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Felice and Triste. (A Bizzare Fantasy LitRPG)
Chapter 1: Your Good Old Friend Triste

Chapter 1: Your Good Old Friend Triste

Most stories begin with a character who is either noble of heart, darker than void, or a blank white slate. The character will be mostly unknown but still be relatable in some way by having flaws ranging from small to life-threatening. They will then embark on a journey that ends with them overcoming their flaws by fixing them or accepting them. 

A simple cliche story. This is one of those stories.

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Felice jolted awake from his slumber. His body was numb and his head was filled with deafening silence. An experience he will never get used to. 

The room was dim. The windows were shut closed and covered by thick curtains and the only source of light was coming from his old rectangular T.V.

He lay for a couple of seconds, just gazing at his ceiling. He imagined the stars beyond it and the infinite expanding space that contained planets filled with alien lifeforms. 

He sat up from his floor and pushed away plastic containers of food and drinks. Which was nothing out of the ordinary for him. After all, the whole room was a dumpster filled with nothing but waste.

"It's tiiiiime!" Felice yelled loudly.

He stood and kicked the trash around him, sending it flying onto his other towers of disappointment. He waltz alone around the room until he reached his only source of light. Directly on top of the T.V was a leather rope.

"I said it's time!" Felice's malnourished hands grabbed the rope. They moved frantically as he tied it into a noose. But he failed. He didn't know how to nor could he brute force the rope into being one.

But with the trusty help from his phone. He was able to tie the rope with moderate ease. He stood on the trash below him and hang the noose onto a nail in the ceiling.

His empty eyes gazed at the unexpected escape button in life. "I miss Triste."

"Wait don't do it! Carmito you have so must more to live for!" 

Felice turned his head towards the source of the noise. It was coming from his last remaining friend, the television. 

"Stupid show!" Felice pressed the button switching it to another channel.

"How spectacular that last round w~"

"The average life span of a mollusk usually ranges from 40-41years but under certain con~ "

"You have a gift my frie~"

"There will be a showing of violins on the~ "

"A message!" Felice hugged the machine with all his remaining strength. "I love messages!"

"As they fall, the baby birds are given the choice to either perish or learn how to fly. It~"

"Fall?" 

Felice walked towards a locked door. It was a barely touched door to his balcony. 

"An opportunity of a lifetime. Who doesn't want to live in a world of fantasy? All you have to do is to take a dive and enter this raffle. 

He grabbed the doorknob and turned it. He then pulled the door open which shoved trash around him.

He walked outside and felt a tinge of coldness as the sole of his feet rested on the stone floor. It was nighttime. 

"Do I want to do this..." His legs shook as he watched the ground from his 4-story balcony.

"..."

"Yes, I do! Because after all, the main character needs to be brave!"

Felice climbed onto the railings. He then fell off the railings.

"Hahaha! Any second now and a portal will appear and save me from this fall-"

*Splash* 

Felice not only left a bloody imprint on the ground his soul also left the world. 

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Felice sat at a silver metal corner. He was currently inside an elevator. The buttons were blank and there was jass music playing from the speakers on the ceiling.

The door slid open. The room seemed to be some sort of cat-themed cafe. Nobody was there besides a woman right in front of the elevator door. 

As the elevator door slowly closed, the woman grabbed the door and opened it by force. 

*Thud* 

The elevator shook as the woman stepped inside. "Why hello there, sorry for the long wait." She pressed a blank button and the elevator began to move again.

"Let's finish this quickly, shall we... Here's the deal. I am gonna send you to another world. You're gonna have fun and become more powerful using a system. Then while exploring and journeying you're gonna kill 24 idiots for me. And! If you get really strong you can maybe try 25 instead."

Felice nodded.

"I'm gonna take that as a yes!" The woman jabbed her finger into Felice's mouth. The finger wriggle inside as it tried to search for something.

"I have to say this is a little too disgusting for me. You wouldn't mind if did it the old-fashioned way rigth?"

Felice nodded again but this time with puke dripping from his mouth. 

She took out a plain metal fork and stabbed it into Felice's forehead. Felice fell to the floor dead.

"Oopsie. I think that might have been a little too old-fashioned. Well, might as well give you a bonus for that!"

*Thang* 

The elevator door slid open. The woman grabbed Felice and threw him into the fountain outside. "See you later!" The woman waved as the elevator began to float back to the sky. 

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[Welcome to Maxwell's Funbox!]

"Oww." Felice caressed his head. He was currently resting in a fountain in the middle of a city. 

Felice

Hitpoints (12/12)

Unemployed

Level = 1

Status (Dazed)

Stats

Fashion = 3

Taste = 6

Grape Treading = 2

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Chess Prowess = 0

Weirdness = 73

"I'm so confused." Two digital boxes appeared in front of him.

[Special Gift/Bonus]

New Skill

(Legendary) (Passive)

Your good old friend is back.

"Triste?"

Hello Felice. I am back.

"Triste!" I missed you so much. Life had not have been the same without you."

Get out of the fountain. You're gonna get sick.

"You're rigth!" Felice climbed out of the fountain and onto the stone road. Surrounding the fountain were houses made with wood and stone. People could be seen all around the village.

Felice open your inventory and unlock your beginner bundle.

"The sun is bright Triste. Im not used to this."

Listen to me and open your bundle.

"I want to go back home Triste. There are too many people here."

Inventory now!

"Fine, Opeeeen Sesame... Triste how do I open my inventory?"

Inventory

Mental Illness (Abundant)

Phone (Broken)

Beginner Bundle

Congrats Felice. You did it.

"Yes, I diiiiid." Felice stood proudly and wetly in the middle of the village. "Now open, beginner bundle!"

