Yoshika and Yuuko watched with bemusement as Morita made his pitch to an utterly baffled Yang Qiu.

“It’s not as strange as you might think! Are you familiar with the Lady Tennin in the north?”

Yang Qiu pursed her lips.

“Yeah, she’s a—I know her.”

“Ah! Well that makes things simpler. I’m proposing a similar arrangement. You defend our people from youkai and vengeful kami while we rebuild, and in exchange we will pay you tribute.”

“What kind of tribute?”

He put a hand to his chest.

“Power, of course. As much ki as we can spare. We have no shortage of martial artists in our city, but most of our military officers were lost in the fire, and those who remain will go with our lord.”

Yang Qiu sighed.

“You realize that I’m from Qin, right? And that I’m a demon? Even if I could do what you ask—and I’m not sure I can—keeping me around isn’t going to earn you any friends.”

The mayor cast a sidelong glance at Yoshika, then scratched his head.

“Admittedly, that was part of the discussion. The elders and I are in agreement that the shogunate is on its last legs. By accepting you into our community, we hope to gain favor with the new establishment.”

“Huh. Well, at least you’re honest about it. I still think it’s stupid, though. I’m stuck in the ground like this to keep myself from tearing out your soul and eating it, and even then I’m only comfortable having this conversation because she’s here to put me in my place if I act out.”

Yang Qiu jerked her head in Yoshika’s direction. Yoshika pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed.

“What she’s saying is that she doesn’t like being nice unless she can invent excuses to deny herself the credit.”

“Wait, that’s not what I m—”

“You see, she’s spent the last year as a prison warden for her people, focusing on trying to find ways to rehabilitate them and herself. But that clashes with her identity as a dangerous, independent rogue.”

Yuuko snickered as a black blush spread across Yang Qiu’s face, and Yoshika continued.

“She wants to help you, but only if she can make it look like she has no choice. The unfortunate truth, however, is that I still need Yang Qiu in Jiaguo. Her people look up to her, and despite her best efforts, she is the one my councilors look to as proof that demons can be redeemed.”

The man looked down, dejected.

“Ah. Well, I suppose it was presumptuous of me to ask you to part with such a valuable subordinate. If only it wasn’t such a long trip, perhaps I could have convinced my people to relocate.”

Yoshika scratched her chin thoughtfully.

“Well...if you’re that set on it, I may be able to arrange something. Not until after the war, though—my power is already strained well beyond its limits.”

“Is...that something you should be telling me?”

“No, but are you going to tell anybody?”

He paled a bit and shook his head vehemently.

“No! Of course not, my lady. I would never betray your confidence.”

“Then it’s fine. I can bring your people back to Jiaguo after the war if that’s what they want.”

“I will have to discuss it with the elders, but I believe we would like that. Truth be told, there are worries that the land here will be barren after that battle anyway.”

Yang Qiu grimaced.

“Hold on! Don’t I get a say in this?!”

Yoshika crossed her arms and glared down at her.

“Of course you do—just as soon as you grow a spine and actually choose one! What was it you told me before? Get the fuck over yourself. Go ahead and tell Mister Morita plainly and clearly whether or not you will help his people rebuild.”

Yang Qiu was taken aback by the outburst, and hesitated as she glanced back and forth between Morita and Yoshika.

“I—well...I mean, I guess if you’re offering to pay...”

“I said plainly and clearly, Yang Qiu.”

She blushed dark black, staring down at the dirt under her chin as she muttered her response.

“I’ll do it.”

“To his face.”

Yang Qiu shot Yoshika an angry glare, then met Mayor Morita’s gaze and clenched her teeth.

“If your people move to Jiaguo, I’ll be your guardian as long as you can pay the price.”

Yoshika clapped her hands together and smiled brightly.

“There! That wasn’t so difficult, was it? Now then, come with me Mister Morita, you and I are going to need to have a chat with Lord Kasuga.”

Yuuko covered her mouth in a vain attempt to hide her smile as Yoshika led the mayor out of the tent. Yang Qiu glared at her.

“What’s so funny?”

Yuuko burst out laughing, taking a moment to compose herself while Yang Qiu’s blush darkened.

