The scent of fresh baked bread and bacon crisping in the oven made for a heady bouquet as Tina skipped down the stairs to start her big day.
Rounding the corner into the kitchen, she Mama waiting with arms wide open. “There’s my birthday girl,” Mama whispered, her bright and beautiful smile so full of love and adoration as Tina went in for a hug. “All grown up at seventeen years young.” Mama held her extra tight this special morning and snuck in a couple kisses too. “Let me get a good look at you,” she said, pulling back once she was done, her voice still whisper quiet like they was in the library instead of the kitchen of their own house. “Give us a twirl in that dress now. Been too long since I seen you wear anything besides them drab tan shirts and dark jeans, without so much as a splash of colour or femininity to be seen.”
All too happy to comply, Tina struck a series of poses while turning this way and that, pleased as peach to be wearing an honest to goodness dress again. A sleeveless blue linen Pinafore over a nice white blouse, which was a real fancy way of saying a set of overalls that ended in a skirt instead of shorts. Would pair perfectly with her strappy white sandals, while her riding shorts underneath meant she was perfectly capable of riding, running, shooting, and anything else that might come up over the course of the busy day, so long as she remembered to kick off her sandals first. Struck a good balance between fashion and practicality it did, and she wished she could dress like this everyday, though she understood why she couldn’t. Was hard enough running in full gear without having to hike up your skirts, a problem which could be solved by shortening their length to just above her knees, but God forbid a lady show her calves lest the sight of so much bared flesh drive all the men insane.
Silly that, having to cover up just because some folks couldn’t be bothered to behave, especially since there were those who’d catcall you no matter what you wore. Been that way since Tina turn twelve, and not just from folks her age or younger. Thought she’d heard it all here in town, but the trip up to Pleasant Dunes showed her different. Seeing how them poor miners lived was a real eye-opening experience, especially with how comfortable so many of the men were with threatening violence on her and the other women. Turns out, the drunken lecher she’d pulled her gun on was downright polite compared to the rest, who didn’t say nothing out loud within earshot, but the dark looks they gave her all the livelong day left no doubt as to what they had on their minds. Then there was that lippy brat Junior, who was spewing all those hateful things before Howie tuned him up, none too shy about announcing his horrible intentions like it was the most natural thing in the world. Don’t even get her started on how their womenfolk were dressed, not just the gals working at the saloon, but most all of them including girls younger than Tina even.
Wouldn’t be polite to speak ill of the dead, but Ronald Jackson and the members of Vanguard National got what they deserved, no two ways about it. Wasn’t just because they took Howie’s hand; the way they treated those townies might have been legal and aboveboard in keeping with the Accords, but that don’t make it right.
So these days, Tina wasn’t so fussed about her skirt going down to her calves or keeping her neckline by her collarbone anymore. Was still a right lovely outfit, and Mama thought so too, piling on compliment after compliment while snapping Photos with the Cantrip before waxing nostalgic. “Feels like just yesterday when you was wandering around in skirts and pigtails,” Mama whispered, taking Tina’s cheeks in her hands with a teary little smile. “While dragging that stuffed horsie around everywhere you went, no less.”
“Sunflower. She’s still sittin’ upstairs next to my bed,” Tina replied, beaming bright to remember it. Daddy was the one who made it for her, hand stitched it out of scrap cloth and wally wool, while Uncle Ming Mended it more times than she could count. She remembered sitting with Uncle Marcus and brushing Sunflower’s hair, and Uncle Tim using Illusions to make the horsie come to life. Good memories all around, and Tina was disheartened to know none of them were around today. At least she still had a chance to see Uncle Tim again, though things had to be bad in Meadowbrook if they were keeping him up there as the man in charge. As for the other three? They were all dead and gone, alongside too many other lost friends and family to list, but that’s how it was. Wouldn’t find a single person here in New Hope who hadn’t lost someone near and dear, and losing more just meant you were fortunate enough to know so many good people before they passed.
Rallying back from her wistful thoughts before she started shedding tears, Tina gave Mama another hug with an extra hard squeeze before back off and asking, “So why we whisperin’ Mama? The neighbour bein’ nosey again?” A running joke of theirs, because the neighbour was Howie, who was here more often than not and was family through and through. Man only lived alone in his tiny shack of a house out of sheer stubbornness more than anything else, instead of moving into his old bedroom which was now the guestroom, or rather had always been called as such even though Howie lived there for years and years before joining his daddy out on the road.
“Some top boot you are,” Mama whispered, tweaking Tina’s nose ever so gently before pointing over at the living room with a mischievous little smile. “Gotta work on that perception of yours before you Ranger ready.”
It took Tina’s eyes a moment to adjust to the shadows and make out what was there. The fact that it was all dark and gloomy should’ve been her first clue, because Mama always threw the curtains open first thing in the morning to open the house up to all that sunlight. Soon as Tina saw what them shadows were hiding, she let out a little gasp, only to cover her mouth with both hands for fear of making too much noise. There in the armchair where they’d left him last night was Howie sleeping peaceful as can be. Rare to see him so still and tranquil, his features all soft and relaxed and head tilted ever so slightly. All the cuts and bruises he’d picked up in Pleasant Dunes had healed over and cleared away, leaving his pale, porcelain skin without so much as a scar despite how badly he’d been beaten. Was strange really. Folks all called the Qinese yellow, but Howie’s skin was naturally as white as hers, albeit with a warmer undertone which really showed on the back of his hands that’d been tanned near bronze from working outdoors all the livelong day.
