I woke up to the sound of raindrops beating on my window with my head throbbing and my nasal cavities clogged. Yep, I'd known this would happen. Although I hadn't thought I would pay for my mistakes so quickly.
Yesterday, I hadn't gotten back home in time and had gotten caught in a downpour. I had been completely drenched by the time I'd finally shuffled back into my place. The warm shower had helped, but hadn't saved me from getting a cold in the end.
I forced my sluggish body to get out of the bed, got changed, and made my way to the bathroom. I figured I would have to call the school and tell them I was sick. That sucked. I’d wanted to confess to Flare after school. Now I couldn't. What a relief... no! Stupid mind! Stop being relieved! I'd promised Mom I would do it today!
But I couldn't do anything about the cold. It wasn't like I could magic away the illness and make myself healthy again.
Wait... what the heck was I going on about? I totally could do all of that. That's what my power did. I was such an idiot. Has the cold invaded my brain as well?
After that little revelation, I focused on my power and let it spread all over my body. It didn't take long until I spotted these microscopic irregularities all around my respiratory system. I couldn't analyze them very well, but I knew they were there. It felt like tiny points of static buzzing around.
So I got rid of them. It surprised me a bit that I was even able to affect things on such a tiny scale. Not that I was going to complain though. Once I got rid of all of them, I worked on returning myself to the default state and clearing my nose. In a few minutes, I felt as good as new. My power was secretly kind of ridiculous, wasn't it?
With that taken care of, I flushed the toilet, washed my hands, smiled at my reflection in the mirror, and headed to the kitchen to make breakfast. The ambient sound of rain outside broke the usual morning silence.
As I made my sandwich and subsequently ate it, I fell into thought.
When my power had changed me, not even a week ago, I'd felt like a new person. I'd felt like I could do anything, like I was set, like it couldn't get any better. But thanks to yesterday, I had come to realize that there were still things I hadn’t properly faced and dealt with. Things I could still work on to better myself. After all, life wasn't like a video game, where you reached a goal and then won. No, life continued even after you overcame one problem. It was a never-ending cycle. Continuously trying your hardest to overcome new obstacles was what it meant to be alive.
Ugh. I'd gotten philosophical again.
I finished my breakfast and washed the dishes before going on to brush my teeth in the bathroom. Then I went back to my room, grabbed my bag and an umbrella, picked a jacket out of my wardrobe, and headed outside.
Once I left the building, I headed to the bus stop as usual. The intense rain kept whaling on my umbrella, drowning out all other sounds. I wasn't a fan of rain; it made me feel small and powerless again.
As I got closer to the bus station, I spotted Flare already waiting there. Several thoughts flashed through my mind. My completely out-of-line surprise hug from yesterday, then the thought that she looked very striking in that blue nylon jacket and those black nylon pants, and then finally, my worries about her potential reaction to my confession.
I took a deep breath to clear my head and walked up to her, saying hi. No hugs today, we would both get drenched anyway.
She greeted me back and we got to chatting.
“So I don't know what it's like flying through a rain this heavy, but I don't feel like finding out!” Flare chuckled. ”Especially not with wings made of fire.”
“Yeah, I think we should take a day off as heroes today. Maybe even a few days.”
I'd been ready to convince her that going out as heroes today was a bad idea, but I didn't even have to come up with an excuse thanks to the rain. Lightshow’d said today was really bad, and tomorrow was bad as well. She said Friday, Saturday, and Sunday were so-so, but I had no idea what that even meant, so better play it safe. I didn't even want to think why it was a bad idea to not go out as heroes on Monday.
“Sure, I think the last two days were pretty intense, a little break won't hurt.”
I nodded.
The bus eventually arrived and we boarded it, finding out seats and putting our drenched umbrellas to our feet.
“Hey, look. It's a thread about yesterday.” She showed me her phone.
'The Lightbearers and the Liberators were duking it out, until the heroes arrived, chased off the Lightbearers and arrested the Liberators.'
