Chapter 15:

Usui was walking down the hall from the bridge to take the lift down to her quarters. Adams relieved her of duty since her little outburst. She was furious but followed the order anyway. Aleks will take care of him when he comes back from that xeno ship.

Who was he, ordering the fleet around? Gregory should have taken over after Aleks got sick, not this admiralty opportunist.

She pressed the key on the lift to take her down one level to her quarters. It's better this way. At least she could now relax a little and get her emotions in order. Now that Aleks is back, things can go back to the way they were, the way they used to be.

Her heart started beating faster as she expected the lift and started walking to her quarters. She was a mess and trying not to show it to the passing members of the crew. When she saw Aleks on the bridge, her heart skipped a beat. No one saw the change on her face when she saw him. She quickly composed herself and went back to pretending.

She was remembering it, the feeling when she saw him. She made a few fast steps and reached the door to her quarters, quickly opening it, entering the room, and allowing herself to smile. She kicked off her boots and threw herself on the bed, squeezing hard on her pillow. Aleks was back. It was really him. Not that will of a man she had watched for the last eight years. There he stood, in all his glory, the authority back in his voice. She was overwhelmed with joy.

She had worked so hard to get close to him since she joined the fleet as a rookie legionnaire twenty-two years ago. She went from ensign to security officer, all the way to fleet commander so she could get close to him. Eight years of sleepless nights, double shifts, seeing things others didn’t. Aleks personally recommended her for the rank. Very soon she had become a member of his inner circle, as a trusted and loyal commander. Aleks never shared more than a professional relationship with her, but he trusted her. She knew some of his deepest secrets, some Greg didn't even know. Though she could never show how she felt about him, she pretended for years. She was still pretending. She could never admit that she loved him. Ever since he saved her life on Dhraka, it's not that he went back for her, he didn't even know her, it's how he held her hand while she was bleeding on the medical table, screaming, even as she was tearing off his skin with her nails, he stood by her, he didn't leave her side until her wounds were closed, the blood transfusion was over and she finally fell asleep, that was twenty-one years ago, but he still had the scars. He was just helping an insignificant soldier in his ranks, but to her, it meant everything. She asked for a transfer to an ensign position on the Titan, and he approved. Since then she did everything she could to get closer to him. She could have gone further than the role of commander, but that would mean leaving his side, and she couldn't do that. She only did it for him. The harder she worked, the more she loved him. As she rose through the ranks, she was overjoyed that he noticed her and her efforts. He never suspected that she was doing it for him. When he became unwell, all she wanted to do was enter his quarters and hold him, hold him and never leave his side. But she did her duty. She knew he would want her to fulfill her responsibilities. It broke her heart seeing him as a broken man, but she knew that the man she loved was still in there, and today she saw it. She never made a move, afraid of being rejected. She had seen him with women before, but none were from our fleet. It pained her, but she steeled her heart and continued loving him. She prayed that if he ever came back she would tell him how she felt. She daydreamed about it all the time. She couldn't wait for him to come back, to ask for a private conversation, to confess how she felt. But she was afraid. Nothing else scared her, nothing but that. But she will find it within herself.

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She had to. She held her pillow tighter and with a gentle smile, a smile no one knew she had, softly whispered. “Aleks.”