Novels2Search

22. The Choice

    We jump out of the carriage and stumble inside the cabin.

“Did we make it?” Dad asks Aunty Ocana.

“Barely. Upstairs.” She says. “Percival is doing the best he can, but...”

“I'm sure he is.” Mom says. “I hope you can forgive us for pushing him so much.” She tells Aunty as we rush over to see Uncle Marcus. Burla stands next to the open bedroom door. She sees us and moves out of the way. She's drained too... I nod to her and walk inside. Aunty Laira sits next to the bed, holding Uncle's hand. Ether stands next to her. Uncle Percy is on the other side of the bed, with his hand on Uncle's shoulder, muttering something to himself. We don't have much time... I walk over to Ether and take his hand... He squeezes it, hard. I don't flinch. Mom and Dad stand next to Uncle Percy. Xan and Ro take their places at the end of the bed. Xander's face tells me he can't process this. He grips the wooden panel and freezes...

“Marcus, we're all here now...” Aunty speaks quietly... He opens his eyes. White... He's completely blind... I trace my gaze down his face to his hand... His fingers resemble a skeleton with the skin stretched over...

“Aah, finally, I can say my goodbyes to you all...” His voice is hoarse... “Ether, my son...”

“Yeah, Dad.” Ether takes his Father's hand.

“I'm so proud of you... Thank you, for letting me be your dad...”

“I love you, Dad...”

“I love you too, son... Reina dear...” My body trembles from the sound of my name in his dying tone...

“Yes, Uncle.” I lean down, and take his hand from Ether's fingers.

“Ah, there you are... Good... Please... Take care of Ether for me...”

“Yes, Uncle...” I break silently and step back...

“Cri, you there?”

“Right here, old friend...” Dad takes Uncle's hand. “This is not what you promised me...” He says with a jokingly smile and tears. Uncle tries to smile too...

“I lied... Serves you right...” He says and Dad cries silently with the same pained smile on his face...

“Marcus...” Mom takes over from Dad...

“Breeze... I owe my life... To you and Percival…”

Mom shakes her head. “Don't say it. I didn't do anything to...” She cries quietly too...

“You insult me... Don't deny it... I would have died on that island...” Uncle speaks slowly... Mom lets his hand go and covers up her face...

“Xan, Ro?” Uncle calls out with his weak voice.

“Right here, Uncle.” Ty puts his hand on Uncle's leg. Xan puts his hand down too...

“Good... Thank you, for seeing me off... It means so much to me...”

“Yes, Uncle...” Xan answers in tears... Ro looks away, but he can't hide his pain either...

“Ocana, Burla?” Uncle Marcus calls out again.

“We're here.” She and Burla stand in the doorway.

“Thank you... Please, take care of Percy...”

“Naturally!” Burla answers and the two women weep together...

“Please, look after them for me...” Uncle says to us all... “It's ok now, Percy, thank you. Let go...” Uncle Marcus asks. Uncle Percy stops his mumbling, lowering his arm...

“Laira, I love you.” Uncle Marcus says, with the last of his breath...

“I love you too, Marcus. So much. I love you...” Aunty whispers... A smile freezes on Uncle's face...

“Don't go...” Aunty leans over... “DON'T LEAVE ME!!” She crashes over the dead body of Uncle Marcus.... Xan storms out of the room. Ro follows him. Uncle Percy drops to his knees. Mom crouches down next to him. He looks half dead himself. I hold Ether to my chest... I feel his tears soak through the fabric...

“Don't worry about me...” Uncle Percy whispers, taking a potion.

“We'll take care of him.” Aunty Ocana and Burla help Uncle up and walk him out of the room. A noise outside catches my attention. I look out the window.

“Xan's fighting Ty.” I say to nobody, watching my twin hold our Youngest by the throat. He's not even fighting back...

“I'll go.” Dad leaves. Mom hesitates, but comes over to Aunty Laira... Dad splits my brothers up and gets into a shouting match with Xander... He knows he can't beat Dad... He doesn't even try...

“Idiot...” I mumble...

“I apologize for Xan... He...” Mom can’t even find a decent excuse... Ether turns his head to the side.

“It's fine... I can't even move right now... My feelings and emotions are raging inside of me, but my body refuses to move... The pain is just too much... Having him rampage in my place is somewhat refreshing...” He says with a dead smile... Aunty Laira continues to cry, hunched over Ether's Father...

“We'll get everything ready. Stay with them...” Mom says and leaves the room. Tears don't stop sliding down my face... It hurts soo much... Was there really nothing we could do? Will I have to lose Ether this way too one day? The horror of that shakes me to my core. I rest my head on Ether and hold him tighter... No... No... Please... Neither one of us move... All I hear are the sounds outside, letting us know of the countdown when we need to let Uncle Marcus go... Dad and Uncle Percy walk into the room.

