"I won't leave until you accept me as your disciple!" I looked in front of me to see a female on her knees, bowing to an older male. The male had long white hair and blue eyes. "I already trained for 3,000 years the way you told me to! You said you will accept me if I manage to defeat your fourteenth disciple in a sparring match. Now that I've fulfilled your requirements, you must keep your words and accept me as a disciple," the female kept arguing. The male looked down at her with a little annoyance in his eyes.
"You," his voice was serene, "what is your name?"
"My name? Hmm... I just go by Magpie."
"Magpie? Why?"
"Because I am a magpie."
"Hmm... alright. I will accept you as my fifteenth disciple of Cui Yun Mountain. From this day on your name will be... XXX XXX XXX" huh? What was her name? Why couldn't I hear him?
"Thank you, master!" the female kowtowed to him, "I, XXX XXX XXX, will be faithful and follow Master to the end," she announced.
"Good. Follow me," the male gestured to the huge gate door behind him.
"Yes," the female giggled as she stood up and started to walk inside.
"Wait!" I called out to them, "what is your name? What is your name?" I kept asking but it didn't seem like they heard me. I ran after them but their figure just grew smaller and smaller. "What is your name?!"
-
I opened my eyes to see the cracked ceiling of my bedroom. I turned my head and saw Teacher sitting at my desk. My throat felt dry and my body ached.
"Tea... cher?" my voice was hoarse and barely audible. Somehow he managed to hear me as he turned his head.
"Cu Xing!" he got up from my desk and walked over to me, "you have been sleeping for two weeks already," he helped me sit up.
"Teacher... I'm thirsty..." I licked my chapped lips.
"Thirsty? Here," he handed me a cup of water. I took the warm cup in my hand. The liquid touched my tongue and quenched my throat. I couldn't help it as I downed the whole cup. I handed the cup back to Teacher and he smiled as he refilled it. "You know," he handed the cup to me as I drank it, "while you were asleep your concubine mother gave birth." I choked on the liquid and started to cough. Teacher gently hit my back as he grabbed the cup from my hand.
"A... baby?" I asked.
"Yes," he wiped the tea off my chin, "a baby girl."
"Girl... what's her name?"
"Princess Wei Xing."
"Wei... Xing..." I felt the syllables roll off my tongue. I didn't know how to feel. Should I be happy?
"Cu Xing," I felt my teacher touch my shoulder and I looked up.
"Yes?"
"Cu Xing, what has teacher always told you?"
"Told me?" I repeated before understanding, "Teacher has always told me to forgive people. Give them chances. Don't hold grudges. Be kind. Your kindness towards others will eventually come back to help you. To be sincere and genuine is to be true to yourself."
"That's right. Are you going to follow what teacher says?"
"For what?"
"For Princess Mei Lan," I felt like puking when I heard her name. My heart rumbled with rage.
"I... don't... know..." I answered honestly.
"Cu Xing," Teacher looked at me intently, "why? Why can't you follow what teacher says regarding Princess Mei Lan?"
"Because..." all the memories of that witch ever hurting me flashed through my mind, "I've... she's..." I couldn't make out any words. Teacher doesn't know how they treated me... and I didn't tell him because I knew he would bring it up to my father and mother. This could cause mother to be in more pain. I didn't want to see her sad anymore.
"Cu Xing," his voice was gentle, "do you know that no matter what Princess Mei Lan did that day, you were also in the wrong?" he asked. I was wrong? Why was I wrong?
"Why? What did I do wrong?"
"Cu Xing... you ripped off her earring and caused her to be injured."
"But she threatened me with my doll to kowtow to her."
"Still, you shouldn't have ripped out her earring."
"Then... what does Teacher think about my punishment? Just for a ripped ear, her mother demanded five of my scales causing me to lose 2,500 years of cultivation. I'm only 10,000 years old and I already lost a quarter of my cultivation. Imperial Father said that everyone must pay for the wrong they do... but for a mere flesh wound I paid so much... was this fair, Teacher?" I questioned. I wanted to know. Teacher had a conflicted look on his face.
"Cu Xing..." he bit his lip, "Teacher can't give you an answer," he looked down. He let out a small sigh before looking back up at me. "But Teacher knows that if you forgive her, you will feel better. We all must learn how to forgive in order to become better people. You must give her another chance. Be kind, Cu Xing. One day, you will be rewarded for your good deeds," he smiled. I see... if Teacher says so, then it must be true.
"I understand. I will forgive her. I will give her another chance. I will be kind," I responded.
"You are a great person," he patted my head, "Princess Mei Lan is only 15,000 older than you. You are both still young and there is still time to bond with each other. Teacher will go fetch some food and medicine for you so be a good girl and stay in bed," he stood up and walked out the door. I watched as his figure got smaller and smaller. Teacher... I did say I was going to forgive... but how could I ever forget? How could we ever bond with each other?