“Oh, come on—you know how good she is at seeing through people. I’ve been on the wrong end of that enough times myself to know that you were asking for it.”

“Shut up...”

----------------------------------------

Exhausted as she was, Yoshika took her time flying back to rendezvous with Lady Ashikaga and the others. It was a little awkward carrying Morita the entire way, but seeing the look of wonder on the older man’s face as they flew across Yamato’s landscape was worth it.

The sun had already set by the time they arrived, but Yoshika didn’t waste any time in debriefing Ashikaga and Kasuga about what had happened, and Morita’s proposal for his city’s refugees.

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Lord Kasuga didn’t take much convincing. If anything, he was almost relieved that the refugees wouldn’t be his responsibility. With the arrangements made, Yoshika agreed to return Morita to the refugee camp in the morning and retired to her own tent for a night of much-needed meditation.

She’d barely started before Ashikaga interrupted her.

“Pardon the intrusion, my lady, but do you have a minute?”

Yoshika sighed.

“Of course. What do you need?”

“Me? Nothing. But you have the look of a soldier after their first day on the front lines. Are you alright?”

“I’m—”

She hesitated, then shook her head.

“Not really. It’s not the first time I’ve looked death in the eyes, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. I feel like I should be fine after all this time, but I’m really not.”

Ashikaga snorted, sauntering over to flop down next to Yoshika without invitation. She untied a gourd from her belt and took a long pull from it before offering it to Yoshika.

“You’ve done a lot of living for someone so young, but you really are still a sheltered little girl inside. Or girls, I suppose.”

Yoshika took a tentative sniff of the gourd. The intense alcoholic fumes tickled her nose, and when she took a small swig the liquid burned all the way down. It was nothing like the expensive soju she’d shared before—a raw, bitter taste that lingered on the tongue like the burning in her stomach.

“Ugh, that is absolutely disgusting.”

Ashikaga chuckled and took the gourd back, taking another swig herself.

“Ah, isn’t it? Grows on you like a mold, though.”

Yoshika watched as she took another sip.

“What do you mean when you say I’m sheltered? There are four of us in here, and while one essentially didn’t have a childhood at all, the rest of us have pretty diverse upbringings. Jia grew up on the streets of Goryeo, and Eui spent a year as a bandit. We’re no strangers to death.”

Ashikaga sighed, passing the gourd back to Yoshika. She stared down at it for a moment, then took another reluctant sip while the older woman responded.

“Like I said, you’ve done a lot of living, even without considering the fact that you’re four in one—though I could swear I’ve only seen three, plus this weird fused together look.”

“Meili doesn’t like to involve herself in political affairs.”

“Alright. Well anyway, it’s a matter of experience. You’ve killed, you’ve almost died—or actually died? You never did explain that one.”

Yoshika took another drink of the awful swill and passed the gourd.

“Jia was stabbed in the heart by a flaming spear, Eui’s guts were turned to mush by an explosive spell, and Kaede’s heart was shredded by a demonic spell. All that before the demon lord struck us with an attack that annihilated all but a tiny shred of our soul, forcing us to reincarnate from the remnants we left behind in our friends and family.”

Ashikaga stared at her for a long moment, then took a long pull from her gourd.

“Well, shit! That’s a lot to unpack, but it doesn’t change my point. You’ve gone through all that, and it hasn’t gotten any easier. The secret you can only get from experience is that it never will.”

Yoshika furrowed her brows.

“I know that’s not true. I cried the first time I killed someone—all three times! Now I’m numb to it. I try to be merciful, but I won’t hesitate to kill if I need to. I don’t want to die—and the memory of it is painful beyond anything I have words for, but I don’t fear it either.”

“Mhm, sure. You’re battle-hardened, no question. But that’s all in the moment, isn’t it? When faced with your enemy, you won’t hesitate to act. When choosing a course, you don’t let yourself fear the consequences, lest you hesitate.”

She thought about the battle with Yu Meiren, when she’d moved to save Melati and Ruiling. It hadn’t been a conscious decision—she knew that no matter which she chose, they would both die, so she chose both. Acted without thinking to give each of them the best chance she could.

Ashikaga handed her the gourd and she gladly took another swig.

