“Trust. It takes months to build and seconds to demolish, and if we trust the wrong person, it means directly allowing them to shatter our life, and that’s why I determined to never trust anyone and fake it all.”

My name is Ishikawa Haruto, 2nd year studying in Kanata High school, 15 years old going to be 16 on 20 July, 172 cm tall, I have quite good looks, well maintained body with dark brown hair, messy hairstyle and sapphire blue eyes and charming personality and astonishing intelligence these points has helped me quite a lot. I have always been a great actor, not that I want to achieve a career as an actor or anything, I am a great actor because I know the fact since childhood that ‘if you don’t fake it, you’re not going to make it’ in this kind of world. And because of that I have been building my ‘fake’ persona since all along as I can remember.

And now since of all the confidence that had been building up inside me, just as the same way how a criminal slowly becomes fearless after committing each crime, he becomes confident where it leads to ‘arrogance’, and same thing happened with me. I was not just on the boundaries of arrogance and over-confidence I was completely drowned in them.

Monday, April 13, In School

Like always I been chatting with my so-called ‘friends’. It’s zero period and the teacher has not come yet.

“Hey Haruto, we are already in 2nd year of our high school, why don’t you get a girlfriend?”

This is one of my so called friends, Hayato Itsuki, he has slick back hairstyle from my point of view doesn’t have any sort of manners in terms of speaking and he is kind of average when it comes to be liked by classmates, I meant boys since our class’s girls are full blown sarcastic if you ask me.

“Well, I don’t think I would want to be in a relationship yet”

All the girls were of course listening to us and I already know that, so I have to play it smoothly.

“And anyway the girls are all too pretty, I can’t decide whom to choose if I have to. I would be too sad if these pretty faces had to be stuck with me”

I said it in a little higher voice so that all the girls can listen, but if you ask my personal opinion on my female classmates, they are all dumb ugly bitches except one or two.

And sure enough just a simple conversation like that would be enough if played right to give the girls a higher self-esteem and more than over-confidence that I like them.

It’s not like they aren’t intelligent; I can say or accept that there are few exceptions in this class who might even be superior to me in terms of knowledge but I’m brilliant at reading at reading people especially the ones’ who are easily predictable.

And soon enough as I expected the class was filled with conversations of how good I’m and sorts of other rubbish that’s how I spend every morning to slowly increase my popularity in the class, 365 days are more than enough in a year, if you play every single day correctly and make progress every day and so the teacher arrives and we start our class.

After the morning prayer our class starts as usual, our teacher would start with the attendance.

“Class before taking the attendance, I would like to introduce a new student, she will be joining our class from today onwards. Come in dear, that’s your cue~”

He made expression with his hand for whoever has been standing outside to come in.

And there she came long silver hair reaching to waist, blue eyes with a sweet mixture purple blending perfectly in them, pure white skin, slim body yet the body proportions were not any different than any pop idol and about 168 cm tall, truly an impeccable beauty but that wasn’t what attracted me, the important part about her was… she was me.

She had the same aura, the same vibes and the same desire to make others serve you… just like me.

Now when I’m self-analysing myself, I’m kind of like some type of antagonist.

But for a person like me who was always lonely when after being in the crowds, she was the perfect companion. As soon as she entered the class, the whole room was filled with voices telling me she was a ‘faker’ just like me.

She walked in front of the blackboard and the whole time that charming smile on her beautiful face. She turned to face the class and her eyes turned to look at me. She knew just like me, that we are alike.

“Go ahead dear, introduce yourself.”

Teacher said with a welcoming smile to her.

“My name is Itsumi Nayu, I’m 15 and I will turn 16 on 20 September, I like sweet and kind people and I can clearly see that this class is full of sweetness, hope I will get along with you all.”

It was just few small sentences, but clearly that way of talking with such politeness and elegance can sway anyone heart, the class was already under her spell, not to mention I was too, I was already attracted towards her charming, elegant way of speaking and also her looks. Yes, I had fallen for her persona even after knowing she was faking it all.

“Ok everyone now that you have met her, I hope you will get along with her and you will not hesitate to help her. Ok, Itsumi-chan [1] go and take you seat.”

Teacher pointed towards the empty seat in the girls’ row, which to my disappointment the one in the 3 row away from me.

“Oh Shit!”

I spoke in a little louder voice which was heard by Itsuki sitting next to me.

“Oh looks like our Romeo finally found his Juliet. You like her, don’t you?”

All the girls as usual started eavesdropping with full focus to make sure they won’t miss my answer. But I know how to dodge this too.

