A figure silently stalked past the entrance of Yanren Hall. The smell of roasted meat and aromatic stew floated around him. Come eat us, the smell said. But the man’s mind was occupied with the desire for clarity. Unheeding of the delicious scents, he quietly made his way past the rooms of his fellow disciples, the brown pillars whooshing past his swift footsteps. He eventually stopped in front of a small palace.

A faint orange light came from within. Yuelong made his way to the doors. The wooden doors were engraved with realistic carvings of phoenixes, both male and female. They circled around each other like the symbols of Taiji. And a door handle, carved like a flower, was engraved in the centre.

From outside the doors, Yuelong could smell the scent of incense and medicinal herbs. He lifted his hand to the door. He hesitated.

Ever since his mother got ill, Yuelong hadn’t wanted to visit her. Not because he hated her, but because he was afraid. Afraid of seeing his mother lying sick on the bed, afraid of one day coming and finding only her dead body. But he was also desperate to be beside her. Desperate to see her recover, desperate to see her smile.

Yuelong sucked in a mouthful of cold air. He knocked gently on the door frame. “Mother? It’s me, Yiheng.”

Yuelong could hear the sound of movement and the shuffling of footsteps. The door gently opened, and a maid came out.

“Xiao-Mei greets Yixiao Zhenjun,” the maid curtsied. “What brings you at this hour to visit Madam Mei?”

Xiao-Mei was Madam Mei’s close attendant and maid. She took care of Madam Mei’s daily needs, including her food and rest, and she also kept her from boredom everyday. She looked very similar to Madam Mei, hence her nickname “Xiao-Mei.”

For once, Yuelong didn’t know what to say. ‘I rejected a marriage and I’ve come to get my mother to comfort me?’ That makes me seem like I’m a five-year-old boy! ‘I almost tried to kill myself because I’m tired of this world controlling me?’ That would break Mother’s heart and make her condition worse! ‘Father’s face was lost in front of the other sects?’ Absolutely not!

“I just need to talk to her,” Yuelong finally said.

Of course, seeing as Yuelong was the only son of Fan Haoren and Madam Mei, Xiao-Mei couldn’t reject him no matter what he ended up saying. She opened the door for Yuelong and led him inside.

The moment Yuelong stepped inside, he felt a rush of warmth fill him from head to toe. It even made him a little sleepy. He looked around the palace. It had been too long since he last visited this place, yet it had stayed almost the same as he remembered it to be. The dim candlelight, the light scent of incense and medicine—it all seemed familiar, yet different.

Xiao-Mei led him behind a large screen that shielded the sleeping quarters from unwanted eyes. The large screen was embroidered by his mother. It showed the gardens of Qianyang during late spring, the lush green trees, the people sitting down talking, instruments playing. It was as if it was just yesterday that his mother finished embroidering it. The colours were unfaded even after all these years.

“Madam Mei, Yixiao Zhenjun is here to see you,” Xiao-Mei said softly to the figure lying in bed.

“Yiheng came to see me?” a bright and gentle voice spoke. “Help me sit up, Xiao-Mei.”

Xiao-Mei grabbed a couple pillows and propped them up against the bed frame. She supported the woman and helped her lean against the pillows.

Yuelong knelt down beside the bed and held his mother’s hands. He looked at the ground and greeted, “Your unfilial son Yiheng is here to see you.”

“What nonsense,” his mother replied. “You’re not unfilial, you’re just so busy all the time. I don’t blame you.”

Yuelong looked up with hesitation, meeting his mother’s round, watery eyes.

The feeling inside Yuelong was an indescribable pain. It wanted to explode with happiness, yet it came with a slight taste of guilt. He felt extremely relieved that he saw his mother again, but also guilty because he hadn’t often visited her after she got sick.

Madam Mei had grey streaks of hair running down her long, thick raven hair. Her once fair white skin now glowed with a slightly greenish-yellow hue. Visible purple shadows circled underneath her tired eyes. The illness had taken a tremendous toll on her.

Upon seeing his mother, he wanted to burst into tears, like a five-year-old who bruised his knee and sought comfort in his mother’s embrace. Although the illness had worn her down, her smile never changed. It was like the light in a cave of darkness, like the summer sun shining upon the Earth, sharing its warmth.

