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Florida Man In A Fantasy World
Between A Rock And A Blonde

Between A Rock And A Blonde

The wind carried the pungent scent of death, a wave of disease riddled air blowing through the lane of shambled houses and dilapidated buildings, ruffling Nereus' pitch black hair as he glanced around his immediate vicinity. His bare toes dug into the damp sand coating the sides of the fractured pavement, leaving small, distinct footprints wherever he deigned to step. It was bitingly cold, with temperatures low enough to easily see ones warm breath every time they exhaled, enough to cause one to shiver uncontrollably at the slightest breeze.

Of course, it didn't bother Nereus in the slightest. He was far too busy processing everything to even notice.

Less than thirty minutes had passed since Nereus had awoken in that disaster of a room, since he had found himself snuggled up beside a blonde girl with the ears of an elf. Within that timeframe, the youth had explored a good portion of the shack connected to the bedroom, rummaging through a poorly constructed kitchen and comparatively small living room. Having found nothing, and no one, of interest, Nereus had ultimately decided to head outside and get a good look around, maybe get a clue as to what exactly had happened to him and just where he might be.

It was there that he had remained, barely moving for a full ten minutes as he tried to get his bearings and wrap his head around everything.

Gone was the block of fresh houses and bright green lawns, replaced with overgrown vines and a rampant infestation of mud colored weeds. Set on a rather steep slope, Nereus could see for over a mile to the immediate left of him, allowing him to witness just how many lanes shared the poor construction quality and gross vegetation. After half a mile, the infrastructure changed drastically, sporting more common houses and clean roads, similar to that of his own hometown. Beyond that, Nereus couldn't see very much as the homes grew too large to make out anything behind them, not counting the enormous, hard to miss castle towering over every other building.

People dressed in ripped black clothing milled about, dragging their feet as they wandered through the area with deep sunken eyes and droopy frames, a stark difference to those back in Florida who hid their depression instead of letting it show openly. Quite a few of them, mainly every single one with just a few exceptions, sported bodily mutations similar to the blonde girl from before, ones that pointed away from them being simple humans.

Pointed ears, animal ears and tails, bat wings. There was such an assortment of different appendages that the youth gave up trying to keep track. He simple stood there, trying to take it all in.

"Well, this definitely isn't Kansas anymore," Nereus muttered under his breath, a cloud of steam escaping as he exhaled slowly. "But I don't exactly feel like looking for the yellow brick road right now. Seems like a lot of work."

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Spinning around, the black haired teen turned his back on the entire scene, refusing to acknowledge it for the time being. Before he could attempt to grasp the new reality he just found himself in, he needed to gather answers to the smaller questions first and then gradually make his way up. Though used to dealing with craziness on the daily, having dived into shark infested waters and swam with Crocs, this was an entirely new ballgame.It needed to be handled carefully lest he die because of some bullshit he hadn't been fully aware.

Closing the door behind him, Nereus trekked his way back through the house, stepping over shards of glass and puddles of water. He had trampled over both the obstacles on the way out and wasn't in a hurry to repeat it on his journey back in.

Making his way into the room, Nereus wasted no time in waking up his blonde companion. Grasping the edge of the sheet the elf was sleeping on, he yanked it upwards as hard as he could.

THUD!!

"Alright Dorothy, get the fuck up," Nereus instructed. "Where does the Wizard Of Oz live? Need his IP address, stat."

There was a slight groan as the light haired elf slowly arose from the floor, pushing herself into a sitting position, free hand clutching the back of her head. Nereus hadn't seen it before but she had the same bags around her eyes that everyone else had, dark circles with a sickly tinge of yellow, as if she had stayed up for days on end without the proper nourishment. She still looked unnaturally exquisite, with fair skin and gorgeous blonde locks, but the youth could feel that something was off, which was odd since his instincts had always been pretty negligible, almost pure garbage.

The elf opened her eyes, confused blue orbs gracing the world. For a solid half minute or so, she sat in place, staring yet unseeing eyes gazing at the wall opposite her. Nereus didn't say anything, he just let her be as he waited to the side, allowing the cogs in her brain to slowly catch up to reality. He had a seemingly endless amount of questions swirling through his head, but he restrained himself to only one.

"You feeling a'ight there blondie?" Nereus asked curiously, breaking the silence. "Didn't give you a concussion right?"

The girl immediately turned her head toward the sound of Nereus' voice, her confused expression intensifying as she fixed her enormous sky blue hues onto the youth light red ones. For an indeterminable period, she seemed to enter a sort of trance, as if she couldn't begin to fathom what she was seeing. Her confusion vanished entirely, replaced with one of shock and disbelief, her eyes widening with every passing second until she looked similar to an owl, orbs as big as dinner plates. It got to the point where Nereus had to touch his face to make sure there wasn't anything on it.

"Nereus?? Is that.....you?" The blonde slowly rose to her feet, her gaze still locked on the youths face. "This isn't some kind of dream? Or hallucination?"

"Actually we're in a simulation created by Elon Musk. I'm just a hologram made up of 1's and 0's." Nereus shook his head in mock disappointment. "Such a noob. You should be able to tell by a mere gla-"

Bam! Thud!

The youth was immediately cut off as the elven blonde vaulted over the bed, tackling him in a deadly embrace. Nereus' head slammed into the wall on his way towards the floor, tumbling to the ground where his backside smacked with the force what felt like a metric ton of TNT. Oxygen momentarily left his body along with any sort of cognizant thought, stars circling his vision.

"I CANT BELIEVE IT!! You're alive!!" The young woman let out a scream of pain and relief, one that Nereus was barely able to register due to the ringing in his ears. "I thought you had died!!"

"So....this is you...trying to finish the damn job then?" The black haired youth sputtered the moment he could breath. "Get..... the fuck off you.... bimbo."

Nereus' adamant complaints fell on deaf ears though as the young woman curled onto his chest tighter, her arms ensnaring him, preventing him from squirming away. He tried to fight against her hug, but even using all of his strength, he was helpless against her monster like grip, leaving him crushed against the ground, completely at the woman's mercy.

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