“Hmm... it doesn't mention us at all,” I said after skimming the contents.”They just give all the credit to the heroes.” I frowned. “Even though it was mostly the Lightbearers and partially us.”
“Well, I'm just glad we got out of there safely. I don't even want the credit for that.”
“Yeah, I guess…”
It didn't sit well with me how the truth was getting bent, but better than people finding out that we'd sided with the Lightbearers. That particular truth could be buried and forgotten. If it got out, knowing the Internet, we would get slapped with the villain sticker faster than I could blink.
“Oh, look, we finally got a reply from the Robin Hoot Brothers.” She showed me her phone again.
The other independent hero team that had emerged after the latest starstorm, the Robin Hoot Brothers. The contents of their message boiled down to a greeting and then an invitation to meet today in a secluded spot and discuss a potential team-up. They weren't beating around the bush, were they? It almost seemed suspicious how eager they were to meet.
“Ehh, I really didn't wanna go out today,” Flare whined as she looked out of the window into the downpour.
“Uh, yeah. Let's just tell them we're gonna be busy for a few days, and we'll meet them later.”
Today and tomorrow were out. I wasn’t about to ignore Lightshow's warning. Friday and the weekend were dubious as well, so maybe Monday? Was that why it was important for us to go out as heroes on Monday?
Flare hummed and then said, “alright, sent!”
The rest of the bus ride involved more chatting and being angry with the weather. I didn't like rain in general, but this particular rain felt even worse, like a bad omen. It just had to be on the day I planned on confessing.
I was nervous. So much so that it seemed like time was moving faster. English was over before I could blink, followed by a Math class where Jasmine made me nervous again, then chemistry, and then lunch.
“You... teamed up with them...?” asked Michelle whilst raising her eyebrow.
“Temporarily. We were kind of surrounded, you know? An enemy of my enemy is my friend,” Flare tried to explain.
“Still, if the Internet finds out you were on their side…”
“Yeah, we know. But none of the articles or threads mentioned us, so I think we're fine.” Flare shrugged.
“So will you be going out again today?” Elsie asked.
“Nah, we're gonna take a break. You know, fiery wings don’t mix well with rain.”
“Okay...” Elsie looked half sad, half relieved.
"I mean, are they really made of fire? Or do they just look like it?" Michelle pointed her fork at Flare.
“Uh... actually, that's a good question. I never thought about that.” Flare frowned.
“Pretty sure they just look like it. They don't burn things around you when you get knocked to the ground,” I pointed out. “And they didn't burn me when we got tangled yesterday.”
“Oh yeah, that's true. But maybe like... I'm unconsciously using my power on them to prevent them from burning stuff?”
“Seriously? You get these cool fire wings and you don't even play around to see what you can do with them? Imagine just swooping in and smacking villains with your wings!” Michelle slapped the air.
“Hey, I don't wanna burn people! It's fine as it is!”
“Hmm, if you say so…” Michelle rolled her eyes and put a piece of her steak into her mouth.
“Oh, by the way, the Robin Hoot Brothers contacted us back and wanted to meet today.”
“So, you're meeting your fellow independents?”
“Nope, we're on a break, remember? I already replied, saying we would meet them later.”
“I see, I see. So what do mighty heroines do on their days off?”
“Um... I dunno. I guess we don't have any plans?” Flare looked at me.
I planned on confessing to Flare, but I wasn't about to say that.
“We can just... hang out?” I suggested.
“Alright.” Flare smiled. “Oh… um, how about we go to my place this time? We hang around yours all the time.”
“Uh, sure.”
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That would mean Flare's parents would be around. Not an ideal situation to confess love to someone, but I could manage.
“Just a heads up... my parents, um, kind of already know a few things.”
Things? Like us being heroes? Or my change?
“I think they have known since the beginning. Yesterday, when I came back home, we sat down and had a little talk...”
Uh oh.
“I think it would be fair if we continued that talk with you there.”
“Um, okay…?” I glanced at her, worried.
“Don’t worry! They weren’t mad or anything! Honestly just a talk.” Flare smiled.
“Alright,” I conceded.