“Laira...” Dad says...

“NO!” She screams out. “NO! You can’t have him!!” She clutches onto his dead body... Ether pulls himself away from me and hugs his Mother.

“Mom...” He speaks softly...

“NO!” Aunty is shattering to pieces right in front of us... “I'll do it...” She manages to lift herself up. “Wait for us.” She tells us. I get up and leave the room together with Dad and Uncle. Ether joins us in the hall a long moment later. Ro and Xan stand on the stairs. Ty looks horrible, Xan even worse... I glance over at Dad and Uncle... Nobody is handling his death any better... Aunty shows herself in the door way.

“He's ready.” She says in a lifeless voice, stepping out of the way. Dad, Uncle, Ro and Xan walk inside the room. Ro and Xan take the wooden door of its hinges and lay it on the floor. Dad and Uncle take the wrapped-up in cloth Uncle Marcus and transfer his body from the bed to the door. The four of them carry him out to the hall. I use the Vines to carefully secure Uncle, encasing him in a box... They slowly carry him down the stairs and to the outside, to the back yard... The three of us follow Uncle out and join up with the women, taking our places next to fire place... Mom hugs me to her. Ether embraces Aunty. Burla and Aunty Ocana huddle up together too... The four men carefully place Uncle down. They back up and Meteor sets the place on fire... He roars to the sky and the rest of the dragons join him. My heart breaks... The rest of our family gathers around me and Mom, with Uncle Percy returning back to his girls... Both, Aunty and Ether, crash to their knees, crying out as their sorrow takes over... Our bodies move by themselves. Everyone kneels next to those two... The fire crackles, turning our precious family member to ashes... I stare at Uncle and his family... Why... Is this our punishment? Is this the price we must pay for being here? Watch our loved ones die out one by one? Can I handle that much suffering? I look back at my own family... I take a long, hard look at our Parents... How many deaths have they witnessed? The fire begins to lessen... It won't be much longer... One by one we line up again. We leave the grieving family to themselves for the rest of the burning... Ether's the first out of the two to snap back to reality. Mom hands me the metal box, wrapped up in a robe that belonged to Uncle Marcus... I take it from her and stand next to Ether. He steps forward and begins his chanting. The Herbs from his palms move down into the hot ashes, surrounding them, a gust of Air picks the ashes up and guides them inside the box in my arms. Dad puts the lid on and seals it. I give the urn back to Ether. He kneels down, next to his Mother. She takes Uncle Marcus for one last embrace and holds him tight... Our procession moves from the fire place to the giant tree with the Noxian flower shrub in a full-out-of-season-bloom. Aunty Laira uses her Vines to gently lower the box into the hole in the ground by the tree roots.

“Rest well, my love... Wait for me...” She whispers, taking a handful of the earth and scattering it on top of the urn. The rest of us do the same... One by one we throw the dirt down into the hole... Sky comes over and nudges some of it with his nose. Storm and Shrimp follow his lead, with Meteor ending the burial... Nobody says anything...

    It's been a few weeks now since we got back from Existara. We find Xander hollowed up in his room. He hasn't been the same since the funeral...

“You ok?” I ask, sitting down on his bed.

“No.”

“Don't you think you’re taking this a bit too hard?” Rei says.

“No.” Xan answers sharp and cold.

Rei takes the empty seat next to his desk. “Xan, we all knew this would happen...”

“Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.” Well, he's not wrong...

“Is there anything we can do to help you?” I ask again.

“No.” He answers me... “I’ve had enough...” He whispers...

“Enough what?” I stare at my brother's back.

“I’ve had enough...”

“Do you want us to leave?” Rei asks too.

“I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!! NEVER DOING ANYTHING!!” Xander sweeps the papers of his desk... His sketches scatter across the floor... I pick one up… The face of young Uncle Marcus smiles at me from the piece of paper… I look at the canvases in the corner from his “painting fever” phase from the time we went to the “RRD ball...” I smile and look back at Uncle… He really nailed it…

“What DO WE know about ANYTHING!! What hardships HAVE WE ENDURED!!” Xan yells at nothing. Reina and I glance at each other...

“Have you forgotten?” Rei speaks calmly. “Mom and Dad always told us how they wish for us to never know the struggles and the suffering they had to go through...”

“Nor do we have to take over the world to make something of ourselves. That’s what we’ve been taught, Xan. That it’s ok to live a boring life…” I add to Rei’s words.

