There’s literally no way for me to find out anything about my family.

Miss Lilly has every news channel blocked.  I go through the television stations multiple times and find nothing.  We receive no newspapers and I have no access to the internet.  Ava, however, has a cell phone and a laptop.  She does her work on it, usually in her room or on the couch on the first floor, with Keol lying stretched across it nearby.  I bet she knows what’s going on, she tells Keol some things, but Abigala is decidedly not part of that information.  I wonder if she even knows about my sister.  I think Bayan does, though, she has to.  And she picked me out of the shelter.

I hope the boys from the shelter that she didn’t pick really did go to another home. I hope they’re safe. I hope that the others, the older boys who ran as soon as we realized what was happening, I hope they found somewhere like my parents’. I knew those men, those boys. We were friends. They trusted me, more than they trusted Abigala or my mother at first. Me and my father had to work with them, convince them that we were safe, that they weren’t going to be hurt anymore.

I don’t think I could live with myself if I lied to them.

A week passes and I don’t do much except wish I knew more. There’s nothing to do. One night I wake up when the clock on my bedside says two in the morning, and I lie on my back for a while, staring at the ceiling, but I can’t fall back asleep. So I get up and I wander around the house for a while, enjoying the darkness, the quiet, the solitude. I check the doors while no one else is around. The front door is locked, I can’t even turn the handle. I have a mind to go to the back of the house and look at the doors that lead to the backyard. Keol can go in and out as he pleases, so they must be unlocked. But when I make my way towards the back of the living room, I hear voices.

My stomach drops and I feel numb for a split second; then I realize it isn’t Miss Lilly. It’s Bayan. He’s in the back living room, the one with the sliding glass doors that open out to the porch and down the backyard. I’m in the kitchen, and I go through the dining room to listen. I can see moonlight shining on the hardwood floor, and Bayan’s shadow blocks some of it. He seems to be sitting on the ground, speaking softly to someone out on the porch. I hear a low voice say, “Turn it off and scale it.”

Bayan smiles slightly. “She checks to make sure that it’s on every day. If I left she’d know.”

“He misses you, Bayan. And he misses Ava.”

“I’m sure he does,” he answers. “But she still doesn’t know.”

“Why haven’t you told her?”

Bayan hesitates, leaning back on his hands. After a moment he sighs, and says, “She’ll be mad. She’ll be so mad.”

“You and Penny both speak so highly of her,” says the other person, and I furrow my eyebrows. Penny? “What are you afraid she’s gonna do?”

“Not Ava,” says Bayan quietly. “Miss Lilly. If Ava does anything to her mother, even just yell at her, she’ll take it out on the boys. I can’t let Ava even risk that.”

“I think you should let her make that decision.”

“I can’t,” says Bayan. “He agrees with me, too.”

Who is he?

“He misses you,” says the other person, and Bayan exhales slowly. “I miss him, too. Tell him that. You need to get back.”

The other person sighs, and then says quietly, “I’ll tell him.”

“I’ll give you two minutes, Sloan,” says Bayan softly. “Please go now.”

“Alright,” the person answers, and then Bayan pulls himself to his feet.

I move away from the doorway and go back through the kitchen, sneaking back up the stairs before he comes through too. I sit on the top one, and after a moment Bayan comes into the foyer. I watch him fold up a piece of paper and stick it in his pocket, and then open a cabinet. There’s a button inside, and he glances over his shoulder towards the back porch again, and sighs.

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I go back to bed.

I have no idea who Sloan is, or who they were talking about. Someone named Penny who misses Bayan, and Ava. What is he hiding from her? Who is he hiding from her? Does Miss Lilly know?

Probably not. This secret probably just belongs to Bayan. He’s smarter than he lets on.

I actually wake up in time for breakfast, and am there when Bayan gives me my tray. I thank him, and eat my eggs before they go cold. Then I go downstairs, wondering if I should mention what happened last night to him. I don’t think anyone else knows; if Ava doesn’t know about it, then Nua and Keol definitely don’t. Just me and Bayan, who doesn’t know that I know he has secret midnight visitors bringing him messages from someone who misses him.

After lunch, late in the afternoon, I wander down to the first floor living room once again. The other two are in the backyard, and Ava sits on the porch, watching them as if they’re in a zoo. Keol is lying flat on his back on the stone surrounding the fountain, and Nua approaches her as she waves me out. He grins at me, then says, “Can I go inside?”

She nods, then gestures for me to sit across from her once he closes the door behind him. Unsurprisingly a cigarette is lit between her fingers, and she offers me a piece of orange from the bowl of fruit next to her. I take it.

