Chapter 27
Suffice to say, Lyca’s re-introduction into the group was not an easy one. She was ostracized immediately by her peers, forcing me to take her under my wing and train her individually from everyone else.
I could have simply forced them to work with her, but doing such a thing would have broken the group's cohesion, lowering their overall effectiveness in battle. Fortunately, I had something else in mind for the girl to begin with. Rather than waste time readying her for group work, I trained her in a way that utilized her natural ability to sneak around and gather information.
In other words, I’ve spent the last four months turning her into an effective Rogue. Though I was loath to admit it, Ogden Merlmire had been absolutely correct to mark her as such. While I hated the man, I couldn’t help but also admire the shrewd eye with which he picked out talent. Her actual war potential was low, yet Lyca had already successfully proven herself to be an invaluable asset to me.
I tried starting her out small by drilling abilities like
Her explosive potential puzzled me. While she was under the influence of Acolyte, the rate at which Lyca was learning Skills was completely unnatural. So unnatural, in fact, that I would have suspected that she was a Hero or a Demon were it not for the fact that she had zero talent when it came to learning magic. Try as she might, over the past four months she still hadn’t managed to access her pathways despite the fact that the others- even talentless people like Balor, had been able to in no more than three months.
Not that it mattered very much. For what I needed her to do, magic was unnecessary.
After evolving her Skills for two months, I sent Lyca out on a mission. It was a simple supply run, all she needed to do was go to Elmbrook and steal food, weapons and other various items.
“But…but what if I get caught?” she asked, looking frightened.
“What do you mean?” I asked, genuinely confused by her question.
“If one of the guards sees me-”
“KIll him.” I said simply “Or knock him out if you think you can. And do it quickly, lest he alerts others to your location.”
“B-But…” she hesitated.
“Ah, I see the problem.” I thought
Lyca had never killed anybody before, and she didn’t have the dream of freedom to push her forward like the others did. Lyca was a coward, and cowards would only kill to protect their own skin.
“I see, you don’t want to kill anybody, huh?” I asked
She nodded.
“Very well. Then Lyca, I Decree that if you are seen by a guard on this or any other mission I give you, you are to follow one of these two commands. Either kill them, or stay still and allow yourself to be captured and sold. The punishment for failing to meet one of these conditions is death.”
Lyca’s eyes widened and her mouth opened wide, as if she were about to start yelling at me. But instead all that came out was “I understand.”
For a moment she looked confused, as that was very clearly not what she had wanted to say. But though she kept trying, Lyca couldn’t seem to do or say anything that ran contrary to my will and eventually all she could muster out was a single word.
“Why…?” she asked, visibly upset.
“You swore an oath to serve me, remember? Under the terms of our agreement, you are to do as I say and how I say it. You bound yourself to me of your own volition, so don’t go regretting it the first time you are forced to make a difficult choice.”
Her eyes widened, and she said “Magic…?”
“No, a Skill. There are some benefits too though, you’ll learn Skills and magic faster than others. Although you’re the only one here who must obey my will. That is your true punishment. Now then, back to the mission. Star was going on about needing a hair brush so see if you can find one of those as well…”
Though she didn’t like it, Lyca didn’t really have a choice and after making sure that she had memorized the list of items we needed I sent her off to Elmbrook. Ordinarily I might have felt bad about forcing one of my students to make a choice like that, but this world was a kind place. If she wanted to have any place in this army, she would have to learn how to kill eventually. All of them would.
“Do you think she’ll be ok?” Merry asked concernedly, as she carried over a platter of fried fish for us to enjoy together.
“Who's to say?” I answered, munching on her delicious food “Do not worry too much, my love. I am watching over her. If she is captured, I will simply rescue her.”
“I know that you will Illumi. But that girl…” Merry sighed
“I know. But there is little to be done about it until she opens up. I could just force her to tell us, but it would probably only make things worse.”
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Merry said nothing, and the two of us finished our meal in silence after that. The rest of that night passed uneventfully, I stayed up with the workhorse group to train until the moon reached its zenith while Merry and everyone else went to sleep early. I woke up just as the first rays of sunlight were poking through the branches and grabbed some wood to revive the dying fire.
However, when I got to the fire I found it had already been attended to by a certain someone.
“Good morning, Master.” Lyca said, her voice flat. Her eyes had dark rings under them, and though she addressed me, her gaze never left the flames. Her hair was more disheveled than usual and the right sleeve of her tunic was ripped. Around her were several bags filled with the specified supplies and a small pile of replacement weapons.
She was also covered in blood. Not hers.
“You were seen?” I asked, allowing no emotion into my voice.
She did not respond, as she did not need to. She knew I knew.
I sat down on the ground next to her. I did not hug her, or pat her, or do any of the things I would normally do to comfort one of my students. Lyca didn’t need those sorts of things right now. I simply sat there, content to wait until she could talk.
I stayed with her for the entire day, even canceling morning training for my other students (who didn’t seem to mind the free time). At several points in the day Lyca would doze off into a fitful sleep, only to suddenly jerk awake with eyes wildly looking around. Each time she would eventually find me and after a moment Lyca would be calm again. During her meals she didn’t eat, instead leaving the plate until someone came by to either eat her food or throw it away.
I had hoped that this behavior would only last until the end of the day, but when I awoke the next morning I found her sitting in that same spot, still covered in blood.
I grimaced, unable to figure out what to say that would ease her heavy conscience.
“One more day.” I decided, before I took any drastic actions to get Lyca out of her own head.
