Holly

Once I hear the door shut to the apartment, I can only stand there wondering where the shift in my mental focus has gone. He’s already attached and I’m seriously struggling.

Mate bonds always happen pretty much upon meeting if you are of age, so why didn’t ours?

I can’t even function. But I think he’s right. I’m afraid of ending up like our parents.

Our parents got together after losing their mates, who were not their fated. They each had a chosen mate because wolves are struggling to find their fated matches. I get they consoled each other and thought it would be great. In a way, Rex and I consoled each other, or we did until they became mated. After that happened, it became awkward.

Since then, I haven’t been around him much. Then our parents split after about five years and our distance grew. After that, I spent even more time away working, even though he is still my alpha.

I just find it odd that our wolves decide now to yank our chains and pull us together when they never showed any signs of being mates before. Then again, we haven’t been around each other much and maybe that is why.

A low growl rumbles in my chest, causing me to reach up and rub the palm of my hand across. She is fussing within and begging me to shift. If she can get out, then she’ll go after him and tell him I’m sorry for how I acted.

I can’t find the nerve to let her out to face him, though. Not when I know what she will do. It’s going to be hard seeing him next week, if he is even there.

He probably won’t ever forgive me after how I’ve acted and sent him away. I may not even see him again.

A tear rolls down my cheek as I think about my choices. I could have told him I was afraid or said many other things, but instead, I chose to run.

My phone dings in the other room and I quickly open my bedroom door to find my purse still sitting on the table near the door. Once I’ve fished the phone out, I look down, only to find one of my friends texting me.

Darla is asking for me to call her, so I do so quickly.

It isn’t two rings before she picks up.

“Hey.”

She laughs. “So there is a small rumor floating through the pack bonds that you and the alpha are a fated match.”

I panic as I hear those words. “Where did you hear that?”

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Darla sighs on the other end of the line. “Well, one of his betas heard his thoughts about you two being together and it spread like wildfire. We may not be as close as we used to, but gossip spreads, honey.”

“He was one of the matches from the matchmaker. My wolf wants him, but I’m afraid.”

Darla is quiet for a few moments, which is odd for her, but then she comes back laughing. “You signed up with the matchmaker? I can’t believe you. But it is also shocking that he was a match. It also means he was there looking for one, too. He is perfect for you and always has been, though. You’ve known him for years, so what is holding you back? Go claim that man.”

“But -” my words trail off.

What am I going to say? I’m afraid because of what happened between our parents all those years ago.

They aren’t us, and we aren’t them. Our relationship will be different and unique to us, but I’m just having trouble getting over the hump.

“You are not your parents, Holly.”

And there are the words I needed to hear, but dread it.

“I don’t know what I’m doing. He’s gone now, though, and I think I ruined it all. Now, I’m standing in my living room and still feel his kiss against my lips. I hurt him because I basically shoved him out of my apartment.”

She sucks in a sharp breath. “I’m close by. Do you want me to come over? Oh my gosh, what is he doing sitting on your steps?”

I freeze as I hear her words. “Who are you talking about?”

Darla laughs as I hear her footsteps stop. “You won’t believe this, but Rex is sitting outside of your apartment complex on the steps. Looks like he’s hunched over and oh, he just looked up. He looks like he’s been crying or fighting his wolf back. I’ll talk to you in a minute.”

She hangs up, so I pull the phone away from my ear and stare at it. I move toward the kitchen to stare out the windows, only to find him exactly where she said.

I can tell by the trembling he is fighting with all he has to not let his wolf out.

Darla walks up to him, but keeps her distance. He seems to listen and eventually leaves. But he shoots one last look up at my window before doing so.

It hurts, but I know he needs to walk away for now.

I watch until he disappears from view, and Darla opens the door to come inside.

“He has agreed to go home for now,” she states. “He’s not giving up though, if that is what you are hoping for. You are on watch duty until a decision is made.”

That is all it takes for me to crack. “Say what?”

Darla and I spend the next few hours talking about everything. In a way, she is a good therapist and friend. It helps me understand more about why I’m reacting this way and how I can fix it.

But I’m still irritated that he said I’m on watch until a decision is made.

As she leaves, I realize that I need to take this next week to really think everything over and then decide on the full moon run. It’s time and my wolf is definitely certain it’s him. If she can be that firm in her choice, then I have to be as well.

Darla’s words echo in the back of my mind. “You shouldn’t run from your fated match. Don’t keep him waiting after you two have been waiting this long to find each other.”

I look back toward the skillet still sitting on the stove. Both our plates are on the table, exactly where we left them. I frown as I think about wasting the leftovers, but they are past saving now.

“I don't have a single clue as to what I’m doing, but I don’t know that I can let him go.”