“Yeah and?” Xan scowls. “So it's alright for them to have lost everything dear to them, so that we can live happy and carefree?” I can’t say I disagree… Our happiness is based on their struggles… But that’s exactly why our Parents taught us these thing…

  Life is not supposed to be measured by the amount of struggles one goes through. It’s not supposed to be a competition of who deserves more happiness based on the amount of pain they lived through. It’s ok not to take part in that race for greatness. It’s ok to take it slow and easy if that is what makes you happy. It’s ok to live your lives the way it makes you happy. There is no need to compare yourself to others because everyone is different. There are no two personalities and people completely alike and neither should their lives be. Do what makes you happy even if it is "nothing…" It’s ok to take on challenges if you want to. But they shouldn’t destroy you in the process and you should never kill yourself over them or beat yourself over them in case you fail. It’s ok to push yourself over your limits. But it’s also ok to know those limits and leave them be. Chose a pace that is comfortable for you and you will always live your life in your comfort zone. That’s when life becomes truly great. When you are your own comfort zone, then no matter where you are or what you do, you will always be happy. You’ll be able to overcome the challenges and strive for growth, strive for change. You’ll be able to move forward with your heads held high not because you’ll be doing it the right way or the way everyone does it, but because you’ll be doing it the smart way, that suits you and your life, not someone else’s... Those are the words our Parent’s spoke to us…

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“Xan...” Rei struggles for words...

“You can't tell me it doesn't bother you that we get to enjoy ourselves here while the rest of them...” I’ve never heard bro's voice be so tense and full of suffering...

“What exactly HAVE WE BEEN DOING all our lives!! Huh!!” Xan rampages again. “SQUAT!” He smashes his fists into the wooden table. “44 years and NOTHING TO SHOW FOR!!!” He has a point... “We've been fortunate enough...” He stops…

“44 years… Half the life span of anyone else… Yet by our standards we are still GREEN!!” Rei and I look at each other again. Yeah, she gets where this is coming from too… Bro continues.

“We couldn't do anything when grandparents died...”

“Killing others doesn’t bring anyone back to life… You know that…” Sis tells Xan quietly…

“EVEN IF!... Even if I understand it… I still wish…” Our Eldest struggles for words... I understand his feelings... But...

“That you could have gone over there to kill? Would that have made you feel better about yourself? Do you hate Mom for stopping you then? Is that IT?” Rei’s reaching her limit… Xander finally gazes up at her.

“We saw you and Mom that night.” I speak now. Bro turns to me and stares. “We knew you’d go, but we weren’t sure if we should stop you or come with you, so we waited… When Mom showed herself, we almost jumped out too, but Dad stopped us. We saw everything that happened between you two…” Xan’s expression tells me that he had no clue about this…

“I understood how you felt back then and I understand how you feel now, but this time… There really isn’t anything that we can do to make this better…” I die down again.

“I see… So, you knew…” He says. We don’t answer.

“I don't know about you, but I have been feeling nothing, but useless for years now...”

“Since when?” Rei asks carefully.

“Since we returned from Primerias. That was the last real useful thing we did, for Noxanda’s sake…”

“That was ages ago…” I whisper.

“We have been helping our People out since then too…” Rei adds.

“Even so… I can’t help, but feel like a selfish bastard…” Neither one of us says anything...

“As such. I’ve decided.” Xan says. “I’m going back. I’m fighting the Rebirth.” Reina and I stare at him for a good moment.

“You aren’t serious.” Sis says.

“Dead serious.”

“That's exactly what you'll be if you go!” Sis jumps of her chair and so does Xander. I’ve seen this happen enough times. They take off.

“I can’t exactly sit here and do nothing!”

“It's not our fight!”

“SO THAT MAKES IT ALRIGHT FOR ETHER TO DIE TOMORROW!!!”

“DON’T DRAG HIM INTO THIS!!!”

“THE HELL WITH THAT!! YOU KNOW HE’S GOING! HE CAN DIE OUT THERE! YOU CAN’T TELL ME YOU’RE FINE WITH THAT!!”

“OF COURSE IM NOT!!” Reina roars. Tears shine in her eyes... Xan sees them too.

“That's why I'll go. I can at least make sure he gets out of there in one piece...” He says calmly and gets slapped in the face.

“DON’T YOU DARE USE US AS AN EXCUSE! I REFUSE TO BE THE REASON FOR YOUR DEATH!!”

“THEN WHAT DO YOU WANT!! HUH!!! Mom and Dad told you to go!! Several times!! All this time you could have been with Ether, but you chose to stay!! WHY!” Xan roars too... “ANSWER ME!!”

