It was a beautiful night; the stars were twinkling like glitter in the inky black sky and me and my mum were surrounded with an excited crowd awaiting the midnight spectacular. My mum was gorgeous, I look a lot like her at least that is what I got told. I don't remember much about her, but I do remember that night, I remember it like it is etched into my memory for all eternity. It started great; we got some fluffy cloud-like violet cotton-candy which made my fingers all sticky but nevertheless we carried on, next we rode some rides together which made me throw up after all the cotton candy, it was vile – the burning in my throat and the taste so mum got me a drink and we sat down for a while. She was so kind and made sure that I was always okay. Did you know that I was only 7? Did you know that it's all my fault that she's gone? People tell me it's not, but she asked me... she asked me if I wanted to leave and I said no... If only I said yes, she might still be here.
What happened next was the worst experience of my life. I heard a crackly deep voice coming over the loudspeaker saying "The Midnight Spectacular is about to start" and I was so excited to see it, I had never seen fireworks before, so I dragged my mum along ignoring her pleas to slow down and soon we were in the middle of the crowd, prime viewing spot I thought and I got ready for it to start. I remember that it felt like hours even though it was only 10 minutes and I was practically vibrating with exhilaration.
If only I knew what was going to happen. If only I said to go home. If only we were further back. I remember someone shouting "run". I remember the high pitched scream that left someone's mouth and I remember thinking it had started to rain but on further inspection, it was blood. Galloons of blood filled the sky and rained down on us as people become fireworks all because of a loose screw holding the platform. However, that wasn't even the worst part, all of a sudden I got yanked behind my mother and I was confused because I didn't understand why so I moved back to see what she saw when a bright flash and loud boom flooded my senses and I collapsed. When I came to, there was death everywhere and red and blue lights filling the sky, I looked to mum for a sense of safety because I was petrified and that's when I saw her or more like what was left of her. My mum was hit was a firework and upon impact it had exploded like a bomb. All that was left was crimson chucks of flesh that made me want to throw up, a scarlet pool of blood and our necklace. We both had the exact same necklace because it was only us two. My dad died when I was 3 and so I was only us for the past four years of my life, with salty warm tears streaming down the sides of my face, I bent down and picked it up griping it tightly in my hand. An officer came over and tried to talk to me, but I couldn't speak. I couldn't believe what had happened. I was alone again.
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The kind officer took me back to the station and let me rest. I think while I was asleep, they did some research on me because once I woke up, they took me to the orphanage. I didn't think in such high regards of the officer anymore after all another person just left me again. The other kids constantly picked on me and called me names like cry-baby and devil child, I never understood why because I never did anything to them, but kids are always cruel. I hated it there but there was nothing I could do except sit and wait. Then one day the orphanage erupted with chaos and I didn't know what was going on because no one had told me, so I went back to my room and ignored them all. I must have fell asleep, but I remember opening my eyes to see some strangers looking down at me and smiling before saying we'll take her and leaving. I didn't understand what was happened and tried to escape but I always got stopped so I stayed in my room and waited for them to "take me".
They finally came back and told me to pack my bag, so I did what they instructed because I was scared of who they were. They took me downstairs and into their car before they turned around in their seat and told me "no need to be afraid darling, we're going to adopt you. We know about your difficult past and decided that you need another family who will love you as much as your mother did", after hearing that I smiled and burst into tears, happy tears.
It took me a while to adjust but once I did, we were exactly like a normal family. We laughed and cried and argued and at times they were strict when they needed to be, I love them, and they will always be my family just like my mum. That was 20 years ago and I'm now 27, I still somewhat blame myself for what happened but I'm in a way better place and I ever paid for a grave for my mum so at least I can go and tell her what's going on in my life even if it isn't in person.