“Ned, you’re going to be late for class!” Peter spotted his best friend sitting on the floor of the hallway, madly scribbling away on paper. His clothes looked like he’d slept in them, and his dark hair hadn’t been washed today.

The hallway was beginning to empty as students made a dash to beat the last bell.

“That report is due today. I’ve got to have something to turn in.” Ned scanned what he wrote and gave a nod of satisfaction. Peter helped him up.

“We’ve had all week, what were you doing?” Peter asked as they jogged toward class.

“I was helping a certain friend take down some bad guys.”

The two exchanged grins.

“You really should get your homework done before video games.” Peter admonished.

“Speak for yourself.” Ned jabbed back. They slipped into their seats just as the last bell rang.

* * *

The two lingered outside after school, enjoying the warm day.

“Do you think you’ll be needing the man in the chair today?” Ned asked.

Peter shook his head. “You’ve got other things to worry about, but I’ll call you if anything serious comes up, promise.”

Ned groaned. “I am not looking forward to that presentation. Should I wear my hat?”

Peter was already on his way out. “You should definitely wear the hat!” He said, waving goodbye.

* * *

Peter stopped by Mr. Dell Monty’s food stand. It was a temporary installment, until construction on his store was complete. After getting a sandwich, Peter ducked into an alleyway.

He glanced both ways before tossing down his backpack and shedding his school clothes. He pulled out a red and blue suit and pulled it on like a second skin. Stuffing his other clothes into his backpack he slung it against the wall and secured it with a barrage of webs shooting from the devices on his wrists.

Good afternoon, Peter.

“Hey Karen,” Peter greeted the suit’s built-in AI. “Let’s see who needs saving today!”

He leapt at the wall, nimbly clinging to the brick surface. He backflipped and landed on the adjacent wall, continuing to spring from side to side till he got to the top.

“What are the scanners saying today?”

There was a hold up… the police already arrived at that… a report of domestic violence that’s already been investigated –

“Wait, I see something.”

Down below, Peter spotted a girl chasing down an old woman. The girl caught up to her and tackled the woman to the ground.

Peter leapt off the building, going into freefall and at the last minute shooting out a web. It caught on a light pole, and he pulled up in a smooth arch. He landed on the far building, just above the girl trying to wrench a purse out of the lady’s hands.

Peter shot a barrage of webs at the girl, tying her up. The old woman, now free from her grip, limped away with the purse.

Peter swung down to confront the thief.

“You know, it’s not nice to steal old ladies’ purses.”

The girl stared at him, face livid with disbelief. “You idiot! That was my purse!”

Peter took a step back, hugging his arms. “Oh, I’m so sorry! It’s just, you tackled her, you were tugging – ” He unfolded his arms and tried to sound older. “– She looked pretty innocent to me.”

Just then Peter realized the girl was still tied up. He scrambled to help remove the webs. “My bad.” He apologized.

“Yeah, you assumed.” She spat, “that’s why you should leave things to the law.”

“Listen, I’ll buy you another purse, just tell me how much cash you had in it. I’ll make it up to you, I swear!” Peter thought the girl looked like she might cry.

“My Dad gave me that purse.” She said, then turned and left him in the alley.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

“Sheesh, you’d think I was the one who’d stolen it! Karen, search for heat signatures in the area.” Peter filtered out the general foot traffic and scanned for anything in the direction the lady had disappeared.

Nothing. How could an old lady move so fast?

Peter climbed back to the rooftop and rescanned the whole area; it was as if she’d vanished.

In an intersecting street, Peter caught sight of something. He turned off his heat sensors and swung down to check it out.

It was a small blue purse, with a stitched-on patch that read “Sokovia.” Peter checked the inside; empty.

“At least I can return her purse for her.”

If you knew who she was.

Karen helpfully pointed out. Peter smacked his forehead.

Just then he heard two men talking.

“A new shipment is coming this evening. Want me to alert the customers?”

A deeper voice spoke up, “Yes, but be discreet. The police know about the flowers.”

“Don’t worry, I only do our adverting in person now,” the first voice replied.

Peter listened closer, but the conversation was over. “Karen, did you hear that!?” he whispered, “it sounds like a drug deal!”

You should gather more intel before storming the gates this time.

“Right. Think before I act. Spiderman needs to go undercover!”

Isn’t a mask undercover already?

“No! They’ll see me coming a mile away.” Peter paced the alley. He snapped his fingers. “I know! Tomorrow I’ll show up as one of their customers!”

That doesn’t sound like a very good plan.

“It’ll be fine. You worry too much.” Peter shot out a web and launched into the air.

