HoH Field Trip 2 Electric Boogaloo part 1

“Right then people. Your passports.” Tom declared, handing out the stack of little red pamphlets. Saph looked down at her new piece of paperwork, paging through it. She was more than a little excited. Today would be the first time they would be allowed to simply go where they pleased. No meetings, no official business, no massive escorts, dignitaries, or politicians. Just a nice field trip with some friends to go see some things and have a nice day out.

They had dreamt of this for a long time by now and Saph didn’t want to say it but Jacky winning that bet with Tom was certainly worth losing to her on purpose. A girls day out plus Tom not some big group trip with so many people it would just become another guided tour. This was going to be awesome.

“Seems almost familiar,” Essy chuckled, rubbing the pages together. “Nice and simple.”

“My picture looks off,” Fengi protested, showing it to Jacky, who didn’t seem amused. Jacky showed Fengi her own picture, which left Fengi trying not to break out laughing.

“Why did you try to bare your teeth?”

“Tom said you smile in pictures…” Jacky replied slack-earedly.

“Then smile you dumb dumb. Not grin maniacally like you are ready to eat the camera!” Fengi burst out as she broke down laughing, the others made their way around to look at the photo too.

“Hey, I tried to look friendly!”

“You know you are gonna have to do that face at every person who has to let you in,” Dakota chuckled, Jacky looking pleadingly to Tom. Their little human just nodded very seriously, though there was just a slight twitch of a smile on his face.

“Oh for fucks sake!” she protested, flicking her head back in annoyance. “Why did we need these things anyway?”

“Because you are now Danish citizens. That is your documentation of such, which will allow you to go a lot of places and not get stopped by, say, police; or worse, taken in for interrogation or experimentation… Theoretically,” Tom replied, seeming a touch uncomfortable. “We’ll be fine, I’m sure. I know most of you have been before, but just be aware most people here will never have seen anything like you before. Except maybe on the news or internet.”

Saph just lifted an eyebrow at that, looking at him and hoping he would explain that a bit more, but their human tour guide was apparently not feeling forthcoming.

“I can’t hold mine,” Jarix rumbled, looking down at them.

“I’ve got it, big guy. Don’t you worry… You look good in yours,” Saph went, holding up the passport for him to see, the dragon bringing his head down to inspect the document. Zarko and Radexi had gotten tied up in military paperwork and didn’t have passports yet, so Jarix would be accompanying them without a crew. It wasn’t like he would need them anyway, if Tom’s claims of how safe his world was were to be believed, and they could use a ride, so why not bring the fastest flier around.

“You’re right. You nearly can’t see how hard it was to get my head in that booth,” the dragon replied, nodding a bit, seeming quite pleased with himself.

“Anywho. We have quite the program ahead of us,” Tom interjected, getting their attention. “You all have your belts? Wouldn’t want anyone keeling over with a heart attack or something, now would we?”

“You didn’t mention that last time we went,” Dakota grumbled, checking over the anti-grav belts. “It’s just push the button, right?”

“Yup. Haven’t figured out how to make them adjustable, but they should help a lot. How’s your harness, Jarix?”

“Seems fine. Don’t feel any different.”

“You will, don’t you worry. Saph, you are gonna want to turn it on as soon as we are through.”

“Sir, yes, sir,” Saph replied, doing a salute as she stood next to Tiguan.

“Aren’t we technically diplomats?” Dakota questioned, putting away her passport.

“Yup. Bizmati Keep diplomatic corp. Every one of us. Don’t think that will be important until we leave the country though.”

“Right, many countries. Where are we going?” Saph asked, not actually having heard what the program was. The last few days had been bureaucratic hell, and Tom had never actually told them in detail.

“Well, first stop is just the nearest big city. I think someone needs to go shopping.”

“But Tom, we don’t have any human money,” Ray pointed out, seeming quite confused. Saph saw Essy pull a slight smile, as if she already knew something Ray didn’t.

“Do they take gold?” Fengi asked with a head tilt.

“Nope… I mean someone might, wouldn’t recommend it though. I’ve had something sorted out though. I think we are good,” Tom went with a knowing smirk.

“You know, selling off a few of Linkosta’s hobby projects isn’t as smart as it sounds, Tom,” Dakota interjected, shaking her head a little. “They had sentimental value.”

“She gave me a shopping list in exchange. I think she’ll be quite happy in the end. You wouldn’t believe what the US military would pay for magic homing systems.”

“Wait, so you are rich now?” Jacky questioned, snapping to attention.

