also provide opportunities to feed for me..." Noss licked his lips, "but zhe underworld is too open for proper divine architecture. If you vant to maintain zhe stream zhere, you must install a more powerful monster. Zhe elves might have to be moved."
"Moving the elves. Check. I'll put it all on the very big list of things I will possibly consider thinking about in the future."
This angered the vampire. "Zhese are not suggestions! Ve must secure zhe second segment, and for zhat you must do as I say. First here, and zhen with zhe other shards."
"I see, if it's for the sake of-"
Noss plucked the cigar out of the goblin's mouth. "Zhat you need zhis to even hear zhe voice of your god is pathetic. I expected a dungeon master, vhat I have is a child." He threw it away, "and vhen I speak to you, I speak truly. Do not seek to test me vith zhe god of lies, or I should become angry."
"Fine."
"I vill enter my bloodrise form, Scratch."
"I said fine."
"Good."
With that out of the way, the hierarchy was re-established.
----------------------------------------
Lydia Harkness' primary concern, currently, was earning back her dignity as a human.
Surrendering to the wolf spirit, which she occasionally had to do to pacify it, usually left her naked and caked in mud somewhere in the wild.
When talking, she could barely keep up a conversation. Despite herself, she would fall into the thought patterns of her counterpart, or suddenly bark in the wolven language.
Existence was humiliating, so she needed an escape.
When the children were out, chaperoning the elves on their excursion, Lydia Harkness was let herself be spoiled.
She had just enjoyed a long, hot bath, and now sat wrapped in silk on a comfortable chair, while Scratch combed her hair.
"This is so nice." She said, slightly lightheaded and enchanted.
"Well we want to look nice when we have company over, don't we?" Scratch whispered.
"Mhm." She sniffed him without really listening.
But when Scratch had come up to spoil her, he had brought the vampire with him.
"Your blood runs hot," he grunted, approaching her from the side and putting his face to her forearm, "it beckons to me."
He began to bite into her, which was so painful and pleasurable.
"You're just going to let him?" Scratch asked her accepting pose, but she grabbed his head and kissed him to shut him up.
She was caught in a moment of ecstasy, and before she knew it, the demon Youthere had creeped in.
He rubbed his cheek against her leg, "such a beautiful body..." he murmured, "...so ready for the corruptions of desire."
She despised the creature, but she could feel the truth in his words. She had long run away from her desires, despised herself as a monster, but she had become indulgent now.
The demon himself embodied the lust she had long repressed, and she could not despise his appearance, which had now healed from its scarring.
Holding in her hand she had Scratch, who embodied the freedom from taboo, who had shown her what her body was capable of and given her a new life without fear.
And at her arm was the vampire, who had been placed at the Promise for his similarity in stature and his matching youth. He was an extension of the indulgent life she'd built, and embodied all of the dangers of surrendering to it.
And she was surrendering. Her mind was slipping away and underneath this thin layer of silk-
"LYDIA!"
"FATHER!?"
In the door stood captain Harkness, fuming.
Lydia's leg slammed shut and she closed the silk, her face redder than blood.
"Captain," Scratch said pleasantly, "you're early."
"Have you brought me here to shock me?" The man was livid, "first with goblins and demonic copies, and now with the bandit boys?"
Lydia was simply unable to speak, she clenched at her knees and stared at the floor.
"The village boys were just leaving," Scratch said.
Noss was about to protest, but Youthere pulled on his arm. He blew Lydia a kiss as they left.
"How is the paperwork going?" The goblin asked, "to make me a baron."
The senior Harkness stood there, wide-legged, waiting to be offered a seat.
He let his eyes wander over the interior, the mansion was almost fitting for someone of his standing, but he had too much pride to show interest.
"Captain?"
"It's constable now. I have been assigned to your camp. To represent human law."
Scratch tutted, "taken away from your post. Such a humiliating loss in status, I can't imagine anybody here would know what you're going through."
A faint smile appeared on Lydia's face, as she dared look at him through her eyebrows.
"...Your request has been submitted. To His Majesty the king. This is not just a matter of granting peerage. Your entire community must be pardoned. And your race."
"Constable."
"What?"
"Let me show you where you're staying."
----------------------------------------
Liorin was having the time of her life.
Without Farith there, Albwynn didn't feel any pressure to shun her, and the two could talk freely.
"Ah, the sunlight!" Her fellow prisoner sighed, gratefully turning her face to the sea wind. "How I've missed the true face of nature."
They were at the cavern docks during sunset, and taking in the vista.
"Isn't it amazing?" Liorin said, "all mine life, I hath lived so close to the ocean, yet I hath never seen it. A sunset..."