There was once a time when Yuelong was in his father’s class. He failed to recite a cultivation scripture and was punished. But the seven-year-old boy couldn’t stand the punishment and ran to the kitchens where his mother was.

Opening the doors to the kitchen, he saw his mother. Madam Mei had golden pins and multi-coloured jewels that decorated her lush raven hair, her skin flawless like the brightest of moonlight jade. Her gentle smile at seeing little Yiheng in the kitchen instantly melted away the boy’s sorrows. And the poor boy, upon seeing his mother, immediately dashed into his mother’s arms.

“A-Heng, what are you doing here at this time?” asked his mother. “Shouldn’t you be in class with Lanyue?”

“Father is going to punish me because I couldn’t recite the- the- books!”

“The cultivation scriptures?” Madam Mei laughed. “Wait here one second, A-Heng.”

Madam Mei stood up and opened one of the bamboo steamers. A waft of sage-like fragrance floated into the air, and the tiniest hint of roasted peanuts hid within the aroma. With chopsticks, Madam Mei picked up two black dumplings from the steamers and blew on them. The hot steam from the black dumplings waved around frantically against her breath. And when the dumplings were cooled, she handed both of them to Yiheng.

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Seeing the blackness of those dumplings, Yiheng refused to eat. “Mother, are these burnt?”

Madam Mei laughed. “No, silly, these are made from dried mugwort, hence the black colour. It also has peanut filling. Go ahead, try one.”

Without hesitating for another second, he put the whole dumpling into his mouth. The soft and chewy texture of the glutinous rice wrapping sprang under his teeth. The aroma of the roasted peanut filling and dried mugwort exploded on his taste buds. And the sweetness of the filling and the warmth of the dumpling brought comfort not only to his growling stomach but also to his heart.

“It’sh leally goo!” exclaimed Yiheng, with his mouth full.

His mother smiled at the sight.

For just that moment, Yuelong felt as if the world was charged with nothing but warmth and comfort. His fear of punishment instantly dissolved into nothing.

Madam Mei bent down and patted him on the head. “Be brave, A-heng. Don’t let the world beat you down.”

His eyes grew big and moist with motivation. He furiously nodded at his mother’s words. Yuelong gave his mother one last hug before heading back to face the punishment. But this time, he wasn’t afraid anymore. He was going to overcome it.

“Don’t forget to give the other one to Lanyue!” his mother shouted.

Back in the dimly lit room, Madam Mei gently stroked Yuelong’s hand. “I have heard from Xiao-Mei about what happened tonight.”

Yuelong looked up and prepared himself for her scolding. But what he met were his mother’s kind and affectionate eyes, absent of anger.

“My dear boy, you have grown,” his mother said.

“I don’t want to be a part of this marriage, I don’t want father to control what I do, and I really miss…” His voice trailed off.

“Do not be angry at your father, A-Heng,” his mother comforted. “He’s merely trying to give you what he thinks is best for you.”

“But I don’t want any of it!”

Madam Mei shook her head. “I know, dear boy. That’s why I won’t tell you to do what he wants you to do. I’m telling you to walk your own path. We—your father and I—have been in charge of your life for long enough. It’s time for you to make your own choices.”

Yuelong was speechless. Even though he knew his mother wouldn’t force anything on him, he’d never have expected that she’d tell him to walk his own path.

Before, Fan Haoren was the one who was in charge of Yuelong’s education. And being that he was the leader of the Qianyang Sect, no one—including Madam Mei—dared to question his decisions. Every time the little boy came to his mother for help, Madam Mei could only comfort him and tell him to listen to his father. She knew the strict teachings and regulations of the sect, and even then, she bore the pain inside herself, for all these years, out of the fear that something bad might happen to Yuelong if he were to stray from his father’s teachings.

But now, seeing that her boy was struggling with his true emotions, she felt relieved telling Yuelong her true thoughts, even as the feeling of regret also rose from the depths of her conscience. If only she had been brave enough to tell him earlier…

“As for Lanyue…” Madam Mei sighed. “The boy…” A tear formed in her eye.

