Those two weeks were great. Levi saw all his friends and family again, falling back into his old routines. It was like he'd never left. The moment he'd been waiting for the most came when his older brother, Joe, showed up on Christmas Eve.

He was upstairs when he heard the lock rattle and the door swing open. Then his mom was calling from the entryway.

"Joe! Hey everyone it's Joe! Come here and give me a hug."

He was down the steps in a moment.

"Joe." He grabbed his brother in a bear hug.

"Hey, Levi, good to see you. Woah, easy, let me put my stuff down and then you've got to tell me all about New York."

Then the rest of the family was there, his two sisters jumping all over him calling "Hey, Joe," “Hi," "Did you get us anything? Did you bring any of your friends with you?" "Look how big I've gotten."

"Anne," his father said, coming in behind, "he saw you two weeks ago, you haven't grown a bit since then. And Katie, even if he did bring his friends they are way too old for you. Welcome home Joseph, it's good to see you."

It was chaos.

###

That evening, after the girls were in bed, while his parents played Santa, he and Joe stayed up talking.

"So, how's New York treating you?"

"Oh good," Levi said, trying to play it cool, "I mean, it's been tough being so far from everyone, but I'm getting by. Did you hear what happened to my plane?"

"I don't think anyone in the county could have missed that. Mom freaked. She was telling the world how you almost died, and how you were driving cross country with a bunch of strangers. She was sure her baby was going to get mugged, raped, then cut up for organs. I told her you were good. I mean, you don't have anything, who would want to rape you, and really, your organs are probably no good anyway."

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"What'd she say to that?"

"She hit dad with the broom."

"What?"

"Well, I was on Zoom and dad was right there. I don't think she really meant it, but it was fun seeing her freak. You know how Mom gets."

He laughed, yeah he did know.

"So really though, close call. Still, I never pegged you as the road trip type. It go okay?"

"Yep, didn't get mugged once."

"Cool. You driving back too?”

“Yeah, I know it was a freak accident and all but I don't think I really want to fly for a while. Besides, I kinda like the guys I drove with.”

There wasn't much else said, nothing important, they never really talked about their feelings or anything mushy, but with Joe it didn't matter, not for Levi anyway, they just sat and talked long into the night.

###

As Levi lay there later that night, waiting for sleep, he thought about his last semester, Joe, and why he’d gone to the east coast in the first place. He remembered a dozen conversations with his mom that all went the same way.

"Why don't you just stay close by?" she'd asked. "There are some great local schools, or you could go to Denver if you want to get out of the house. I think you'd really like Denver."

"No, it's not that, I just think I need to get away for awhile. I want to prove myself, y'know."

"But, why?” she’d persisted. “Most of your friends are staying nearby, it'll save money, and with everything else changing, at least you'll be around things that are familiar."

… And you're no Joe …

She hadn't said it, but he felt it, he always felt it. Joe’s outgoing. Joe’s confident. Joe always knows what to say. No, she didn’t have to say it, the tone of her voice said it for her. She didn't have any worries when Joe went to Italy on spring break, just asked him to pick her up something fun.

He loved Joe, just as much as the rest of them did. He was a great brother, and Levi wanted to be just like him, but man he hated living in his shadow.

###

The whole vacation was great. It was amazing being back with family, doing all their Christmas things, laughing, and getting fat on Christmas cookies.

Still, everything he did felt forced. Always in the back of his mind he knew his time here was vanishing, like the last rays of sunlight before the night. He was surprised by the intensity of the feeling. It would come on him strongest in those moments of darkness before sleep, when the cooking, laughing, talking, and everything else had faded and he was left alone. He had a lingering feeling too, that this was the last time he would be a child in this home and it scared him.