-
After I recovered from that incident, things changed. I didn't need to walk to the classroom anymore as Teacher came to my room to teach me instead. He would also bring me my meals when he came and when he didn't show up, Zhang Bing would deliver them instead. So, I didn't need to step outside my room much other than to practice my martial arts skills or take walks.
My mother was also happier. She was smiling more often but it was not me that made her happy. It was my younger sister. She showered Wei Xing with more love than she ever gave me. Not only this, but I was not allowed to go near Wei Xing at all. She didn't want me to pass my unluckiness to her. I thought it was a good choice because I didn't really know how to act around my younger sister... nor did I like her that much either.
Her birthday was three days after mine and she always got a grand celebration being the twenty-seventh and youngest princess of the palace. My other siblings treated her well also... unlike the way they treated me. When I asked my Teacher about it, he just told me it was because they liked to bicker with me more. I didn't know bickering included so many insults and hits but if Teacher said so, then it must be true.
-
When Wei Xing was 4,999 years old, she came to my room without permission. I didn't tell her to get out because I didn't care. I just continued to work on my embroidery. I didn't like to sew as I preferred reading and practicing my martial arts. Although I knew I couldn't use my martial arts against anyone in the palace, I felt a bit better knowing that I can defend myself or mother if anything ever happened. Teacher said that my martial arts skills were advanced for my age, but I felt he probably just said it to be kind. I'm not good at anything. Mother told me so. Teacher also said my comprehension skills from reading was good but Teacher wanted me to also work on my other skills, so he has banned me from reading and practicing martial arts for the time being.
"Older sister," she called out. I turned my head and looked at her. Her limbs were still short and a bit chubby as she resembled a mortal toddler. She looked at me with bright golden brown eyes and her blue hair was tied up in pigtails.
"Are you talking to me?" I asked. Throughout that whole time she had lived, I barely interacted with her due to our mother's restrictions. She nodded her head.
"Older sister," she smiled, "I really like your embroidery. Can you make me a handkerchief?"
"A handkerchief?" I wondered why she wanted one from me.
"Yes!" her smile almost left her chubby cheeks.
"Sure," I agreed. There was no reason for me to say no.
"Yay!"
"What do you want on it?"
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"I want a Bai Yu flower on it!"
"Bai Yu flower?" I never heard of it before.
"Yes! The other day, Zhang Bing took me into town and I saw it! It's really pretty! It's blue and purple! I really like it!" she started going on and on about her trip but I stopped listening.
"Choose another flower," I said, "I've never seen that flower so I can't embroider it for you." Her bright eyes lost their light and her smile turned upside down.
"B-b-but I want the Bai Yu flower!" her lower lip overlapped her top one.
"But I've never seen it. How can I make it for you, if I've never seen it?"
"Can't you just go into town and look at it? Please?!" she begged. Go into town? But mother would never let someone like me go into town. She was already hated for giving birth to a cursed princess. If I showed up to town then she would be even more ridiculed.
"If you don't want to choose another flower, then I can't help you," I turned my head back to my embroidery. I heard sniffling and ignored it. After a couple seconds, the sniffling turned into a huge cry. I dropped my embroidery down as I turned my head to see her bawling. I ran up to her and covered her mouth. If mother heard then I would definitely get hit for this.
"Shhh," I hushed her. She shook her head as she said something but I couldn't understand because of her muffled voice. I slowly moved my hand away from her mouth.
"I won't stop crying until you make me my handkerchief!" she cried and I quickly placed my hand over her mouth again.
"Alright, alright! I will make you your handkerchief so stop crying!" I urged. Her dim eyes lit up again and she smiled. I moved my hand away.
"Really, older sister?" she asked.
"Really," I swallowed my saliva. She cheered up immediately and I started to wipe the tears off her face. I didn't want mother to know she had been crying.
"Older sister, I love you," she suddenly jumped into my arms. She wrapped her short arms around my neck and giggled into my ear. I was taken by surprise. What's this? L-l-love? I pulled her off of me and stood up.
"You should go. I need to study," I turned my back to her.
"Ohh... alright! See you tomorrow!" I heard her little footsteps waddle out the room. How could she love me? I am a curse... nobody loves me... so how could she? I touched my chest as I could still feel her warm embrace. I tapped my thigh.
-
The next day, I woke up early to go see my mother. I stood outside her gate and kept my eyes on the ground. When the doors opened I got on my knees and kowtowed to her before standing up. Through my peripheral vision, I didn't see Wei Xing so I concluded that she probably was with Zhang Bing somewhere.
