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Entry 4.2 - Kinship: A Mutual Exercise

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“Well, you folks better hope that I made this right, or we’re all on the can tonight,” Sal quipped, emptying the contents of the pan for the final plate.

“I honestly don’t get how you’ve raised her…” Calypso shook her head, looking at her Aunt then Uncle respectively. “Must’ve been impossible…”

Aunt Artemis always wore some form of plaid, this time it was blue on black, a buttoned-up shirt with rolled up sleeves. Her dirty blonde hair was tied up into a bun despite the few strands hanging, adding character to her youthful yet worn face as she smirked a bit.

“Where’d ya’ think she got it from?” Artemis leaned in, softly patting the table.

Uncle Bradley leaned over to Calypso, closing his newspaper slightly. “They gang up on me, Cal. Them and the animals—I’m glad you’re livin’ here because you can save me.”

Calypso laughed, because the image of that was so ridiculous. Uncle Bradley was a strapping man, wearing overalls and a white dress shirt with short sleeves, showcasing his tattooed, broad arms. His face was angled but warm, he wore an afro evening everything out.

Sal settled at her chair, taking off her beat up baseball cap and rising it near her. She was a mix of her parents, having a natural tan complexion with darker blonde hair. The smirk of her mother, and the casual air of her father—and yet her own sassy take on both.

“Also, are we gonna ignore the fact that we just heard Cal laugh?” Sal quipped, gesturing at her younger cousin. “Like, it’s gonna freakin’ snow, ‘cuz Hell’s frozen solid—”

“I’ll have you know that in Dante’s Inferno, there’s already a level of Hell that’s frozen…” Calypso pouted.

“Yeah, thank god he recorded his scientific findings—otherwise we’d be lost today,” Sal smirked.

Calypso turned to Artemis, “Am I allowed to flip her off, at least Auntie--?”

Artemis shook her head lightly and slowly. Bradley patted Calypso’s shoulder as her eyes narrowed at Sal, who only fluttered her stupid perfect eyelashes at her.

Calypso looked at her plate, a literal breakfast platter of meats, pancakes and eggs. It was hard for her to rip her eyes away, looking up at her family.

“Well, it was lovely talking, but I’ve met my three-sentence quota for today…”

The girl rose up, grabbing her plate and walking towards the stairwell.

“Caaaaaaal,” Sal whined. “You said at week, like, nine, that you’d be eatin’ with us normally!”

“Nah, I said I’d think about doing it,” Calypso smiled lackadaisically at her. It was the only smile she liked wearing, no effort but nevertheless cheeky. “Besides. Would you all like seeing me pop open my happy pills and downing them for the first few minutes in silence anyways?”

Sal pouted and slumped in her chair. “Fair, whatever makes ya’ comfy…”

Cal resumed going to the stairs, climbing them in a hurry before going to her room.

She rested her plate on her bed, darting to her semi-hidden mini fridge that rested in the corner.

Opening it, multiple Tupperware bowls held the remains of the Jaw Monster. She took two, closing the door as she hummed to herself.

I’m running out of time… I need to find a proper Subsumed or else these methods will cease their potency… I’ve already ran out of Witchery Root, and have to spend tonight searching for that alone… When Mrs. Moses said it was hard to maintain this life, I thought it was just a bitter adult thing.

Placing the meat alongside her bacon and sausage, she licked at her darkened fingers and couldn’t help to whimper.

She didn’t even bother with the fork and knife, Calypso shoved the meal into her mouth, shuddering at how both sides of her were being fed after holding off for so long.

I can feel it… Usually I can “control” it, feel the incoming change. A feeling of a deep dive within the self, before elevating, giving that beautiful rush… But now? It’s almost like before any of this settled into place. Something gnawing at me from the inside. While that was literal since the monster tried to make me Subsumed—this… This is just me not caring. About me trying to ‘balance’ anything. Destroy this pathetic life, run away into the wild, and just live my life as… A halfling witch, I guess. Kill anything standing in the way of that. To which, doesn’t sound awful…

Ripping her head away from just burying her face into the plate wholesale, she grabbed her mug with a layer of napkins at the hilt. She wavered at the bubbling, dark green brew, closing her eyes and knocking her head back to just ingest it all in one gulp. Just to get it over with.

She had to fight with her own throat, waving her arms in distress as she comically teared up. It was seconds, what felt like months, after her throat gave up and she swallowed the brew. Leaving the burning, herbal tracks behind.

The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

Yeah, I need to track down the wannabe humans. This is the human side of me just hating the fact that I burn out my insides every day. I will comb the fucking streets day and night if I have to…

***

Calypso wondered, as she gazed out the window, if what she was feeling now was like how psychopaths felt. If so, she understood why they often snap.

She scratched at her cheek, so she can shake the need to dig into flesh. Clutched her teeth together, to stop her annoyance from overflowing. And finally, retreating into her mind to not focus on people.

Her teacher, her classmates. Any human that was in radius, it has hard not just leaving them. Harder not to turn and leave nothing behind but the remains.

Stifling a sigh, Calypso was a tad forlorn. She was getting so used to it, her two sides were in-sync, as things should be. Her fighting against herself was not only tiring, thus lowering her walls further, but was too much of a devolution. It only reminded her that she was doing such a piss poor job of this. Reminding her that no matter what she does, she’s weak.

Back to being who she was.

“Ms. Calypso Grimes?”

She slowly turned to her teacher—who she couldn’t bother to learn the name of. Eyeing her with a distant look.

