Hi, Hi, Tsuyokami dess, and I am here to tell you about my super, romanticu, exciting, crazy monogatari-desswa, so….let’s start-janai des ka.
“Well, how should I start, Kyaaa!! I’m embarassed, this is my first time having to do something in front of an audience, so…please be gentle”
“Don’t you feel ashamed, putting up this act, are you the type to sell a kingdom, make your friends stepping stones, kill your daughter to stay an alchemist, to finally say out loud “I LOVE HUMANNITY!!” , you freaking murderer!!!!” say a bloody one eyed, winged mascot rabbit.
“Sorry, a self proclaimed psycho fucker right”
“sorry….. I promise that I will change, so, don’t be angry onii-chan”
“oni-chan?!”
“Nahh, onii-chan”
“onii-chan”
“No! WTF, why are you saying it in such a rough tone, drop dead, are you really a mascot, you’re the ultimate mother f**ing never to be forgot shame of mascot’s history, die, die and beg the fate god to destroy your existence, that’s the best thing you could do”
“B, but, but I can’t…. I mean, in the end,….mascote no oôu ore wa naru des mono ne”
“Can you go fuck your freaking mother self with that shitty bullshit, please”
“Well, I would do it if I can, but is it even possible?!”
“I tried it it yesterday so there should be no problem, I think”
“….Bah! talking with you is always as exhausting as the most exhausting thing is, you really never learn man, by the way shouldn’t you start by introducing yourself, that’s common sense I think when meeting someone for the first time or when starting a story”
“You basically mean “You freaking incompetents, don’t you know any other way of starting a story other than this, originality please” that’s it right
for being able to decipher a code
You get bonus stats
+10 int
+10 wis
“Don’t mind the small details” said the happy looking kawaii abomination a murderer softly like a true anime char should do (MOEEE!!!!)
“Mah, whatever I guess….”
Hi, Tsuyokami des, and like said before I’m a true prideful psycho murderer, this year I will be 14, yep, just like a much loved and hated guy, you all know too well, and by a strange, or is it? Well either way, so by a strange turn of fate I too I’m a beta tester, just like jesus-kun hurray!! But while Deus Ex Machina-sama was but a beta-tester, I’m an Alpha and an Omega tester(note that this is complete bs omega test doesn’t exist) so I’m practically god in this game, What game is it? Well it’s FSK, pretty familiar right cough A certain Darknym also labeled luckiest guy in the world who make the author forget about his actual growth rate giving him even more inflicted stats and making him completely forget the rule that is it’s harder to get stats as they grow which means books and spells give less int when this one goes up to 3 digits, well that was long for a cough, either way cough, but don’t worry, it’s nothing like that, FSK is the abbreviation of First Serial Killer (lollllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!), now jokes aside, this game is completely made for me, other than me being a psycho male bitch, the system is just too awesome, it’s just that killing a player give you 0.1 per cent more stat, by the way the problem of changing equips is not a problem as the buff is casted on you after you change equips, example: you are wearing a noob set and you killed ten motherfuckers, meaning you have a 1 per cent buff to all stats (special included) you change equips, the buff is gone for 0.0000000000000001s ( don’t worry I won’t make the mc so op or so lucky that he osed his enemy in that lapse of time, it’s because I just used this to make the example clearer and nothing else) and then reapplied after the new stats being saved(I’m just saying complete bs as I don’t have even one per cent exp in game mechanics), so in the omega test as the super psycho that I am, I just killed every little player in 40 km round when the game first started te-he, and afterward those guys did something really cruel sniff sniff, they issued a bounty for my head as huge as a 500 freaking gold, man at the time I even considered killing myself to get it but oh well what can I say, I saw too many things in this world to make that decision (say the 13 year old guy), but you should probably have misunderstood something, that 500 gold they didn’t have it by changing real money for in-game currency, in fact that’s impossible, for fairness’s sake the developers made it impossible to do that on the first month(the omega test took 3 months and the Alpha 2 months ), so to have that amount was only possible by making a coalition between tons of players, and those were, of course the 2000 victim of mine, but man!! Those were the good days, in lower levels, the hp is always low as fuck making it as easy as easy can be killing other players, so I just ran around killing every living creature I see in mere seconds, I mean, man!! I have the element of surprise here, I mean how much cautious you need to be around a 13 year old chick looking guy, well I’m insulting myself here but whatever, it’s not like I think that me being a maso would turn you on, baka blush, so that’s how I have been killing idiot everywhere just happily running around like a just have been freed princess and have a innocence aura around you, and so I have been enjoying my killing spree for 26 hours straight, you will say why didn’t I go get some lvls first, I would reply to your dumb question by giving you two little facts.
1st if I just started lvling up I’m bound to have someone with a better hunting ground than me, meaning I would just lose the edge that I had when the game first started.
2nd when lvl start going up so does the other idiot’s hp, meaning it would take way more time to kill them, and they would do some dmg to me as I don’t care how low their IQ is, it’s impossible to be at sitting ducks lvl, or maybe it is, whatever, I will test that out sometime later, ah and before I forget, by letting those idiots lvl up hunting them would be too much trouble for me to do,a nd won’t be as efficient as killing them first thing
3rd sorry I said two but in fact there is 3, and the 3rd one would be that they all thought that no one would go on a killing spree on the first day.
