Fenrin stared at his hand dumbly. Vai's golden cheek went bronze as the blood rose where he'd been struck. His eyes stayed on the floor and Fenrin's vision tunneled. Like a ravenous beast, anger and hatred reared up.

It had been so sudden, just the look in the man's eyes. A face from his past, a look he hated. Bitter defeat. Acceptance of a sad fate. A look he'd seen in his own eyes before. He hadn't thought...his hand had just moved and Vai didn't even look angry...he looked ashamed. Like he'd deserved it for merely having emotion.

The chair fell to the ground as Fenrin leapt up, his hand still held out. He was breathing heavily and he turned, slammed open the door, and walked into the trees until the green filled his narrowed vision. A dozen meters in he knelt, hands curling into the dark earth, trying to remember, trying to ground himself back in reality.

“I'm here. Safe at my home. No one needs to feel pain here. Not me. Not me. Not me.”

It wasn't working. The horror at his loss of control was overswept by the sick euphoria. The feeling of domination, of forcing that look of Vai's face. Of making him look down. He wanted to go back, to make him plead for mercy.

“No. No. No. That's not me. Not anymore.”

He pressed his forehead into the dirt, fighting the other voice in his head.

“Yes it is. It's always been you. You can't run from it. You can't fight what you are. You were a fool to think you'd change.”

His soiled hands dragged through the dirt and rested on his chest. His heartbeat was quick and deep. He struggled to focus on it. One. Two. One. Two.

“I'm changed. I can do more than hurt people. I can make things.”

Like a sunbeam bursting through the clouds, Marge's proud smile focused his thoughts. She knew him, knew he was capable of more than hurting people. Jayln knew.

"Find a happy feeling. Just one is all you need."

The feeling of creating something. Of seeing something useful in the world because you worked hard. It was a feeling his demons had no place in and with no foothold, the thoughts released him.

Fenrin took a deep breath of earthy air and sat up. His forehead ached and he checked his headband was still in place. He rolled his shoulders and then his neck, grounding himself further in the feeling of his muscles relaxing.

He'd messed up, but years of training himself—bettering himself—allowed him to accept that and move on. He had to go back and face his actions, figure out how to make it right. It would be difficult since Vai might even be offended by an apology. Although in truth, it was Fiona that Fenrin was more worried about.

Standing and brushing the remaining dirt off his knees, Fenrin returned to the house. When he opened the door, Vai, his cheek a bit swollen, was neatly folding the clothes they'd purchased and tucking them into the basket that was Fiona's closet. Fiona jumped when the door opened and then stared avidly at the small book she was reading.

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Running his fingers through his hair, Fenrin made a plan. He walked up to Vai and stuck out a hand.

"I'm sorry, Vai, I shouldn't have lost my temper."

Vai turned and looked at the hand with a mix of horror and disgust. A bit expected, but the effort was necessary. Unwavering, Fenrin stood there until Vai gathered himself enough to bow and mechanically say, "No apologies, Master Fenrin. I must not have been performing to expectations."

Fenrin steadfastly kept the hand out. "No, I was wrong. Shake my hand and accept the apology."

The man uncomfortably did as told and Fenrin nodded grateful. It may not have been a perfect apology but the effort was made and as Matius always said, sometimes that was all you could do. Fenrin moved on to part two of his plan.

"Vai, what do you need?"

Vai practically recoiled at the phrase and Fenrin quickly adjusted, "What do you need for Fiona, I mean. I want your...experienced opinion."

The question no longer taboo for the lifelong slave, Vai considered. He glanced at Fiona and so did Fenrin. She was watching the exchange over her book.

"Her High—My lady has requested your assistance with combat training, I seem to recall," Vai finally said after a silent moment. Fenrin frowned and Fiona looked back down at her book quickly. Her uncle leaned on the table.

"Swords, eh? Fine but it might not be what you expect."

Fiona, now completely cast aside the long abandoned book. "Really?"

He gave her a smile. "Really. Tomorrow morning, first thing."

With that Fenrin poured himself a cup of tea and sat down next to his niece, nodding at her green book. "What are you reading?"

Fiona slid the book back in front of her. "A botany primer. I already know most plants of Valhym, but this one has more foreign plants."

Eyeing the book with some suspicion about what curriculum it was intended to lead to, Fenrin took a sip of tea and asked, "Besides botany, what are you studying?"

Numbering the subjects with her fingers, Fiona answered, "Script, Literature, Geography, Politics, Etiquette, Riding, Dance, Mathematics, and History."

Her uncle whistled. "That's a lot of learning for such a small head."

Fiona giggled and stood up proudly. "Father always says a princess has to excel in order to best rule her nation. His father used to say that to him. Except he said ‘prince’, obviously."

"You're close to the king then."

"Oh, yes! Father and I are best friends. Although," she frowned, "I don't get to see him much since he's so busy."

"Hmmm. And Lyra?"

Defensively Fiona answered, "Mother and I get along but I see her even less since she's extra super busy. Father says maybe when the war is over I can see her more but reminds me that wars often take an awful long time. So mostly it's just me and Vai."

"Just you two? You didn't have any friends back at the palace? No playmates?"

Fiona picked at the corner of her book. "I used to but then it got too dangerous. My riding teacher was really nice and he would make me laugh, but then I stopped being able to go out to ride."

Brows furrowing, Fenrin began to realize what a dismal childhood Fiona’d had. Sure his own was far from ideal, but as a young child, he'd had his mother and Lyra to play with and after that...well he'd had all sorts of trouble to get into provided he never disobeyed the Bear.

"What do you mean dangerous?"

Fiona glanced at Vai for help and the tall man picked up the explanation. "Starting four years ago, many attempts have been made on my lady's life. It became necessary to increase security and limit access to her person. Obviously the problem has only worsened which led her to your care."

"Oh, right." Fenrin gulped down the last of his tea and a knock on the door froze everyone for a moment. Fenrin chuckled. "Odd timing. One moment."

He stood up and opened the door a crack, peeked through then groaned, letting it swing open to reveal a lanky man with a huge grin on his face and the most colorful outfit Fiona had seen in the valley.

"Of course it's you. Can't even wait a damn moment can you?