Was a two-to-three-hour ride to Carter’s community where Howie worked sun rise to sun set, though knowing him, he paid no mind to the hour of day and worked until someone told him to stop. Could never get him to sit still, but put him to task and he’d go at it with inhuman focus at the expense of almost everything else. Seeing how he squeaked in last night just before they closed the gates at ten, Howie was probably still working when the clock struck eight, then high-tailed it home atop of Cowie with a Longstrider Spell and liberal use of Expeditious Retreat to make it back in time. Small wonder he’d fallen asleep on the armchair then, nodding off in front of the fireplace after singing happy birthday and scarfing down a piece of cake. Not that Tina blamed him. The fact that he rushed home to even be there instead of staying the night like usual was enough to show he cared, honoring their tradition of celebrating the night before Tina and Chrissy’s actual birthday like they had for so many years.
Course, she hadn’t forgotten Howie had fallen asleep in the living room. She just figured he’d already be up and about, having taken to rising early to handle all the morning chores. Guess he really was beat after doing whatever it was he’d been up to these last few weeks. A full month of hard labour without a break, 190 hours total, 10 short of the maximum 200 he could’ve legally worked in that time frame because of a scuffle with Abby cutting the work week short.
Wasn’t no one pushing him to finish his hours so quick, not the Sherrif, not Uncle Teddy, not even Carter to hear Howie tell it, but he went hard in the paint because that’s the only way he knew how to live. Wanted his hours out of the way ASAP so he could start earning for himself again, which was why he'd come home every weekend and disappear into the depths of Danny’s workshop every Saturday. Was learning more complicated Etches and how to craft doo-dads and doo-hickeys every week, having already crafted a new set of speakers and two amplifiers for their guitars so they wouldn’t have to use a Spell to make themselves heard in a crowd. So far, they’d gotten by with using Bardcraft, but you could get a much better quality of sound with tech. The Cantrip made it sound like you was sitting right next to the source of whatever was being projected, whereas the tech projected the sound from a static point, letting you take advantage of the natural acoustics of your location.
A detail Howie remembered from Lord knows how long ago before setting to build them amps without being asked. That’s how he spent his Saturdays, before disappearing for all of Sunday morning and not coming back until lunch. Sometimes not even, as he’d stay at Uncle Teddy’s and cook for him after their lessons on the ins and outs of theoretical Arcana, Quantum Dynamics, Ray Theory and more. All some real egg-head sorta stuff, things most old worlders barely understood themselves because those who did made a career of it instead of running off to start a new life on the Frontier. Make no mistake, Tina was happy to see Howie bounce back from the loss of his hand and barrel forth along a new path he’d picked out for himself, but he was burning the candle at both ends in his rush to get there. Left him precious few hours to spend with the family before heading to bed after Sunday night dinners, because he needed to be up well before dawn to make it back to work on time.
All in all, it meant they saw him even less than when he was riding out and about, or at least that’s how it felt. Back then, when he came home, he was here for good, puttering around the houses, working on his wagon, finishing all her chores unprompted, or just spending time with them down at the park or around town. Nowadays he was so busy they’d barely had a proper conversation in weeks now, and Tina missed spending time with him something fierce.
Wasn’t the only one who felt that way it seems, as Chrissy had taken it upon herself to sneak down in her jammies and cuddle up beside Howie. Had her legs curled up over his lap and head snuggled right into his chest, while he had his cheek nestled against her long, silver locks. A right darling sight it was, sweet as molasses and heartwarming as can be, and Tina could hardly contain herself to see it. Only way it could be sweeter is if Howie wrapped his arms around Chrissy, instead of keeping them laid out slack atop the armrests, or if Chrissy hugged Howie instead of clutching at the quilt wrapped around her shoulders. One she’d stolen from him no less, as it was the same one Mama laid over Howie last night to keep him from catching chill, but given the fact that he was wont to sleep outdoors without so much as a blanket much less a bedroll, Tina figured he’d be alright.
“I gotta get me a Photo,” Tina whispered, only for Mama to hold her back.
“Fool girl,” Mama said, moving her left hand through the familiar motions as she slung a Spell for Tina to see. “I already got plenty. This one’s my favourite.” An image sprung up from overtop Mama’s hand, showing an angle so close she would’ve had to stand over them to take it. Even added in some contrast and colour to make it easier to see, as if the Photo had been taken in the full morning’s light, showing details too difficult to pick out with the natural eye. Neither Howie nor Chrissy were smiling in their sleep, their expressions best described as neutral or mayhap even cold and grim if you were feeling ungenerous. Was just how it was with the both of them, a fact some folks were quick to forget ever since Howie started going round with a smile pasted across his face. Made him look a lot friendlier, and he said it helped out on the road, which if true made Tina wonder how bad it was before he started smiling. Them pearly whites didn’t do him no favours in Pleasant Dunes, and it seemed like he’d all but given it up these days to go back to his natural, indifferent, almost disdainful neutral expression.
