Birth

Everything was pressing down on me, almost breaking me apart. Something was pulled tight around my chest and then something cold shocked me, something cold that was pushing me around, back and forth. The pushing things grew warmer, but they were rough and kept pulling.

Finally the things stopped manhandling me, but by then something was hurting my head, again and again, for what seemed to be an eternity. I wanted to sleep, but suddenly everything was moving and wouldn’t let me go.

Ages later something stabbed my eyes and everything grew cold. The rough thing from before was all around me, freezing me for a few moments, before I was suddenly pushed under in something wet and cold, touched everywhere. When I got out of it something forced itself out of my throat. Fluid ran over my face that was wiped away with more fluid and then there was my wail.

I opened my eyes to see who it was that had tortured me so, but there were only grey blotches, some bright and others darker.

Finally I was wrapped into something warm and fluffy, just as I became aware of two more thin, high wails. There was other noise around me, but those wails had something familiar, so similar to my own. I answered by letting out another sound, this time not a wail. Then there was some big, grey blotch and something was pushed into my mouth.

Despite my confusion something inside of me seemed to know what to do and sucked. Heavenly, creamy sweet liquid filled my mouth and then my throat worked on its own. When my belly was full I grew too tired to care anymore and drifted off to sleep.

Day 1

I opened my eyes and wiggled. My limbs moved wildly and then there was something soft against my arm. It looked vaguely familiar…about the same as my own arm. My eyes couldn’t see very well, but I thought there was another little face to my right. Close to me. I moved my other arm and found the same feeling of soft skin on that side.

So I started working hard to try and turn around, to see what was on my left. It was exhausting and took a long time, but eventually I had managed to get into a position to look at the baby on my other side. Though my eyes really weren’t very good I thought the other one looked just like the one on my right. Remembering the other two wails I thought they might be my siblings. Triplet.

I wondered whether I would look the same as them. If we were all the same. But my eyes couldn’t see colors yet and everything was still so blurry I could barely distinguish anything more than a few inches away. Maybe I just thought they looked alike.

Then my stomach started hurting, but I didn’t want to wake up the other babies. I kept my voice down and just watched, and waited.

Eventually the baby to my right started waking up and cried, causing the one on my left to do the same. Since both of them were crying already we would probably be fed soon. No need to exhaust myself with crying, too. Instead I looked around and when there was movement I concentrated on the grey blotch to try and see more.

But still, no luck. Just vague facial features. My two siblings were lifted up first, because they were wailing.

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Then it was my turn. I didn’t quite get full, but the pain in my belly got much better. And besides, all the looking around, not to mention turning, had tired me out. So I fell asleep almost before I was set back down in what I now noticed was a kind of princess bed full of cushions and pretty, girly toys. But I fell asleep before I could see more.

8th week

I stared at the two little girls lying on the blanket with me. We were outside, on a lawn, where an older woman had set us down in a triangle, with a few flowers in the middle. I looked at their sweet faces intently, first one, then the other. They looked back at me. I started smiling and they smiled back. There was no consciousness in them though. I had noticed that a little while ago. Somehow I seemed to be different. But when I tried to think of why my head hurt.

The colorful flowers in the middle caught my attention and I reached for them, feeling the smooth texture of the petals and the sometimes rough one of the stems and leaves. The other two didn’t do such things. That was strange. But they did look at the flowers, so maybe I was the strange one.

Curious, I started pulling the petals off and then tried putting them in my mouth, just out of curiosity. Before I could though I was lifted up and the petals were taken from me. The woman talked to me, but I didn’t understand.

The sounds were harsh, so I guessed they meant I’d done something wrong. I was getting curious what it was that she was making sounds for though, so I started listening to try and remember. It gave me another headache and I gave up.

5 months

My name was Lily. The others were Azalea and Magnolia. For some reason they were already doing something that I thought was probably education. They kept mentioning the words ‘beauty’ and ‘frail’ around me. To Magnolia they talked about ‘calm’ and ‘peace’, while Azalea was apparently supposed to be ‘loving’ and ‘sensuous’.

I think they’re trying to teach us to have some kind of special personality, but…frankly, that doesn’t really make any sense to me. Either way, I finally managed to start articulating a few words, but since my sisters haven’t done that yet I’m keeping my mouth shut. I haven’t really been making very many sounds around the adults for what feels like a long time now.

We’re growing well in either case, though for some reason I’m skinny and smaller than the other two. Probably because they scream loudly and get most of the milk, but somehow screaming like that feels wrong to me. Like I’m not supposed to do so. Fortunately nobody thinks me retarded, or ill, as I have been happily exploring any second I could, even though I still can’t really understand most of the things I see. We were comfortable and protected.

And if I understood the women around us correctly we would soon join other children to play.

(((I really want to put in these next chaper things, but I have no idea how!)))