Jake Addams April 19th, 20XX

The warm plastic of my phone’s case burned against my fingertips as I balanced it in my palm. I wanted to call Alice and ask if she wanted a drive home, but I also didn’t want to hear her make a lame excuse to turn me down.

Or, even if she accepted the offer, she’d likely have three others with her, and I didn’t much feel like putting on a show for her friends.

I’d also made plans to meet with Sparrow in about three hours. While there would have been enough time to make a round trip, playing chauffeur didn’t sound like much fun.

I quickly gave up on the half-baked idea and headed to the library, wanting to get some studying done, when I received a text from Alice. The sound of the specialized notification slightly got my hopes up, but they crashed right down to my shoes when I actually read the text.

[Wonderland: I just heard from the group. Come meet me in room 394. Now! >_<]

The old-fashioned but cute emoticon did little to ease my annoyance. There was still a bit of hope that she’d heard something fun from the group and just wanted to chat with me, but it was unlikely.

I looked at the location she’d texted me and realized that it was only a few doors down from where Sparrow had asked me to meet her. Well, at least I wouldn’t have to walk across the large campus after calming Alice down.

Although I already knew how things would play out, I wasn’t looking forward to it in the least. I took my time getting to the building since it was on the other side of the large campus but somehow still got there first. I wondered why she wanted to meet in a design department’s building but decided not to bring it up. I doubted I would get an answer I liked.

My backpack thumped heavily on the ground, despite being mostly empty. I took a seat in the middle of the hazardously full room and put in my headphones, figuring it would be a few minutes to half an hour before she got here.

After about 5 songs, Alice stormed in with an annoyingly wronged expression and prosthetic tears in her eyes.

Rather than addressing the tears that made her eyes glitter pitifully, I instead wondered where she had gotten them. But, then again, she was an actress; it wasn’t unreasonable for her to know where to get them. I didn’t think she would have them on hand, though, so maybe finding them was why she had taken so long to get here.

The sight of the crowd of students, each looking at me like I was a monkey in a zoo, sunk me into a dangerous state of mind. Alice stepped forward and prepared to launch into a soliloquy, but I quickly and harshly cut her off.

She was the one that had enrolled as a prospective actress, so I didn’t know why she insisted on pulling me into these performances.

I yanked out my headphones and slowly got out of the chair. It wasn’t like I’d done anything particularly threatening, but seeing Alice take a step back and tremble into Vanessa’s shoulder like she feared me made me want to do something to elicit such a response.

“Everybody except Alice, get out.”

I got a few confused expressions. Some because of the sudden order and Alice because I’d spoken first.

“I said everybody out! “

My voice came out gruffer and harsher than before, and I saw more than a few of them scamper off. But the others looked at Alice before making their decision.

“Jake.”

The sound of her saying my name with such a hurt and confused tone was almost enough to shake me out of the decision I’d made, but I held fast. Things had already gone on much longer than they should have.

I didn’t hate her, but our current path, it was only a matter of time.

“Alice. I’m. Dead. Serious.”

She finally waved the last few stragglers away and closed the door behind her.

Her eyes slightly narrowed as she registered my rigid tone, and she completely wiped away the crocodile tears. Now that I was the only audience member present, she didn’t feel the need to continue the act.

Still, the shock at my refusal to back down was present.

I was acting out of line from the script she’d written in her head, and that threw her off. I could see the confusion visibly written on her face, but she quickly collected herself and readjusted the scenario.

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She talked in a soft voice with a slightly angry undertone.

“I heard Sparrow came to find you the other day.”

“And?”

She’d expected me to deny her accusation, but aside from the fact that nothing had happened, I didn’t feel the need to justify such an insignificant interaction with another girl while she ran around school chasing after another guy.

“And? Is that all you have to say?!”

Her voice came out harried and strained; like I was a co-actor that went off-script during a live performance. But once again, I was an athlete, not an actor.

“Well?”

The aggressive single-syllable question hung between us like a battle shield formation, with the spike in the middle aimed at me, but I ignored it and responded in a curt tone that surprised even me.

“Well.”

This time she had already incorporated my mood into her script. She retorted in seconds, this time trying to evoke a quiet but high tensioned air rather than the loud and passionate one she was initially going for.

“.. What did she want?”