Wasn’t his fault really. Was just how his features naturally came together, with his narrow eyes and pursed lips making it look like he was always glaring and sneering to boot. Uncle Ming had the same expression, and Howie looked enough like his daddy to clearly see the resemblance. Only difference was Uncle Ming had rougher, broader features, while Howie’s were finer and more delicate, with well defined brows and long lashes she envied with all her heart. Losing the baby fat on his cheeks to reveal his sharp jawline hadn’t helped, because the sallow gauntness of his features made him look even younger than he was, rather than the Firstborn and oldest of an entire generation.
More than anything though, at this very moment, Howie looked… peaceful. Tired yea, but relaxed and tranquil too, which is what you’d expect to see in a man fast asleep, only that wasn’t always the case with Howie. Tina only just noticed it on the trip to Pleasant Dunes, when she spotted him fast asleep on her way to and back from watch duty. Had to do a double take more than once, because most times he looked more like a man who’d only just closed his eyes to rest rather than one fast asleep after a long day’s travel. There was a set to his jaw, a stiffness of his shoulders, a readiness to spring up and do violence at the drop of a hat, which Tina thought was funny at first until she realized it’s how he had to sleep to deal with whatever may come while riding out on his own. Seemed a bit extra, and his actions while awake were downright unseemly until Tina noticed Captain Jung tacitly encouraging his behaviour, because she knew that sort of readiness to inflict violence was how you had to be in order to get through to them Vanguard National thugs.
This was the sort of life Howie lived out here, one of bloodshed and brutality without mercy, a life he’d been living for more than two years riding solo without major injury until she’d ridden out beside him.
No two ways about it. Howie lost his hand because he’d been looking out for her, too afraid she’d be caught in the crossfire if he showed Wayne what’s what instead of going along with the crooked Ranger’s schemes. And Conner too, who backed Wayne the whole way through, a betrayal that cut Howie deep seeing how he avoided talking about the friendly, afroed Artificer as much as he could. The wounds Howie took in Pleasant Dunes were the price paid to keep her safe, because she’d been leaning on him too heavily for him to fight unburdened, and Tina would never let it happen again, because now it was his turn to lean on her.
Which made it all the sweeter to see him so laid back and serene, unburdened by his worries here at home with his family. Giving Mama her best and brightest smile, Tina asked, “If I sneak on over there, could you take a Photo of all three of us?”
Caught between her desire to leave Howie be or snapping a Photo of all three of her babies, the latter won out as Mama urged to be quick and quiet as can be. Tiptoeing over the carpet with as much care as she could, Tina moved to Howie’s left so she could kneel next to him while Chrissy slept on the right. Beaming brightly, she held her pose as Mama framed the Photo and snapped a few off, then moved her hand behind Howie’s head and raised two fingers to give him bunny ears. A chance like this didn’t come around often, so she had to take advantage while she could, but the moment she turned to face Mama for the Photo, Tina’s smile froze on her face as the room came alive in a blue, spectral glow. Turning to the side, she was greeted with Howie’s smug smile as he watched her through half lidded eyes, still sleepy and half-awake despite conjuring up a Mage Hand to give her a matching pair of bunny ears.
“Gotta get up real early to get one over on old Howie,” he drawled, his voice all dry and gravelly. Shifting in his seat, he stretched ever so slightly before turning towards Chrissy. “Same goes for you Princess. You awake yet, or you still pretending to sleep?”
“No,” came the muffled reply, eliciting a soft smile from Howie and Tina both.
“No, you ain’t awake, or no, you ain’t pretendin’? Which is it, Princess?”
Having caught on to being made fun of, Chrissy didn’t answer, just reached up to gently pinch Howie’s cheeks in a minor fit of pique. Raising his arm to squeeze her shoulder, Howie froze for all of a moment when he remembered he didn’t have a right hand anymore, a mistake he made at least once or twice a day even though more than six weeks had passed since he lost it. Broke Tina’s heart to see it, but Howie rallied right quick and switched over to his left instead, squeezing Chrissy’s hand three times to tell him he loved her by way of apology.
“Happy Birthday,” he said, glancing at Tina to include her as he gathered Chrissy up in his arms. “Time we got a start on the day though,” he continued, gently coming to his feet without so much as a grunt as Chrissy nestled deeper into his chest, unwilling to give up her comfy perch just yet. Made Tina jealous to see it, especially considering how Howie would make all sorts of sour faces whenever she asked him to carry her the same way. Was always one to spoil Chrissy, carrying her over to give Mama a peck on the cheek before heading up the stairs. “Got a lot on the schedule for today,” he said, after admonishing Chrissy gently about sneaking into his bed, because even though it was an armchair, being asleep on it made it a bed, and boys and girls ain’t supposed to share beds. “Best we get it all out of the way early so there’s more time for celebrations. Ain’t just your birthdays after all; it’s the Advent Anniversary too.”