“Since you’re so informed with philosophy clearly, tell us about the difference between nihilism and existentialism.”

Calypso continued to stare at the professor, as she leaned against the front of her desk with her arms crossed. She felt the gaze of everyone in the class within seconds.

A common tactic to weed out and make an example out of someone. Fine.

"Well, it’s rather frustrating,” Calypso began. “Nihilism often gets a negative reputation, really. All because of the Nazi-loving sister altering the author’s original texts. What we often picture what nihilists are is warped and ruined by yet another thing by Nazi Germany, if not indirectly. But to actually answer your question, nihilism is the acceptance of the meaningless of existence. Existentialism is about man wanting to triumph over the absurd meaninglessness of the universe, thus giving it meaning. Am I right, professor?”

She listened to the murmurs she pretended to not be aware of, staring directly at her teacher. “Of course she knew that”, “How the fuck does anyone remember that?”, “That was kinda hot…”

“Well,” the professor was clearly flustered. “Good that you know. Let’s carry on…”

Calypso wanted to flash her smile, but that was victory enough. Glancing out the window again. If anything, at least she can fill nourished by reliving this moment over and over again until class was over.

Which she did. Her smile growing more and more wide every replay.

Gathering her book and notes on her desk, Calypso calmly rose from her seat.

Only to be met with wild blonde hair, beaming green eyes, clothes so coordinated and fashion conscious that overloaded Calypso's own eyes, and a smirk that reeked of confidence and ego.

"'Grime', was it? Wait, no--don't help me, I gotta get it--Greens, Gives--GRIMES! Right, yeah, Grimes~?"

Calypso stretched a smile on her face that was fighting her. "Uh... C-calypso Grimes, yes."

"Badass, girl," the loud ego with exposed legs complimented, cocking her head towards one of the legion of girls that were behind her. "See Carmela--that was no where near your boring ass name--they're not gonna confuse you two--And can I say, speaking back to you Grimes, as a friendly stranger? Don't go into the office job. That shit needs to be like, on TV or something, bold letters every time you come on~"

"Y-yeah, sorry, Hanna..." Carmela (or Calypso assumed) meeked out, finally giving her a name to this force of why-humans-are-the-worst.

Calypso had to force her throat to create laughter, adjusting such for it to be soft and curt. She had to keep her smile plastered, working the already weak muscles to exhaustion. The monster girl had five more seconds of social energy in her, and she knew that this was going to be another minute.

"I-I, well," Calypso searched in her brain, for the words she needed right now, as it exploded in rage and stress. "Who knows what they want to do after college? Especially at this stage--?"

"Oh man, I'm like, working on that shit even while we chat it up here~" Hanna flashed her smug grin. "You better hop to it girl, the world doesn't wait and it only gets faster! If you don't wanna be a loser or some invalid--world's words not mine!--figure it out and quick~!"

Calypso's lips involuntarily perused for a moment, because she nearly growled at this girl. She had to hide her hands because her claws were digging into her palms, she felt liquid trail down them. It took everything to keep still, keep quiet.

Alice was the talker, Calypso never said anything but at her. And even then, despite Alice being naturally extroverted--these humans tired her out after she was done, bemoaning about them with her.

But it wasn't just about talking. It was the act, the tightrope. With every conversation, Calypso was reminded of what she naturally lacked, how keeping these appearances made her feel so alien. How every moment she made created the instant feedback that she was fundamentally wrong, with exhaustion that taunted her about even trying.

"Anyways! That was awesome, you fucking over that teacher--need more smarties to help us out with tutoring and junk. You game or~?"

"I'll uh--" Calypso was about to wave her hand, before remembering that it's covered in her own blood, before stiffening. "I'll... Well, I'm still getting used to being here and uhm, I don't want to decline so readily but--"

"Say no more!" Hanna waved her own hand. "I'll give you the time you need~ In fact, hey, if you're going to the Fall Formal in town--maybe we can chat it up there~?"

Calypso closed her eyes, her smile trembling before righting itself upwards. "Sounds like a plan~"

"Alright~!" Hanna's voice rang out. "Let's go, girls~"

Calypso waited until the last possible foot fall ceased. Before immediately opening her eyes, huffing through her nose, forcing the rest of her things into her pack--grateful for her advanced healing but uncaring about her blood staining her materials.

She did not want to see another human for 12 hours, around a 24 meter radius, ever again in that moment.

“Uh… Calypso, was it~? Such a cute name!”

Calypso blinked in confusion, as she looked towards this person. She had jet-black, straightened hair that hit her shoulders, which were bare due to wearing a tie-die tube top. Washed out jeans that ended with bell bottoms with a gaudy belt buckle.

But it wasn’t the thing that gave Calypso pause.

It was her necklace, which clearly had wispy ghosts swimming under the smooth surface.

“Gale Pratchett—I uh, think this is the only class we share… Yeah uh, like…” the girl rubbed the back of her neck. “Kinda wanna make sure. But are you like me? Y’know… The same…?”

Calypso was just overwhelmed. She couldn’t wrap her head around it, and how random it all was.

“…The universe is meaningless and absurd,” Calypso answered.

“I mean, even I can tell ya’ that, man~” the weird girl laughed, still rubbing the back of her neck.

Calypso tried to review her options. Looking this woman up and down, around her, behind her. If this was a joke, a trap, a twist.

“…Why not we… Discuss this over some tea… I know a place…” Calypso tried to find her words, verbally scrambling for something, anything. “Are you willing to come with me?”

“Sure!”

***