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The Purple Prose Princess

The Purple Prose Princess

SHE WAS NO INNOCENT.

It was well past her bed time, but Lollipop sat upright in bed, her console balanced in her lap, furiously whispering into the deck. A large smile spread across her face as she composed.

They were seated together at the most romantic restaurant in town, The Merry Dukes of Windsor. The happy couple sat outside on the balcony, overlooking the ocean as the midsummer setting sun sank into crystal blue waters.

A waiter, immaculately dressed in white and black, stood over the table and asked "How may I serve you?"

Lollipop yawned. The scene was set. Now for the good parts:

Bubble Gum looked at Phidias and spoke first. "The gentleman would like to have the roasted lamb chops smothered in cherries and green onion. Mmm, and a blueberry muffin with two dollops of butter."

Lollipop sighed, she had forgotten how lovely cherries and green onions could be.

"The lady, would like the grilled chicken and garlic salad with an eggplant and asparagus--"

Lollipop loved food, she loved writing about food. She rubbed her hands together with glee and wrote several more paragraphs describing what they ordered. She giggled, if you couldn't write about good food, what could you write about?

"Phidias, how did you know to order exactly what I wanted?"

"It was simple actually, ..."

Except it wasn't. Ugh!

Lollipop stared at the ceiling, scratching her head. This part was tough. Phidias always made it seem so easy, like he could read people's minds. Then, when he explained his logic, it seemed the most obvious thing in the world. It was, she realized, much more difficult to write than it was to listen to him.

Hmm, what would Phidias say? She chewed her lip in thought.

"It was simple actually, Bubble Gum. You are sitting on the edge of your seat. So clearly you want the chicken. It's just past the sixth hour so only a balsamic would pair with it. The eggplant was the only dish on the menu with balsamic. I know you had saffron for lunch and everyone knows asparagus aids the digestion of fibrous vegetables..."

Lollipop sighed. No, that didn't sound right. That didn't sound like Phidias at all. It sounded horrid.

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Oh posh, thought Lollipop, I'm a yarnist, not a Boy Genius. She didn't have to sound like the real thing. She erased the paragraph and began anew.

"How could I not know?" he answered without hesitation. "Your truth is forever etched in my heart, I had only to open myself to our love and all was made known."

Now that was more like it, Lollipop nodded to herself. A whole lot easier to write too.

"Bubble Gum," he said. A soft sea breeze ran through his hair and tussled his unruly bangs.

"Phidias," she said. The same breeze wrapped around Bubble Gum and stray wisps of her hair fluttered on the soft summer currents.

"Do you know what is wrong with men?" asked Phidias.

"Nothing," breathed Bubble Gum. "Do you know the problem with women?" Her voice a husky whisper for his ears alone.

"Hush, Bubble Gum," said Phidias. "Don't talk like that."

Lollipop stifled a yawn, why couldn't real life be more like this?

A magical moment shared. Their eyes met in that special place without a name. Where the purest love flares untainted. His fingers grazed the forbidden delights of her lips. Bubble Gum brushed her fingers across his cheek. One last caress before...

Her world changed forever.

Lollipop sucked in her breath. Was it getting warm in here? Her smile turned guilty but she kept writing.

Her heart raced. The thundering hooves of a stallion pounding through the surf of a windswept beach.

His heart matched hers.

Her dub answered his lub.

Together as one--lub-dub lub-dub--their joyful hearts danced to the sweet harmonies of love.

Lub-dub. Lub-dub.

Whoo! It was getting hot in here! Lollipop fanned herself furiously. But continued.

Once forever apart, now forever together in perfection eternal. Time stopped and for those few precious moments romance ruled the night.

Her eyelids fluttered. It was later than she thought, Lollipop struggled to stay awake.

The Boy Genius made his move. He pulled her close.

Lollipop was mumbling now.

He could smell her skin. Like sunlight. Like laughter. Like everything delightful in the world.

So exhausted. Why was it always at the good parts she got tired?

Closer. Bubble Gum could feel his breath on her cheek. Warm and soft. He pulled her closer still--

Lollipop's eyelids snapped open. Had she dozed off? Keep frosty! She hadn't come this far to give up now!

Bubble Gum closed her eyes. Anticipation. His mouth drew near. Only great expectation and... and... and...

And what? It's not like Lollipop had any experience kissing boys. Argh! She could research that wonderful topic later. For now, just make something up, get something down, anything!

Only great expectation and something else quite lovely I'm sure lay between them and their Perfect First Kiss--

Okay, not her best work, but she'd fix it in the morning. At this moment millions of girls (and a few boys) around the world read with anticipation (or dread). Lollipop knew the next sentence she wrote would be the most important one of her life.

Bubble Gum em;barced--

Too tired. She was just too tired.

asdpfoihj-2w94e--unfortunately, her fingers dragged across the keys--3s5edrytvuhbkj.

Lollipop's eyes closed a final time. She'd have to finish tomorrow.

The console clattered to the floor as she slumped in her bed. She reached a hand down to shut off the deck.

"It's not like I'm going to send it anywhere," she muttered absently before she fell fast asleep.

On the floor, the deck blinked 'send' for a few seconds then the screen flashed and went dark.

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