That day I went back to training the children as per the normal schedule, but I would still periodically check up on her to see if there were any changes. Unfortunately, there were none and when I went to sit by her that night for dinner she still would not eat.
I sighed “Very well then.”
I waited until the Workhorse group went to bed before finally talking to Lyca
“Do you wish to die?” I asked
I was by no means a subtle Demon.
“…I don’t think so.” Lyca answered.
“Do you feel guilty for killing one of the guards?”
She said nothing.
“You know they would have sold you off without a second thought, and not before doing all manner of unpleasant things to you. You are not evil for killing such men.”
Again she said nothing.
“If you are really upset about it then you can just blame me for giving you the order. It is not as if you really had a choice in the matter after all.”
“…t wasn’t a guard.” she mumbled
“What was that?” I asked
“It wasn’t a guard. The one who saw me, it was someone else.”
“…I see.” I said, the reason for her melancholy dawning on me. “Do you know who…?”
“It was…the boy Eri liked. He saw me as I was leaving the village and he recognized me. After he ran off to warn the guards I panicked so I…I…” Lyca started shaking, and turned to look at me with tears in her eyes “There w-was so much blood but I couldn’t just let…I already hurt Tia and Eri and…I didn’t want everyone to get found out and I’m…i’m so sorry!” She started crying in earnest, clutching her knees tightly as she did so.
I now understood why she was so upset. If she had simply killed a guard then she could safely place the blame for it on me. But nowhere In my orders did I require her to kill civilians. She made the choice on her own, for the sake of the people she betrayed, for the sake of the Master she served, she killed someone who could have threatened all of their lives.
“Do you regret your choice?” I asked the sobbing girl.
Sniffling, she said “I…I don’t think I do…and that’s…that’s the worst part. I’m pretty sure…if I had to..I…would do it again.” she paused to wipe her eyes and nose, before asking “Am…am I a monster?”
“No, I don’t believe you are. The fact that you are capable of crying over someone who definitely hated you proves that much.”
“But…I don’t think things can go back to the way they were.”
“You are correct. Killing someone it…changes you. My first time, I was so blind with rage that I would have ravaged the nearby village were I stronger. That anger never left me either, and now I’m…”
“…A pain in the ass?” she said, smiling weakly through her melancholy.
“Hmph, you’re an impertinent child, but yes. I doubt that sadness you feel will ever go away either, though it might dull as my rage has…until the next time someone sets it off.”
“I understand. So…what do I do now?”
“That depends on you. I still can’t release you, but if you are unwilling to fight for me then I can put you on cooking and hunting duty indefinitely. I’ll even pull you from training, since there’s no poi-.”
“NO!” she shouted, startling me.
I blinked at her, and she became flushed with embarrassment, saying “S-Sorry, but please- let me continue fighting for you.”
“Are you sure? From here on out your missions will only get tougher, and you will certainly have to kill again. I might even end up having to order you to kill civilians, women…even children if events become dire enough, though I would like to avoid that.”
“I know but…no, before I say anything else can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.” I said, curious
She nodded, and said “Thank you, Master. What I wanted to ask was…well…you’re a…you know, a powerful being, right?”
I nodded
“Then…why are you doing all of this for us? I know Merry asked you to, but you’re definitely doing more than you need to to make her happy. You’re even trying to avoid killing kids, even though a Demon Prince shouldn’t care about that sort of thing. Sometimes it even feels like…like you’re happy to be with us.”
“Hm…those are all very good questions. Why have I spent six months of my life training you kids, why am I even concerned about civilian casualties and why do I seem to enjoy being around you lot even though I’m a big bad monster.” I paused, giving myself a moment to think of a suitable answer. To be honest, I had been avoiding thinking about it because I knew the answer that would come to mind. But right now one of my precious students was in pain and she wanted to hear the truth of the matter.
“I don’t think you’re evil…no, I’m sure you aren’t, but even a good person wouldn’t be this generous to a bunch of slaves.”
“Well…if I had to think of a reason for why I am being so kind to you all…I suppose it would be…hmm”
“What is it, Master?”
“I suppose it would be…because to me…to me…to me…” I let out a great sigh and finally said “To me, you have all become family.”
“F-Family…!?” Lyca repeated, amazed to hear such a thing from me.
“Yes, alright? You are my family. At least, that’s what I think this feeling is. Now don’t go telling the others what I just sa-”
“M-Master, do you really mean that?” came a voice from the cabins behind us. There, poking their heads through the makeshift window, were Balor, Scratch and Gallion who shared a cabin.
“That’s so sweet…” came another voice from Tia, Eri and Star’s cabin.
“Oh Illumi…I love you so much…” Merry told me through telepathy.
All from all of the cabins came the hushed whispers of my students. As it turned out, most of them had been eavesdropping out of concern for Lyca. Many of them seemed to reciprocate my feelings and some, including Scratch and Balor, were even shedding tears at the thought that their precious Master thought of them as family.
As for me, my entire head had become red from embarrassment.
“Y-You’re all going to pay for this in training tomorrow!” I yelled “If you have time to eavesdrop before bed then I guess I have just been going too easy on you!”
But my students just laughed, happy to take any punishment in exchange for what they just overheard.
“Family…ok. I can do that. Master, please let me keep fighting for you. As your assassin…and as your family.” Lyca said, her expression very much changed. Her melancholy was still there, but now there was a new light in her eyes. Lyca had found something that she was willing to fight for.
“Tch…! You…gah! Very well, do as you please!” I said, my face still flushed red.
And, despite my embarrassment, I too was secretly glad. Glad that they accepted my feelings. Glad that they cared for me too.
And determined now, more than ever, to give them a future worth having.