April 29th, the day the settlers passed through the Gate way back in 1989, and the reason Tina and Chrissy always celebrated their birthday a day early. Now it was 2007, marking the start of the eighteenth year on the Frontier and another day closer to the Watershed. They didn’t always celebrate the Advent, and truth was, it wasn’t really much of a celebration even now, more a day of remembrance for all those they’d lost along the way. Was likely why Chrissy was being so clingy, her arms still wrapped around his neck even though he’d sat her down on her chair in front of her mirror. She knew they’d be going to visit Daddy’s grave later on after breakfast and she was dragging her feet out of sadness and misery. Knowing this, Tina did her best to help Chrissy cheer up, including bringing out a matching pink Pinafore for her to wear. That did the trick, as it’d been years since they’d dressed to match, and Howie hightailed it right out the room when Chrissy stripped out of her jammies without so much as a word of warning. She was seventeen now, same as Tina, but mentally, she was still the same sweet little girl as always, one lost in her own mind and unwilling to find her way out, because she preferred to stay in there where she felt safe and sound.
Was a time when they all hoped she’d eventually snap out of her fugue and become more grounded and down to earth. Was precious little hope of that now, what with her being seventeen and still as dreamy as ever, somehow able to forget she was getting dressed halfway through putting on her dress and standing around in a daze for a good long second while glancing out the window. “Kiccaws on the swing,” Chrissy said, as Tina stepped in to help, and she couldn’t help but smile to see her sister so happy.
“Yea they are,” Tina said, unable to resist giving Chrissy a peck on the cheek. Howie built those swings up top the ranch fence, so the kiccaws had a place to perch where the marties couldn’t bother them. Not that them fierce birdies had anything to fear from the marties, who’d much rather go after some burrowing rodents rather than pouncing birds with a penchant for fighting back. The wallies loved the kiccaws too, since the birds used their big eyes and deft beaks to snap up all the ticks, fleas, and other pests nesting in their wool. As for Cowie, he wasn’t a huge fan of having to share his barn, especially with four new horses in there taking up so much room, but the big sweetheart would come around to them in time.
Just like Howie, who grumbled about the birds the whole trip only to come home and build them all sorts of perches and toys, as well as multiple birdhouses to take shelter in and pet doors into the barn for them to hop up into. A softie is what he was, acting all cold and grumpy despite being warm and fuzzy in all the places that counted. Showed in how he came back to brush Chrissy’s hair with a soft and gentle touch, then did the same for Tina without prompting. Not just because it was her birthday either, as Howie had been doing her hair whenever he was around ever since coming back from Pleasant Dunes, and learned a fair few tricks in the process. Left her hair down today, brushing it out to have more volume while looking both wild and natural as can be, only to tidy it all up with a ribbon to keep her bangs and flicks out of her eyes. Kept with the theme of matching outfits with Chrissy, as they now sported similar hairstyles and bunny-ear ribbons which he tied off with his deft Mage Hands before declaring his job done.
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All without saying a word mind you, just a series of grunts as Tina carried the conversation. Wasn’t because he just woke up; Howie was even less chatty than usual in recent days, never really offering much about himself unless directly questioned. Mama had noticed it too, which was why she set to gently grill him while they all sat down for breakfast. “So Howie,” Mama began, adding a hefty helping of bacon and grits onto his plate while trying to act all nonchalant. “How are things going with Mister Willis and his community?”
“Fine.”
That was all he had for them before tucking in, using his Mage Hands and two forks to eat because one was too slow and Chrissy was still clinging to his left arm, making full use of her birthday privileges to push the envelope even further. It worked too, as Mama simply rolled her eyes at Howie and Chrissy both before asking, “I know you finished the water tower, irrigation channels, and cobbled walkway, but I don’t rightly remember what he got you working on these days.”
That’s because Howie never shared, and Tina figured out why soon enough. “Dock,” he said, keeping his head down while he ate to avoid having to meet Mama’s eyes.
Because he knew how she’d react, all concerned and alarmed as she fired off her sentences without stopping to breathe. “After what happened with Deputy Juan? Ain’t that dangerous? You said yourself they ain’t got any guns to protect themselves, so what you gonna do if more of them Abby show up?”
“It’s fine.” Hand to God, Howie thought that’s all that needed to be said, and might well have stayed silent if Tina didn’t give him a swift kick to the shins underneath the table. A light one, so light he didn’t even flinch, but Mama gave her a glare all the same. Got the job done though, as Howie sighed and continued, “Ain’t started on the stone work out in the water just yet, but we’ve already laid out a perimeter of wards and traps to keep us safe when the work starts. Which ain’t exactly hard labour, but it needs doin’ and they can’t afford the Sheriff’s rates.”
“So you been doin’ it for them on the sly?” Frowning something fierce, Mama asked, “You sure about that? Not to say you can’t lay a ward, but there are legalities to it that you might’ve overlooked. If somethin’ goes wrong and your wards don’t work as expected, they could rightly sue you for negligence or even wrongful death in civil court. That’s why Abjurers all gotta get licensed and insured after all, so you best think twice.”
“Told them as much before I set it up,” Howie said, pocketing a mouthful of bacon in one cheek so he could speak around it. Then, under Mama’s glare, he carefully chewed and swallowed before explaining, “So we wrote up a contract saying he put in the wards, and I’m just there to provide muscle. Was supposed to be uprooting trees at the time, but that was just an excuse for the Sherrif, because again, hard labour and whatnot.”
