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Failed Dungeon Inn
Day 0005: Sis-tematic Arrival

Day 0005: Sis-tematic Arrival

"Tell father no." Valkner grumbled, running his spaded tail through his hair and adjusting it. "I have no need for the festival."

"Brother, surely you don't-"

Valkner turned and snarled, sending his younger sister running. For one of the Demon King's children she was always such a scared runt. If it wasn't for his leadership she would certainly be doomed. Val looked back to his mirror, looking at the reflection of the Slime Queen approaching him.

"I love your curves but can't you see I'm busy preparing to depart on a hunting trip?"

She smiled and pushed her gooey form against his back, letting him feel her bulging chest and slipping her hands around to rub his chest. She worked her fingers through his clothes with ease and looked over his shoulder so they were face-to-face within the mirror.

"You should go. Festivals are important even to humans for a reason. Besides... your sister seems excited to participate with you. Why refuse?"

Her hands slid lower and grabbed his belt, gently worming it not off but on. Val was hoping this was her finally making a move but was sorely disappointed. Looking himself over in the mirror, his answer was obvious.

"I've never been good with festivals. I'm a warrior king, not a bard or artist. It's my job to lead the revolution and eventual nation. If I go to parties then what good am I while our enemies continue pressing us? When I get my own dungeon, I'm going to focus on making myself a warrior of legend!"

The Queen laughs and pulls back, leaving him to look in the mirror with a teasing call.

"You mean work on your speech while we do all the hard work?"

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"Today, I want to really get a good luck around the inn!"

Jigalta's smile was the biggest Valkner had seen it but his reply was the same. "No."

The slime pouted and flopped over onto the counter with an intentionally played out groan. She had been asking every hour this morning and was being a major pain in Valkner's ass. For a desk clerk, she was almost too chatty with her boss-master. Tuscetta was watching them from her guard spot beside the door in silence with a professionalism befitting a guard. Val crossed his arms before he leaned up against the counter, gazing out the window.

"If I let you into the rooms you might get ideas that you get one. Tuscetta only gets a bed because she and I aren't slimes like you. We need things like beds to properly rest."

"I mean you're not wrong." Jigalta waited a few seconds before she looked over at him, settling her arms gently beneath her rack and hefting it a bit more. "But if I was that stacked dwarf would you let me have a room?"

"... If you were actually her and not just a clone, maybe."

Tuscetta snorted out a laugh but Jigalta rolled her eyes. It wasn't as if Valkner saw Yvette as a woman befitting him or some sort of soulmate -- she had a mortal coil and marrying someone was something his species could only do once per thousand years. It was the only method he had to passing on immortality easily despite popular demon knowledge. His father had always alluded to there being a way to take many wives or husbands and grant them all immortality but that secret died with the old fart. In his weakened state, Valkner doubted he'd ever have the freedom to take on more than one woman without knowing she'd eventually grow old and die before he even shaved off one year of maturity.

His attention settled on the second cart to pass down the road this morning, watching it slip beyond the exit that led up to the inn and off down the short pass toward town. The upcoming festival known as Darkenth was held every year by the humans in their frontier towns. It was far from his favorite because of the fact it put own plays and celebrated his demise; the people of the frontier used Darkenth almost as a day to mark the turning point in the war against the demons. The only good that came from it was the increased work from travelers, given the spread-out nature of the frontier meant many would leave their lone farmsteads and arrive in the frontier capital for a week. Even if it was a simple town, it ended up looking more like a city with how packed it became during the festival. There was also another added bonus.

Time until Darkenth Festival Bonus

4 days, 13 hours

The bonuses from Festivals were things most people took for granted but not him. Festivals like Darkenth granted bonuses to fledgling adventurers which meant even those from outside the frontier came to start their adventures in the area surrounding his dungeon. Demons were above the surface in weak number so it made a lot of sense even if they didn't come to the dungeon.

But the better benefit was that all commercial skills were boosted during the Festival week. It made prices higher but harder to resist, allowing merchants to swindle the inexperienced adventurers and still make them think they got great deals. It was the perfect time to practice trades or build skills that weren't just for combat. Even for a person who hates festivals -- particularly one about his own demise -- Valkner couldn't help but be hopeful for the days to come. Maybe this would be the year his half-elf pulled out a new outfit and surprised Yvette into seeing him as an attractive stud.

