During the night, I have a memory dream of the party. I remembered getting there with Jason, trying to find Cassandra, and then spilling some drinks on myself. After that, I decided to go to a window to cool off. But there was nothing on the window, and that knowledge jarred me, even in the dream, to the point of the dream descending into madness after that.
For the rest of the night, I drift in and out of sleep, not able to stay asleep or awake. At some point, in that place in between sleep and waking, my mind begins going through all I know, making connections it normally would not have and coming to a conclusion. Talk to Drew.
Finally, at five o'clock, I wake up. The first thing that comes into my mind is the memory-dream I had. As I prepare for school, it stays constantly on my mind, with a particular question coming to mind time and time again. What was so important about the window? What was meant to be there? It seems weird that a lack of something on a window could cause that kind of craziness in a dream memory.
"Ian, is something wrong?" my mom asks, looking worriedly at me.
She had gotten ready for work at the same time I got ready for school, so we are eating breakfast together. At some point, I had begun to stare into space while playing with my spoon.
For a moment, I wonder if I should tell her about it. Then I decide against it. I shake my head, "There's nothing wrong. I'm just trying to revise what I read for my test. I got carried away."
I don't know if she believes me or not, but she does not ask again.
In school, my tests take my mind away from my dreams for some time. They are the last tests I have, and I would not let anything make me fail them, especially when I feel I did okay on my other tests. Crazy dream or not.
Still, the dreams manage to distract me a bit as I write the test, causing me to barely finish the test before the bell rings.
I sigh in relief as I submit my answers. I am finally done with my tests. With my tests no longer dominating my mind, the dream rushes in to fill in the space.
As I leave the classroom, I decide to try something. Since the dream is a sign of my memory returning, why don't I try to remember what happened that night, maybe I can get a clue about what was on the window?
I think back to that night. So, after I saw Cassandra and Brian, I went to the window then a man bursts into the house with a gun. Wait, no, I went to the window and then a man... No, I'm missing something important. I went to the window and then a man...
At that moment, I realize that something is wrong with my memory. Either that or I am just overthinking things. I mean, my only proof that something is wrong is because of a feeling in a dream. Still, the feeling is persistent, and I can't help thinking it's right.
I go to the library. Ava greets me but says nothing else, she seems to be busy. I pick a book that I am sure I am not going to read and head to a cubicle. I prop the book open in front of me and begin to think. Despite having no concrete proof, I am sure that something is wrong with that window, but I can not think of a way to figure out what.
Suddenly, a thought pops into my head: 'Talk to Drew. ' I dismiss the thought almost immediately. How on earth is he supposed to know what was on the window when he was not even at the party. Besides, even people at the party didn't find anything abnormal about the window.
That thought stops me cold. Even people at the party didn't find anything abnormal about the window, only I felt that something was wrong. Doesn't that mean that I was the only one who could see what was on the window sill? I immediately think of the things I had seen since I gained consciousness. The thing in my hospital ward, the one I saw in my house. Could the thing I saw on the window sill be one of those spirit things. But that makes no sense. I feel like the thing I saw was important, but if what I saw was a hallucination, then it can't be that important, right?
Once again the thought comes into my mind, talk to Drew. I try to dismiss the thought but it adamantly refuses to go. In the end, I decided to talk to Drew, just to get the thought out of my mind. Once I make up my mind to talk to Drew, lunch can't come fast enough.
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I waste no time leaving the library once the bell rings. I head straight for the cafeteria.
I look around when I get there, and, not surprisingly, I do not see Drew. I am not worried as I head to my usual table, Drew usually comes for lunch a bit late after all.
I sit at the table and absentmindedly pick at my food. Hopefully, Drew doesn't come too late today. I will talk to him, but I won't tell him everything, else he will probably think I am crazy.
"Hey, Ian!" Jason says, walking over to me.
"Hey."
"I heard you came back to school on Monday. I would have come to see you sooner, but I've been busy."
"Oh," I say as I look around the cafeteria. Still no sign of Drew.
"Well, I just wanted to say I'm glad you're okay." He sounds a bit awkward when he said this. I suddenly realize how I must have been. Only giving him one-word answers, looking everywhere else but him.
