The Rabbit and the Wolf

I love people like how the wolf loves the rabbit

Look how fun and thrilling their game of tag is.

Look how when the Wolf catches up to the Rabbit it shrieks in joy.

Look how perfect the Wolf’s lips fit so perfectly in the Rabbits neck.

Look how the wonderful shade of red the Rabbit blushes when the Wolf kisses it.

Look how the Rabbit nestles inside the Wolf’s stomach, reaching for its warmth.

Am I the Rabbit or the Wolf?

Chasing after love or avoiding it in fear?

Who am I to understand and admire their love?

Maybe I’m nothing but the snow or the grass being crunched underneath their paws

nothing more than a sound that blends into the background.

Interlude: Loving in pain

Why do I give my love to those who pain me?

I give my everything. I give you my all. I give and I give, and you take and you take. Whenever I’m with you it feels as if I was the only one you give second priority to. I may be yours in whole, but are you ever mine?

My head starts to spin whenever I think of you, and my heart feels bitter and the words weigh heavy on my tongue. My nose flares so slightly and my eyes start to tear.

Whenever I see you, I always say hi first. It’s never you. I’m the one that’s a forced presence in your life. You do not yearn for me the same way I pray for you.

Are you the rabbit I chase in my dreams? Are you scared I’ll hurt you? Look, look at my teeth. I’ll bare them for you, and you can defang me all you want.

Leave me only with the rotting and aching gums in my mouth. You always leave me defenseless.

I’ve never been in love with a silhouette, but the way you’re not always here makes me love a version of you in my memories. In my head you were a sweet person, colliding your warmth in mine. Our arms become entangled in another as you I slept in your embrace.

I felt so pretty.

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

But, those are memories. Love and pain has become the same word for me. It feels as if I’m gripping flowers I’ve received, and in my delusion I can’t notice the thorns digging into my skin.

You made me feel so pretty.

But I’m not pretty.

Memory 3, Loving her in vain

Why is it so hard to be in love?

Why does she cast me in her side view, when she’s all that I am? She lives inside my heart, her nails scratching at the walls of the emotion of love. She begs to be let out. But, I can’t let her go yet. She is my everything.

She’s-

She’s not even mine. I’m hers in whole, but will I ever have her full love? Will my love ever reach her?

My heart loves her to the moon and back, but she’s as unreachable as the sky. I can only feel her voice, I can’t even hear it.

She’s beautiful.

She reminds me of the clouds, the soft glow in the sun. She says she loves me, and I feel as if I won. But, she never tells me, you’re beautiful. At this point in my life the four corners in my room know her name better than my own. I don’t want her to be a phase in my life, I’ve given my all to her.

Everyday I hang on to the hope she’ll all of a sudden talk about me the same way she talked about her past loves.

Everyday I wish to become one of her fondest memories. But now, I just want her to remember me.

My love for her isn't sanctioned by the Lord above me. She knows that.

Would she love me differently if I were a man?

Does it matter if she and I bear the same body? Is it wrong for me to yearn for love that she declares isn’t right?

But she loves me, she says. But these words have been repeated so many times, it's almost akin to the constant chatter in the street. When were the words I chased for 7 months become the ones I most loathed?

I can’t tell. I find myself waking up in bed, looking at the ceiling, wondering if this all would have been different if I didn’t love her.

Why did I have to be in the jaws of a beast whose bite felt so gentle?

I love her with all my being, but I’ve never felt pretty with her.