James woke up with a groan as his alarm clock started ringing right by his ear. A horrible way to start off the day only made worse by the fact that it was a Monday. James didn't like Mondays, a controversial opinion, if there ever was one. James was also definitely not a morning person, yet another truly unusual thing, after all who doesn't like getting up before the sun was even up on a Monday morning?
Pulling himself out of his bed James groggily shuffled over to his roommate, it was the best roommate that James had ever had, of course it was also the only roommate James had ever had but why get caught up on the particulars.
"Of course" James though as he grabbed a small container off his desk "Even if I had gotten roommates in the past I'm sure he would still beat all of them"
James thought, not for the first time, that he might just have the best roommate on the entire planet. His roommate's name was Benevolent Undine of the Blue, Bringer of Luck and Eternal Serenity, his friends call him B.U.B.B.L.E.S, okay well his singular friend called him Bubbles, okay so maybe only James really ever called him Bubbles and maybe Bubbles was a fish. Yet despite those minor details James was still confident that Bubbles was a really good roommate.
As James dumped some fish food from the container he grabbed off his desk into the tank he watched as Bubbles excitedly shot around to gobble all the little flakes.
"At least someone seems happy" James muttered to himself as he went to turn on the shower, if James could understand fish, he would realize that Bubbles, like any sane person, despised Monday; and that what James thought was Bubbles excitedly zooming around was actually just Bubbles being hungry. Bubbles was a really gluttonous fish.
If anyone were to ask James what type of fish Bubbles was James would just say "ah he's a blue fish" and if they asked "No not his color, is he a Guppy or a Royal Blue fish, or something else entirely?" James would simply respond "Fish." while staring them straight in the eyes, it was definitely because he thought their looks of confusion were funny and not at all that he couldn't remember that Bubbles was a Betta fish.
James looked himself in the mirror as he waited for the water to warm up, he was not what one would normally consider conventionally handsome, he was also not unconventionally handsome, okay so he just wasn't handsome in general. Yet James wouldn't say he was bad looking, just average, black hair, muddy green eyes, 5 '10, pale skin though not the freakishly pale skin from someone that never went outside; just the freakishly pale skin of someone that rarely goes outside, big difference.
"Of course that is what average means, most the world is going to just be average"
Overall James was just an ordinary guy that managed to get a rather great roommate.
Then James day took a turn, as a ripple seemed to start spreading from everywhere at once, distorting everything it touched until everything became the same dark black color.
Everything stood like that for what seemed like both eternity and no time at all before, suddenly there was a soft blue light of in the distance the light slowly got closer and closer until James could make out the vague shape of a box.
Now like anybody else James first thought was, "Oh fuck, the AI Apocalypse has started, guess the worlds doomed." Luckily for him though he made sure to always thank his microwave after it finished cooking his food, so he at least would probably be safe.
"Wait a second" James said with evident panic in his voice "What about Bubbles? He hasn't thanked the microwave once as far as I know."
James at that moment decided that he would make sure to inform the robot that actually Bubbles was a really chill dude. This decided James turned to tell Bubbles the good news, only he couldn't see Bubbles.
"Bubbles? Where are you Bubbles, come on come here."
When that didn't work he started to get desperate.
"Bubbles, pspspspsp."
And yet his foolproof strategy of calling Bubbles over as if he were a cat also didn't work. As most would have guessed the reason it didn't work was very simple, the plan was foolproof but Bubbles was no fool, Bubbles was a genius and therefore needed a genius proof plan.
"Welcome, human you get to be present to the initiali-" The blue box started to say.
You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.
"BUBBLES, WHERE ARE YOU BUDDY? NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR HIDE AND SEEK, THE ROBOTIC AI IS TAKING OVER AND I HAVE TO TELL THEM THAT YOU ARE A GREAT ROOMMATE SO THAT THEY DON'T EXTERMINATE YOU.
"-zation of the glorious program known formally as Shove Your Stats To Epic Magnitudes."
James turned his face pale white.
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO BUBBLES?! HE'S A TOTAL BRO YOU BETTER NOT HAVE TOUCHED HIM."
The blue box didn't even change expressions as James yelled at it, though that may have been because of the small fact of not having a face to make expressions with.
"As someone newly introduced to the system you are allowed to chose any three skills."
Weapon Skills Magic Skills Misc Basic Blade control Basic Ranged weapon control Mana Control Advanced Mana Sense Basic Crafting Basic Alchemy Advanced Long Blade Control Advanced Short Blade Control Mana Affinity Magical Bolt Basic Smithing Basic Bowyer Exotic Weapon Control Unarmed Fighting Mana Shield Improved Meditation Basic Poison Making Basic Chef Improvised weapon control Gandhi's PP Method Counter Spell Basic Magical Lore Basic Tailor Basic Builder
"If you want a skill and don't see it on there you may ask for a different one."
"Skills? Huh no I want Bubbles."
"... Bubbles is not a valid skill, you may need to try a different name."
"Oh wait! I know what you want. Please give me Benevolent Undine of the Blue, Bringer of Luck and Eternal Serenity"
"... Benevolent Undine of the Blue, Bringer of Luck and Eternal Serenity is not a valid skill, you may need to try a different name"
"Oh my gosh how could I have been so stupid, I can’t believe I didn't notice something so obvious, you're not a microwave. No wonder you can’t understand my requests, I humbly beseech thee to connect me to a better intelligence."
The program Shove Your Stats To Epic Magnitudes has heard your plea and deigns to speak to you in person, be honored for this is not an opportunity afforded to many.
A loud booming voice shook the black void James was in, seemingly coming from everywhere at once, similar to the ripples that James had experienced early that day.
"What is requested of me?"
"Oh great microwave of the heavens I beg you to unite me with my roommate, Benevolent Undine of the Blue, Bringer of Luck and Eternal Serenity, or better known as Bubbles" As James he tried to get down on his knees and bow, which was made rather more difficult because of the lack of floor but James was one determined individual.
"..."
"Pending request I will require the permission of Bubbles before I go any further."
"Phew" James breathed out slowly for he knew that Bubbles, being the best roommate in the world, was going to accept this instantly. And a second later his confidence was rewarded.
"The being known as Benevolent Undine of the Blue, Bringer of Luck and Eternal Serenity has accepted, this will cost all three of your skill points, do you still wish to continue?"
"Of course" James replied while wondering, "What in the world are skill points?"
Through direct intervention of the almighty Shove Your Stats To Epic Magnitudes, James Soul has been directly linked to Benevolent Undine of the Blue, Bringer of Luck and Eternal Serenity's soul creating a permanent soul corridor and creating a bond that Transcendents couldn't even break
"Thank you all mighty microwave" James once agian bowed as he saw his one and only roommate appear.
"You are welcome James"
Then without any delay the mighty presence disappeared.
"Well good thing that is settled" James said to Bubbles as he turned to find a surprise.
"Through your connection to Benevolent Undine of the Blue, Bringer of Luck and Eternal Serenity, the being known as 'Bubbles' has gifted you with his three skill points. What skills do you select?"