"What are you doing here?" my mother hissed. I hadn't talked to her since that incident with Mei Lan. She seemed more content without me in the picture and I didn't want to destroy her happiness any more than I already did.
"Concubine mother," I swallowed my nervous saliva, "can I... go into town?"
"Go into town?! Are you crazy?!" she yelled. I had expected this reaction.
"I... I have never set foot outside of the palace... so... I just want to go see how our kingdom is," I felt my lips go dry.
"You want to see how the kingdom is? Do you want to bring more shame to me?!" she screamed. I got on my knees.
"Please," I kowtowed to her.
"Y-you... even if I let you go who is going to accompany you?! You have no maids to look after you and no one to guard you!" she was right. Throughout all these years of living, my Imperial Father nor mother ever gifted me any maids. All I had was Teacher and myself... but I couldn't ask Teacher. He had already done so much for me.
"I can take her," I heard Teacher's voice. I heard his light footsteps walk next to me as I raised my head. "Your Highness, if you are that worried, then I can take her."
"Y-you?"
"Yes. I am her teacher and I am also a retired general. I also know the town well so we won't get lost," he proposed. There was a moment of silence before I heard my mother click her tongue.
"Do what you guys want then. I don't care," she turned and walked away. After a moment, I felt hands on my upper arms helping me up.
"Let's go, Cu Xing. Your mother already gave us permission," he smiled. I nodded my head.
"Thank you, Teacher," I bowed. He came to my rescue, again.
"No need to thank me. I'm your teacher, so naturally, I should help you out," he patted my head. I tapped my thigh gently.
-
Before leaving I changed my robes into male robes and tied a headband on to conceal the birthmark on my forehead. If anyone saw they would immediately be able to guess that I was the fifteenth princess of the Northern Sea. I'm not sure how they would treat me then... but I didn't want to find out. I also wore a cloak just in case. I saw that Teacher didn't use any disguise and when I asked why, he just said that he had been off the radar for too long so no one would recognize him in town.
-
The town was noisy. There were stalls up and fairies bantering here and there. In the middle of the town was a pathway made with blue bricks that seemed to be the main road as transactions took place there. I could also smell a nice scent of food lurking in the town. It was definitely a different scent compared to the palace.
"Cu Xing," I turned to Teacher, "why did you want to come to town today?"
"I... I want to see the Bai Yu flower."
"Bai Yu flower?"
"Yes."
"Hmm... you have never been into flowers. Why the sudden interest?" he asked.
"Uh... someone asked me to embroider a handkerchief for her with the Bai Yu flower. I told her I was going to do it but I had to come to town first to see how it looks like."
"Someone? Oh... I see."
"Teacher."
"Yes?"
"Do you know where Bai Yu flowers bloom in town?"
"Yes. Let me lead you there," he held out his hand. I stared at it and he kept holding it out. Did he want something from me?
"What do you want, Teacher?" I was confused. He let out a small laugh.
"Give me your hand, Cu Xing. The town's pretty big. Teacher wouldn't want to lose you out here," he chuckled. Oh... I read about this in books before where parents would hold their children's hand so they don't get lost. I tapped my thigh with one hand and placed my other small one in his big one. He held my hand with a firm grip as he started pulling me through town.
We reached a bridge which had a river running beneath it. I was amazed at the sight. It was a bit weird how we were in the sea yet there were still rivers running through the town. When I asked Teacher about it he just told me that there was a barrier around the town to keep the water from coming through so that visitors can come to visit our kingdom. It was strange but I didn't think much of it.
"If we cross this bridge then we should be able to see Bai Yu flowers on the other side of town," he informed. I nodded my head, understanding. When we were crossing the bridge, I suddenly heard voices yelling out.
"You stupid girl! Get out of here! You are cursed!" a boy yelled out. I froze. Were they talking about me?
"Yeah, it's all your fault that your family died! Now you're going to come here and ruin our neighborhood?! Just go die!" another boy screamed.
"Stop..." a small voice whimpered. I felt my heart stirred in pain as I heard her voice. I let go of Teacher's hand as I ran toward the scene.
"C-cu Xing!" he called out to me but I just kept running. I turned behind a house to see a small alley. Inside the alley, I saw two boys ganging up on a girl. One of them wore orange robes and the other one wore yellow robes.
"Stop," I walked up to them. They turned around and gave me dirty looks. It was fine, I was used to getting looked that way. The orange-robed one narrowed his eyes at me as he walked up to me. He was a head taller than me and he had a mole underneath the corner of his left eye. He stared me down. I felt my heartbeat increase, but I told myself to stand my ground. He was not thirteenth brother. I didn't need to be scared. I didn't need to hold back if he did anything.
"Who are you?" he hissed as the other one glared at me behind him.
