In the days since Sammie broke her arm it seemed that all was quiet on the Wester front, yet a silent war still raged on. Even without the expected presence of the TC she was in turmoil because she now knew that what she saw wasn’t a dream. After being able to think it seemed that there were both missing and new memories in her head that should or shouldn’t be there respectively.
Where there had once been fond memories of what she did at her favorite childhood haunt Dankles putt-putt course, a place which was now decrepit as her mother found a hair in her soft drink, there were now small snippets of someone else’s life. This lady, also named Sarah, was some sort of beautician who did make up. But if this wasn’t bad enough, she also learned that this world was a romance book called, “Speedy Fallings, Lifetimes of love”. Gah! What sort of fresh and fruity sh*t was this gonna be.
And because all of these memories were incomplete, as it was just name, skills, and book, she had no clue who any of the characters were other than the male lead. His name was Harold Lancaster, her “soft” fiance who was even richer than her; “soft” as it had yet to be set in stone. If Sammie remembered correctly he was a pretty boy, one of those “I look weak but act strong cause I got an ego as big as my d*ck is small,” kinda persons. Ugh.
Not only was the ML gross but, based on her extensive 1 hr crash course research on sh*tty highschool romance novels, the FL would be that sort of person too(minis the d*ck and plus the pitiful). Worst of all however, was the position she was in, as the childhood acquaintance/fiance she would turn into the vicious villainess who bullied the FL. It fit alright, a rich background with a ruthless parent, a track record for being bad, and a high social position in school.
Sammie sighed obnoxiously loud before deciding to look it up just to be sure. On a laptop worth too much to count that could practically run quantum computations to predict the end of the universe as we know it she looked up, “I b villian in high school rom novel?” As scientists fell like flies the results showed up in 3.5x10-100,000 seconds.
“Scientific analysis of possible alternate dimensions”, “Common Transmigration Tropes”, “Top 10 Transmigration BL”, “Increase in Delusional Students”, “8th Grader Syndrome”. . . Out of all of these she chose the one she the found most reliable, “Buzzeat Quiz - Which character am I in a Romance Book?”.
She clicked on it and question 1 out of 5 came up, “Male or Female?”. She entered female. “Rich or Poor?”, rich of course. “Rude or polite to elders?”, This one was easy, she called her mom tough c*nt so rude. “Face slapper or face slapee”, thinking back to all of the alley fights she was in she was always punching others so face slapper. Then, the final question came around, ”Do you like a popular guy?”. No, her click resounded out, sealing her Buzzeat fate.
A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
With great anticipation she awaited the results, clicking the many x’s which tried to block her way. At last, with an ailing finger and sore hand she reached the golden land. It said,
You are a Supporting Female Character. You are quite capable and sure of yourself, able to handle rough times, but you are also flawed. This disqualifies you as female lead because you do not respect the elderly. As a supporting female character you will gravitate towards the presence of the Female Lead and aid her with funds, though being friends will make you the female equivalent of a c*ckhold because any boy you eventually like will only like the FL. Luckily, you have no relation to the Male Lead . . .
Wait one moment, does being a popular kid’s fiance count as liking him to this quiz? Redoing the tortuous examination, much too long in Sammie’s opinion, she received new results by clicking yes on question 5.
You are the Female Villainess. Capable and rich and without discipline you will offend all. However, as your position is high others will act submissive to you while hating you behind your back. When the Female Lead appears she will garner the interest of your beloved, earning your ire. Using all of the powers at your disposal you will attempt to do away with her. However, when you ultimately fail at this endeavor everyone you trust will turn against you, other than those who are punished along with you.
Well F*ck, that doesn’t sound good, Sammie thought after reading her results. Knowing that sleeping on it, like sleeping on a bed sore, would do no good she got back to thinking. Puting that largely unused space known as her head into overdrive she felt her intuition and streetsmarts try to make up for her lack of book smarts. As time flew her thoughts tunneled through possible futures and bloomed into possibilities as extensive as the yggdrasil tree.
With that the pieces of the puzzle began to click. Her fiance Harold is the ML and he is pretty. Harold is a good student and good student = attends class. FL will be pretty and smart and smart usually = attends class. She just promised her mom to go to class = has to go attend class. Bullying between FLs and Villains occurs in public places so villains can be caught in the act, class = public space. The five letter word screamed out in her mind “CLASS”, that is where it would all happen and because she promised her mom she had to go to class. F*ckidy f*ck f*ck is right, she was doomed.
Wallowing in despair for the long moment of five minutes her mind cleared when she realized that all she needed to do was befriend the female lead. Once that happened she could hug the golden thigh that the FL owned and sail straight through these final few months of high school. Once this was all over it would just be a bad dream.
Looking back however, Sammie realized one big problem, she had no normal female friends. All of the ones she did have were tough, muscular, and could skin a rabbit with a look. Sammie sighed, she wished she was like that, but instead she only ever gained lean muscle no matter how hard she tried to become beefy. Maybe this experience would finally put meaning into why that was.
Knowing that she had no clue how “girls” became friends she went to her last hope, the internet. Killing off another few thousand scientists from outrage she looked up, “How 2 get a girl 2 like y.” From here Sammie Craze went down the path of no return. From sites claiming 3 ways all the way to 100 ways she eagerly ate in tips and tricks to get a girl to like you.
Meanwhile, her subconscious watched as the mindscape filled with useless advice and cried, her sobbs echoing in the valleys created by the piles of trash. And like this, she spent the next two days before finally going back to school with a cast on her arm.