“He was already rich. You really are flying upwind today, aren’t you?” Shiva added, not seeming terribly impressed, though the smith had generally been in a pretty good mood thus far. Even her stony facade seemingly struggling with not being excited about seeing another world. She had been before to see about some of the materials they were planning to trade for. According to Jacky, she hadn’t shut up for three days after going to see a human steelworks.

“I hate paperwork,” Jacky admitted, looking down before something clicked in her mind. “Do we get to see a gun store?”

“Yes Jacky, we get to see a gun store at some point,” Tom admitted with a bit of a sigh. Jacky’s enthusiasm was quite contagious though, as she cheered loudly, raising her arms high before running over to pick Tom up. “I knew you would come through for me!”

“I did most of your paperwork too, Sweetie,” Tom protested as Jacky hugged him a little tighter, smiling wide.

“Aww come on!” Fengi protested, Dakota and Essy just looking at each other, not sure what the fuss was about.

After Jacky had put down her beloved Tom, the group had made for the newest building that had been erected surrounding the old keep. The bunker-like structure, built of granite blocks, housed the portal they had managed to establish nearly a year ago. Not that much had come of it until the truly massive bureaucratic shit-show had been settled. Now though, it sounded like they were soon going to be running the portal as often as they could fuel it. Saph had been through it only twice before, and that had been for short visits, not counting the ‘first contact’ they had made—which had been one hell of a day. After their initial visit, they had left the contact and diplomacy to the actual trained diplomats.

Now though, it was their turn to get to experience an entirely alien world in full. Even if they had cheated a bit before with the whole jump apparatus Tom had fashioned. That was expensive to use though. This was much smarter, and they could actually go out in public proper. Even if Tom had warned them they would likely get a lot of attention.

Walking through the open doors to the portal room, the large rotating disk was already humming away. Tom had insisted on calling it the “big ass stargate” for some reason. Likely yet another movie they would have to see at some point.

The sensation was just as strange as ever, if not even stranger, since it was slower than Saph remembered it. The world went blurry as she ran through, hoping to make the experience as quick as possible. A Kaleidoscope of colors danced over her vision as her back was cooked while her front felt like she had flown into a blizzard. Then it was over as quickly as it had started. They all came jogging down the ramp on the other side, staggering a little, Ray seeming a little sick. It was her first time after all, but Saph had insisted on bringing her along. It just felt wrong to leave her.

They cleared the ramp and Jarix came barreling through, Saph watching in anticipation to see what the heavy gravity would do to the dragon. She had two gold riding on this after all.

She let out a cheer as the dragon stumbled and fell over with a crash, sliding along the ramp before coming to stop with a pained expression on his face.

“Welcome to Earth, Jarix. I hope you’ll like it,” Tom chuckled as Saph quickly ran over and turned on his harness, the dragon lifting himself off the ground.

“Aowww… For the record, that didn’t happen.”

“Of course not,” Tom replied, turning to walk out of the very similar-looking room, Saph glancing at one of the security cameras on the wall.

‘Sure it didn’t,’ she snickered to herself as she joined the others. Jacky rushed ahead excitedly, Fengi fast on her tail. ‘Here we go then.’

__________________________________________________________________________________

‘Oh my gods, this is amazing!’ Ray squeaked to herself, looking down at all the strange scenery sliding by below. So many little trees and what looked more like parts of a city just built in the middle of forests and fields. And those rolling fields! There were so many of them, stretching as far as the eye could see. She had seen pictures before, but this was the real thing. They had to take a picnic or something out there at one point. She was a little sad Tiguan wasn’t coming this time around, but he would get his chance, she was sure of that. That means she needed to learn as much as she could on this trip so she could take him to go see things too. It certainly sounded like Tom had a lot planned.

She wasn’t so sure about going to a big city, but that was the first thing they had planned. She had talked with Fengi too, the younger huntress deciding to rest a bit on Jarix’s back as they flew. Ray knew all about Fengi’s past by now, so to say the both of them weren’t fond of cities was not a stretch. Then again, this was an entirely different kind of city with entirely different people, and, by the sounds of it, there would be no hiding in dark alleys here.

As they flew, several “villages” as Tom called them glided by down below. Several of them Ray would have called towns at least, but Tom was adamant. When they passed what he called a “town,” she could see why. It certainly couldn’t compare with the capital, but they were big and there were many of them. Then the big city had hoved into view and Ray had to agree. This one certainly could compete with the capital for size. It was all so flat though. No massive cliff spire in the middle, and most of the buildings didn’t seem that tall.