"Don't you think you two are a bit cowardly here ganging up on one girl?" I taunted.
"Huh? Cowardly?" they both laughed before the orange-robed boy grabbed me by my collar, "if you don't want to get hurt, then I suggest that you quietly go on your way... do you understand?" his disgusting breath went through my nose and I felt like puking. I grabbed his wrist.
"The same thing could be said to you," I retorted. His eyes grew as I saw veins popped up on his forehead.
"Yo-" he opened his mouth and yelled but before he could get anything out I twisted my body. I threw him over my shoulder. He hit the floor and let out a yelp. I pulled his arm up and stepped on his shoulder.
"Zhi Yan!" the yellow-robed ran toward me and I raised my arm. I gripped my fingers around his neck. He froze as he stared down my arm.
"Leave... or else things will start to get really bad here," I warned as I threw the orange robe's arm to the ground and let go of the yellow robe. Yellow robe ran past me to help orange robe up.
"You... I will remember this," orange robe glared before the two left the alley. I watch to make sure they leave the alley before I turned around. I looked down to see a girl covering her face. Her purple hair was tangled and unkempt. Her brown robes were ripped and had holes everywhere as they revealed her bony calves and arms.
"Please... don't hurt me," she sniffled. I pulled off my cloak as I bent down and wrapped it around her. She flinched at my sudden touch as she backed away.
"It's alright," I tried to calm her. I was worried though because my emotionless tone has caused me many troubles... but it was the only way I knew how to speak... otherwise mother... She brought her arms down and peeked up behind them. I saw frightened blue eyes stare back at me.
"You're... not going to... hurt me?" she asked me. I shook my head.
"Why would I hurt you? I just saved you," I pulled her up from the ground as she continued to cover her face.
"Cu Xing," I heard Teacher walk into the alley behind me, "don't go running away without me!" he lectured. I bowed my head.
"I'm sorry," I apologized. I didn't ask first because I had a feeling that Teacher wouldn't let me come. It was also easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission.
"Thank... you..." I heard the girl mumbled. I turned my attention back to her to see her still covering her face with her hand.
"What are you doing here?" I was curious about this girl as I remembered the boys calling her a curse.
"I... I don't have a home... so I stay here..."
"You don't have a home?"
"I..." her eyes welled up and I didn't want to push any further.
"You... what is your name?"
"My... name?"
"Yes."
"I... don't have a name..."
"You don't have a name?"
"Yes... but my surname is... Jiao."
"Jiao..." my eyes trailed behind her to see a flower on the ground behind her. The flower glistened with colors. The petals were blue as the seeds in the middle were a deep purple. It was mesmerizing, yet had a sad atmosphere to it. Somehow, I knew that flower was the Bai Yu flower that Wei Xing wanted me to embroider for her. "You," I turned my attention back to the girl, "do you want to come with me?"
"Eh? Come with... you? Why... why would... you want me? Are you... going sell me?" she trembled.
"No. I just saved you, why would I want to sell you?"
"Ah... sorry..."
"Don't be. You did nothing wrong."
"Sir... I don't think I can come with you..." she moved her hand away to reveal her face. Half of her cheek was covered in red burn marks. "Look... I'm cursed... I'm thankful for your help... but I don't want to burden you any longer..." a tear rolled down her burned cheek. I raised my hand up and lightly touch it. "Sir!" she backed away, "don't... it's dirty..." but I took a step closer.
"No," I shook my head, "you are not dirty," I touch her bumpy red cheek. I wanted to smile for her... but my cheek started to feel a little tingly. I moved my hand back and untied my headband.
"Sir?"
"You... come with me," I held my hand out to her as I pulled away my headband. I wanted to help this girl, "I... can't promise you I can protect you or give you a better life than this... but, I will be there for you," her eyes landed to the center of my forehead. She let out a small gasp.
"Th-t-that," her finger pointed to my birthmark, "y-y-you a-a-are..."
"Shh," I hushed her and she pressed her lips together. She looked down at my hand and then back to my birthmark. Her eyebrows wriggled as she was unsure what to do. "Do you want to come with me?" I asked again. After another moment of contemplating, she nodded her head and took my hand. Despite her unkemptness, her hands were soft as I gripped it.
"I... will come with you..." she mumbled.
"Then... I will give you name," I stared back at the flowers behind her.
"A name?"
"Yes... your name will be, Jiao. Bai. Yu."
"Jiao. Bai. Yu," she said each character carefully. Her eyes soften and she smiled. "Thank you..." she mumbled. I tapped my thigh and I felt grateful for meeting her. If I could save another person like myself, then that was all good. Forgive people. Give them chances. Don't hold grudges. Be kind. Your kindness towards others will eventually come back to help you. To be sincere and genuine is to be true to yourself.