“She wanted to know where Finn was.”

Before this point, I’d felt my resolve weaken. She was the girl I’d been in love with for such a long time. Even if I wasn’t as infatuated with her as I once was, it was still painful to let go of an emotion I’d devoted myself to for so long.

Maybe that was why seeing her face light up at the sound of Finn’s name made me solidify my resolve. It was time for this ridiculous charade to end.

She looked incredibly tempted to ask me what I’d said in return, but thankfully she changed her mind and continued the conversation we were having.

“Well, why would she come to see you?”

I could only respond in a spiteful tone, despite my wish to stay as neutral as possible.

“Probably for the same reason you wanted to.”

I carefully searched her face for any hint of guilt. Even just a glimmer would have been enough, but she remained consistent with a mixture of anger, curiosity, and hurt as if even her subconscious determined to push the blame onto me.

“Well- even if it was just a simple question, why did I hear about the two of you being suspiciously friendly with each other. I don’t remember you guys ever interacting before? at least not in public.”

Her voice got soft at the end of her speech when she finally noticed my irritation, but she’d already committed to her scenario.

I randomly remembered a lesson my dad would always grind into my mind when I was younger.

He would always tell me that words, like actions and promises, were impossible to take back once set loose. Even if one apologized, that one said or did them would become a fact, and potentially an obstacle in the future.

That she would even think to accuse me of cheating on her was enough to devastate me. Even if she was messing with me, or trying to play a role in her self-made and directed play, she knew how I felt about infidelity.

I spoke slowly and quietly in response and made sure she didn’t hear a drop of my genuine emotions.

“So what exactly do you want me to say? Do you want an apology for something I didn’t do?”

“N-No! I just want to know why it looks more like you’re going out with Sparrow than me!”

She panicked and threw cheap lines into the air. She hadn’t been expecting me to take things as seriously as I was, but then again, that was just another reason to end things.

“It looks like that because you’ve been chasing after another guy for the last two weeks!”

I finally lost it and said what I’d wanted to say for the past few weeks. Seeing her confused expression only made me angrier. Could it be that she really didn’t see it? Or she did and just saw nothing wrong with it.

“Alice, I’m not an idiot. So what, you thought I didn’t notice how much attention you’ve devoted to him? Or that every conversation we’ve recently had has centred on him? Even down to when you were crying about potentially getting black-listed after high school, you were still so concerned about ‘him’. does that make any sort of sense?”

She winced as my voice got louder and louder, but I’d gone too far to bother trying to calm down.

“There was so much I could have picked a fight about if I’d wanted to, but I decided not to say anything and to trust you because you hadn’t actually done anything. I trusted you, but you decide to come here, guns a-blazing, and accuse me of being unfaithful?? Again, does that make any sense?”

Any other person would have backed off after this, but she instead bristled her feathers and launched onto the offensive, unwilling to lose even when she was clearly in the wrong.

I’d used to admire that trait of her in the past, but as we got older, and as she used it against me, I’d realized just how childish she could be.

She stepped up to me and glared at me, attempting to look like a valiant warrior but only achieving the look of a petulant child.

“If you had so much to say to me, then why didn’t you just say it?! Am I some big terrible monster that’ll eat you up if you say something to upset me?”

Well, it wasn’t like I was entirely blameless either. She was right, in that I should have just talked to her earlier, but pointing out my shortcomings didn’t make hers any less awful.

“Would you have stopped if I did? Honestly. If I’d talked to you about this, about us… Would you have stopped?”

Here she paused as if she seriously thought about it and spoke in an even louder voice after she reached a conclusion.

“You… is there really something between you and her? Is that why you’re attacking me like this?!”

Her eyes widened so much that I feared they would pop out, and her voice trembled like her feelings were actually hurt.

My feelings were hurt too, but more so, I was incredulous.

She would really rather assume that I was cheating on her than recognize that she’d treated me so poorly that I was finally sick of it.

“You actually ran into the arms of some whore like a coward instead of coming to talk to me?! For real?”

Her voice peaked at a high pitch, and she angrily picked at the skin by her wrist, a bad habit she’d yet to break.

I barked out an angry laugh, unwilling to calm the argument down and clear up whatever misunderstanding she’d convinced herself of.

“Now you’re resorting to cheap insults... you really never change, do you?”