Have you ever completed a goal, a long-running one, and felt it wasn't worth it? Like someone poor finally gaining riches and realizing it didn't make them any happier?

Yeah, I'm feeling that at this moment.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy the monstrosity lay dead at my feet, it was something that couldn't be avoided. The madness-inducing tentacle monsters had too much influence, too much power.

I took the place of the Chosen One, so there was nothing to it but buckle up and slay, and die, and slay, and die. The objective kept me sane, kept me focused. My disastrous start convinced me of the need for that. The whimpering mess I arrived as.

But I've lost more than just myself on this journey.

All those that used to be characters in a game, they were real now. And most I had to put down myself, after forming a connection to them. I hadn't earned the lesson that they all had. Not yet at least.

Eileen focused on her duty, I hadn't understood why. It was an endless loop with no respite in sight, so why did she feel it was so important? To suffer the criticism and scorn of her fellow kind. Her fellow Hunters. I still can't say I understand, and how I wish I could, but I think the objective helped her also.

I latched onto her pretty hard from the first meeting. Despite her seemingly wanting nothing to do with me. She was so strong and confident, I could do little else but admire. And fear.

It hurt all the more when I had to run my blade through her. Hurt all the more when she finally succumbed. I cried, I swore, I despaired, and on her last breath, mind restored, she... thanked me. All the more hurt.

She wasn't the first, nor last.

Sweet, wonderful Arianna, the prostitute that sold all that she was -- her blood, her body, her affections... I paid for it all but found most of my time with her spent cuddling and talking. I opened up to her more than I probably should have, sharing my otherworldly nature, but she only returned that trust with her own.

She was, is, probably my first love. It made me determined to save her. To never allow her near that damn church. Countless places searched and countless places dismissed, and the only conclusion I could come to was the Hunters dream.

I was refused. No matter the pleading or begging, it couldn't be done. I had already disliked Gehrman before. After that, it was borderline hate, despite it not being his fault. Not really.

I tried to be with her as much as my duty would allow. Tried to protect her from an ever-increasing threat.

If I wanted to protect her, I should have realized stopping my journey would have been the best bet. I shouldn't have focused on what it gave me, instead on the ever-increasing influence I was granting.

She became pregnant and I had hoped to all the Gods it was mine.

Of course, it wasn't.

I didn't kill her after the birth, no matter the monstrosity that came out of her, but it seems she was fated to die anyway. Fated to give me the oh so important umbilical cord. She finally confessed her love before she passed. She had the same problem with self-worth as I have, so I understood why it took so long. I only smiled and confessed back. I love you, and...

All the more hurt.

Lesson learned. Message received. Don't get close, and definitely don't fall in love. Are you an idiot?

I really, really am.

I was, am an empathetic person by nature, so, no matter their figure or origins, my naiveté survived through the suffering. I kept connecting, so kept trying to save. Then I failed, and failed, and failed, and...

Was all the more hurt.

I took a glance at the beautifully deceptive flowers around me. The place of the final battle and the place of a journey ended. It only concreted my decision. Usually, at the end, the player either left the dream, became its new guardian, or became the entity that kept the nightmare as a whole running.

While not false, I knew better now. This wasn't a game, and no matter the choice, this world is doomed. They called upon the Great Ones, expecting riches and answers. If only they understood their existence, their origins, they never would have called upon them.

The Great Ones weren't mindless, but nor were they in control of their impulses. There were some that were actually inherently kind, in a way, but when you have so much power even thinking could bring suffering... It did not end well. They operated in truth to their Origin, Origins that were strict as they were diverse. Child care, faith, destruction, ambition, avarice, pride, balance... love, and many, many more. They were Gods that happily answered your prayers. Happily misunderstood them. And happily solved your problem with a bigger one. The monkey paw version of the Greek Gods. Well, worse monkey pawing.

It was hard to truly hate them though, they just didn't understand. Couldn't understand. But neither could we.

I could now, not that it helped. The transformation taking place in my body opened many doors, just as much as it was restricting. I had absorbed many of the Great Ones powers, but the Moon Presence had set itself as an inherent part of this world when it fell. I wasn't human anymore even before this transformation, but it was demanding I take its place. Keep the nightmare going. Become a Great One. Not the amalgamation of beings I was now.

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The most powerful Great One, the Moon Presence, operated dreams. It was the power that allowed the other Great Ones to descend on this plane. To have more influence and presence.

You wanted them here, right? It was only answering a prayer. It wasn't its fault. Your prayers of saving the city, saving Yharnam? It did that also with the Hunters. How nice of it.

Of course, I kept it at bay. There was no way I'd become a thing that took so much from the world itself. Thankfully, I had a secret weapon.

It felt heavy in my pocket as I reached for it. It was an item I had from day one, but couldn't use. Not until I completed the objective on the first page. I opened it there, the worn book that seemed to hold all the answers.

'Defeat the Moon Presence.'

I had flipped through the book when I first arrived and there was no way I couldn't recognize what it entailed. How I arrived. Behind that first page, but locked, was, ridiculously, the Waifu Catalog. Not only though, there were options there that I don't remember seeing on the original.

Bloodborne was a Tier 9 world, I disagreed with that, but it did allot me 1545 points to spend. Really though, there was only one option that had my attention.

Multiverse Travel (1000) - The ability to freely travel worlds. No tier and point restrictions.

It spit in the face of how the Catalog was structured and was the single most important ability to have.

