Chapter 13: Pratfall

“Footsteps on the stairwell,” Riley reached out to Tobias, who crouched beside her.

Silently, he nodded as his black blade dagger appeared in his left hand.

It had been a long night.

“First time in hours,” Tobias whispered back, over their soul connection.

“We got at least two hours of unbroken sleep,” Riley confirmed.

“Not bad, considering,” Tobias grinned.

“But why the long pause throughout the night? Most people would think that was the best time for an ambush?” Riley stood up on her hindpaws, reaching out to the seeds in front of the door.

Their potential whispered back to her in readiness like a gentle song.

“That means they know our patterns and were trying to keep us awake. We’re normally up by 2,” Tobias replied.

Riley cocked her head as a rogue giggle floated between her and Tobias, “We’ll we’re about to find out. What does it say about us that we’re armchair quarterbacking our potential capture and ambush?”

“That this game has gotten far too old, so let’s not go quietly,” Tobias set his jaw and touched his obsidian torc with his free hand as if confirming it was still there.

“I hear keys. They’re being real careful,” Riley craned her ears forward, all while keeping the mana stoked for the seeds.

With a thunk, the lock disengaged, and Tobias tensed, ready to pounce from their spot in the corner; they both looked away, shutting their eyes tight while Riley flattened her ears.

A loud pop, like a firecracker, went off as a bright flash filled the room. Riley felt as much as heard the sound roll through her, as deeper instincts caused her legs to tense, urging her to run.

‘Loud!’ She complained within, shunting the nervous energy.

“By the dead gods!” General Ecbert cried as he fell back through the door, landing with a wet and sickening plop in something piled up outside the door.

Tobias stopped, dropping back into a defensive stance in front of Riley as he heard the general’s voice.

“Oh shit... Wait, what smells like shit?” She scanned around only to see Ecbert on top of a large pile of manure that had piled up outside their door.

“What is the meaning of this, pets!” General Ecbert roared on his back, struggling like a flipped tortoise.

Setting his hands to either side, he went to push himself up, only to slip and fall back into the fetid pile.

Tobias remained at readiness as he struggled to hold the rising torrent of laughter bubbling up from within.

Meanwhile, Riley was quivering, laughing loudly within her own mind.

“Sir,” Tobias paused, chuckling under his breath, only to squelch the rogue laughter, “we were locked in, so we were hoping you would tell us.”

He continued to convulse, using every bit of his self-control to hold himself back while Riley lost the battle.

Falling to her back, she flailed all four paws in the air, writhing with bemusement.

Tobias, pulling on their entwined connection, dumped his own rampaging tide of laughter onto Riley, using her like a relief valve.

‘Stop...’ She shrieked within, ‘I can’t breathe...’

A torrent of wild, cackling laughter echoed between her and Tobias as a rogue grin spread across his face.

General Ecbert finally got himself righted with his armor dripping with a brown and black foulness that could be felt as much as smelled or seen.

It danced like a miasma before Riley’s sensitive nose, inspiring it to twitch, which only fanned the flames of her laughter higher.

General Ecbert was seething with a barely constrained rage, his shoulders rising and falling with his breath as he stared with murderous intent toward the two.

A familiar small crystal bottle appeared in his left hand. With deft action from his thumb, he popped the cork and dumped the contents over his head.

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A frothing white foam covered him for an instant and then ate into the pile at his feet before vanishing, leaving only a sweet, minty smell behind.

With his now free hand, he swung the door wide to reveal, in bright red letters, “USURPERS” scrawled across it.

As Tobias caught sight of the words, it hit Riley like a bucket of cold water, freezing her humor into silence.

“You both will explain, now!” General Ecbert growled.

Tobias fell to attention, “General, sir, starting at about six bells last night after we were secured in our billeted quarters, a loud banging was heard, and then continued at random intervals until Half Night. Having been ambushed within supposedly secure fortifications before, Riley and I prepared for an ambush.”

Ecbert, breathing slowly, scanned their room only to see the table on their bed, with their bedrolls in the corner beside the door.

“And you did not take down the door and charge out because?” He asked, with a strange kind of delicate patience.

“Because we were locked in, sir. There’s no reason to go looking for trouble when it’s found you. We established a defensive perimeter and held the line throughout the night,” Tobias explained while Riley watched warily, ready for any surprise.

“And the booby traps? Why not rely on your magic?” Ecbert asked, his tone approaching curiosity.

“A Ranger uses every tool at their disposal, sir! Relying solely on one method makes you predictable. Being predictable will get you killed, sir!” Tobias replied in perfect parrot of his training.

He glowered a moment in confusion, “Blackblade doctrine, I take it.”

Tobias barked out proudly, “Yes, sir!”