Mama wasn’t happy, but she didn’t press the issue, because Howie was a stubborn as they come. Instead, she went at it from a different angle and asked, “What sort of wards you do for them?”
“Alarm mostly, all along the shore and some out in the forest too,” Howie replied, more alert and lively now that they were talking about stuff he was actually interested in. “Wanted to lay one in the lake proper, but moving water interferes with Aetheric harmonics. The currents would tear any ward I set down within the day, though Danny says they had contraptions to fix that sort of thing back in the old world. Some sort of silicon wafer that converts the Aetheric Waves into electro-magnetic? Don’t rightly understand the tech, and it can’t differentiate Abby from fish or even boats, so you gotta tinker with the parameters to avoid a deluge of false positives, but it does the job. Supposedly. Got none of that though, so we got nets attached to bells and plans to lay down a Protection from Abby Ward to dissuade them from coming up anywhere close to the dock.”
“Won’t stop them cold though,” Mama said, even though Howie knew it good and well. Just wanted to be sure he told Mister Willis and his ilk, and sure enough, Howie confirmed it with his next words.
“Yea, warned them a fair few times, and I think they even listened.” Taking a bite of his bacon with a shrug, Howie went right back to eating, but now Tina’s curiosity was piqued.
“Sounds like you like working there,” she said, because Howie was never one to suffer fools lightly, and she hadn’t heard him make a single complaint about the little community besides their lack of Aetherarms.
“Yea, they good people,” Howie replied, after glancing at Mama and swallowing his food.
“That so? Who else you know there besides Mister Willis?”
“Uh…” Looking like a deer in the headlights at so simple a question, Howie hemmed and hawed before doubling down on his ignorance to crack jokes. “There’s tall and dark, short and brown, mean and yellow, and a couple others.” At least he had the decency to look sheepish as he listed off the descriptors, making it clear he didn’t know anyone’s name besides his boss. “Look,” he said, sounding defensive as can be as he tried to head off another lecture about judging by colour, “Carter’s folk don’t do much talking, not even amongst themselves, so I keep my lip buttoned to maintain the peace. Usually say less than a dozen words a day if you average it out, which is real nice. Don’t gotta ask after the family or how so and so is doin’, or what happened with that thing they mentioned last time I was around.”
Tina could hardly believe it, a whole community of folks who hated small talk as much as Howie. Get him on the right topic and he wouldn’t shut up, but wanting anything more was like pulling teeth from a tuskwulf. Mama kept at it though, without learning much of anything at all by the time breakfast was done, but it wasn’t like Howie was being intentionally obtuse. He answered any direct questions quick as he could, but missed out on the implied ones like how the frequent travel must be hard on him without a wagon to ride on, or whether they were feeding him enough while he worked. No and yes were his answers to those, without so much as an attempt to clarify, which just wasn’t how normal folks communicated, but Howie was nothing if not abnormal.
Was still family though, which was why they headed down to visit Daddy’s grave all together after the chores were done, with Chrissy on Howie’s arm and Tina on Mama’s. Was always a teary reunion, their little talks down by the gravestone, a right proper marble slab Daddy carved himself. As a joke, he said, but Mama knew different, that it was his way of coping with all the fear and stress that came with the job. ‘Husband, Father, Uncle, and Ranger,” that’s all the tombstone said before Mama added, ‘Forever loved, and always missed’ underneath it. There it was, proof positive that Howie was a part of the family, because Daddy thought of him even in his darkest moments. Always brought a tear to Tina’s eyes, and Mama’s too, which got Chrissy crying alongside the both of them. Not Howie though, who stood there all calm and composed as could be, the same way he’d stood tall during the funeral. Tina remembered it well, how he’d been there at her side all dry-eyed and stoic as they lowered Daddy in the ground, holding her hand and Chrissy’s too, squeezing oh so tightly because that’s all the emotion he allowed himself to show. Wasn’t that he loved his Uncle Raleigh any less than Tina loved her daddy. No, Howie stood strong because he thought that’s what everyone needed from him, a tough and dependable sorta brother to be Tina and Chrissy’s stoic rock in a sea of emotional turmoil.
Which was true. She did need him, and Chrissy did too, but only now did Tina realize Howie had no rock of his own. Who would stand strong for him now that he needed someone to cling to? No one, that’s who, meaning he had no one to hold him tight while he cried for all that he’d lost. Man walked into the lion’s den to keep her safe, lost his hand and livelihood both in one fell swoop, and even then, the first thing he did when he saw her after the fact was smile and say, “It ain’t as bad as it looks.”
Liar. It was far worse, because even though he was still alive, his dreams of being the Firstborn were all but gone. That’s how he felt, even if he never said it, and Tina knew it because she knew him too well. Time was, he’d have come back from that Abby ambush and hatched himself a plan to get even and get paid, but instead, he chalked it up as a total loss and acted like it didn’t bother him none. Wasn’t practicing his left-handed draw at his makeshift shooting range, or bringing his new guns down to the proper range to give them a go. Even stopped referring to himself as the Firstborn, and was just ‘old Howie’ now, like a retiree who’d gotten out of the game despite being only seventeen years young. Sure, he talked the talk about how he was fixing to craft an automaton prosthetic or improve Mage Hand well enough to wholly replace the hand he’d lost, but actions spoke louder than words, and Howie had always been a man of action.