- 1000

I didn't care for much else after purchasing it, but there was another purchase that could solve my transformation problem. It was risky though, with me already suffering from issues with bloodlust and rage. Two traits that couldn't be further from how I was as a person.

Dragon Heart and Scale would give me the same issues. Only of the Dragon variety, but if there was anything I was confident in at this point, it was my willpower. I took the 200 point hit.

Left with 345 points, I purchased without too much thought. I was powerful already and have survived without the Book's help so far.

Truthfully, I felt like it was used to mock me. All this power locked behind an objective that saw me no need for it in the end. Definitely was mocking.

Sticky Fingers, Faerie Feast, Martial Talent, and Mind Defense brought me down 295.

Concerns about loss caused me to purchase Dragon Thrall, if only for a method of binding without Mind Control implications. Sharing Everlasting would be important.

The last 195 was spent on Trace Defense, then the outliers. The options that definitely weren't on the original Catalog. Categories of Harry Potter magic -- Transfiguration, Charms, Divination, and Apparation were 30 points each, leaving me with 40 points. It would be possible to achieve the same results with my power over Dreams, able to bring them to reality, but the Harry Potter magics wouldn't cause minds to break. Wouldn't slowly corrode and corrupt like the Great One's.

The purchase complete, a calm came over me, the voices and impulses finally quieting. 'Mind Defense.'

My transformation stalled, then started, then stalled in a repeating cycle, until seemingly deciding which direction to take. The lock I felt binding me to this nightmare fell away, as greed, lust, and pride took its place. Mind Defense quieted those also, just not quietly enough.

I'll deal with it. It's better than being bound to Dreams.

That power was still there but wouldn't see much use. If there's anything that actually made me feel hate, it would be taking someone's control. Hypocritical in a way, considering I'm a murderer now, but I'll try to stick to morals, no matter how loose.

Done with that, I took a final glance at the fields of flowers and area around, pointedly ignoring the Moon Presence. The sky seemed to be shattering and the flowers wilting.

Still, though, the Moon stood tall, overlooking the falling Dream. I had appreciated its beauty when first entering, despite knowing of its lies. I still do.

In spite of what was done, it was a lie that held a promise. A promise ruined by human greed.

Or perhaps, it already held that greed in its clutches.

Shaking my head, I cleared my thoughts before exiting the field of flowers.

Outside, standing ever so dutifully, was the Plain Doll. Or, the name she still has not accepted, Elena. She could pass for my sister honestly, having similar hair color, slim build, and height. The eyes and features were what separated her from my drastically changed body. I had blonde hair and green eyes before arriving, now it was silver hair with crimson eyes. I was also tall before, now I was taller. Too tall. Thankfully, my features remain mostly unchanged. Only being more symmetrical and perfected. I didn't suffer from problems of self-image before, only conditioned self-worth, so it hadn't really bothered me.

"It seems you've come to a decision, Good Hunter." Her soothing voice calmed my conflicted emotions from looking at her. I'm an idiot and I fall in love easily. It's a problem that dates back to before this forced nightmare.

And I did love her, though I'm not sure anything will come of it. I tried to shower her in affection, tried to bring out the emotions I knew were there. Tried to return the gratitude I felt. I had been making progress, able to have her confide in me when those restrained emotions finally started making an appearance. Sadly, despite how long the night has been, it hadn't waited for feelings to be sorted.

"I have," I said softly, in place of what I wanted to say. I was hesitating, and I knew it. This place held importance to her and, despite not being able to return the same kind of affection, she held some for the first Hunter, Gehrman. I could care less about the man, knowing his objective creating her then throwing her away when it wasn't achieved, but this is all she's known. The Dream that she has no chance of waking from, for she is a dream herself.

A dark chuckle escaped my lips, as I brought up my hands. Channeling the Dream for the first, and most likely last, time.

Fuck the Dream, it could bring something other than suffering for once.

Rainbow colored mist consolidated around the still neutral Plain Doll. Changing. Adapting.

Bringing Reality.

The power ended with a flash of light and in its place stood Elena, finally showing emotion. Finally able to show emotion. I watched as she brought a hand to her face, tears forming in her eyes.

I had to step in when she started bawling uncontrollably. Oops.

The crying continued for a long while, me joining in the endeavor. But when it finally ended, it ended in giggles. I was happy for her, knowing she held so much love -- For the Hunters, for the Dream, for the World. She was probably the greatest thing, along with Arianna, that this world has produced. This hellhole of a world...

I reached out and lifted her when it was accepted, the breakdown somehow ending up on the ground. Where our hands were connected, she showed slight amazement. It was so pure and curious, it brought a smile to my face. It also made the words I wanted to say easier.

"I'm leaving, not only Yharnam but this world... Elena." I said, chancing the name. "I would like you to come with me."

Despite the naivety she's been showing, Elena is also wise. Wiser than me at least, so I knew she would understand what I was asking.

Her face turned serious and her eyes started wondering. Observing the breaking dream around us. There wasn't much of a sky left, and the ground was slowly closing in around us. There was no hope for it.

"It's ending, isn't it?" She asked quietly, almost too low to hear.

"It is." I said firmly. I wouldn't, couldn't keep the Dream going. Possibly create my own, when I can use it without disgust, but not now.

She regarded me for a second, her eyes scrunched in thought.

She had no control over her expressions, them being too new, and the emotion I expected wasn't there. In place of the blame I expected, I could see affection.

"I will go with you... Lyle."

My smile widened.