Summers sat below deck, watching one of the still living “skeen” in front of him. It had burrowed into the rest of the large lizard Nowak’s group had brought back. Most of its chest had been carved out, salted, and left aside for rations, but he figured it was whole enough to experiment with.
The insect was as big as Summers’ head, with six long, thin legs that attached to a thorny carapace. Asle hadn’t known much about the creatures, let alone what allowed it to control the bodies of the dead like puppets. But the stories she’d heard in her youth led her to believe it had something to do with the “soul”. All in all, it wasn’t much help.
It had been a few days now since he’d eaten his weight in the insects, which were surprisingly palatable given what they looked, and smelled like.
He’d assumed he’d gain some kind of control over the dead like the creatures seemed to have. While nothing had happened yet, he was at least grateful that he hadn’t sprouted four extra arms.
So, for the last few days he’d been experimenting with the few still living creatures they’d brought along, trying to figure out just how exactly they worked.
He watched as one of the dead lizard’s legs twitched once, then again.
Summers stood immediately, moving over to the partially burrowed insect, and grabbed it before it could react, pulling it from the lizard’s corpse.
It chittered in response, and probably a touch of anger. As he began to move away, the insect’s legs suddenly contracted around his forearm.
He felt something like a jolt, and his hand suddenly relaxed its grip.
“Fuck!”
The creature squirmed free, skittering halfway across the deck before Summers was able to grab it again. This time he kept a firm grip on it as he carefully placed it back into a small, wooden crate.
He flexed the hand that had released the insect. It didn’t feel as if it were hurt. More like he’d just dropped the thing by accident. But it definitely seemed like something was wrong somehow.
“…Huh.”
A sailor moved passed him, looking more than a little nervous. Summers stroked one of the new horns on his head. After the changes had taken root, they’d decided on leaving the city behind as fast as possible. He didn’t want to risk terrifying the local populace. Besides, given what everyone had done to buy up the parts he’d used, they didn’t need to chance any guards or pissed off merchants coming to look for trouble.
He sighed before moving to the lizard’s corpse and placing a hand on it.
“Anything new?” Nowak stepped forward, leaning against the wall of the small stockroom he’d been using for testing.
“Not sure…” Summers answered.
He kept looking at his hand.
If Summers could manage to move something like the bugs did, then logically, he might be able to move the hamr. Or at least, play tug of war with the bits of flesh the hamr was controlling. If he could do that, then he might be able to remove what was in his body.
Summers yawned.
“…Maybe you should get some sleep.” Nowak prodded.
“In a second, I just... I wanted to try some things.” Summers focused on the lizard, trying to will it to move.
Nothing happened.
As he pulled his hand back, the creature’s scales seemed to stick to it for just a moment before they snapped back.
“…huh.”
Summers put a hand on the lizard again. It didn’t stick. But the resistance had felt familiar, like static electricity.
“Summers…” Nowak started.
“Hold on. Just give me a minute.”
Summers poked his head inside the chest cavity of the lizard, looking at where the insect had been nesting. He only just realized it had made a small tunnel towards the creature’s spinal column.
Summers considered that for a moment before he tentatively reached a hand in, wrapping it around the dead lizard’s spine.
It was disgusting.
He focused again like before, and after a moment, he could feel something.
Rather, he felt a little larger. As if his arm extended beyond his fingers.
He released his grip, and his world seemed to shrink again.
“Uh, having fun in there?” Nowak asked.
“No. And stay here for a second. Tell me if something happens.”
Summers grabbed the spine one more time, trying to focus on the feeling.
Again, his body seemed to grow. He focused on the sensation, trying his best to memorize it. It felt worryingly natural to him, as if this was something that was supposed to happen. The oddest part was that he could sense some kind of disparity between his two bodies. While the lizard was more or less uniform, his own body felt like a tapestry of webs. But the moment he looked away, it seemed to fade into the background of his mind.
Eventually, the lizard took on a more solid form, like a branch that extended away from him. He tried to pour his consciousness into the new form and will it to do something.
“Holy shit!” Nowak edged away from the now kicking leg of the lizard. “Yeah, it’s moving.”
Summers let out a small laugh.
At least now he knew it was working.
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Apparently contact with the creature helped but wasn’t necessarily needed. Summers had managed to get a toe moving after a long hour of concentration, if only for a heartbeat.
“So, it worked?” Cortez asked, staring down from the hammock in his cabin.