Valkner couldn't even take himself seriously enough to imagine anyone swooning over a lithe and almost effeminate halfbreed.

Pulling free from the window, he reached out and used his new skill of [Mana Manipulation] and [Basic Casting] to pull the blinds down. Parlor tricks and light manipulation of the environment was about all he could do but it was a way to slowly build both skills up.

"I think it may be a good idea for us to head into town; thoughts?" He looked to the pair and waited. Thankfully it didn't take long for Tuscetta to raise her hand.

"Can I stay?"

Val frowned but Jigalta raised her hand and spoke without even waiting. "If Tuscetta stays then does that mean I have to go?"

Neither wanted to go to town and the Demon Prince couldn't blame them since he didn't like the smell of human settlements. Regardless of what they wanted though, they would need to eventually do it. He'd gone a few times but normally spread it out across decades. Wrapping his tail tighter around his waist, he made his way over to the door before speaking to the both of them.

"Neither of you are going to stay. All three of us are going to go with Yvette when she comes back on her return trip. But for today... we have a bigger task of great importance."

Both of the women looked curious and it amused Val tremendously. Neither of them maintained the smile when he lifted a hammer and a wooden bowl of nails. It had been part of his minute purchases -- barely costing anything at all -- but it was something that needed buying every month.

"Today, we're going to be mending the fences for the inn. Everyone will pick up some of the spare lumber I piled up outside this morning and go checking for any loose sections. If any piece looks damaged, remove it from the fence line and replace it."

Jigalta groaned yet Tuscetta's sense of duty made her take on an almost competitive air. For the first time ever, Valkner actually had a chance of getting it done in one day!

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Valkner thunked the wooden hammer with a sense of finality as he secured his fifth post. The sun was nice and high now and both Tuscetta and Jigalta were in sight but spread out across the inn's land. The bustling road's activity had let Jigalta wave and flash a few smiles at some merchants but otherwise they had all been diligently plucking posts out and putting in new ones. Tuscetta had even brought the spade out of storage and dug holes for new posts. The heat had eventually forced her to shed her armor and show off her sweaty muscles but enjoying it was difficult when Jigalta's bustling chest was constantly swinging around.

As if on cue she rested with her breasts on the bar of the fence, peering over at the big sakura trees. Compared to the pair of them, a sunny day was nothing that her body's liquid state wasn't easily resistant to. Fire and heat alike were less effective against slimes thanks to their natural statline. Checking his own stats was possible but without any skills Val knew that the stats themselves would be weak. It actually reminded him that [Identity Check] wasn't showcasing the stats of others either; maybe he needed to level it up more? It worked on the Mystery Bugs but they were a far more simple form demon. Perhaps there was another skill he required?

"Hey! Is this the Dungeoneering Inn for Gaustein's Demise?"

Valkner's ears perked up, looking over his shoulder as a horse-pulled cart rolled to a stop. A blonde-haired knight in a suit of chainmail and leather armor was ahead of it and crossing the grassy field toward him. He was young-faced and pale; he definitely wasn't from the frontier. Valkner brushed his hands of their dirt and stood, looking up at the impressive human.

"It is; my name is Valentine and I'm the owner." He poked a thumb back at Tuscetta as she started digging another pit. Jigalta waved in the even more distant background. "My staff and I were just doing repairs but if you're looking for a place to stay, we've got enough beds for eight if you have folks who are willing to share doubles."

"We have eight and we certainly can bunk up." Without delay the knight looked back and waved the wagon's driver -- a stocky grey-haired old dwarf -- to pull into the inn. Val looked and waved Tuscetta to his tools before following the blonde around the fenceline and back toward the inn. Jigalta sprinted off ahead and put on her best smile, fluffing up her hair and straightening her uniform before rushing inside. Even she knew how good this was for business.

Valkner slowed as the wagon was turned around and gently pulled into the grass between the inn and the dungeon's entrance, the dwarf vanishing inside while others piled out the back. The party of eight was definitely a very classic one if the man was some form of knight or armor class. For the sake of his own sanity, his mind immediately categorized them by age, hair, apparent gender and race. Surprisingly, it was more effective than he thought in breaking down such a large group. It also meant he would have a better shot of picking which ones might be good to [Identity Check].