I open my mouth to say something to let him know I did not mean to snub him, but he leaves before I can say anything else. I debate whether or not to go after him but decide to stay still. I will make it up to him later.
At that moment I spot Drew coming over. I try to think of a way to start the conversation but I can't seem to find a suitable one. 'I have something to tell you?', no. 'Can you help me with... ' no?
Drew gets to the table."Hey Ian." he says as he sits, letting out a sigh.
"Is anything wrong?" I ask, noting the sigh.
He shakes his head."No. I'm just tired. Thank God tomorrow is Friday."
"I know right," I say, forcing a smile on my face.
We begin to eat in silence. No matter how I think of starting the conversation, I don't approve, but time is going so I just decide to risk it.
"I think I remember what happened the night of Cassandra's party," I say. For some reason, the words don't sound as bad as they did in my head.
Drew perks up immediately."What happened?"
"Well," I begin awkwardly as I try to piece the memory together."I went to the party with Jason, and he got me a drink before he went to his girlfriend, then I started to look for Cassandra so I could wish her a happy birthday, but I didn't see her. Anyway, I began to feel stuffy so I went to a window." At this point, I stop, because what happened next is unclear. As for how I spilled my drink on myself after seeing Brian and Cassandra together, there is no way I will mention that.
I look and Drew and wonder, should I tell him everything I dreamt? After some thought, I decided to tell him everything. I mean there is no disadvantage in telling him. Even if he tells others, they'll just assume it's because of my head injury.
I take in a deep breath."Okay, what I'm about to tell you is going to sound a bit crazy, so...just keep that in mind."
Then I tell him about the rest of the dream. About how I was sure there was something wrong with the window, and my confusion when nothing showed up, and the ensuing craziness.
By the time I am done he has a slightly confused look on his face."What are you thinking?" I ask him.
He shrugs."That last part is a bit crazy. I mean, the guy with the bike, the bull, it's all...crazy."
I let out a small laugh."That's not even the craziest thing that has happened to me lately." The words come out of my mouth without me meaning to say anything.
"So what is the craziest thing?" Drew asks, curious.
My mouth opens and closes. I should not have said that. I did not want anyone to know about the things I have been seeing ever since I woke up in the hospital. For all I know, my mom would begin to worry unnecessarily and god knows what would happen if that happens.
"What is it?" Drew urges.
"Well..." I say, "ever since I gained consciousness, I have been seeing these creatures." Once again the words come out of my mouth without me meaning to. Soon I find myself telling him all about the things. By the time I am done he is deep in thought.
"You know," Drew says, "the dreams are easy to explain, they are just dreams after all, but those things you were seeing...the only explanation I have for them is that you're hallucinating."
"Really?" I ask disbelievingly. Those things seemed and felt a bit too real to be hallucinations, but then, no one else saw them except me so maybe I really was hallucinating.
"Yes really." He nods."Are you on medication?"
"I was. I finished taking the drugs two days ago."
"When was the last time you saw those things?"
"A few days ago."
He nods again as if he had been expecting that answer."Did you check the side effects of the drugs? Maybe one of them has a side effect of hallucinations?"
That makes me pause. I had not checked the side effects of the drugs I was given, I could barely stand looking at them, but I had a feeling that Drew was right. It seems I have been reading too much into the things happening to me recently. The dream was just a crazy dream, and those creatures were a product of drugs and my imagination.
"I think you're right," I say.
He continues."As for why you haven't seen them these past few days, that's probably because you are done taking your medication."
Suddenly an unknown weight in my heart was lifted. I didn't even know what had been happening recently has been weighing me down. But now, I feel so free I think I can fly if I try hard enough.
The bell rings signaling the end of lunch. Normally, I would have grumbled about how short lunch was, but I don't. It had been a good idea to talk to Drew after all.
"Thanks," I say to Drew as I get up.
"No problem." He says with a smile.
I leave the cafeteria and head to the library. I will start classes tomorrow. As for today, I'll take it easy to reward myself for all the reading I had done for my tests.