“BECAUSE I HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES HERE!!” Rei screams again.

“LIKE WHAT!!”

“YOU KNOW WHAT!!” She holds bro's gaze.

“I SAID I WOULD TAKE CARE OF THAT!! BEING HERE, AWAY FROM HIM!! You’re miserable... You’ve been so all our lives…”

“That HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!! IT WAS OUR CHOICE!!”

“WHAT CHOICE!! WHAT KIND OF A LOVE IS THIS!! Long distance relationship my ass!” Xan snarls at sister.

“YOU Mr.-fuck-everything-that-moves DON’T GET TO JUDGE ME!!”

“YEAH WELL TELL ME THEN how thrilling IS IT EXACTLY to be making love to yourself ALL THESE YEARS!! HOW IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP ANY DIFFERENT FROM WHAT ALL OF THE SINGLES DO BY THEMSELVES!! HUH!! Just because you hear his voice inside your head when doing it!! YOU'RE FOOLING YOURSELF IF YOU BELIEVE THAT THAT OUTWEIGHS SKIN TO SKIN CONTACT!!” Rei's Vines shoot out from the table and send Xan flying across the room… He went too far...

“Don’t you DARE!!!” She roars at him.

“ENOUGH! I HATE IT WHEN YOU TWO GET LIKE THAT!!” My patience snaps. Reina's Vines slowly retract... Xander slides down the wall and sits on the floor. Rei breaths heavy...

“Neither one of you are more wrong or more right...” I tell them calmly... “For the record. I never truly understood what was the point of you staying here when you love Ether so much... But I always believed it wasn't exactly my place to tell you what to do either. Although, maybe we should have... Maybe if we pushed you more on this, you could have been happy... Xan's right, Rei, you are miserable here...” I look at my sis. She doesn’t answer me...

“Our Parents never wanted us getting involved in anything Rebirth related. They told us that multiple times. Their past has nothing to do with our future. But they also taught us to decide our lives for ourselves. I agree with Xander that we haven't exactly been doing much here. Noxanda's steadily getting back on its feet... Right now, there's not much we can do here...” I pause for a moment, looking my siblings over.

“We already know that Existara is different from here. I'd be lying if I said that I don’t want to know more about it... There's nothing left for us to learn here. It might not be a bad idea to see more of our world before taking over from our Parents...” None of them say anything, so I continue.

“Nobody will stop us if we decide to leave. There's still some time left till the RRD makes its move on the Rebirth. We have time for each of us to decide whether or not we want to be part of it.” I wait a moment again.

“If Xan wants to do it - I'll support him. I don’t exactly like the idea of leaving it all to Aunty Laira and the rest to deal with it alone either. Even if all our Parents told us that we don’t have to it, both, Ether and Burla, decided to stick with it. I admire that. I’m not exactly keen on dying, but perhaps all of us together have a better chance at it... I do believe, you should spend as much with Ether as you can too, Rei. You'll regret it if you let him go... You know that...” I look at sis. She turns away from me.

“Nice speech, bro.” Xan says calmly now. “Only one thing. I said I will go. You’re not obligated to get involved.”

“Wrong. The last thing I refuse to do is sit safely here, twiddling my thumbs. I'm not saying this out of my inferiority complex because of my lack of Magic. I'm saying this because that is simply not an option for me.” I stare bro down.

“You just want another shot with Ruby.” Rei finally hisses at me.

“Oh well, that I can totally understand.” Xan mocks me too.

“Ha ha, hilarious you two.” I squint at them. We laugh nervously a little...

“So?” Xan says.

“I'll go.” Rei whispers...

“Then it's decided.” I agree.

“They'll be pissed...” Xan whispers...

“They sure will be...”

    Our Trio walks up to us with stone cold expressions, carrying a bag each. Breeze and I quickly look at each other.

“What's all this about?” I ask.

“We have something to tell you.” Tyro says.

“We're listening.” Zarri sets the papers down. I come over closer to her.

“We decided we want to go back to Araneum and help Aunty Laira and the rest with the RRD and the Rebirth.” Xan lays it to us straight. My hand puts itself on Breeze's shoulder. That doesn't stop her... She slowly rises up from her chair. Face bloodless... Her chest takes in a gulp of air. I close my eyes...

“OVER MY DEAD BODY WILL I LET YOU LEAVE HERE!!!” The entire Marble Palace rings from her screams...

“I DON’T CARE IF I HAVE TO TIE YOU THREE UP IN THE DUNGEON!! Her hysteria picks up with each word... She pants... Our Trio continues to stand tall still... Our worst nightmare is coming true... I don’t even try to stop her...