“Yeah.” Summers answered, distracted.
“And now what are you doing?”
Stolen story; please report.
Summers’ hand hovered over his forearm, trying to sense it much in the same way he had when he’d been looking at the lizard.
“Trying it on myself.”
Of course, he knew his arm was an extension of his body already, but then it wasn’t entirely his body anymore. Earlier he’d sensed something more, something outside of his control. He was trying to connect to that.
After a few minutes, it clicked.
If his body was a dim light, there was a small, thin membrane of a blazing sun just under his skin. He hesitated, then drove a single finger into his forearm.
“Jesus fuck dude.” Cortez shouted, sitting up in her hammock.
“It’s okay, it doesn’t hurt.”
“Not the fucking point.”
Summers ignored her for a moment as he continued to concentrate.
He felt something in the membrane give, and he tried to pull out.
It resisted.
Summers tried to concentrate harder, willing the membrane to pool around his finger. Muscles in his forearms seemed to spasm and twitch as a lump pushed the skin up around his finger. He couldn’t help but notice the smell of burning skin as the small bubble in his arm grew. Another few seconds, and it stopped.
It almost felt as if it were trying to move away. He drove a second finger into the arm, pinching the strange mass.
Then, he pulled.
He tore loose a small clump of black, tumor-like flesh.
“…What the hell is that?” Cortez asked.
“…I have no idea.”
Summers watched the thing in stunned silence before the black clump lunged for him.
“What the shit?!” Summers reeled back as the thing lunged for his face.
He fell on his ass, trying to swat it away.
All he succeeded in doing was flinging the black thing onto the wall beside Cortez.
Wide eyed he watched as she slammed a foot into it, once, twice, she kept going until he put a hand up to stop her. The shoe came back with long, sticky strands of black leading back to a smear on the wall.
“Summers?” Cortez looked at him. “If you throw a monster at my head again, I’m going to kill you.”
“…Fair enough.”
Summers looked at what remained of the tumor on the wall and smiled.
If that was what he thought it was, he might have a way to fix this.
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“It’s not just me, right? This is fucked up.” Nowak cringed as Summers drove another finger into his arm.
Almost immediately he pulled out another slick, black lump of flesh. What he’d come to understand was the hamr. Or at least, a piece of it.
“It’s not just you.” Summers said. “But this isn’t exactly fun for me either.”
In one swift, practiced motion, he tossed it into a small pot he had burning over a torch.
He could hear the ‘pop’ as the creature dissolved inside it.
Throughout the day he’d managed to free his arms from most of the alien tissue, as well as a few other places. Once he’d taken the black flesh out, most of the grey skin had begun tearing off of its own accord. Though it had often left him bloodied for more than a few hours.
It wasn’t the most eloquent of solutions, but it worked.
“Honestly, I kind of like the look.” Cortez watched with an equal mix of disgust and curiosity as Summers more or less dismantled himself.
He’d had to take breaks for eating and drinking, more out of necessity than anything. But since that morning had rolled around, he was doing his best to reclaim just a little bit of his humanity.
“Me too.” Asle agreed.
“Well you two don’t get a vote.” Summers responded, taking a breath. He’d managed to remove most of the grey skin from his forearms, and, thankfully, the horns. But that wasn’t his true goal.
This was practice.
Summers leaned back, staring up at the morning sky.
“I think this stuff is like glue, it’s keeping parts of the monster on me.” Summers explained. “And if I can separate it like this, I can probably take it out of other places. Like my brain.”
“But you’re literally pulling out of yourself. Physically.” Cortez pointed out. “How are you going to do that with your head?”
Summers had thought about that and hadn’t come to any conclusions that didn’t involve cutting his head open. Which was an option, but not a good one.
“About that… I’m open to suggestions.”
Cortez heaved a sigh.
“You’re serious about this?” She started. “Like, you’re willing to do whatever it takes?”
Summers nodded.
“Okay.” Cortez winced. “But I know you’re not gonna like my idea.”
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“All right, let’s do this thing.”
Summers rolled his shoulders, trying to psyche himself up.
After he’d gotten the system down, he’d moved on to the rest of his body.
It had worked surprisingly well, he no longer had to worry about being run out of town, at least. His face was back to its normal, human, and hornless complexion. Even his ears had returned to normal.
He’d decided not to worry about the skin around his torso and legs, for now anyway. He had more pressing issues.