“I can see that you know what I’m talking about. But that was then, and this is now. Now, you’re struck with the horror of it. How close things came, how much blood is on your hands. All the little things you could have done differently, either for better or worse.”

Yoshika nodded and took another drink before passing the gourd back.

“What am I supposed to do?”

Ashikaga grinned and drained what was left in the gourd.

“Nothing! It’s okay to be afraid, to have regrets and worries. It should be hard—war is no trifle. It’s when you stop worrying about the people you’ve harmed or been harmed by, when you ignore—or worse, crave—the bloodshed that you have a problem. That’s where you get monsters like that Yu Meiren and her master.”

Yoshika drew her knees up to her chest and clenched her teeth bitterly.

“Or my father.”

Ashikaga grimaced.

“Well...yeah. But uh...you have other parents, right? I hope? I’m going to feel really stupid if you don’t.”

Yoshika chuckled.

“Jia never knew her birth parents, but Eui’s are alive and well and we have an adopted big sister who’s like a mother to us. We’re quite close with all of them, actually.”

“Whew! Then just take solace in that. One monster in your family doesn’t discredit the rest of them, does it?”

“It doesn’t really work like that. Jia’s love for our sister, Eui’s love for our parents, and Kaede’s loneliness all coexist within me. I spent my entire life trying to prove myself—thinking that if I could show that I was worthy of it, maybe my father would finally love me. At the same time, my father was my rock and my inspiration growing up—a man who supported me even after I nearly lost everything he’d built.

“Those two lives both exist within me. They don’t cancel out. Neither one resolves the other—they just are. It’s part of being me.”

Ashikaga scratched her head.

“Huh. Alright, then I’ll pretend I’m just talking to Hayakawa Kaede right now. Truth be told, I’m surprised you haven’t been doing that cute shapeshifting thing of yours.”

Yoshika blinked. Come to think of it, she had been sticking to her spirit form for quite a while. The changes were usually reflexive, and she wasn’t sure what to make of the fact that she’d stopped.

“So am I, but that’s an issue for later. You were saying?”

“Right. Your father is a monster—probably always has been. But I feel like you should know better than most that your blood is not the only family you have. Not just Lee Jia’s sister or An Eui’s parents—all those people who came together to bring you back to life are your family, aren’t they?”

“Of course. They’re the whole reason I’m doing all of this. I’ll do anything to protect them.”

Ashikaga nodded.

“Exactly. You don’t need anything from the worthless lout that sired you—your real family are the ones you’re fighting to protect. From him. It will be hard afterwards—it always will be. But in the moment, when the time comes—don’t hesitate to cut that bastard down.”

Yoshika clenched her fist.

“I won’t.”

“Good!”

Lady Ashikaga stood and stretched.

“Well, I won’t keep you any longer. I’m sure you’re tired after such a long day.”

Yoshika looked up at her and pursed her lips.

“Lady Ashikaga...”

“You can just call me Sae.”

Taken aback by the offer, Yoshika wasn’t sure how to feel about the confident grin the older woman wore. It reminded her of the way Rika looked at her partners.

“Lady Sae, why did you choose to follow my father? The way you speak of him, it feels like you’re as eager as anyone to see his reign end.”

Ashikaga was disappointed by the honorific, but took it in stride.

“I only ended up as his top general because by the time I’d learned the lessons I gave you today, it was too late for me. I’m already a monster just like him—indifferent to all the bloodshed, even craving it. I always thought it would give me an edge over Ienaga Yumi, but now here I am bowing to her apprentices.”

“I don’t think you’d have come here to drink with me if that was true. You do care—and it’s never too late to change.”

Sae smirked and shrugged.

“Maybe. But right now? I’m just a weapon—a tool of war that goes where she’s pointed. I just happen to like the direction you're pointing a little better, for now.”

“I think you and Master Yumi might have more in common than you think.”

She laughed and turned to leave, calling back over her shoulder as she went.

“I’ll let that go since I know you didn’t mean anything by it, but whatever you do, never tell her you said that. Your master and I don’t exactly get along.”

Yoshika shrugged. That had been over a hundred years ago and it was hard to imagine Ienaga Yumi holding a petty grudge over such an old rivalry.

“I’ll bear that in mind. Goodnight, Lady Sae.”

“Goodnight, Lady Yoshika.”