Now returning to my little killing spree and how I felt while cutting necks left and right. When I first started the game, I checked my inventory took my noob sword out, started running like a ninja, noticed a dumb NPC looking player, did my whole play with the sword hidden in my pants, taunted him like a monster, and just when he got close his head felt down, and that’s the sad repeated story that happened times and times again with different actors and different numbers, just like higurashi’s little curse, such a sad story sniff sniff.
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
So after killing a total of 2000 idiot respawn included (this guy just went all the way thinking that they are monsters)in 26 short hours, ah the number might not seem like a lot considering the time I needed to kill them all so I’ll help you a little, let’s say at first I found a group of 5 every 5 min(think about it there is no pk safe area, meaning there won’t be that much large groups, so that no one goes wild killing everyone like a kamikaze, and of course he won’t go to a place like the market where there is tons of player, but will all kill him the moment he unleash his sword) and that contunied for like 10 it take around 30 seconds killing them all, and another 30s getting rid of battle evidences(blood, broken material,….)so all in all he get to kill 5 bitches every 6 min, so it’s 50 every hour, and then it’s 500 in the first 10 hours, afterward rumors will start spreading like H1N1, and the idiots will become cautious, so now he find group of 10 every 15 min, this time it’s a little challenging, so it take him around 7 min to clean up the mess, this time he doesn’t care about battle evidences as rumors already started spreading, it continue for another 10 hours until finally a bell rung out, and then a loud voice shouted telling everyone to go to the market place, where there is most NPC and players, units of 20 each will be deployed searching for mount city’s murder ghost.
Tsyokami also went to the market place where he touched everybody, causing them 1 hp dmg, normally this dmg ratio was there just for the developer’s fun, but in the end it was used by the hand of the devil, as he touched everyone he went for the city gates begging for help from the guards telling them that the ghost is gonna kill him, the most idiotic NPCs believed him, and told him to show the way of course he just went to a ragged house, made them enter, took off some bricks he already weakened before searching for the idiots, the mini house crumbled killing every motherf**ing asshole in its inside, then he started crying like a baby making the watch tower anxious.
Usually the watchtowers are archers, so their def and hp suck as much as suck can be, normally one good strike for someone on the same lvl in a vital point will kill them, but for the little Tsuyokami, it was a little bit trickier, there is a 30 lvl diff between them, this kind of wall isn’t something classes can destroy, so this time he went for something simple. When archer n1 came asking him what’s happening, he immediately kicked him right in the balls, stunning him for 2 seconds, he cut his neck with one hand, while the other went for his arrows, he took a bunch at once, and then again he cut his neck with knife, afterward he struck the bunch of arrows in his left eye making him scream like if he was watching a horror movie, then he cracked his neck making bend in a strange way, until finally he smashed his head in the floor, while it took time describing this scene, in fact it was all under the 5 seconds time limit, barely, but still, so now only one archer was up in the watchtower so he just took a bunch of arrows and started aiming at the motherfucker, while saying watch tower, it do seem that it’s way too tall making it’s end barely visible, but in fact it was no higher than 4 meter tall, so out of the ten arrows he fired only 3 missed their target, making the poor archer like Swiss cheese, not that he died but still the shock and the dmg kept his mouth shut for few seconds, just barely enough time for Tsu-kun to send the second package of lovely dopey death messengers, and that’s how the poor archer n2 died.
Now that he got his own little watchtower, those idiots are as good as dead, once his plan starts that is.
Tsuyokami after a long laugher finally retook control of his senses, and drew his bow, he aimed at the market place and gave the idiot player a shower of arrows, many died bcuz of this surprise attack but that’s not his goal. He continued showering them with his poor archery skills, wasting tons of arrow, if any novice archer saw this rampage, he would probably shed tears of blood, but even worse skills would have did the job, bcuz wt he wanted wasn’t kills, well not now at least, but panic, yes panic spread like an epidemic between players and NPCs alike, one could a symphony of cries of distress, and shouts of anger, one could see merchant, nurses, farmers, running wild only caring about their lives , boys and girls standing still crying for help, and players kicking them like soccer balls so that they can get away from this hell (well is it?! u guys really need to see abyss in Ark).
Tsu-kun waited for this moment, the moment when all idiots will run wild and ALONE, yes alone, that’s the most important detail, of course some had luckily ran on the same way, but it was no problem as they couldn’t organize their battle stance, so Tsu-kun killed them in a flash, and that’s how he started his hunt again, this time confuse was supreme so it didn’t take as much time as before, and since they all ran away from one place there were no great distance between them, so he could kill 5 guys every 1/1.5 min and that’s how he completed the 2000 kills in 26 hours, but who cares about that, it’s all way in the past, Omega test was it, at that time, he was the true god of the game, everyone was noob, so he easily got up his kills to the hundreds of thousands making it possible for him to go to dungeons 100/150 lvl above him, giving him even more infos, these jewels gave him the little push he needed to become the 1st ranked player in the Alpha test as there was a crazy good guy playing nonstop, making even the devil (tsu-kun) worry for his health, his name was Sora, in the end he said that if it was his little sister who played I would have definitely lost, scaryy, to think that there was someone even crazier than him wow, just Wow, and finally it’s the beta test, there wasn’t that much competition in this one, I think that Sora idiot went for info more than lvls, meaning he was probably stuck in a bar for the full 3 months, and coincidently today is the last one for the test.