Not the kind of talk I’d planned on having today, but definitely necessary. Or rather, it was probably a bit irresponsible we’d kept them in the dark up till now. And there was also my dad… I would likely have to have a similar talk once he returned home.
After lunch, it was time for Starstorm Studies.
Ms. Folly talked about the various encroachment stages of hybrids, which made me think back to Eruption again. Stage four was supposedly one step away from a complete monster, since stage four hybrids couldn’t even turn off their hybrid form. But honestly, after yesterday, I didn’t believe that anymore. Compassion was human emotion. A monster wouldn’t hug me as I broke down in tears, would it?
And on the flip side, despite being stage one, whenever I turned into my hybrid form, I could be kind of ruthless. I was much more of a monster than Eruption in that sense.
So what did that mean? People said hybrids were half-human, half-monster, and when going into hybrid form, they were letting more of their monster self take over. But if I thought of the other half as less of a monster and more as another person, it made more sense. My other half was kind of ruthless while Eruption’s was more compassionate.
But then, that left the question of why? Were the stars in a starstorm souls of some other people? Where did they come from? Why were the starstorms happening periodically?
… Jeez, give it to me to always fall into a rabbit hole of existential thoughts. Questions like these have been around since the apocalypse. Thinking I could come up with an answer to them now was foolish.
The last subject of the day was Social Studies. Boring as always. Although in my persistent efforts to stay awake by thinking about random things, I remembered I still had to pick up my new ID. I’d put in that request two days ago and they said to pick it up in two days. Honestly, it felt much longer than that. So much had happened in just two days.
Once the class ended, I met up with Flare and told her about the ID. We agreed to meet at her place once I picked it up and parted ways.
The trip to the offices was pretty uneventful. Although uneventful was a positive adjective after the last few days. I rode there by bus, grabbed the new ID, and rode the bus back to Flare’s place. Honestly, looking at the photo of my new ID made me giddy. The face of someone who didn’t appreciate you looking at him was replaced by a cute girl who was happy to be alive. Such a stark contrast.
When the bus finally arrived at my destination, I made my way to Flare’s place. It was about a ten-minute walk from mine. Although since I didn’t have the keys to the main entrance, I couldn’t go up and knock on the door.
I took a deep breath before ringing the bell labeled Quinn. A few seconds later, the speaker made a noise, and then a male voice spoke out. “Hello?”
“Hello, Mr. Quinn. I’m... uh... Chris. Flare’s friend?”
“Oh, Chris! Come on up, we were waiting for you!”
The door buzzed, indicating I could now open it without keys.
“Thank you.”
I made my way inside the building and climbed the stairs to the second floor. Once again, I felt nervous. Flare probably already told them about the change, and Mr. Quinn’s voice over the speaker didn’t sound judgmental or condescending. But still, I couldn’t help it. Being nervous was my trademark, apparently.
Once I reached the second floor, Flare was already outside their door, waving at me.
“Hey.” I waved back.
“Hey, yourself. Come on in!” she urged.
I entered, took off my shoes, and placed the drenched umbrella near the entrance.
Her place was structured the same way mine was. The only difference was that the large bedroom was regularly used by people rather than being abandoned. We went straight to the kitchen slash dining room to meet her parents who were already waiting for us. Mr. Quinn sat on a chair next to the table, arms crossed, while Mrs. Quinn was standing by the stove, stirring something on top of it. She turned around as soon as we entered the room and eyed me from head to toe. My movements stiffened as she did that.
“Hello, Chris! It’s been a while! You changed so much!” The muscular man with red hair stood up and grinned at me.
“Uh, hello. Yeah… there were some changes...” I scratched the back of my head.
“You shrank down so much since the last time I saw you!” His grin widened.
Weren’t you supposed to say I grew up a lot? Although, it was true that I’d shrunk when I changed my body.
“Just joking! Flare already told us about your situation. Pretty unusual… and honestly, it might take me a bit till I get used to it, so excuse me if I slip up.”
“Uh... no... it’s fine.”
