MC stood outside the doors to the long-term care hospital. Morning fog was beginning to disperse and the signs lit up with a kind and familiar feel. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and took notice of the scent from the flowers he held in his hands.
MC walked into the building and checked-in with the front desk. They gave him directions to his mother’s room, but he knew the way on his own. He headed down the hall and opened the thin white door to a small square room. A label on the door said,”‘Julianna.”
The inside of the room was fairly bare and sterile. A TV mounted on the wall quietly played the home decor channel. Light shone through the thick glass window and painted the bare walls of the room.
“Hi mom,” he said. His mother remained silent while sitting upright in her bed. Her long black hair and pale thin face reflected the daylight carried in through the window. MC walked over to a table near the window and picked up a vase containing old wilted flowers. He dumped them into a trash bin and replaced them with the bouquet he’d brought with him. His mother’s eyes continued to stare out the window. MC’s presence didn’t faze her one bit. It was as if he was a ghost in the room. She was looking right through him.
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MC grabbed a chair from against the wall and brought it close to the bedside. He clutched his mother’s hand, but still her gaze did not shift. She exhibited her usual numbness to the world around her. He knew that she wouldn't hear a word he said, but still he talked to her as if she were in a genuine state of mind. “I’m getting closer now, mother. I’m narrowing down the paths to take and I’m going to find Jin. It might not be today or tomorrow, but one day he’s going to pay for what he did to you and dad.” MC gritted his teeth. “I’m never going to be able to move forward unless I do. These feelings of hatred. These nightmares. They won’t end unless I find a way to move forward. I know you’d like to see me do more with my life, but I just can’t yet. More like I don’t know how unless I get this weight off my shoulders. I feel guilty that I’m working a shitty job living in a shitty apartment. I don’t have any hobbies and there’s no hope of grandkids for you in the future. I even saw Aiko the other day. You remember her right? My first crush. When I was younger I really thought she and I would get married and live a happy life together. Now thoughts like that are far away. Don’t worry, one day I’ll be able to make you proud of me.”
MC stayed for a short while just enjoying the presence of his mother and the subtle nostalgic comfort of the home decor channel.
Eventually he got up and pushed his chair back against the wall. He felt that it was nice to visit his mother, but seeing her in a state like that always put him into a gloomy mood. “Goodbye, mother,” he said as he closed the door behind him and set off for work.