And now, his actions said he was all but throwing in the towel, getting ready to settle down for a life here in town as an Artificer, handyman, or some other sort of trade. Make no mistake, he’d do well no matter what he set his mind to, even hunting Abby if he wanted to, but for Howie, being the Firstborn meant more than being good. He had to be the best, and since he couldn’t, he figured he might as well not even try. Lost his dream of being a Ranger, and now he couldn’t even be the Firstborn no more, which left him hurting more than he’d ever admit.
Small wonder he liked helping Mr. Willis and his community so much. Was the sort of thing Uncle Ming used to do, back when this here slice of the Frontier was more unforgiving without the Bulwark of fortress towns all set up.
Despite all of Tina’s pleas for him to join them for the festivities, Howie ran off to Danny’s workshop soon as they were done visiting graves. Claimed he had some commission to finish up right quick, which might even be true this time around. Still, Tina couldn’t rightly remember the last real festival Howie had gone to, not including those impromptu celebrations like the one they held the last time he fought off all those harpies. He’d been the talk of the town that night, with people lining up to shake his hand, and now those same people were whispering about how he ought to be exiled instead. Wasn’t why he was in hiding though. Howie stopped coming to the Advent Anniversary after the Rangers disavowed his daddy and Uncle Ming’s name didn’t make it onto the list of that year’s fallen heroes, one that was read out to the town and engraved into a cenotaph sitting outside the cemetery. Still, maybe it was better for Howie to stay out of the spotlight for a while, because he was never one to play nice or back down from a fight.
And sure as shooting, there would be a fight if he saw how some folks were eyeing Tina, Chrissy, and Mama from the crowd, all judgy and conspiratorial like they’d raised a hardened criminal instead of a fine young man they’d celebrated as a hero not two months ago.
Putting them out of mind, Tina did her best to enjoy the day as best she could, and stuck around for the speech which Uncle Teddy nailed as always. When the representative from the Rangers came out to recite the names of fallen heroes, it burned Tina to hear Wayne’s name called out like he wasn’t some two-timing, double dealing, scumbag of a traitor. Wasn’t fair for him to be honoured while Uncle Ming was spurned, and even from a distance, Tina could tell it didn’t sit right with Uncle Teddy either. Still, she didn’t make any fuss, only cried all the harder when Uncle Marcus’ name was read out and Howie appeared to take her hand, just like he did all those years ago at Daddy’s funeral.
Yea, Howie was family through and through, and if this town didn’t want him, then Tina didn’t want nothing to do with the town neither.
Course, that was an option of last resort, because it wasn’t like everyone had turned against Howie. Only the loudest and dumbest, who also happened to be the most cowardly as they stood back in their groups judging everyone who came to greet Howie after the ceremony was done. Sarah Jay was first in line, dragging Errol along behind her, though Tina was of the opinion she’d’ve been better off leaving him in the crowd. While he hadn’t come right out and accused Howie of nothing, Errol heavily implied in front of everyone and God that he didn’t buy the official story, nor did he believe the rumours going about accusing Wayne of being dirty. Was as good as kicking dirt at a downed man, and Tina burned to hear it, especially after what Howie did for Sarah Jay by giving her the whole check they earned from selling a Mage Armour Spell Core.
Not to mention his cold offer to handle things with her drunk and abusive stepfather, one made in all seriousness as soon as he found out why Sarah Jay was so hungry to earn.
Stung Errol’s pride something fierce, any fool with eyes could’ve seen it. This on top of the caribou steak made for a vicious one-two punch, one Howie delivered without batting an eye. Don’t know what happened between the two of them over those short three weeks together, or how they could fall out so quickly and not even try to hash it out, and Howie didn’t seem interested in mending fences with the man. Fact was, he seemed done with Sarah Jay too, offering the money as a way to cut ties with a clean conscience, because that’s just how Howie was. Would grumble and grouse about every little thing, but he’d still help wherever he could, because underneath his tough, uncaring exterior was a big ol’ softie who cried the first time his daddy took him out hunting because he didn’t want to shoot no cute bunny.
Tina didn’t envy Sarah Jay her precarious position, doing her damnedest to maintain the peace between her man and her childhood hero, but luckily, Errol and Howie were content to simply ignore each other’s existence for the most part. There were plenty of other more welcome guests, like Antoni who came in hot with a hug for Howie, or Michael and Gabrielle who paused their all too intense staring contest to check in with the gang. Kacey showed up with a gift for Tina and Chrissy, hair pins decorated like flowers in blue and violet, a sweet gift from a sweet girl who Tina adored. Couldn’t say the same about Noora, who slipped in while Mama wasn’t looking to gave Howie a hug that was none too chaste as Josie and her friends stood close by and giggled their brains away. They were only a year younger than Tina was, so why did they seem so much more immature? A mystery for the ages that one, but she didn’t have the heart or desire to investigate, and instead trusted Howie to be a gentleman, in spite of how he looked coming down the stairs of that saloon in Pleasant Dunes.