“I'LL DICE YOU THREE UP INTO PIECES IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES TO KEEP YOU HERE!!!” She shrieks the words out and smashes her hands down on the table... She bites her lip, a blood drop appears on the skin. She licks it off and cries without a sound...

“Is what I'd like to say...” Zarri finally looks back at our children. “But there is nothing that I can say or do to change your minds. Is there?” She asks and doesn’t wait for answer. “I can’t force you stay, in exchange for you hating me for it later... But I can’t give you my blessings either because this is not what I wished for you three...” She leans back on me.

“The fact that you three are standing here, right now, ready to leave, tell us that you have resolved yourselves to doing this, regardless of what we say.” I speak to them now. “I feel we have lost the luxury of telling you what to do with your lives long before this moment...”

“We never wished for you to get involved with this, but I’d be lying if I said that it does not surprise us.” Breeze barely holds herself together...

“We can’t say we agree, nor can we be happy about this and we won’t even try to pretend.” I say.

“You are free to do as you please.” Zarri says. “However.”

“You need to understand that if you three do this. Neither we, nor Noxanda will be able to help you should something happen. Nor will you be able to use your standing either.” I take over again.

“We hold no authority outside of Noxanda... If something happens...” Breeze implies in case of incarceration or worse... “You'll be on your own. We won’t be able to protect you...”

“We need to know that you understand that.” I hold her tighter...

“We do.” Tyro steps forward. “We are aware of the risks. We won’t cause you or our People trouble.”

“You taught us everything you know and gave us all of the tools we need to make this work.” Reina steps forward too.

“You raised us well. We ain’t some moronoids.” Xan smiles at us. “We won’t dishonor you or Noxanda. So please. He kneels.” Rei and Ro follow their brother's lead...

“Give us the order.” Xan says. Firm and strong. Breeze trembles in my arms... We step down a step.

“You have, but one order.” I start.

“Survive.” Zarri finishes.

“Yes!” The three of them answer us. I’m nearing my limit too...

“Go and tell the others that too.” Breeze speaks again. Her voice tells me she can’t take this anymore either...

“None of you are allowed to die.” I pass down judgement.

“Roger that.” Our children nod, stand up and walk out... Not even an eyeblink goes by and Glen and the rest pop up.

“Please! Let us go too!” Arra speaks first.

“No.” Glen comes over to us and kneels on the step below. “I'll go. As the one in charge of you I order you all to stay here.” He speaks to his team while looking at us. Breeze shakes her head.

“Must I let another child go...” She whispers, covering her face...

“Milady... I consider myself to have been pretty useless the last time. I don't even know how or why I survived... Please. Let me watch over them for you...” The kid gently grabs Zarri's dress and clenches it. Breeze shakes her head again.

“It pains me to see you go just as much as them.” I tell Glen.

“Thank you.” He says with a sad smile.

“The HEL WITH YOU!” Pyro flares up. “WE’RE GOING TOO!”

“We can’t let them go alone!” Odri and Arra step forward.

“PLEASE!” Erin and Tigglia come closer too.

“We swore to protect them!” Messo is the last person to lose his patience… It kinda makes me happy, seeing them this way… Thank you…

“My Lords, please!” Drew runs in too.

“ENOUGH! I WILL NOT ALLOW ANOTHER SOUL OUT OF THE PALACE GROUNDS!! THE REST OF YOU SELFISH BASTARDS CAN ROT HERE HATING ME TILL THE END OF TIME!! I DON’T CARE!! THERE’S SO MUCH HEARTACHE I CAN HANDLE!!” Breeze shrieks again and crashes to her knees screaming and crying her soul out... My heart weeps together with my body as I hold on to my wife for dear life... Be safe, you stupid kiddos of ours...

    The cries of our Mother echo through the Marble Palace. The sound freezes my blood. My chest aches.

“Does anyone else have the urge to turn back and run into their arms?” I ask my siblings.

“Yes.” Ty answers. His voice hasn't sounded this fragile since we were kids. I take a glance over my shoulder. Both of them look half dead...

“We made our decision, we're gonna have to live with it now.” Rei tells me cold and sharp. I turn around again and exhale painfully.

“Right. We keep walking.”

“No turning back.”

“Only forward.”

  Epilogue

    "Remind me again, whose bright idea was this!" Xan calls out.

"DON'T START!" Rei roars back.

"NOT the best time for jokes RIGHT NOW!" Ether answers too.

I sigh. "LESS CHATTING, MORE FIGHTING!" I yell at them, covering for Burla. Tony kicks the corpse off her axe.

"This how you always are?"

"More or less." I mumble...

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