* * *

“I’m home!” Peter shut the door behind him. The apartment was filled with the warm scents of dinner cooking. Aunt May appeared in the kitchen doorway, apron messy and brandishing a wooden spoon. Her long auburn hair was tied back to keep flour from getting into it. “Peter, thank goodness!” Although she was in her forties, she looked much younger.

“Is something up?” Peter asked, pausing on the way to his bedroom.

“Hm? No, I guess I just worry.”

“Better not, you’ll go getting more grey hairs that way.”

She shook the spoon at him. “Alright, young whippersnapper, you hurry up, dinner will be in ten.” She said, mimicking an old granny voice.

* * *

School the next day crept by at a snail’s pace. Peter gave Ned two thumbs up as Ned finished his presentation, hat and all. He was looking forward to lunch next, when Mr. Jennings spoke.

“I believe we have time for one more today.” Peter stopped gathering his things. When he looked up and saw the student presenting, he froze.

It was the girl from the alleyway.

Peter suddenly wished he had the ability to shrink to the size of an ant. But there was no way she’d recognize him, right? He tried to appear relaxed, knees jittering under the desk.

Then he heard what her research was about and his ears grew red as he listened. She was passionately detailing every reason why superheroes should be outlawed.

When the teacher asked for questions, Peter knew he should keep a low profile, but he raised his hand.

Ned shot him a warning look.

“Um…” Peter swallowed, “if the superheroes get these amazing powers, wouldn’t it be wrong to not use them to help others? I mean, if you won the lottery, the best way to use all that money would be to give it to others.”

Ned and a couple other students murmured their agreement. That made him feel better.

The girl looked as irritated as she had yesterday.

“Your point sounds noble on the surface, but you can’t simplify such an intricate social justice issue like that.” She continued to belittle him for several long minutes more until the bell finally rang.

* * *

Peter couldn’t get out of school fast enough. He’d felt like he was the target of that hero-hater all day long. He questioned if he still wanted to return her purse.

“Come on, you’re better than that, Peter.” He said to himself.

Away from the school now, Peter sprang up a building and searched for the spot he’d been at yesterday.

When he got there, he unslung his backpack and glanced at his suit inside. After a moment’s hesitation, he zipped it, suit still inside, and tossed the bag up high, lashing it to the wall with webs.

From the audio he’d picked up yesterday he’d already triangulated the location of the men. Pulling up his hood and securing his earphones, he jogged further into the alleyway.

* * *

He found the warehouse right where he calculated it would be. But he discovered that several police cars with flashing lights were crammed up the narrow space, and an officer was escorting a cuffed man into a car.

Peter did a sharp U-turn and walked back the way he came, his head down. “What was that!?”

I alerted the authorities of the locations you pinpointed. Karen’s voice came through the Bluetooth headphones.

“I could’ve handled it myself.”

Likely, but I felt your time would be better spent elsewhere.

Out of sight of the bust, Peter climbed up to the roofline. “Next time I make that call, Karen. I’m the superhero here.”

He crawled up the opposite wall and swung down into the first alley. But when he went to retrieve his backpack, alarm shot through him. It wasn’t where he’d left it.

“No, no, no, no! So not good. Tony’s going to kill me!”

* * *

Aunt May glanced up as Peter rushed in. “Okay, now something’s happened.” She stood up, her forehead creasing as she looked him up and down.

“I’m fine. I just need to borrow your phone.”

“What happened to yours?” She asked, handing hers over all the same.

“I, uh, lost it.” Peter glanced up at his aunt. She had her hands on her hips.

“Don’t tell me you lost another backpack.”

Peter nodded and put the phone to his ear.

“What about the suit?”

Peter winced. “Yeah, that too.”

The dial tone filled the stunned silence. “Hello?” Ned’s voice came across the line.

“Ned, it’s Peter. I need the man in the chair. Like, right now.” Peter mouthed a thank you to his aunt and ducked into his room.

“Ready and at your service!”

“I need you to track my suit for me.”

“You lost it, didn’t you?”

“Just tell me you still have the GPS installed.”

“Of course.”

Peter could hear the keyboard clacking.

“Uh-oh.”

“What?” Peter’s grip on the phone tightened.

“Well, you know that smart, anti-hero girl in class today?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Because your suit is at her apartment.”

Peter had trouble taking this in. “Wait, how do you know that it’s hers?”

“Let’s just say, as man in the chair, I’m privileged to special information. The real question is, why is it there?”

Peter looked at the blue purse on his desk.

“Send the address to this phone.”

“Already done.”

“You’re the best Ned.”

“Of course I am.”

Peter hung up and grabbed the purse. He opened his window and climbed out into the evening.