Tom had been using something he called a sat nav to navigate. It had calmed Jarix down quite a bit that they did in fact know where they were and where they were going thanks to the magic-yet-not-magic map. Apparently, they only had certain places they were allowed to fly, and only below a certain height too. It certainly suited Jarix just fine. He liked to fly lower and faster than Tiguan. It was good fun.

The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

They had come down in this big black patch of very smooth stone with white lines painted all over it making little boxes that the cars she had seen in a lot of the pictures were sitting in.

“Really. Our first destination is a parking lot?” Dakota had asked as Jarix looked around.

“You aren’t leaving me here, right?” the dragon asked, seeming a little worried as he eyed the abandoned vehicles and the rather quickly growing crowd.

“No, not for long at least. That’s a supermarket. I thought we should go grab a few snacks for the trip. Besides, I have no clue how to buy a parking ticket for you, so we will have to be quick.”

“A ticket?” the dragon questioned, clearly not following.

“If someone comes up to you speaking a weird language trying to give you a fine, just snarl a bit at them. I doubt they would know how to deal with that.”

“Uhm… okay... Do they have anything in dragon size in there?” Jarix asked with the expression of someone who knew that was a joke but kinda hoped it wasn’t.

“Tell you what, I’ll have a look,” Tom replied, seeming entirely serious as those who had been riding the dragon disembarked, the others coming in for a landing.

“I’ll stay with Jarix,” Saph went, going over to lean up the dragon’s front leg. “Just get me some chocolate.”

“You mean all the chocolate,” Fengi replied, nearly jogging in place with anticipation.

“Indeed, all the chocolate,” Tom echoed.

Ray had heard of this chocolate before, but she hadn’t actually tried it yet. Looking around, people had already started following them, looking intently. Many of them took out those funny little phone things holding them up while looking at them, some talking into them. Ray just smiled and waved as she followed the others, sticking close. She had kinda hoped Saph wouldn’t stay behind, but Essy and Dakota wouldn’t back down, and they had Jacky if it came to it. So she was safe here, even with all this attention pointing her way.

That didn’t make her feel much better, though, until they entered the large glass doors, which just moved out of the way for them. Ray caught herself bowing to the door when she assumed there must have been a doorman. Her attention was quickly snapped away though, as she beheld the massive rows of shelves with all manner of items strewn everywhere. Their group came to a halt to marvel at all the things on display as she heard Tom and a few of the others chuckling behind her. She didn’t care, though, as she tried to make out some things she recognized. Most of it was so alien. So colorful. Everything looked pretty, even a bucket full of shovels looked good. The shovels actually shone like they had been lacquered!

“Welcome to Bilka. We don’t need that much here, but they have the largest candy department I know of, so come along now,” Tom went, leading the way. People cleared a path for them and gawked as they walked by.

It just kept going and going with more and more random things. There had been an entire area with what was apparently products to make you look better. Tom was only just about managing to keep them moving to their first stop. After a quick discussion between what must be an employee and Tom in that strange language, several boxes had been brought out for them. Tom opened one showing them their new phones.

When Ray was handed hers, she inspected the odd slab of glass and metal. It was undoubtedly pretty even as it was, but after looking over Fengi’s shoulder, she managed to get it to light up. The screen was the most marvelous blue as they all started doing what Tom told them. One of the employees came over to help her, looking both very excited and almost scared at the same time.

She just smiled at him, looking down to see what he was doing with interest. After a bit the phone looked much like Tom’s one that she had gotten to use a few times before. She bowed her head slightly at the guy, who smiled back and moved off to help Fengi. As she began exploring this new phone, Ray was struck by a sudden realisation.

“Wait. Are you paying for all this?”

“Yup. Well, I guess the keep is. But ehm… yeah, let’s just say the money spent is gonna be trivial in relation to what we are going to be making.”

Ray just looked to Fengi, who looked as incredulous as Ray felt right now. ‘Whatever did you do to deserve this place,’ she chuckled to herself, clutching the phone to her chest for a second before going back to figuring out how it worked.

“Hey, I got the camera to work,” Fengi let out, pointing the phone at Jacky. “Smile!”

“Not funny… How do I make it play games?” Jacky questioned, tapping away on the screen to no avail.

“I thought you were supposed to be good at this, Jacky?” Dakota questioned, looking over to Essy, who was deep in concentration. “What’s that?”

“I think it’s for sending messages and talking with people… Have you got Messenger to work yet?” Essy questioned, looking over at Dakota’s phone, their fearless leader clearing her throat once.

“Not quite yet… where is that?” She questioned, looking to her old friend’s phone, clearly trying to work out what she was looking for.