Blonde-haired male human (???)

Some kind of heavy warrior.

Elderly grey-haired male dwarf (???)

Coach-driver; probably a beast or minor demon handler?

Black-haired elf male twin with blue eyes (???)

Elf with a bow; cliche.

Black-haired elf male twin with green eyes (???)

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

Another elf with a bow; double cliche.

Red-haired female human (???)

Wears a robe so probably a holy girl.

Brown-haired male half-gnome (???)

Short and probably a half-gnome since their feet are big. Most half-gnomes are thieves.

Blonde-haired female human (???)

Scantily-clad and has an almost unnatural body; probably a mage since her breasts don't sag and she has good posture.

Blue-haired female human (???)

Hides beneath a hood and doesn't wear armor; maybe a brawler or something.

A group like this was definitely problematic but not for the "getting exposed and having his livelihood destroyed" aspect. The blue-haired girl and the gnome might have the skills necessary to detect Jigalta or at least get a hint about him but with all of their friends they likely had little necessity to be curious. Even if they revealed Jigalta's race, he also had the servitude leverage that would make her definable as a legally-owned demon. The true pain would be their pairings -- the blonde mage's body definitely drew eyes from her male adventurers save the one in chainmail. Sex between adventurers was real since it was a dangerous profession and drama between adventurers often led to fights. His inn couldn't survive a stray fireball.

"If I might ask, how long are all of you going to be staying?" Valkner looked at the mage as she passed, using his disguise to keep appearing as if he didn't just watch her sultry hips swinging.

"Through the week and festival." The blonde man gently grabbed a hilt of a one-handed warhammer on his hip before gesturing toward the wagon. "Most of the supplies for the stay we brought so we hopefully won't impede on anything during that time. I'm sure we can trade with you in exchange for demon parts. Gaustein's Demise used to field some powerful beasts in the wake of the Demon Prince's defeat, didn't it?"

Val's eyes lit up and he immediately looked at the young human. Someone actually respecting the dungeon was surreal and placated him. All the gold for their stay wasn't even being rung up yet. "O-Oh! Of course, yes! It isn't nearly as grand as it used to be but I'm sure all of you could practice your skills. May I ask your names since we're going to be together for so long?"

"Of course!" He thumbed his finger into his chainvest. "I'm Albricht Ritter and the blonde girl who went inside is my sister Annette."

He swept his hand back, turning and weaving his fingers toward the elderly dwarf. "Our dwarf companion is Bort Rockstory, our lifelong guardian."

The dwarf unloaded a hefty crossbow from the wagon but didn't even acknowledge them with a grunt. It wasn't uncommon -- service dwarfs often weren't in the same vein as those on the frontier like Yvette. Being in the frontier let many dwarves work beneath lords rather than individuals and made them much like the various serfs and land-workers. Bort's discipline was refined and it was quite likely he had been emotionally stunted to prioritize the only emotions humans needed from servants: the desire to protect. Valkner's gaze shifted instead to the twin elves as they approached, each of them bowing.

"I am Darrow." The blue-eyed twin chimed first before pointing their bowed arm's finger at their sibling. "And my sibling is Garrow. He's mute."

"Valentine." Valkner didn't bow and instead set both his hands on his hips. Elves were highly formal but they had benefits -- primarily that even two men like these looked androgynous and gender-blurring. Compared to dwarves, elves were often given full freedom through most human lands because they often were just slightly shorter and had pointed ears. Yet there were also tales of some parts within the frontier of humans with vile practices acquiring biomancy or an alchemist of proficient skill and making them even more effeminate. Many female elves adventuring in the frontier ended their journey kidnapped and on a bandit's bed. Men like these ended up with collars and so girly that it was almost impossible to tell them apart until they were naked.

It was a painful reminder that he chose poorly making himself a half-elf.