All in all, Tina believed his story, if only because it sounded so farfetched. Still, she couldn’t help but wonder why he’d let Noora mess his clothes up so much, especially since there wasn’t no need to go so far just to sell a story…
The night wore on and Howie soldiered through, smiling a familiar faces and chatting with anyone who stopped by. Danny paid them a visit with his sisters in tow, while his mama hung back and looked appalled and ashamed, followed by the Padre who waxed poetic for a good quarter hour about redemption and recovery. All Howie did was nod in silence, and eventually even the Padre had to give up and walk away, only to be replaced by flirty Miss Dawson who dropped in to see why her best customer hadn’t been around in awhile. Miss Shirley from the pub gave Howie a big hug, while Rudy from the gun range said he’d be happy to lend Howie a few left-handed rifles to practice with until he got his own, and still more people came by to offer support and condolences, to show that Howie wasn’t entirely alone.
No matter who it was, Howie greeted them warmly with a sad little smile that was all the more heartbreaking for being entirely genuine. He appreciated their support, but deep down, he believed it wasn’t necessary. He’d never give up on his dream of being the Firstborn, but he also didn’t think he would ever succeed, and Tina didn’t know how to rekindle the fire inside him.
Man wasn’t even getting into no fights anymore, though Lord knows there were those who deserved it. Like Gabe and Steve, along with the rest of their cronies who went on and on about they’d be working for racist Richard’s racist daddy after Basic was done. They hung out nearby and looked ready to start something, but Howie put them in their place with little more than a glare. One that promised pain and worse, only time was, he would’ve welcomed the fight with a big smile on his face before laying a beatdown on them fools. Gabe and Steve didn’t have courage enough to face Abby with a full company of Rangers supporting them, so of course they didn’t have the stones to take on Howie?
Was almost a miracle really. Six weeks or so in town without so much as a scuffle, which had to be a new record for Howie, but Tina knew he was hurting real bad, and his way of coping was putting that hurt into others. Not the best way to go about it, but still better than bottling everything up inside, which was what it looked like he was doing now.
Round about eight was when Howie called it a night, claiming he was tired and headed home for bed, and Tina went along with him and Chrissy. Was in no mood to celebrate her birthday with friends, not with the Advent Anniversary being a day of mourning more than anything else. A terrible day for a birthday, all things considered, but Tina didn’t mind it all too much. Doubly so when they got home and Howie took a seat on the porch bench before indicating for Tina to come sit down beside her. Chrissy was already sitting, clutching his right arm close like she always did when they’d just come out of a crowd, and Howie gave her a few minutes to come out of her shell before revealing why they were all sat out here on the porch.
Reaching under the bench, he pulled out a bag with two wrapped boxes inside, and handed the first over to Chrissy. “Happy Birthday,” he said with a smile, looking like a proud papa himself as Chrissy carefully opened her gift with rarely seen gusto. Inside was a mini projector mounted on a silver medallion, like what he used to project Photos and notes on his wagon. “Now you can look at Photos whenever you like, Princess,” Howie said, even though Chrissy had figured it out for herself and had already activated her gift to look through the images stored inside. “It even plays music and shines lights, though the last bit is Ben Franklin rather than Issac Newton.”
Raising an eyebrow in question, Tina met Howie’s eyes as he clarified, “Mundane, rather than magical.” That wasn’t what she wanted to ask though, and he knew as much, was just avoiding it altogether. Tina didn’t let up though, so eventually, he pursed his lips, shrugged, and nodded ever so slightly, confirming that the Silent Image Spell Core in Chrissy’s gift had come off his wagon. Might not seem like much, but it was just another way Howie was slowly and quietly giving up on his dream, dismantling the tools he used to make a life out on the Frontier. Reading the pain in her eyes, Howie shook his head, smiled, and handed her the second box. “Now, don’t be jealous Chrissy,” he began, speaking to her even though she was lost in the iridescent image of jaibex on a mountain ledge. “But truth is, your gift was mostly practice for making Tina’s gift.”
“Okay Howie.” Sweet girl that she was, Chrissy took the prompt seriously and even put away her projector for a moment to see what Tina got. Taking that as her cue, she opened her gift with far less care than Chrissy had shown. Tearing aside the wrapping paper, Tina found a lovely velvet jewellery box inside, like what you’d see in the windows of them fancy stores on the thoroughfare. Even popped open like one with brass hinges and everything, and inside sat a beautiful silver pendant of a round kiccaw with its chest puffed and wings outstretched.
“I love it,” Tina whispered, running her finger over the little birdie and feeling the hum of Aether contained within. “…What’s it do?”
She couldn’t tell, not like Chrissy could, and she knew better than to Actuate a Spell Core without knowing what it did first. “A pendant on a chain,” Howie supplied, which was none too helpful, but he refused to be rushed as he picked it up and Conjured a Mage Hand to help her put it on. “The birdie there is just the Actuator though. The real gift is still in the box, which ain’t just to hold yer jewellery. Open it up.”
Tina lifted up the padded interior to reveal the inner workings of an Artifact more compact and complicated than anything she’d ever seen. Wasn’t simple and intuitive like the recording medallion Howie kept on his hatband, or large and sprawling like the makeshift Mage Armour Artifact he worked up on the way to Pleasant Dunes. No, this was some real professional work, an array with Runes so tiny she could barely even see them, all planned and laid out with care and precision beyond the simple devices Howie had made before.