‘Messenger,’ Ray thought to herself as she started searching too. ‘I wonder how you spell that? Oh no, it’s not draconic... ’ she muttered, looking around for the nice guy. She was really not very good at reading English yet. She had gotten okay at speaking it though. She spotted the nice guy from before, going over and gently poking him on the shoulder. “nessenger, please?” she questioned, showing him the phone.

“Of course, ma’am, just one second,” he replied, very kindly taking the phone.

‘Wow, they are all really nice… I wonder if it’s because we just spent a lot of money?’

__________________________________________________________________________________

“Right then… What do we do now?” Jarix questioned, trying to get comfortable on the admittedly rather warm black stone the humans called tarmac.

“I don’t really know,” Saph replied, looking around at all the people who didn’t look like they knew if getting closer was a good idea. “I think you have plenty of potential new friends to talk to though… Think any of them have flown on dragon back before?”

“No…” Jarix replied half-heartedly as his head tilted. “What’s that?”

Saph looked over to see what he had caught a glimpse of, seeing an odd, furry, four legged thing secured by a leash, standing next to a young looking human man. The guy was clearly gossiping with a woman next to him who seemed about the same age, with a wide smile on his face. ‘awww a human couple’ Saph mused sweetly. looking down at the furry pet.

“I think that’s a dog. Haven’t seen that kind before though. There are a lot of them apparently. Like really a lot.”

“I see…” the dragon replied, moving his head a bit closer as the dog began barking, causing him to pull his head back. “What an angry little creature.”

“No, Tom said they are protective,” Saph went, getting up. “He also said they are very friendly though. Let me go have a chat. I want to pet it.”

The human man had yanked on the leash, scolding the dog who to its credit did shut up, sitting next to the man’s leg, staring up at Jarix.

“Hi. Is that your dog?” Saph questioned, reaching out her hand to him and trying her best to sound like Tom, though she could only cringe at the accent she still had. It was probably unavoidable though, so what the hell. The dog certainly looked suspicious, letting out a slight growl before the man tugged on the leash again, giving her his other hand. “Yes, this is Yogi. Don’t mind him, he hasn’t seen… dragons before.”

“Yorgii,” Saph echoed, looking down at the dog. “I have not seen dog before,” she replied.

“Is that so…” The man replied with what she took for genuine surprise “Well he’s a border collie. Doesn’t normally bite... perhaps take it a little slow though. No offense.”

“None taken,” Saph went, crouching down and slowly reaching out her hand to the dog who started sniffing her, not seeming sold on the whole idea.

“Maybe try a treat?” the man suggested, starting to rummage around his pockets, eventually handing her a funny-looking little brown thing. She sniffed it a few times, and it didn’t actually smell half-bad. Maybe a bit like dried field rations, but not bad. Looking back to the dog, she certainly had its attention now, as it was doing little tippy taps with its front paws, licking its mouth.

“Yogi, dæk,” the man ordered, Yogi lying down on the ground, still looking at Saph. “Oh, he does tricks?” she questioned as she delicately handed the dog the treat, fearing it might snap at her fingers. It just started licking her hand, though, until she gave up the treat, which it quickly chewed, clearly happy, tail wagging furiously.

“There we go,” Saph went as she experimentally moved her hand closer to the dog, eventually petting it on the head. ‘Great success.’

“Når hvordan føles det at blive klappet af en alien?” the guy went in a questioning tone, Saph looking up at him.

“Sorry. I don’t speak Lego,” Saph chuckled, tilting her head.

“Oh sorry. I was speaking to Yogi,” the man replied in an apologetic tone, seemingly not deciding to translate.

“I see,” Saph just went back to petting the dog, feeling its soft fur. “Oh you are a fluffy one. Yes, you are,” she chuckled as the dog rolled over in submission tail wagging. ‘Huh… that was easy,’ she mused to herself as she kept petting. ‘I guess you aren’t much of a warrior after all.’

“Uhm, Saph?...” came the rather unsure voice of a dragon from behind her in draconic. Looking back, she saw a person in a black uniform with some kind of neon green vest on, currently looking at Jarix. “They are making strange noises and looking at a piece of paper.”

“Right… I’ll be right back,” Saph went with a smile, giving the dog a last pat and getting up, going to confront this new person. “So. How I help you?”

__________________________________________________________________________________

“Three thousand crowns for a parking ticket,” Tom grumbled as Jarix walked alongside, following the human as he lead the way out of the car park “Damn robbery if you ask me.”

“Well, it was only seven fifty per parking space,” Saph shrugged. “And how was I supposed to know it was a fine? She just said “pay” and gave me a slip of paper then ran off looking scared.”