“Ready?” Cortez asked, looking more than a little bothered.
She held a small bent piece of metal they’d fashioned from used brass.
Behind her sat Synel and Nowak, both had come as a show of support for what he was about to attempt. After all, he was about to poke his brain. Even if he was successful, who knew if removing the hamr like this would kill him. It might even be the only thing keeping him alive.
But that was a risk he had to take.
“…Just so we’re clear, I die, you don’t try to bring me back. I get up again, chances are it’s not gonna be me.”
Nowak nodded. Pat, Orvar and the twins stood at the far end of the room with weapons in hand. If things got ugly, he was fairly sure they’d be able to take him out. Or fill him with enough holes that the hamr wouldn’t have much of a body to work with.
If things came to that, they’d probably wreck the boat. But they were close enough to shore that they wouldn’t be in any real danger.
“You’re sure this is the best way to do things?” Synel put a hand on his shoulder.
“It’s either this, or I let it take over my brain.” Summers responded. “So, yeah.”
Synel nodded. Asle gave him a reassuring smile before he turned back to Cortez and took one final breath.
“All right, I’m good. Do it.”
“I know this was my idea, but you come out of this with an eyepatch don’t blame me.” Cortez moved a hand up to Summers head, holding it in place.
Slowly she slipped the blunt metal tool behind his eyelid. He could feel the cool pressure slowly intensifying.
“I’m so fucking glad I can’t feel pain.” Summers muttered.
“…Shut up.” Cortez cringed as she worked. “But yeah…”
Then Summers eye came loose. His hand reached up, cupping the now dangling eye in wet bandages with one hand.
It was an odd sensation, but not unpleasant. Something like crossing his eyes.
“Summers, you good?” Nowak looked at him, concerned.
“Yeah. Yeah.” Summers reached up towards the now vacant socket. “All right, let’s see what happens.”
He stuck two fingers into his eye, pressing against the back of the cavity. As soon as his fingertips reached the nerve, he could feel a pulsing, bright mass nearby.
He reached for it, willing it to come closer.
Then, the world disappeared.
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Summers found himself in a void, his hand still in his head, still pulling the mass.
A beat, and a voice spoke out to him.
“H…ome.”
He didn’t understand what was talking to him. If it was talking. It was more like a concept being fed directly into his head. Summers kept pulling, refusing to let up.
The scenery flickered a moment. He saw his mother standing in front of him. He saw his father, a field of flowers.
“Host in…com…plete.”
More faces flashed through his sight. His friends, people he barely even remembered.
“A new… ho…me.” The voice repeated.
Then new faces appeared. Alien faces, some bordering on what he could still call human.
The world resolved itself, and he was in a large, empty room.
A humanoid figure, only a silhouette moved slowly in front of him. He was faintly luminous, with something that looked like eyes forming and unforming as Summers’ watched.
“Is this it? The end?”
Summers started at what sounded like his own voice speaking. No, he hadn't said anything. But still, it felt familiar, like one of his dreams.
The black form turned to him.
“No.”
The figure seemed to dissolve as he finished speaking, and a tidal wave of blackness washed over Summers, engulfing him. He was plunged into pure darkness.
Summers redoubled his effort as his consciousness began to fade.
He could feel as the force resisting him relented, releasing its grip.
Then all at once, Summers remembered pain.
It started slowly at first, blooming in his head, until it became his world. Suddenly he could feel the sharp sting in his eye, something in his chest pressing against his heart. His entire body was on fire. It was almost too much, he nearly lost consciousness right there. But he pressed on, feeling something wet brush up against his thumb. As soon as it made contact, Summers pulled with all he had.
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Everything was gone.
The others looked to Summers. Confusion evident on their faces. He could only stare back at them.
After a moment, he noticed the mass of black flesh in his hand. It tensed, trying to squirm free.
“Oh. Fuck!”
Summers threw the hand sized tumor into a pot and slammed the lid down with a little more force than was necessary.
He heard the struggling within the pot but managed to keep the top on. He was still trying to come to terms with what happened as he watched Cortez heft it over to the stove they’re prepared.
He couldn’t sense the mass inside his head anymore. But the dull ache in his body had carried over, the pain in his eye still blazing. But for now, he could endure it.
It was odd, on one hand, he wasn’t sure what would happen when he removed the creature. If his memories would come back, or if they were gone forever.
He hadn’t expected them to be replaced.