“Oh no, sorry that you misunderstood, there is nothing like that, I forgot to do the last question of our maths homework, that’s all”

“Man! And here I was being happy that finally I get to keep the other girls to myself”

He stated with the most dim-witted expression I have ever seen.

“Um… sorry about that but maybe you have to wait more.”

“Yeah, looks like it”

He said with a displeased expression, he sure wasn’t happy to be single.

The reason I said that was because I did forget something but it wasn’t my homework, it was because I forgot to check others expression what they were thinking at the time she entered. You could say that I’m quite well versed in terms of human psychology and reading their thoughts, this mind reading isn’t the psychic type, I determine what they are thinking by looking at their body language and by a little of 100% accurate guess of the exact words they might have said at that time.

Stolen story; please report.

And so the day continued, and from time to time I noticed my vision moving towards her unconsciously. Even I became so impulsive that I was almost about to go straight into the girls group to talk to her, but embarrassment knocked in as soon as I came back to senses what I was about to do and I survived.

“Well she sure is taking a heavy toll on my consciousness, I have to do something about this.”

I mumbled to myself.

And whenever I got time to be able to relax I meditated to keep my composure and so that I won’t be get distracted from her presence.

It might look imbecile but it is difficult as hell when you finally find the kind of person you have been looking for, someone almost like you.

Afterwards I headed to the cafeteria in the lunch time, the only time I can be alone and peacefully and without any sort of disturbance can spend my time.

That’s what I really wish but that thing is nearly impossible because this piece of trash Itsuki won’t leave me even for few minutes. He admires me excessively just because I’m able to handle situations quite easily.

The whole day he would follow me and keep on blabbering about girls this, girls that. And now since Itsumi-san is here he even got a new topic.

“Hey Haruto, what do you think about the new girl what she might be like?”

“I don’t know, she might be the sweet and kind type like she said in the morning. Or she might be completely counterpart of it.

Sweet my ass! She is completely like me from my perspective. A wolf in the costume of a sheep.

“Damn! I’m even more curious about her…”

As soon as he stopped speaking he waited for a few moments, and there it was… that sinister smile as if he just got a fabulous idea which I was sure of wasn’t good for me.

“why don’t you go and talk to her, your charm will surely sway her too!”

“No, sorry but I think talking now is a bit too soon since our kind of that type you know ‘misunderstanding-everything’ type. I did rather wait.”

“Oh, come on! I will do something about that, I can ask other girls to make Itsumi-san talk to you!”

He was jumping up and down like a 5-year-old child who just got his Christmas present and can’t hold his joy.

Why does he want her to talk to me that badly? this scum is surely thinking for himself so that he might get a chance with one of the other girls, what a manwh*re!

“How about the plan when I ask one of the girls to make Itsumi-san talk to you, and…”

“And what?”

I can already see where this is going and it’s definitely not good.

And he finally spoke those words with such a joyous smile and arrogance.

“I will tell the girl that you would go on a date with her and she can do whatever she wants with you.”

And… I lost it.

“DATE MY ASS! DO YOU THINK I’M SOME KIND OF TOY WHO YOU CAN HANDOVER TO SOMEONE LIKE THAT EASILY!”

“Sorry, sorry I was just kidding of course I’m your friend I wouldn’t do that to you.”

I really want to believe that but what about THAT-THAT SINISTER SMIRK ON YOUR FACE, IT’S NOT GOING AWAY. AND ITS SHOUTING THAT YOUR SINISTER PLANS ARE NOT JUST A FEW.

But I obviously can tell him that, he will instead of stopping from thinking about he will start telling me all of his plan and make new ones’ at the same time.

Trying to keep my composure, I took a deep breath and swipe the sweat from my forehead.

But still I really am sometimes downright terrified of him sometimes, who knows to what extent his desire to get a girlfriend might take him. These sort of people are force to be reckoned with when it comes to the desires of wanted a girl/boyfriend. He will not see whom he is sacrificing to achieve his dreams.

Soon after the last 4 periods of my school ends, but my day doesn’t end here. I have to go to my part time job because I have to pay all my school fees and personal expenses on my own since I don’t have my parents and my guardian only pays half the amount.

Well but I still love my job, it’s because I work in a manga bookstore, there are different kinds of manga there, from the most trending and popular ones’ to most garbage and outdated ones’ but these help me too.

Since I was a small kid, I have always loved drawing and making illustrations, maybe my love for art is the only thing I didn’t fake one bit. Whenever I draw something good the praises I got from everyone used to overjoy me every single time and so I became serious and now I want to become an illustrator though that’s a long way to go.