“Saph, you haven’t learned the value of their money yet?” Shiva questioned with a sigh. ‘Someone didn’t do their homework. I could get a lot of their nice aluminum for that… I wonder how much might be in one of those cars?’ Shiva pondered to herself, looking around the car park. ‘Almost a shame they are so good at painting. I would love to see one with a mirror polish.’

“Well, it’s not like Jarix has a number plate, so I’m not paying this,” Tom chuckled, waving at a group of children that looked up at Jarix awestruck.

“Wouldn’t that make us criminals?” Dakota questioned, seeming a touch skeptical.

“I doubt dragon parking laws are a thing yet.”

“Fair point…” The gilded huntress yielded “So where to now then?”

“Well the shopping strip. It’s just a long street with nothing but stores lining either side. Jarix won’t fit in a mall, so this is the next best thing.”

“So… Do we have like a budget, or how is this going to work?” Jacky questioned, looking to Ray, who was busy being taught which chocolates were the tastiest by Fengi as they walked.

“Indeed you do,” Tom went, climbing up Jarix’s leg onto his harness, gesturing for the dragon to just keep walking as he fetched something from the harness.

“Can’t actually remember last time I held this much cash,” he chuckled as he started bringing out bundles of bills. “You all have your new wallets, right?”

They all quickly got out their freshly acquired money-holding devices as Tom handed out the wads of cash. Shiva did a quick count. ‘Not bad,’ the smith mused, looking to Ray, who was predictably looking down at the bundle eyes wide, with chocolate staining the edges of her mouth.

“This is your pocket money. It’s yours. What you don’t use you get to keep. Just keep in mind that’s for this whole little trip. I think you will find it sufficient. We’ll get you some credit cards another time.”

“That’s the magic money card you have, right?” Jacky questioned, looking at Tom as she was organizing her wallet.

“And your mother,” Shiva smirked from behind Jacky, causing her daughter to look back at her in confusion. “What? You thought I bought enough metal to equip a small army with paper?”

“How much money is on it?”

“A large amount that is for the procurement of materials for the keep. Not our entertainment.”

Jacky’s expression grew a little questioning before she turned back to Tom, tilting her head over once again, trying to imitate Fengi. ‘You aren’t cute, silly girl. He won’t fall for it.’

“You have more than enough money, sweety. If you don’t spend it all on jewelry, you could buy a very nice rifle or something like that.”

“Oh, are the products of my forge not up to standard?” Shiva asked teasingly, causing Jacky to whip around again.

“It’s for the collection. I want a human one too.”

“Fair. How else would you see the difference in craftsmanship?” Shiva chuckled. She knew exactly what she wanted to buy with her money and that Jacky had no chance of limiting herself to one gun. It was her money though, she could do with it what she pleased.

It had certainly been interesting to walk down the street, looking up she constantly felt like there should be more there but it was just open sky after two or three stories of building. It had been stuffed to bursting with humans, an ever-growing contingent of people with cameras joining their impromptu entourage. One person with a microphone came up to Shiva as she was looking through a window into what seemed to be a handbag maker’s shop. They had started speaking in that funny-sounding language, Shiva not being able to make much of it out. Her Danish vocabulary was mostly swear words.

She had just let them speak, then when they held out the microphone she had replied in draconic. She told them they really should consider growing a brain then turned to leave. To her surprise, that didn’t seem to phase the person. as she felt them grab her hand and start again in English.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to offend. Would you care to give a statement on why you are here today out in public?”

Shiva turned back to her, pulling back her hand, pointedly looming over the hilariously small woman. She would honestly look small next to Unkai, it was all she could manage not to start laughing right away as she did her best to seem ominous, which was quite clearly working as the human shrank further. “Shopping trip.”

“Yo mum. You have to try this,” came the very excited voice of Jacky from behind her. The smith turned away from her quarry to see what Jacky had found this time, having an odd looking cone with some balls stacked atop it thrust into her face. “Ice cream cone. And I know you like chocolate too. There is caramel in there too.”

“What is caramel?” Shiva questioned, taking the delicate looking item and looking to Jacky, who was busy licking a very similar looking contraption.

“Just try it. Come on, before it melts.”

Shiva did as instructed, eyes going wide as she quickly started lapping up the delectable concoction. ‘This is amazing.’

“Excuse me me, but I have...” the voice piped up from behind her again as Shiva and Jacky started walking off with their treats. Shiva just ignored them, slapping them in the face with her tail as she concentrated whole heartedly on the ice cream. “What did this marvelous thing cost?”

“Like Fifty of those crown things. Can’t even get a decent lunch for that here.”

“Incredible.”