I was a strange person. Most view themselves as being strange, but I was constantly pointed out as being very, very strange. Well, firstly, I was commonly considered an anti-vegan. Well, I did eat my greens, MOM, but still I always ended up eating the mean before the green stuff. And after. And in between. All right, I didn’t eat that much greens, but... ok, I have no excuse.

Anyhow, it started in the twenty-first of may. I was just out in the sun as usual, lying comfortably on a patch of grassy grass grass. I like grass, sure, but id never eat the stuff. I mean, why would you ever eat something GREEN? Man, what a strange thing to do.

As I was lying there, absorbed in the thought of how human emotion works, I noticed something in the bright sky. Something seemed to be... falling? Well, there was a blob of smoke behind it, so it must have been like, an aircraft just flying by. Ooooooooor, it could be a spaceship from the Andromedra galaxy, about to crash headfirst into my physical manifestation of self??? ah, who knows. Might be anythin-, KALLESKAVIAR

…

..

.

A

A ma gawd

wAT happund? Did ma hiid ixplodd? Na na na, kant bi, kant bi...

…

why am I speaking like that, geez... where am I?

Around me I could see a whole bunch of... nothing? Everything? It felt familiar, like coming back home after years of living alone only to find it to have been replaced with a dump, ah, not that this place looked like a dump or any th-...

sup dude wassup

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

did a voice just echo in my head

ye dude

goshdamnit why is a voice echoing through my head not cool

sorry brah I dunno how else ta contact ya

eh bro its fine, who are you though, bro?

I'm da dude in charge 'round here

wait, you mean like, god, bro?

s'pose so, brah, tho I don't have none o' those omni abilities tho

if you don't have no Omni abilities, then what do you have?

aw shiet brah I'm gettin' off track, back ta da first thing

first things last, I s'pose

haha, ye brah, well, I kinda dropped da salvation of humanity and da solution to all o' their problems on ya, brah

whaa

ye brah, I was just gunna put it on dat hill and boom, had ta saver yer soul before ya possesed sumthin on Earth, noone likes a stray soul, haha

so, uh, ya killed me?

nah, brah, killing would imply I ended your perceived existence in your past present and all conceivable futures, which I didn’t do, brah, I just destroyed your physical manifestation of self, brah

makes total sense yup

so, now I've got a poor lil' soul with nowhere ta go, can't have dat, brah, so I'll just

as he spoke those final words, it was as if my entire being, although only the conscious, as the subconscious is a fabrication of the body and not the soul, was being tugged at by an unknown source. All around me I could feel something, wether it was holding me or dropping me, I didn’t know. Whatever was happening, I could no longer see, not that there was much to see earlier.

My body was dragged, pulled, twisted, swung, but there was only a dull sense of... who knows? I had never felt such a feeling before. I can't even describe it as anything other then “different”.

Suddenly, like a rush of emotions after viewing something terrific, my senses returned. In particular, my sense of hearing. My eyes could only perceive a dull grey and my sense of touch felt something... gooey... the smell and taste was... strangely familiar, yet still alien... like eating a food you had eaten as a child, only the cook was different.

If I tried to move, I could. Well, it was hard, but I could. It was like moving through a vat of slime, kind of like in the Matrix, but I don't think I had any cabled plugged in me... I think...

If I moved enough and straightened my body to its outmost limit, I could feel something. It was like a wall, but when touched... it felt strained, yet it gave in if I pushed on it. Like a wall of... flesh... after a few minutes of exploring, my ears picked up something.

“du-dun”

“du-dun”

“du-dun”

a really quick, fast beat. It sounded kind of like... a... heart?...

I didn't have time to truly understand that thought before I felt the whole place shake and move. The enclosure had tightened to me barely able to move. I felt something push on my head and upper body as my legs seemed to... rip through... the wall... oh... oh geez...

as my legs pushed though, I could see light, as well as something else. The cold air harshly beat against my goo-drenched legs, making the hair on my body stand on its ends. The rest of my body kept exiting as the cold became nearly unbearable.

Soon enough, my whole body had exited. I tried to move, but my body felt so heavy...

using the strength of Will alone, I turned my gaze towards whatever I was in, only to see...

a rabbit. A grey rabbit, its legs spread wide apart as a bunch'a goo dribbled out from between them.

Everything was grey. The ground, the sky, the sun, grey grey grey.

Holly shiet