“I watched him grow up here on Qianyang Summit. He was like the second son I never had, and the younger brother you always needed. I simply can’t believe what happened to him.”

“Mother…”

“I have never told anyone else my suspicions, but I must make them clear to you,” she said. “He grew up under my care, so I know his character. Lanyue simply isn’t the type to hurt someone. He is kind at heart!”

“I know, Mother…but…but…” Yuelong couldn’t find the courage to tell his mother about the state of Lanyue’s corpse at the bottom of the cliff.

“Xiao-Yue was gone for four years, and suddenly, he reappeared as Chixi—” Madam Mei coughed.

Xiao-Mei immediately brought out a handkerchief to cover her mouth. She quickly grabbed a cup of water and brought it up to her lips.

“Thank you, Xiao-Mei,” she said weakly.

“Sorry, Yixiao Zhenjun, but Madam has to rest now.” The maid bowed to Yuelong.

Yuelong slowly got up from the ground, his knees numb from the kneeling. As he turned to leave the room, his mother spoke again.

“Remember, there’s no need for you to follow the path your father laid out for you. Walk your own path.”

Yuelong put his hands forward and bowed. “Yiheng will obey Mother’s orders.”

After stepping out from the warm palace, he felt the cold of the moonlit night again. It shivered down to his core, dragging him away from the comfort his mother offered and towards the depths of his own depression.

“Walk your own path…” Yuelong muttered to himself.

The sound of shuffling footsteps broke his concentration. Yuelong turned and saw the shadows of two figures coming his way. He silently jumped onto the rooftop and crouched down, staying out of sight.

“Yuelong-xiong!”

“Shi-xiong!”

“Where are you!” they said in unison.

“Where do you think he went?”

“I’m not sure… Well, we better find him before the sect leaders flip!”

“Yeah… And what was that about, rejecting the marriage?”

“Not sure, but if I were him, I wouldn’t reject marrying such a beauty.”

“Look at you, ai-yah! You think Lady Murong would be into you?”

“Hmph!”

Listening to their conversation from above, Yuelong felt an urge to knock some sense into these disciples. But keeping in mind that they would uncover his location if he did, he remained silent and waited for them to pass.

“Here, I’ll look this way and you can go that way.”

“Alright, fine. If you find Fan shi-xiong, tell him to go see the sect elders.”

Yuelong still crouched in the darkness, watching the two Qianyang disciples disappear in opposite directions. Then, an idea hit him.

“Walk my own path…”

What better way to escape his father’s control and avoid an arranged marriage than to leave his home? Doing that would also give him the opportunity to look into what happened to Lanyue.

Four years ago, Lanyue was kidnapped while he and Yuelong were on a mission. And for a long time since then, there had been no news of him—until he suddenly returned as Chixi Mojun, leader of the demonic Bi An Sect. Yuelong never had the chance to leave and personally investigate.

Until today.

With the truth of his friend’s death now in sight, he felt the thread of hope reappear in his life, as if a single candle was lit in the dark, lighting his path.

He leaped from rooftop to rooftop, each time landing with only a small sound. Although the pressure on his chest hadn’t fully lifted, he suddenly felt free—free from his father’s control, free from the sect’s strict regulations, and free do what he wanted to do. Like a bird let out from its cage, he flew over the rooftops, soaring towards where he truly belonged.

I’ll journey to human society and forge my own life. Lie low. He thought to himself. That way, it won’t be easy for them to track me down…

He glided down from the last rooftop and landed in the pear gardens from before. He stealthily made his way to the gates of Qianyang Summit, from where he would take the mountainous path down to human society.

Taking one step outside the gates, he felt a pain in his heart, as if a thread linking his heart to his mother’s instantly tightened the moment he stepped beyond the boundary. He turned back to face the direction of his mother’s palace and knelt down, kowtowing his respects.

“Your unfilial son is here, to—”

He stopped. The thread over his heart pulled tighter and tighter.

“—to say goodbye to you.”

Just like that, he severed the thread that bound their hearts. With every step down the mountainous path, his heart bled. But at the same time, the thread of hope slowly revealed itself.

With the sun just about to rise from the edge of the horizon, the weight on Yuelong’s heart finally lifted.

And with one last look at the place he called home, he stepped out into the human world.