Yet his dreadful line of thinking was interrupted as the half-gnome approached and pushed both elves aside. Compared to their clean faces and waifish gaits, the half-gnome seemed like a pint-sized human with bigger ears. They lacked the width of a dwarf but in exchange it made them one of the fastest races. Yet it also meant that they were stuck looking up and actually shorter than Yvette. It made any of them unbearably difficult at finding lovers outside of their species and had kept them at one of the least numerous of the well-known demons.

"My name is Zerth." He raised a hand and waited until the demon took it before giving it the best shake he could. "If either of them get to be a pain, let me know. I'm more or less the one responsible for keeping the twins in their quiver and not getting into trouble."

Valentine raised his brow when the twins groaned but the half-gnome made sure to explain too. "It's a phrase we use because they often try to play pranks. On women. If they harass any of your staff-"

Tuscetta cleared her throat and drew the small group's gaze as she made her way back to the inn at last, crossing her arms and trying her best to look tough. Darrow giggled but Garrow elbowed him, the twins quickly gathering their bags from the wagon and following Bort. Zerth and Albricht stuck around, waiting until the last two of the group came forth carrying bags of their own. The redhead and the blue-haired woman approached; compared to Albricht's sister, both of their chests were small and average. Yet it also conveyed a sense that they carried their weight; the blue haired woman didn't carry weapons but a pair of gauntlets on her hips bore thick knuckles.

"Estel." Blue hair's tongue was heavy with an accent, almost lisping the T. It was quite likely she hailed from the northern frontier, where the snow giants still struggled against encroaching humans.

"And I'm Veronica, a servant of the Flame Eternal!" The redhead's hair sparked with magic and seemed to momentarily catch fire. She clapped her hands together and bowed her head to Valkner. "I hope the great deity grants you prosperity while we're here!"

Valkner had a list of names and a ton of personalities; even if he hadn't spoken to the sister or to Bort, it was undeniable that the group wasn't going to be one that he needed to defeat. They were genuinely good-hearted adventurers. Jigalta wasn't going to be coming off her apple diet quite yet. The Demon Prince actually had a great opportunity to learn many skills and had no intent on turning away someone who actually knew his dungeon. Albricht's smile grew and he extended his hand in anticipation. Val reached out, took it and shook before smirking in both his true state and disguise.

"I hope you enjoy your visit. Attending a festival with your family and friends is a good thing to do. I'll leave it to you to pick rooms but the first two on the right and the first on the left are for myself and the staff. We'll get you all settled and handle the pay."

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The bustle of the inn was a fairly enjoyable for Jigalta, running about and carrying trays of snacks out to the two tables for the party. It made a lot of noise for Valkner since his room was next to the dining area but the benefits had outweighed everything. He was just finishing counting the payment.

Recent Transactions

500 Gold

Initial

+400 Gold

4 drakich

Inn Room Charge: Party of 8

8 x 10 Days

900 Gold

New Total (Current)

Four drakich was something he hadn't seen in years; it had taken all his effort just to get two of them. The coin was a special mint that was quite rare in the Frontier, born from a mix of practices. Humans had supplied gold and the spoils of the war had provided drake scales. Drakich were rare because these coins were minted on scales and wreathed within bands of gold. As far as currency went it was actually a practical coin that was used in some forms of casting. It was part of what gave it so much value and many fledgling summoners sought it out to try and bring forth wyrmlings. Most beasts were easily identified as demons but few knew that the drakes and dragons of legend were actually the oldest members of the lizard and dragonmen demons. It was a big reason why many of them willingly chose to stay out of the way -- only three had aided his father. All three of them had been killed and de-scaled as part of the currency's creation.

At the rate the coins were gaining popularity, Val figured there'd be a new war between humanity and the eldest dragons at some point in the next few centuries. But since humans had no clue about the protected secret, their work to summon wyrmlings would only jumpstart the birth-rates of the two demons. Humanity would drive itself into extinction naturally; why was it so bad that he just wanted demons to be treated fairly and avoid wars like that happening?

Turning one of the coins over on its side, the Demon Prince finally set it down and stood up. Making his way over to the window, he instead watched the travelers still making their way up the road. The others would likely start probing the dungeon and come morning he would have to be smart. Tuscetta and Jigalta alike could learn a lot from the adventurers and maybe even he could gather some skills. He had the prerequisites to dabble into magic and both a caster and priest-type were among them. Checking their identity could wait until he had them alone and there wasn't a risk of being detected.