Was breathtaking to see how much progress he’d made in only a few short weeks, and she said as much. “I didn’t actually plot out the array,” Howie admitted, which was a tacit admission of having Etched the whole thing, with only his left hand no less. Can’t make an Etch with a Mage Hand, as it had to be flesh and blood making the connection, meaning he’d learned and adapted in only a few short weeks. “Got a list of optimal Metamagics from big Alfred, and Danny helped plan out most of it, but truth is, I still don’t entirely understand how or why it works. Too complicated for me, as I’m still stuck on the basics, but a few more weeks of study ought to get me there.”
“Still haven’t told me what it is,” Tina said, impatient as ever and unwilling to sit through a lecture of Aetheric Dynamics.
“Mm, best you try it for yourself and see.” Pointing at a lacquered copper cable, Howie said, “Take that cord there, and fix it to the back of the birdie pendant. Clunky, I know, but if you can sit down with Chrissy and figure out how she Acuates Artifacts without having to touch them, then we can reconfigure how it works without the cord or pendant.”
“Like this,” Chrissy said, holding out her box with her new medallion still inside before holding her other hand a good six inches over it. Didn’t do nothing physically, but Tina saw how Chrissy took hold of the Aether flows and gave ‘em a good metaphysical yank to get the projector started. Again, the jaibex appeared above the medallion in all its glory, with the music playing and lights shining all the while.
Had no earthly idea how it was even possible, but Tina couldn’t deny what she was seeing, while all Howie could see was the results. “Thanks so much Chrissy,” he said, his tone patient without spilling over into patronizing. “I can’t see what you see though, so do you think you could you use your words and explain what you’re doing?”
Bless her heart, Chrissy cocked her head and thought about it for all of three seconds before giving up and saying, “No.”
“Well, thanks for trying,” Howie said with a smile, one he shared with Tina as he got back to business. “Failing that, you’ll have to put up with the wire. Ideally, you’d wear the pendant under your collar and flush against your skin, but for now you can just tap it with your hand.” Even saying that much made Howie blush, but before she could make fun of him, he rallied and pushed on. “The box is just to hold the Core and Aether tank, but the Actuator is where the Spell is localized, so make sure the pendent is sitting close to the hollow of your neck, ‘cause that’s where I calibrated it for.”
An awful lot of specifics to adhere to, but Tina found that the pendant sat perfectly where Howie said it should, as the fine steel link chain was just the right length. With his go ahead, she Actuated the Core and gasped as a soft, shimmering disc of translucent, blue-white light manifested about a foot in front of her. No, not just a disc, but a protective plate that was more solid and defined than she’d ever seen it before, with a palpable substance to it that wasn’t there before. She’d seen that glowing disc many a time, first on Uncle Ming’s wrist than later on Howie’s, a spectral Shield taking form to protect them in a firefight, and now it was hanging there in front of her. Perfectly positioned mind you, covering her head and upper body while leaving her free to shoot from the hip without firing through the Shield.
Even though he’d seemingly given up all hope for his own recovery, Howie was still doing his best to protect her, because that’s what big brothers do.
“No! I told you to hang onto this for yourself,” Tina sobbed, tears streaming down her cheeks as she tried to take the pendant off, but Howie placed his hand over hers and she couldn’t bring herself to fight him.
“That’s back when you thought I’d be getting shot at every other day.” Howie’s smile was warm and full of love, but hiding all his pain and sorrow underneath. “Won’t be much of that anymore. Promise. You the one who’s gonna be out there now, so best you use this instead of letting it go to waste, specially now that it got so many extra Metamagics attached to it.” Leaning forward, he touched his forehead to hers and held it there for all of a second before backing away, which wasn’t long enough by half. “Besides,” he added, his smile growing wider and faker as he forced levity into the conversation. “Wouldn’t want to waste all of Danny’s hard work that went into making this, now would we?”
Tina couldn’t help but laugh though the tears, and consoled herself by leaning on his shoulder while he explained the ins and outs of how it worked and what to watch out for in terms Spell tolerance, time limits, and general wear and tear. She did her best to listen, she really did, because this was important stuff that could mean the difference between life and death out there. Even then, she couldn’t help but zone out as she listened to Howie talk and thought about how to reignite the fire inside him, only to come up empty on all fronts.
For now. She’d think of something soon enough. If not today, then tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after next. Eventually, an idea would come, and it might even work out, but so long as she never stopped trying, then it was only a matter of time before she got him back on his feet again. He was Howie Zhu, the Firstborn of this here Frontier, and even though he thought he was down and out, she knew there was no quit in him. None whatsoever, no matter how he might feel right now, so Tina would hold onto the Shield Core his mama gave him for now, and give it back when he was feeling like the Firstborn again.
No. Not again, because he still was the Firstborn even now. The loss of a hand was just a minor setback, one he’d bounce back from in no time at all. Was a matter of confidence is all, and he’d find it soon enough, because historically, Howie’s issues with confidence stemmed from an overabundance of, rather than a lack thereof, so Tina was sure he’d find his footing soon enough. All he needed was someone to lean on for a bit is all, and soon as he realized that, then she’d be right here to help prop him up.
Because that’s what family do. They stick together, and Howie was family through and through.