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Five Knives
Each breath that you take has a thunderous sound

Each breath that you take has a thunderous sound

CAMILLA

I left as soon as I woke up. I had no intention of running away from them, which I suppose I should have. The logical side of me told me that this was some next level Stockholm syndrome shit. The other side of me, a side that I wanted to believe, told me that this was my chance at doing something with my life. That this was a chance to figure out who I was and a chance to get away from the phantom of my old life.

It didn't take me long to realize that we were not in Denmark anymore since I wasn't able to read any of the signs. The cold weather and hills on the horizon indicated that we had possibly sailed to someplace north, like Norway or Greenland. It didn't matter to me where we were. As long as there was ground that I could cover.

I began running as soon as I found my way out of the small town. I ran for hours, for days, for years. I ran until I couldn't feel my legs, and then I ran some more.

I had never paid attention to my ability to run. I just assumed that everybody could run like me, but now I had to rethink. If what Erika said was true about me turning invisible, then it might be possible that I could also run faster than normal. The realization sent a thrill down my spine. It made me feel powerful and dangerous, and it made me run a little bit faster. I tried to push myself then. I tried to run even faster. I ended up throwing up and shaking, my lungs burning with a fire I didn't know I possessed. It felt like my feet were glowing. It felt like I was high on nicotine.

I ran back slower and made it to the boat around sunset. Erika was sitting on the deck, and she got up to look at me when I came.

“You look livid” She noted.

I didn't bother with a reply, but got a water bottle from a cooling box, emptied it in one go, then took another.

“You used your powers, didn't you?” She asked me with a sly smile.

“I suppose I did,” I remarked.

“Wasn't it nice? Just wait till you start training for real.”

“When do we leave?”

“As soon as Zeph comes back up. Shouldn’t take long.”

I nodded shortly and went back to my cabin.

-

I couldn't sleep that night. I was seasick and I was still high on the rush from running. I instead spend the night wandering the boat. I started with exploring my cabin, searching the drawers for stuff, then stepping carefully on the floorboards, listening to the creaking sound, trying to find something, anything worth taking. I’ve always had a bit of a problem with taking things that don't belong to me. It started when I was in the third grade, and I took on the habit of stealing small things from classmates who had wronged me. Kids are built to be ruthless, so I very quickly gathered a collection of stolen goods. Then I began living on the streets, and I used my skill of stealing to gather food and other essentials.

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I am about to give up when I notice a curtain hanging on the wall. I can't believe I didn't see it before since it now is screaming at me to be removed. I don't bother with waiting, pulling the gray curtain down in one swift movement. There is no dust like I would have thought, and behind it is a big floor to ceiling mirror with a thick silver frame. It looks out of place like it should belong in a castle and not in a small boat.

I froze in place when I saw the mirror. It felt wrong inside of me, it was too silver, too bright, too clean. It made the room feel colder, made it feel more distant as if I was watching myself in another room while I was watching myself in the mirror.

Mirror Me was not like the real me. I just couldn't place it, because I couldn't stop looking at my own eyes. I have gray eyes. Like stone or a stormy cloud. Now my eyes were a different kind of gray, cooler and lighter. My breath cut in my throat when I realized that the new color of my eyes was the same silver color of the mirror’s frame.

I forced my gaze away from my eyes and noticed writing on the mirror itself, right underneath the frame. In curly letters, it read Månens Fantom. The Phantom of the Moon. It felt wrong to read something in my first language here.

I quickly put the curtain back on the mirror and left my cabin. My breath was visible in the cold hallway, but it still felt warmer than my cabin had just felt. I wanted to sit down but didn't want Erika to find me on the ground again. I instead found Zeph’s cabin again and went inside.

I planned to steal something, revenge for him knocking me out earlier. It didn't take me long to find a messenger bag in the corner. In it was mostly clothes and snacks, but I also found a small pocket knife. The blade was engraved the letters M and J. It looked like an important relic, and I quickly stuffed it into a pocket in my jacket. I searched some more, grew hungry, then ate some of Zeph’s chicken jerky, which he had multiple packages of in his cabin.

It was well past midnight when I began to feel tired, but I didn't want to sleep inside of the room with the mirror, so I took my old and trusty sleeping bag and slept in the hallway. I am well used to sleeping on the ground, so it wasn't long before I dozed off.

-

This night I dreamed. I was on the playground that used to be outside of my parents' house. It had been renovated years ago, but this was the old playground, with the blue slide and rusty monkey bars. I could hear a song coming towards me from the distance, some old bop from when I was younger, that I could remember but couldn't name.

Erika, Aiden, and Zeph were playing on the playground. I looked away towards the song, then looked back at them and saw that they were no longer playing. Aiden and Zeph were arguing, yelling at each other. Zeph’s hands were moving rapidly, cutting the air into sharp pieces. Aiden’s hands were crossed and his eyes were full of hurt, I just couldn't see if it was he who was hurt, or if he wanted to hurt Zeph. Erika was standing behind them, and she was looking at me in the eyes. I couldn't read her, but I knew she wanted me to do something, and it pained me not knowing what it was.

I tried walking towards them, but my legs were stuck. Legs are always stuck in dreams, so it didn't come as a surprise to me. I tried yelling, but I made no sound at all. Not even my breathing was audible.

The song stopped and Zeph and Aiden looked at me, while Erika looked away. Zeph threw something at me, and the silver knife that I had just stolen in the real world landed in front of my feet, but now two new letters were added to the blade. I tried to look at the letters, to figure out what they were, but the more I focused, the more my eyes hurt.

Then I woke up.