Albwynn opened her eyes, a bit sad. "If it weren't for the subhumans, I think I could love this place."
"They art not such a curse. There he is!"
Liorin ran up to the tiny sloop, where will was fastening the ropes.
They had been allowed to explore the harbor town because there was no place for them to run away to. But the main event was a boat trip on open waters.
The hobgoblin caught her by the waist and swung her around before setting her down on the deck.
He held up his arms offering to do the same for Albwynn, but she wasn't as receptive and ended up taking just a hand to step onto the boat.
"I only just learned to use this, so watch out." He said, as he pushed them off with a paddle and began unfurling the luff.
It took some time for them to escape the lee of the cliff side, but once they had, the mainsail took wind and they bounced off of the waves with high speed.
Liorin squealed in delight, she had never seen anything like it.
-
They sailed around for some time, zig-zagging against the wind and turning around to follow it with great speed.
Will involved the girls with controlling the ship, and they were able to occupy themselves fully with the task, putting all their sad thoughts aside.
Eventually, the sun went under, and the elves couldn't see ahead of themselves anymore. So they anchored the boat and began splash their feet in the water.
"I believe I hath mastery of the ship now," Albwynn said, "I could captain it myself on a clear day."
"Then we should come back here sometime," Will suggested.
"Aye, but... the sacrifice."
"I did not have to do anything, really," Liorin said, "I merely treated his leg."
Will pointed at his bandaged limb.
"These trips art not costly in the slightest."
"Where did the others go?" Albwynn asked, changing the subject.
"Pecorath and Thryst are in the animal cave, it's like a forest so we thought it'd be familiar to them."
"Is it really? I would like to visit it too some day."
Will smiled. "You can!"
"And the others art at the forges, witnessing the industry of the goblins." Liorin said, "I hath traveled through there before, the scale of it is most impressive."
As they had been speaking, the lights of Eston in the distance had lit up, and they could see the jewel by the side of the coast.
The elves stopped talking to gape at it, "the scale..."
"That's Eston," Will said proudly, "Papa says it belongs to us now."
The city represented humanity, away from the goblins. But at that moment it seemed a hundred times more intimidating to them than the quiet cavern harbor.
-
They hadn't eaten all evening, so they found themselves an eatery when they returned from the sea.
Scratch had instituted private enterprise in their civilization not to have to administer all resources personally, but there weren't exactly tourists at the harbor. The place was more of a communal dining room than a restaurant.
They had to bend over to enter and the chairs were small, but the orphaned goblins running the place were happy have such prestigious guests in and were eager to please.
Will payed for a large fish plate using small bills with the faces of his parents.
"What art these portrets?" Liorin asked, "art they proof of thy heritage?"
"Oh... no, they can be exchanged for gold."
"These boys will exchange it for gold?"
"Well, no. They'll buy other stuff with it. But they could if they wanted, that's why it has value."
The fish plate was a freshly caught swordfish, man-sized, stuffed with locally grown potato and garlic, and with its extra bits still on.
Liorin had been shown how to eat with knife and fork and she was eager to teach her friend.
At that moment the dungeon was a whimsical place of fun and novel things, and good food.
But reality came crashing back in with Noss Fleder the vampire.
"I knew I vould find you here. My feeding was interrupted, stick out your arm."
"Ah! What are you doing?" Albwynn recoiled in horror as the boy tried to grab her.
"You belong to zhe dungeon, zhe dungeon must provide for me. Do not make me use my bloodrise form."
Liorin jumped in between her friend and the vampire.
He hissed threateningly.
That's when Will threw the swordfish at him.
-
"..."
"He's dead."
Albwynn had her hand pressed against the vampire's jugular.
After the short fracas, the undead monster had keeled over and was now motionless on the floor.
"How is that possible?"
"Was there garlic in that thing?"
Will was outside, pacing frantically back and forth. "Oh no. Oh no. What will dad say?" Then he thought about it a moment longer, "what will the lich say!? Oh No!"
----------------------------------------
Fleder Castle
Size: Medium
Threat Level: C
Realm: Blurich
The count has fallen to vampirism more than two hundred years ago. He has isolated himself in his castle, feeding only on vermin and lost souls.
Adventurers may encounter ghouls, mimics, and ravager bats. Treasure to be found in the castle include gold, ancient art, and high value whisk cards.
In the catacombs lies Count Fleder himself. Challenging him is a rank A mission and requires written permission by the baron.
When a high ranking vampire is challenged by adventurers that are not ready to face him, they serve only to bolster his army of thralls.