Starting tomorrow, he would go from trying to bring on hired help to running the inn and trying to grow. If he kept earning gold, things could be fixed up; maybe he could hire on a cook or convince Yvette that she should try dating him since he'd be a successful inn-manager.

"... I... didn't just admit I was an inn manager. I am still the Demon Prince!" Valkner mumbled to himself and looked back to the door. The partying group were growing louder and Jigalta was likely trying to seduce one of the men. It was his job to make sure his guests weren't devoured by his wholesome half-slime and instead gave him a good review.

Valkner Gaustein was battling for the future of this inn's reputation and he couldn't afford to lose!

A quick knock-knock on his window made him freeze. His disguise was up but the fear that someone had heard him sank in. Slowly he rotated, feeling his stomach sink and his world starting to crumble... until the window slid open and he came face-to-face with five feet of purple-skinned demonette, her pair of black wings supporting her nude body. Both of her hands hid her paltry and almost flat chest and the angle kept him from seeing anything more than the curve of her backside and her stomach. Two black ram horns sat on each side of her head and gave her almost a natural bone helmet that meshed with her short fade-cut white hair. Yet there was one thing that gave away her identity: cherry pink eyes.

"... Sister?" Valkner's jaw dropped, watching her right herself and quickly snap to use her [Magic Dress] skill. "What are you doing here? I thought you were dead!"

Valkner didn't need to worry about seeing her naked for very long since a pink, knee-high dress materialized around her curvy figure. It had been a century since heard she died and yet now she was here. She was the fourth child of the late Demon King and yet she had always been the most frivolous. Seeing her here made almost no sense.

Basic [Identity Check] skill used.

Result: Success

Target Skills Interfering, Information Feed Hindered

Target Name: Ezkalda Gaustein

"Using [Identity Check] huh?" Her lips curl into a smirk, letting her black spaded tail slip into view before gently waving a finger to close the window and shut the curtain. "So it's true then? You actually got made weak?"

Ezkalda got closer and their horns thumbed against one another. She was shorter but her horns were curled so thick and tall that she had always made a habit of bumping them against him and their family. Even without access to his born traits, it still comforted him... but not enough to let her get her way. He stepped back and scowled, visually demanding an answer. Ezkalda replaced her smirk with a frown, finally making her way to sit down on the bed.

"Fine... I didn't die. I made a deal with that pretty archer. In exchange for becoming his mistress -- granting him eternal life as a spouse -- they spared me. But we heard the strangest rumor while making our way out of the elvish territory to the Frontier. And to think it was true... you're actually still kicking around!"

The pretty archer was one of the heroes that made Valkner's wound burn. His hand raced up and traced the wound through his disguise.

"You married the half-elf Kaden Shrive? If that's true... then you'd know it wasn't a rumor."

Knocking at the door forces Val to look away, Tuscetta's voice booming through it. "Valentine, is everything okay? I thought I heard someone outside and you closed your curtain!"

Valkner wanted to answer but Ezkalda's tail traced along his bed and she sprawled out over it. If Tuscetta or the others saw her, it would be the end of everything.

So he stayed silent until Tuscetta finally knocked the door open and raced in with the guests and Jigalta staying at the doorway. All of them got a front row view of Valentine the half-elf inn manager sitting in his chair with another half-elf.

"Sorry Tusketta; I guess I didn't hear you while I was talking with my sister." He looked back to the guests and tried to ignore the befuddled look on the greenskin's face. Instead Jigalta rushed forward and played into his hand with her dopish grin asking for them. Now a fair-skinned half-elf with flowing blonde hair and brilliant sky-blue eyes. Unlike him, half-elves were a perfect race for her to use with [Disguise]. The only issue was that everyone recognized her as he had; Valkner nervously presented the smug and pink dress-wearing woman for everyone.

"This is Darmia Shrive, one of the three queens of Kaden Shrive. My... sister. She'll be staying-"

"For a while." Ezkalda giggled, waving her fingers at everyone. "Please, try not to treat me special. It really has been so long since I visited my brother. I would hate to mess anything up."