“So you don’t trust us, is what you’re saying. You wait in the dark with your second-tier tactics, spoiling for a fight,” he said evenly, more as a question than a challenge.

“We’re rangers, sir; we don’t trust where it hasn’t been well earned. We’re in unfamiliar territory in an unfamiliar situation. That’s reason enough for caution. Especially given that we were locked in and could not verify the situation outside,” Tobias stood at attention with all the seriousness of a man awaiting final judgment.

Riley noticed that Ecbert’s face looked briefly pained before returning to his stoic demeanor.

“Follow me,” he ordered calmly, turning from the door, “and do mind your step. It’s a mess out here.”

Riley stretched out her forepaws over their bedrolls as they both vanished, appearing back in their inventory space as Tobias glanced outside.

“Into my arms. You don’t want to hop through this,” he said, holding out his hands.

Riley leapt into his embrace as Tobias stalked out through what remained of the fetid pool, pausing only to let Riley loose at the top of the stairs.

“Thank you,” she pushed against his legs in gratitude before falling in behind him as they ventured down.

The sounds of myriad conversations bubbled up from the stairwell, but all fell silent as they came into view upon the first floor, all eyes turning towards them.

“Keep up, you two. We’ve business in Castle Cinder,” General Ecbert said, with, if not more respect, at least a greater decency than he had shown prior.

'Did we impress him or something?' Riley whispered.

'I’ll take it, regardless,' Tobias replied.

There in the crowd, eyes went wide as they heard his words, as people parted, making way.

It was a cool morning on the parade ground of Castle Cinder. Tobias looked up only to see that there was no sun.

There was every indication of daylight: blue sky, with scattered grey clouds stretching out towards the horizon, yet there was no source of light or a source for the relative warmth, even as boots crunched on the frosted grass.

'This place is weird,' Riley said, keeping Ecbert out of the loop.

'There’s no cadets out training either. The parade ground is empty. It’s eerily quiet out here,' Tobias observed.

Riley’s ears swiveled as she looked to her sorcerer with worry, 'There’s still plenty of ways for them to ambush us, be ready!'

Ecbert, maintaining his strange silence, turned towards the castle, heading for its main entrance, all while a cloaked Greyblade seemed to be coming right for them.

Her figure was long and lithe; she stood almost six feet tall with a willowy, ethereal beauty. Silver blond hair spilled from her cloak and down her shoulders, cascading like a waterfall.

As she approached the general, she lowered her hood, revealing sapphire blue eyes that glowed like strange ice against the backdrop of her warm almond-colored skin.

“Ranger Haley, move us,” was all Ecbert said as reality warped and distorted around them; the world blurred into a million colors as the sensation of being central to a whirlwind caused Riley to flatten her ears and shut her eyes, all as she felt Tobias stomach tense, in concert with her own.

For a moment, it seemed that reality had turned itself inside out. Up was down, and down was up, until suddenly she found herself upon warm black sand that stood out in jarring contrast to the frozen grass a moment ago.

“Oh gods, gonna hurl...” Riley whimpered as the world returned to sense and, with it, the reek of sulfur.

“I always heard Morodor was nice this time of year,” she snarked as a wave of heat thundered over them.

“From winter to summer,” Tobias panted, feeling like he had walked into Justinan’s forge works.

“That’s Venoismoor, son; you’ll find your trial there,” General Ecbert pointed as Riley choked on his words.

'What does he mean, son? Why’s he being so nice all of a sudden?' She scoffed over their bond, doing her level best to keep her hindpaw out of her mouth.

“Venoismoor?” Tobias held out his hand as Riley scanned around.

A black-spired castle was before them, seemingly carved wholesale out of an obsidian block. Orange lights traced through the stone that appeared to be arteries. They pulsed with light, brightening and dimming as if the walls were breathing, and some strange central heart circulated some manner of blood that ran through the matte black yet glassy stone.

Six towers jutted up into the now night sky, craggy and sharp, betraying the same strange orange lines that coursed through the walls; they all connected to a central spire, with an irregular spiked top that resembled predatory teeth, with its maw open to consume the sky.

“Yes, Venosicipher’s castle, it spawned here in Avalon with Chadrick’s ascension. We sent Page Westphalia in on his trial, but he has not returned and is presumed dead. Your orders are to find his body if you can and return with it after destabilizing the crystal that is anchoring it to Avalon. I want it gone. If you survive, you’ve passed. May Galdor's luck go with you,” with a nod to Haley, they both suddenly vanished, leaving Riley and Tobias alone before the castle with a strange box left in their wake, six feet long, made of a matte black wood, shaped like a large shipping crate.

You have been left an astral coffin. This will allow you to store a dead body within your inventory space.

“Shit,” Riley sighed.