The world expands in each and every direction in a flat, snowy, and bleak nature, the low quiet whistling of the wind on this sub zero wasteland is broken by a rather annoying warbling scream. We look down on this barren plain and find a blue and orange smudge that is running and screaming; as we get closer we find that this smear is a staggering 1 foot 5 inch tall Blue Koba that is wearing a tacky orange winter cloak with a matching tiny hat.
To understand what Blue Kobas are you must understand the broader concept of a Koba. The Kobas are a diverse group of sentient creatures that come in all sorts of shapes and sizes that were created by a dragon (whose name doesn’t really matter right now) whom to be snide gifts to other dragons (who also don’t really matter right now). Each Koba race (with the exception of the black and white Koba who went on to create the glimmering civilization) was given a major flaw to infuriate the dragon they were given to, for example the Brown Koba were given greed and desire to unionize against monopolies, the Red Koba were made war mongering but myopic, and the ever fashionable Yellow Koba are vain and have a fetish for geometric angles. Each of the Dragons pawned their white elephants off to others with the exception of the Blue Koba who now work in a very depressing and large prison that their cold and depressed Dragon, named Kologru, made (he named the prison Kologru as well). The prison is a terrifyingly cold workplace and the sheer amount of paperwork that each individual fills out would drive the Blue Koba insane if it was not for the fact that nearly every Blue Koba is born with 4 arms to lighten the load of paperwork and without emotions, empathy, or sympathy so their minds would not falter.
We come back to this pudgy specimen of a Blue Koba, whom of which is Kurt the 185th of his name, and they have left the Bureaucratic Hellscape of Kologru. They couldn’t stomach their police state of a homeland as they were one of the Blue Koba born with emotion and the desire for emotional intimacy. Unfortunately this little smear was born without a spine and after 19 short years of paperwork with only criminals to give them any form of emotional satisfaction they left Kologru to fulfill their dream of socializing with, and forming basic emotional attachment with others.
Presently it seems as if Kurt is cowardly running from nothing, but if you listen carefully past Kurt’s annoying warbling you can hear the cracking and plinking of the ice behind them. As Kurt runs through the icy snow, their dew claws being the only thing that is keeping them from sliding around on the ice, a loud crack sounds from the ice and a serpentine neck emerges from it. Atop the serpentine neck is a sharp red crescent horn that adorns his furless, pink, monkey-like face, and towards the back of its repugnant face begins a thick gray pelt that protects it from the sub zero temperatures. The creature produces a hate-filled yip that reveals a secondary eel-like mouth in the front of its throat. The creature then jimmies out of the ice hole that it dug and reveals its visage similar to that of a monitor lizard with an extended neck, the creature then begins to hungrily slither after Kurt.
While Kurt fearfully runs for his life that gives us time to explain that it is a bachelor hydra trying to chow down on Kurt right now. You may think of a hydra as multi-headed massive beasts but they do not start like that. Each female hydra starts off with one head then similarly to angler fish the male hydras biologically melt onto the females but unlike the angler fish where the males become tumorlike sperm factories male hydras become useful tools for hunting, general survival, and sperm factories. Due to the sheer diversity within male hydras, females that have a large enough harem more or less become a swiss army knife to any situation with each head having a different solution to each and every problem. Due to the hydras’ unique method of mating they became a symbol of matriarchy and feminism in a multitude of different cultures, a hydra was even the emblem of those dirt thievin mermaids’ royal family before their new king changed it to himself. The hydra that is presently chasing Kurt is a lone male ergo, a bachelor hydra who is most likely trying to kill Kurt so he can present their corpse to a prospective mate.
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Oh! It seems Kurt is finally doing something besides running and screaming. Kurt out of the corner of one of his 4 eyes spots a small crack in the snowy ice and they bolt for it. Kurt dives down the hole in hopes that the bachelor hydra could follow despite the idiot seeing it tunnel through the icy snow. Right on cue the hydra begins to slide through the crack using the heat from the blood-flushed horn atop its head to widen the crack allowing it to slide down it as if it were a water slide. With the hydra barreling after Kurt in this deadly water slide, Kurt deciding to not greet death by looking it in the face, looks forward and finds that this water slide of tunnel ends in sudden drop into an open room with the pleasant sound of trickling water echoing around the open room and pleasantly down the tunnel in such a way that you if you were to hear the trickling sound you would piss yourself if you were healthily hydrated. Kurt after seeing this opening and hearing this piss causing sound has a foolish spark of determination light in a few of their eyes. Kurt then awkwardly launches himself from the edge of tunnel with hydra following shortly after, he seems to have been aiming for the icy wall of the cavern, presumably to quicken his death by splatting his head on the wall so hard that his small hat could be used to contain what remained of his brain matter…
…
They stuck to the wall… Kurt used their dew claws and weird little keratin fingers to latch on to the slippery icy walls and the stupid hydra is slipping down like George fucking Mallory!!!! Now the imbecilic hydra fell into the sub-zero river of water, and as the hydra impacts the crystal clear water, ice begins to grow upon him, even as he futility begins to tread the water the ice continues to grow along him like leprosy literally freezing up his joints and tearing apart his skin and fur as the ice expands due to the cold. Eventually the bachelor hydra loses all ability to tread causing him to sink below the surface.
What just happened may seem like gruffish hogwash but with the exception of Kurt's intelligence I assure you it all made sense. Deep within the glaciers where there is pure H2O the temperature exceeds 32 degrees Freedom units and the ice only remains ice due to the massive pressure, once pressure relieves in this warm spot the ice melts into truly pure water. This pure water flows into the gentle streams under the ice that have been formed over the course of millennia, specifically 9,672 years ago when Kologru the Elder Dragon moved about 5 or so mountain ranges of ice to start building Kologru the prison/bureaucratic police hellscape. The pure water in these gentle rivers fell back below the freezing point but due to the purity of the water and the constant gentle motions of the underground rivers the water fails to realize it should freeze into a solid mass, but if the water is disturbed and/or polluted by say a filthy hydra the water begins to quickly and violently freeze until the freezing stops disturbing the other supercooled water and all the impure water freezes.
The hydra finally resurfaces in the form of a bloody and gory iceberg. In this macabre ice cube a single intact eyeball stares at Kurt through the now swiss cheese like membrane that was once his eyelid. A feeling of loathing and hatred so great that it could melt the ice given enough time radiates toward Kurt from this unblinking eye. The brutal hydra-berg gently floats along the laminar river, no sudden bobbing or loud crashing, just vile detestation radiating from the hydra-berg as it benignly and quietly flows out of sight.
After Kurt stops feeling the hydra's loathing emissions, they finally look around and find the chamber’s icy walls are like that of a sponge with numerous holes dotting the wall that lead to numerous tunnels. Kurt then climbs their way to the nearest tunnel and with a little nervous stutter in his legs they then continue on their futile expedition for a hug.