But these manga here help me along the path I study their art styles and the anatomy to help me, make my dream become a reality, that sounded like a famous quote but also from a fairy tale.

I change into my working clothes and get set to work. Just as I came from changing room a voice called from nearby.

“Oh there you are Haruto!”

There stood a girl.

She is Ayame Aiya, a beautiful girl with long black hair, perfect feminine appeal, her slim waist enhances her great body figure because of which she looks too hot. She is the same age as me and daughter of this bookstores owner and she is also one of the few people I like to be around because of her sweet yet assertive personality.

“Hi, Ayame-san”

“You again forgot it, I told you to call me Aiya.”

“Oh ok… Then Aiya-san.”

“No just Aiya, you can drop the honorifics. [2]”

“Um… Aiya”

As she heard it, maybe it’s my imagination but I think she blushed for a second there.

“Yes! Can I help you?”

“You were the one who called me out first.”

“Well, it’s not like I have anything to tell you, I just wanted to say hi.”

I just noticed but maybe she has a little hint of red cheeks since I called her by her given name. We have been together since quite a lot of time but maybe this was the first time I called her that.

“So anyway, how’s your dream of becoming a mangaka [3] going?”

“It’s going smoothly, every day after finishing my shift here I rush towards home so that I can practice for few hours before taking a bath, eating and then sleeping. and the other thing I want to become an illustrator, mangaka and illustrator are two different careers.”

Now when I look at it I actually have a little too tight schedule every day. I have to think about make it a little bit loose somehow.

“Well let’s get to work before dad notices us that we are goofing.”

“That would be terrifying.”

She totally ignored me about what I said about mangaka and illustrator.

I took a deep breath before continuing.

This shop is in quite populated area and due to that there are always a few customers at any given time except in the summer.

my shift is of 3 hours and considering how much they pay me for such a short amount of time, I’m truly grateful to Aiya and her family. And I kind of feel guilty that I’m taking too much I work extra 30 minutes without any charges.

Some people might think it might be for the praises that how great I’m but no that not the case, at the very least 80% percent it’s not. There are only few people in this world to whom I have no ill intentions towards, and yeah these are one of the few of them.

And as soon as my shift ended as always I slowly walked towards the nearby corner and after taking the turn as so no one who knows me can see, I immediately dash towards the nearby grocery store to buy something to calm down my stomach which now by this time start growling with monstrosity. Cause except for the lunch break and breakfast I don’t eat anything the whole day.

And now after buying something I peacefully walked towards the nearby park to sit under the cherry blossom tree and enjoy my meal. This is my daily routine, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays are exception, on those two days I have to do 2 more jobs. Only because of that I’m able to pay for all the expenses. It’s not that I’m too poor or anything it’s just so that I can live my life comfortably otherwise I can get by only resorting to one jobs and selling my illustrations.

I finished my meal and started proceeding towards my home now since there weren’t any other jobs after this I can head home to practise illustrations in whatever time I’m left with. And today I already know what I have to draw today.

The new silver haired girl.

“Nayu Itsumi”

I spoke in slightly higher voice to myself, to which I don’t even the reason why I did that.

“Yes, Can I help you?”

The voice called from behind, I turned around half-expecting that it would be someone else, but sure enough it was her.

Her silver hair shining brightly in the moonlight, those blue eyes which can be seen still as clear as day due, that pure white skin as white as snow and now that I’m just 6 feet from she is even more fascinating than what I had imagined her to be.

I want to speak as fast as possible but words aren’t coming out, I’m totally left unspeakable by her beauty, she is like a better version of me, at least 30 times much better.

I gained consciousness and as I was about to speak, she interrupted.

“I’m pleased that I finally met you, you see I know just like you what we both are. And I think that you were also trying to talk to me the whole day, weren’t you?”

She walked a little closer, now we were just 4 feet away from each other

“Yeah, well its hopeless to lie.”

I was blushing as hell as it was too difficult to even look at her at this distance.

“Wait… did you say 'also'?”

Her face suddenly became red as if she had said something she shouldn’t had to.

“Well…umm… You already know what I meant…”

She grabbed the edge of her skirt tightly as a way to hid her embarrassment, her cuteness was making my heart beat faster and on top of it she was blushing which made it even cuter. But I’m also in no place here to tell that either, I’m myself blushing and currently incapable able to keep my composure.

Translations & Notes

1. Honorifics like –san, -chan, -kun etc. are used to show politeness, sweetness etc. to someone in Japanese language.

2. You drop the honorifics with someone you are really close with.

3. Mangaka means the one who make manga.