So... I died...

'I expected a little bit more from death thought...'

HOH HOH HOH HOH

'... Santa?'

WRONG! I AM STAN!

'... What?"

*Dramatic sound effects*

I AM STAN!!!

'I get that part, what I don't get is why I am in a refreshingly chilly desert.'

WHAT?! HOW COULD YOU NOT BE AMAZED TO BE IN THE PRESENCE OF ME! THE GREAT STAN!!!

'It is mostly because I can't see your glorious-ness, or anything other than this cool place.'

*SIGH!!!*

Okay the reason you are here is because you were a piece of shit...

'...'

Aren't you going to cut me off and object to being a piece of shit?

'Nope. I was Evil. Ah I still remember my first thievery, it was my baby cousin, she was around 8 or 9 and I was 12, I said that my sister was selling her super special brow fixer or something and then manipulated her into believing she needed to get her-

ENOUGH YOU SCOUNDREL! I HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR BRAGGING! I AM HERE TO TELL YOU YOUR PUNISHMENT AND LEAVE TO MY HOT DEVIL WIFE!

'Well why didn't you do that from the start then? Rather than trying to impress me?'

... I WISH I WAS ALLOWED TO TEAR YOUR SOUL INTO PIECES AND THEN BURN THE PIECES THAT REFORM, THEN POUR ACID WHEN YOU REFORMED AGAI-

'Yes, yes, big bad demon wants to punish me for my arrogance. But one thing I don't get is why I am in hell, I saved a little girl from getting hit by a truck, right? And I accepted Jesus and whatnot at that second, sooo...'

... FIRST OF ALL, YOU DID NOT SAVE THAT GIRL, SHE WOULD HAVE JUMPED BACKWARDS AT THE LAST SECOND AND GET MINOR INJURIES, BUT WITH YOUR ACT OF 'HEROISM' BY BRUTALLY SPRINT-KICKING HER TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROAD SHE HIT HER HEAD ONTO THE PAVEMENT AND WENT INTO A COMA THAT SHE WOULD WAKE UP WHEN SHE REACHED AGE 19 WHICH WOULD BE LONG PAST THE TIME HER PARENTS DIED AND HER ONLY LIVING RELATIVE, HER OLDER SISTER, WOULD BE STUCK IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH AN ABUSIVE AND PERVERTED HUSBAND, A RELATIONSHIP THAT BROKE HER SENSE OF SELF WORTH AND WILL... THING WHAT WOULD HAPPEN WHEN A WEAK WOMAN WITH A 9 YEAR OLD'S MENTALITY BEING STUCK IN A HOUSE WITH SOMEONE LIKE THAT GUY AND HER ONLY PROTECTION BEING SOMEONE WORSE THAN HER?

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

'What about the Jesus thing?'

... YOU JUST DON'T GIVE A SHIT DO YOU?

'And you just love not answering my questions don't cha?'

*SIGH*

ACCEPTING JESUS OF THAT PASTA GOD DOESN'T MATTER IN YOUR UNIVERSE, THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IS YOUR ACTIONS. AND EVEN THOUGH YOU DIED DOING SOMETHING 'GOOD' YOU ARE STILL A PIECE OF SHIT SO... WELCOME TO HELL!!!

'Well I looked around and so far have to admit that this place doesn't seem like really hellish to me'

YES, NORMALLY THIS PLACE COULD EVEN BE CONSIDERED HEAVEN FOR CERTAIN PEOPLE IN THE DEEPER LEVELS. ANYWAYS I SAID WHAT I NEEDED TO SAY SO GOOD RIDDANCE TO YOU!

'Huh?'

Suddenly our MC felt a slight pain in his stomach, similar to gas pain, then that pain rose to cover his whole being which made him finally realize that this really might be hell and he wasn't just talking to some figment of his imagination. Then he started to feel hot and cold all over and his bones felt like they were breaking.

This pain went on for sometime, time that he couldn't tell due to pain covering his every thought.

Then it was over and he wasn't floating anymore and was on the ground and cold as Fuck! He tried to rise to his feet before realizing that he wasn't a human anymore. He felt his body and turned as best as he could to take it in and found that his body had a cracks going along it, and they were glowing orange. He also looked like a dog...

"aAWOOOOOOO"

'Yep, dog- or maybe wolf- voice cords too so I can't even curse or lament my-

"AUUUUUUUUUUU"

He turned in the direction of the howl and ran on towards it on instinct, not realizing that if he had moved a second later the mole like creature would take a big bite out of his glowy flesh....