“Welcome, Chris. You’re just in time for dinner. Come on honey, sit down,” Flare’s mom called from the kitchen. I noticed Flare had already sat down while I talked with her dad.
“Um, I don’t wanna intrude...”
“Nonsense! You’re always welcome here!” The large man walked over and tapped me on my shoulder.
I expected them to chew me out for dragging their daughter into dangerous situations, but instead, they were being very kind. But that only made me more nervous about the moment when they did decide to stone me to death.
I obediently picked a chair next to Flare and sat down. The woman with braided brown hair and glasses soon emerged from the kitchen holding a pot and put it on a wooden board in the middle of the table. She quickly made another trip to the kitchen and brought a rice cooker with her.
“Curry and rice. I hope you don’t mind spicy food, Chris?” She smiled at me.
“Not at all… thank you.”
She got brought out a plate and put rice on it, before pouring the curry sauce over it and handing it to Flare. She repeated that for everyone else, and soon, we found ourselves eating. Her cooking was great, but it painfully reminded me of my own mom’s cooking… and how I would never get to taste it again.
“Mom is the best cook, isn’t she Chris?” Flare beamed at me.
I swallowed and took a second to steer my thoughts away from the dark path before answering.
“Yeah, it’s tasty. I still have a lot to learn.” I forced a smile.
“Hahaha! Are you already training to be the ideal wife?”
I stopped. Being called a wife again reminded me of a certain embarrassing event that had happened not too long ago.
“Uh… no… I just kind of like cooking?” I answered the man who was still grinning at me.
Despite them telling me I was welcome, I felt like I didn’t belong here. I’d visited Flare’s home several times in the past, but I’d never felt like this before. Was I this nervous because I was dreading the upcoming talk?
We finished our dinner and brought the dirty plates to the kitchen sink. Then everyone got seated again, and it began.
“So, full disclosure. I used to be a hero as well,” announced Flare’s dad.
That caught me off guard. Flare’s dad used to be a hero? Which one? Why used to? What made him stop? Was he a villain now? No way.
“And as a former hero, I know all too well the drive to help others, so I can’t blame you for wanting to do the same.” He shrugged. “I’m not going to stop you two either. That would only make you sneak out and throw yourselves into danger anyway. Except that we would be left in the dark.” He motioned his head toward his wife.
That was surprising. I wasn’t going to complain, although some would probably call him an irresponsible father for letting us do this.
“Instead, I’m gonna give you some advice.” He glanced at Flare. “Well, we already talked about it with Flare, so it’s more for you Chris.”
I nodded.
“The first thing to remember is that you should never do things on your own. Always have someone backing you up. If you find yourself facing some danger on your own, running away doesn’t mean you’re a coward.”
It made sense. In a lot of fiction, the hero would go on their own and usually prevail, which made them seem that much more heroic. But reality wasn’t scripted; I wasn’t guaranteed to win against every threat thrown at me because of plot armor. If you go alone and die, you aren’t a hero, but an idiot.
“Second thing to remember… you can’t always save everyone. Sometimes you might be tempted to risk your life just to maybe have a chance of saving one more person, but it’s not worth it. Remember that when you are saving that extra person, you might also be sacrificing another person… yourself.”
I took in his words. We hadn’t encountered a situation like that yet, but I was sure it would happen eventually if we kept on being heroes.
“And lastly… sometimes you will fail. No matter how much you try, you will lose. But you can’t let it get to you. You can’t endlessly brood over your mistakes. Simply learn from them and move on.” His face distorted in a frown. “This one might be the hardest one to follow.”
His wife put a hand on his back and smiled at him.
I nodded once again. We hadn’t truly failed yet. We’d beaten the Liberators, and their escape wasn’t our fault. And similarly, I felt like the entire interaction with Lightshow and the Lightbearers wasn’t exactly a loss. It was more of a conversation. You don’t win or lose a conversation. And the fight against Bystander? That was undoubtedly a win.
“And those are the wise words from an idiot who got incapacitated by the same person he tried to save.” He smiled wryly.