New Skill

(Rare) (Active)

Gives you information about trees.

New Skill

(Common) (Passive)

Improves window cleaning capabilities.

New Skill

(Common) (Passive)

Improves golfing capabilities.

New Item

(Legendary) (Weapon)

A one-of-a-kind stainless steel golf club.

Wow! This seems useless!

"No Triste, this is not useless. This is amazing. It's three skills and a weapon, for freeeeee!"

No Felica! Do you really think you can find a golf course in this fantasy medieval world?

"No! Of course not. But who doesn't like free things Triste?"

Okay, I guess. Anyway, I have a plan for surviving this world. First I need you to walk behind that house.

"Which one Triste? You don't have a body so I can't tell which way you're pointing."

Oh yeah... Can you spin for me?

"Can I? You mean may I"

Augh! Pick any house. It's all the same either way.

Felice marched with big steps to a house, leaving behind a trail of water. He had arrived behind a two-story stone house with a wooden roof.

Break the windows.

"Hmmm. How about no."

Felice, we need the money! Just like every single world, this one is run on capitalism. Even if it's fantasy, the hands of those pigs still ruined it with their greed.

"I don't know about robbing random houses though Triste."

Well, this is not just any random house. It's a house owned by an evil greedy criminal. This pest has stolen millions of gold and has committed countless crimes.

"Say no more." Felice grabbed a stone off the floor and slammed it into the window. The window shattered easily because it was made of candy. 

He jumped into the window and into the kitchen of the crook. "Look at all this gold laying around."

We're rich Felice! We're rich!

Felice began shoving all the gold and anything he could find onto a floating blue box in front of him. "We don't have to work ever again Triste. We struck gold!"

"Addison is that you?" A voice came from the next room over.

Felice run. It's the crook.

"The window is back. What?" Felice punched the now repaired window with all his might. 

*Thing*

You're pathetically weak.

The door opened and an old woman entered the kitchen.

"Triste are you sure this woman is a crook?"

Of course Felice, old people are known for being good at stealing, I mean have you seen politicians? Also even if their old it doesn't mean they are forgiven for all the heinous acts they did back then.

"Addison? Please answer. You know I can't see you because Im blind."

"Triste?"

What! Blind people are more likely to commit crimes. Because of their lack of vision, they also lose their moral compass and turn to the ways of crime.

"Did you say dish? Oh, that brings back the memories of when I donated my money to orphans and kids in need. Whenever I cooked food for them, they always ask what the dish was."

"Triste!"

Okay. This doesn't mean she isn't a hardcore evil villain, it just means that she's somebody like Robinhood. I mean look at all this money laying around in the kitchen. Do you really expect a random grandma living in some village to earn this all legally? Also if you're robbing other people expect to get robbed yourself

"Would you like some of my freshly baked pie? It's the only way I can repay your kindness, Addison. I am just so thankful for all the money you have given me for my cancer operation."

"Triste..."

Hug the grandma, Felice. Let's hug the grandma and apologize together. 

"Yes, it's me, grandma!" Felice went in closer, opening his arms up for a hug. But the grandma didn't accept the hug instead she pulled out a Thompson-1928 and aimed it at him.

"Even if I'm old you won't fool me, intruder! There was never an Addison. Now leave me alone and my gold and say hello to my husband for me!"

Felice ducked as the gun unleashed bullets onto the wall behind him. "Why does she have a gun?"

Felice, take out your golf club and hit her.

"Where are you? You little rat!" The grandma fired holes into her stone kitchen trying to hit the unseeable Felice. 

Use her blindness to your advantage and knock her out.

"Open Inventory and take out golf club." A stainless steel club appeared on his right hand. 

"Found you!" She fired her gun at the sound of Felice's voice. Felice sluggishly jumped to the right to avoid the bullets. The bullets grazed his left arm and struck the oven behind him.

"Was that my oven! How dare you make me destroy my precious little ov~"

*Whack*

With a swift strike to the head, the grandma fell to the ground unconscious. Felice breathed heavenly as he stood over the old woman. "Why? Did she have? A gun?"

It was a magic gun. Take it and leave Felice. 

*Beep Beep Beep*

"Do you hear that Triste? It sounds like a bomb."

Run Felice run. This house is about to explode.

"Eh! What about the gun?"

Fool, the gun is the bomb!

Felice ran with all his remaining strength left. He swung open the kitchen door and jumped over ugly fur-covered furniture in the living room. With seconds remaining, the only thing that stood between him and the door was a fat orange cat with two tails.

Punt the cat, Felice. Punt it with the might of a billion suns.

"What! No." Using the very small amount of common sense he had, he ignored the cat and opened the door.

"Freeeeeeeedom! Felice closed the door behind him and basked in the warm fresh air. 

Would you look at that Felice? I was correct on her being a criminal.

"I guess you we~"

*KABOOM*

The house exploded sending Felice flying into the water fountain in the middle of the village.

Felice? Are you there? Hello... 

Level Up x 6

Hitpoints are restored and 12 ability points are rewarded. 

New Skill

(Uncommon) (Passive)

1% increase damage against old people.

Felice

Hitpoints (30/30)

Unemployed

Level = 7

Status (Unconscious)

Stats

Ability Points = 12

Fashion = 3

Taste = 6

Grape Treading = 2

Chess Prowess = 0

Weirdness = 73

Skills

Passives

(MAX)

(Level 1)

(Level 1)

(Level 1)

Actives

(Level 1)

Inventory

Mental Illness (Abundant)

Phone (Broken)

Golf Club

172 gold coins (Stolen)

Spatula (Stolen)

Rolling Pin (Stolen)

Dentures (Stolen)

Dignity (Gone)

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