Through the dead streets of Zenvo I followed the white raven. I knew where he was leading me, but I had done enough damage already, to add confusing an innocent raven to my list of sins.
He hopped from statue back to a head to a petrified tree, more than flew. He constantly checked to make sure I was following, and didn’t fly over any obstacle a human would be unable to surmount. Mostly, this meant respecting the streets, but we sporadically crossed through derelict gardens and the ruins of homes. I saw them everywhere. Every statue had a little bit of Dariels acceptance, a little bit of Orphela’s sadness and desperation, a little bit of Sihea’s terrific realization. Every statue showed a bit of Dusk’s defiance. And many, how not, were images of Luberto’s cowardice. Every petrified tree whose leaves crumbled to the ground with a weight they should not have renewed my guilt. And despite that, to the raven, they were just vantage points, perches to stand over and check on me.
“Terus, follow, plaza, Mhardaka.” the albino raven said once and again.
“Yes, I am following, yes…” I told him, not because it would change anything, but out of respect for such a dutiful companion.
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Mardhaka rested by the petrified fountain. She wasn’t sleeping, her eyes were ajar. She was bathing in the sun, and nude: No bird perched into her violet and black scales. I dragged my feet up to herm, and waited a few moments to see if she would initiate the interaction. The raven landed on Mardhaka’s head and spoke. “Terus, here Mardhaka.” He informed me with his monotone voice.
“Hello. Where are your birds, Mardhaka?” I greeted her and poked her snout to get her out of her trance.
“Hello, you took your time,” she said in a soft tone, as if she were just waking up. “I knew Albedo would find you. He is an intelligent boy. A faithful boy.”
“Where are your birds?”
“Some lay around the city, such that I’d need to scoop up their remains. Others escaped the disaster and haven’t returned yet. But Albedo, he came to me when the nightmare struck. By the way.” She turned her head to the left, then the right. “Has anyone ever told you have a knack for redecoration?”
I punched her the snout, sending one of her teeth flying in direction to the petrified ombú. “It’s no occasion to mock me, insolent child!”
After recovering from the hit, she licked the empty space where her tooth used to be. “Now you are worthy of calling me a sister, my favorite lie.”
“I have done something horrible, Mardhaka. “
She gasped. “Don’t you say? I thought it was merely an insignificant oopsie-whoopsie. You know, the kind that deserves for you to send a signed card to whoever remains of the victims’ families saying ‘Hey, I fucked up. Here’s the ashes of everyone you ever loved. When I learn to cook in a less catastrophic way, I shall send some desserts your way. Love, mass murderer.’”
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I curled my hand into a fist and pulled the arm back to punch her again, but reconsidered that it would do no good. “Drop this persiflage. I have lost enough to add your respect to the list.”
“You cannot lose my respect: you never had it in first place. And, hey, I have a right to mourn all the birds you killed by means of jibe and sneer. Or are you against it?”
Sighing I gave her the back and paced around the fountain. Back and forth. “I lament what happened… what I did, to your birds. Feel free to hate me for it.”
“Yes, that’s pretty much what I am doing. Glad you noticed.” She extended her tail and used it to tickle my nose.
“What are you doing?”
“Being annoying out of spite. Terus, I… have no words for what I feel about all the ones I lost.” Mardhaka said, standing up and lumbering down to the petrified ombú. “I liked this tree, for example.” She scratched one of the exposed roots, carving a gash on the limestone “I liked it being a tree. Isn’t it pathetic, a dragon feeling sentimental for a tree, Terus?”
“I don’t think so, Mardhaka. Trees are alive just like birds or men. And these ones, dead just like every bird and man in Zenvo. And I am to blame.”
Mardhaka lifted me from the head, as if to crush it, and gestured down with her snout. “So, tell me how you feel about the fact that you have finally earned a shadow? This is what you feared, but, in a way, it’s also what you wanted, brother.”
“Don’t say that, I wanted to be like men in more ways. I wanted to be like those who breath and feel true pain, a bit more each day. And now… And now I want to be a statue, like they are. To lay upon the feet of the people I loved and imprint myself forever in that tragic image, nevermore opening my eyes, nevermore losing my smile. Even if there is nothing after death for me, Mardhaka, I wish I could die right now.”
She slammed me against the stony ground, and, as it was normal, the pain and broken bones lasted but for a mere second.
“Nonsense. You owe me an apology, but I will accept a favor in its place. Find me in my lair, and I will tell you more about it. This is why I wanted to see you. I am not passing the chance to force you to do a little thing for me.”
I stood and grinned a fake smile at her. “You wouldn’t be the Mardhaka I know otherwise. When should I visit you?”
“Not today, today I am here. For the sake of old times, Terus, go to the library, and read a bit about birds for the both of us.”
“I cannot, the books are of the people of Zenvo, not mine. They belonged to them, and they belong to oblivion now.”
I saw it in Mardhaka’s stare: she was considering if she would kill me for that. But she let my head go, sighted and spread her wings. “There’s no cure for your condition, Terus. Meet me in my lair tomorrow or whenever you can. I don’t have much to be doing these days, anyway. It is what happens when someone murders my hobby.”
And I watched with teary eyes as Mardhaka took flight, with Albedo holding as best as he could to her horns, with her, the one bit of color, leaving the pale world Zenvo had turned into.
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I am almost done. You know of my tragedy, you know of my reasons and of my feelings. You may know me as well as I may have known Dariel, Sihea or Orphela. My nature still betrays the task, makes some words disappear, forces me to go over each paragraphs once and again. You know not of my face. Just imagine the dragon, for you now know that I Failed Terus and his legacy.
I am almost done. Eternal sleep getting closer with each passing moment. Soon, the book about Zenvo and Terus will end, releasing me from duty. Soon.