I wanted to ask what exactly he meant by that, but I didn’t want to dig any deeper.
“Anyways! I may be a retired hero, but I’m here to support you. If you kids ever need help, I’ll come running in a heartbeat!” His grin was back.
“Just don’t get your arm burned off again, dear.” Her wife shook her head.
That comment made him wince. And it also gave me a good idea about which hero he used to be.
“Thank you... Mr. Quinn.” I smiled at him.
With the talk being over, Flare and I made our way to her room. I got nervous all over again, thinking about my original plan for tonight. From one difficult talk to another. I just couldn’t get a break, could I?
The door clicked and I looked around her room, taking a deep breath.
“So what are we gonna do? Wanna play Arc Lords Online again?” She walked over to her desktop computer. “You can use my laptop.”
Part of me wanted to say yes and continue with my life as I always had. But I couldn’t chicken out at this point. I’d made a promise to Mom, and if I were to delay it any longer, I would keep finding excuses. It had to be now.
“Um, Flare.”
“Yeah?” She turned around to face me.
For some reason, looking in her eyes now terrified me. It hadn’t, just a few minutes ago.
“I… I need to...” I swallowed. “I need to… tell you something.”
“Uh, what is it?” She seemed to have noticed my anxiety.
“I...” Something got stuck in my throat.
I wanted to simply say ‘I love you’, but wasn’t that too cheesy? Too stupid? Would she misunderstand it? Thinking I love her as a friend? What else could I say?
“Y-yeah?” Flare prompted me to continue.
But her wide-eyed stare only made it more difficult to push the words out of my throat. I thought about her rejecting me. About the possible fallout. All of the bad thoughts assaulted me at the same moment.
“Chris…?” She seemed bewildered.
Of course, she would be. I’d said I needed to tell her something and then I’d kept quiet. She must have been thinking I was an idiot.
I felt something run down my cheek. Why… was I crying? What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I say these three words? What was holding me back?
“What’s wrong Chris...?” She took a step toward me, looking concerned.
Something inside me broke at that moment. The hesitation tore away and I screamed at the top of my lungs. “I LOVE YOU!”
The room fell into silence. Flare kept staring at me, now more confused than concerned. I also heard some shuffling sounds behind the locked door. I realized I had turned into my hybrid form to say those three words.
“Uh… what?” She took a step back.
My heart sank. She was going to reject me. Of course she would. I was a dumbass and a weirdo. I wouldn’t be surprised if she cut all ties with me from now on.
And then, for some reason, her face colored red and her eyes shifted around the room.
“Y-you… love me? As a friend? Or…?” She peeked at me.
“More than a friend,” I said, still cheating with my hybrid form.
“O-oh...”
She swallowed.
I waited, anxiety creeping back into me even through my hybrid form. She didn’t reject me right away, which should have been a good sign. But at the same time, she could have simply been thinking about a way to reject me now. Stupid dark thoughts.
“I… you know, I haven’t ever really thought about it that way...” She darted her eyes around, avoiding mine. “Even though I joked about being on a date back then...”
I tensed up, preparing for the rejection.
“But… if I think about it seriously--” Her eyes finally landed on me. “--being more than friends… sounds pretty nice… actually.”
Uh, what? She wasn’t rejecting me? I was confused.
“R-really?”
“Yeah… I mean… if it doesn’t work out, we can just go back to being friends?”
“I… okay!” My face lit up.
I had no idea how to be someone’s girlfriend, I hadn’t thought that far. But I didn’t care at the moment. For once in my life, I enjoyed the present for what it was without worrying about the future. And I dropped my hybrid form at some point, so I wasn’t even cheating to do it.
We approached each other and, with triple the usual embarrassment, we pulled each other into a hug. We hugged countless times in the past, but this one felt very different. We weren’t hugging as friends but as girlfriends!
“I… love you too, Chris,” she whispered.
It turned my legs into jelly, forced my face into a painfully wide smile, and caused me to feel a fluttery sensation in my stomach.
What an underhanded move.