She stands, leaning against the railing, and tilts her head at Keol. He ignores her. He has his arm across his eyes, bent at the elbow, and she sighs, smoke billowing out of her mouth, and then goes down to the fountain to annoy him.

He lifts his arm up and opens one eye as she approaches, and then relaxes again. I don’t know quite what to do. I don’t know if I’m allowed to go back inside. She sits next to him and starts to talk, although I can’t hear what she’s saying. I eat more fruit and watch as she angles her words so that when she exhales her smoky dragon breath hits him in the face.

Finally he sits up, annoyed, and then in a voice loud enough that I can hear it, he says, “Sing the birdie lullaby.”

I raise my eyebrows, stretching my legs and using another chair as a footrest. I didn’t know Ava sang. A slight breeze swirls around us, fluttering Ava’s skirt, and she arches an eyebrow, then crushes her cigarette on the stone next to her and sings.

“Two birdies sitting in an old palm tree

A coconut falls,

there’s room for three

Another birdie comes and settles in the tree

and there they stay

to sit and greet the day.”

It’s a child’s song, but one I’ve never heard before. Keol lies back down on the stone as she goes through the first verse but with his head the other way so his feet are next to her on the wall. She stands as she continues, walking around so her voice, higher than usual and lighter than the wind it floats on, echoes down into his ears.

“Three birdies sitting in an old palm tree

but one flies away

it has to flee.

Two birdies left in the old palm tree

and there they stay

to sit and greet the day.”

She takes a handful of water and sprinkles it over his face.

He sputters, then sits up again, and dunks his hands into the fountain himself, but she darts away from him before he can splash her. Keol grins, standing up with his hands dripping wet, and involuntarily at the sight of them, I laugh.

Ava glances over her shoulder at me, grinning, and Keol’s smile surprisingly doesn’t flicker as he looks at me. Their relationship is a strange one. They claim to hate each other, but it’s obvious that he’s the prominent, the favorite. I wonder why they act the way they do, like children around each other except when they’re alone. I understand why he’s the prominent. They click so well together, and he just looks like he should be everyone’s favorite. He’s tall and muscly and his clothes fit him perfectly, and his skin is so smooth and his hair is the perfect amount of messy and his dark eyes sparkle when the sun hits them right.

“Come here,” says Ava suddenly, looking at me, and I stand and go down the stairs. She comes to me and takes my hand, bringing me around the fountain, and sits me down on the ledge so I’m out of eyesight of the windows of the house, and then she sits on my lap and kisses me.

My eyes widen, and I pull away from her in shock. Keol is sitting right next to me, and I glance at him, but Ava just laughs. “Don’t worry about him.”

He doesn’t say anything, just wiggles his eyebrows, and Ava kisses me on the cheek, and then puts her hand on my chin and turns my face to her so that her lips are on mine again. I close my eyes, and her hands slide around my neck and her fingers curl in my hair, pulling me closer to her, and suddenly she pulls away. As soon as she does, Keol’s fingers are under my chin, turning my head towards him, and even before I can think his lips press against mine as well.

Ava is gentle; Keol is forceful. His tongue traces my lips and his mouth opens on mine, and he bites on my bottom lip before pulling away. He grins at me when I open my eyes, and then Ava leans over me and kisses him as well.

If I leaned back any more I would fall into the fountain. They’re right in front of me, their lips pressed together, and I see Keol’s mouth open on hers as well. Then he reaches across me and grabs her waist, pulling her off of my lap and onto the ground.

I have no idea what to do. Keol is lying flat on his back and Ava is sitting on his stomach. Her skirt is around her hips and I’m fairly certain she’s not wearing anything underneath. I think my face is bright red, I can feel sweat beading along my neck and my forehead, and Keol’s hands are fumbling around his waist.

I don’t actually see it happen, but I know what it sounds like now. Ava makes a noise, leaning forward so her forehead is against Keol’s, and he smiles, taking a deep breath, and says, “What about Aber?”

“What about him?” she asks, and then turns her head and looks up at me. Keol’s hands are on her waist, gently guiding her, and she says breathlessly, “You don’t have to stay.”

I can’t answer. I can’t close my mouth, either, and I can’t tear my eyes away. I hardly know what’s happening, but Keol sits up suddenly, wrapping his arms around Ava. She wraps her legs around his waist, and leans her forehead against his. I can see his rope-belt undone and flung to the side, and I feel my own breaths start to come heavy, and I don’t know what to do. I shouldn’t be watching this. I feel a flash of anger shoot up from my stomach when I see the slight smile on Keol’s lips as Ava moves with him. She’s my wife.

I stand up abruptly and leave them.