She’s punctual as ever. How – I will never know. But an hour passed and I see the human sized hawk land on the ledge of the giant window. Something about Breeze always makes me feel as if being under a spell. Even in her animal forms’ she emanated power, beauty and grace. Her Hawk was even more spectacular seeing up close. A white, majestic creature, with the tips of the wings and the tail blackened, as if smudged with the darkness of the night when she flew through it. My heart skips a beat.
“I need to get Meteor first. It’s going to take some time even if we fly.” I speak to her, but she doesn’t answer me. Neither do I hear her voice echo in my mind nor does she shift to speak to me. I sigh. Oh well. So, I speak again.
“He’s on the outskirts of the city.” Nothing. “Fly to the north-west. We’ll meet there as soon as I get Meteor.” Second later I hear the sound of feathers rustling and she’s gone. Breeze.
I walk for half an hour before I reach Meteor’s shelter. For some reason after Starlight died and Breeze left, he refused to stay at the army’s stables. That’s why I had to build him new ones. I could have kept him at the cabin, but. That place brought up memories I didn’t want to deal with. A sudden snap wakes me up. I look to the ground – a broken twig lays under my foot. Great. I hear a low growl. Meteor.
“Hey, pal.” I stand there waiting. “We’re going to pay Sky a visit. Come out.” I spent weeks trying to get him and Sky to stick together. But those two were clearly against it. So, I hid Sky away in the mountains in a nearby land, while Meteor had his corner set up in the woods. He simply preferred his solitude... I guess that happens when one is a fearless and powerful being... The crest of the Royal Army on him, letting any imbecile know not to mess with the dragon was merely a precaution. More so for me than Meteor... Finally, he shows himself. A bit displeased, but I’ll live.
“Maybe I should have said that Breeze will be joining us, perhaps then you would have moved your ass a little bit faster?” I pat his neck and I see his eyes sparkle. Yeah. I know what he’s thinking. I’m thinking the same.
“Storm’s not with her this time.” I have to break his hope right here. Sorry. He growls louder this time. Obviously upset.
“I know, buddy, me too. “ I stroke his neck a bit more and get on. “Come on.” He takes off.
Meteor is a fast one. But he takes his time getting over to the bordering mountains. And I take the time to appreciate the beauty of Araneum. I look down and see the spider-web like array of islands spread out on the calm surface of the lake. From up here it looks as if the Royal City is floating in midair, and the tiny lights that are proof of life down there seem like stars. Beautiful. I look up and see the silhouette of a giant bird like creature. Breeze. Meteor spots her as well and lets out a loud roar. I smile. Better you than me. In the distance I see the bird stretch its wings and a high-pitched shriek reaches my ears from its direction. Breeze is answering Meteor’s roar. I smile again. As soon as we are in range she takes off and sides with my dragon.
“It will take us about two hours to get there.” I speak loudly because the winds are howling hard up here. I know she isn’t going to answer, but that does not mean she doesn’t hear me. Plus. I could always make her listen to all what I want to tell her. It’s not like she can run away from me now. But I have to work my way up to that point. So, I start small.
“Aren’t you going to ask me why Meteor isn’t staying at the army stables?” Nothing. I keep going.
“I don’t really know why, but he stopped playing nice with others. So, I had to take him away. Figured if he spent some time alone, he’d get bored.” I look at her with the corner of my eye. No indication she’s even listening. I know she heard me. I just can't tell if she is actually paying attention. Oh well. Not much I can do here.
“But this clever, little bastard,” I feel my dragon shake under me, that means I’m pushing it; “prefers to spent his time isolated.” I pet his scales where the reins are.
“Remind you of anyone?” I turn to see her this time. But I all see is the bird’s tail as Breeze shoots off into the distance. Meteor catches up with her in a flash.
“I’ll take that as yes.” No reaction what so ever. I sigh. I could and try to play an idiot all the way to Sky’s hideout, but that never was my style. I stay quiet for as long as I can instead.
“Breeze. Listen.” Here goes nothing. “I know nothing I say will ever make up for the fact that I hurt you.” She doesn’t answer, but at least she doesn’t run away. Good enough. I keep talking.
“All I’m saying is if I could take it back I would. I care about you still. I know you do too.”
“That’s where you’re wrong.” Breeze. Her voice. I hear it. She’s using the stone.
“You kept the dagger I made for you, for our engagement. I saw it.”
“As a reminder not to believe in love ever again.” Her voice - ice cold, but I’m still happy hearing it. Wait.
“You never?” I don’t know how to ask...
“What does it matter to you?”
“Sorry. Don’t mean to pry.” Somehow this conversation makes me feel as if sitting on a pile of needles…
“How far to Sky?” She asks.
“A while.”
After that she doesn’t say anything more. I need to think it’s true. If she never mated with anyone else, maybe she cares about me after all? If so, that would mean I have a chance! One chance is all I need. If there is a slight possibility, she would love me again – I will wait. Even if it takes me another half a century. I will wait for her. I won’t give up. Breeze is the love of my life. There’s no way I could have forgotten her and moved on. I waited this long. I can wait a bit more. So, I wait. For her to say something again. She doesn’t. We fly like that for about two hours, maybe a bit longer since neither Meteor nor Breeze seem to be in a hurry. I don’t care either way. I’m happy to see her alive and well again. Meteor knows the way, so I don’t have to do much. Instead, I close my eyes and concentrate on recreating the image of Breeze, as she looked fifty years ago and how she is now. I want to see how much she changed. It wasn’t like me to think about this kind of stuff, but whenever I’m around Breeze, I always act up. She brings out a different side of me. She said it once before too…
“I like it how different you are when we’re alone. You’re more caring, loving, more relaxed. And you always look at me as if seeing me for the first time. I love that.”
Those words are haunting me like a dead memory or an illusion ever since Breeze left the Royal City. I knew they were her words. That she spoke to me, years ago. But after a while I started to doubt myself. Was it ever real? Were we really together? In love and almost to be married? Or was it all a dream? I asked myself those same questions over and over again. If it was all just a dream, then now it felt like a nightmare. The pain I felt after losing Breeze like that was unbearable. But I knew there was nothing I could have done. Maybe if that thing with Viroma had never happened, maybe I could have been able to prevent Starlight’s death. Maybe. If I had known it will take fifty years for me to see her again, I would have gone with her. I only let her leave back then, because never, in all my life, could have I guessed, it would take us fifty years to see each other again. And now that only happened because of the King’s idiotic ambitions. I grip the reins tighter. Damn. It. I want to tell her I love her. I want to hold her in my arms. To feel her skin touch mine. To see her smile. To know her scent once again. To kiss those lips. And yet… Over the years we were apart nothing ever felt the same. The food was tasteless. The booze wasn’t relaxing me anymore. The thrill of the hunt was gone too. But now my body is shaking. I want her so bad. I know it’s impossible and it kills me. I look away. Meteor growls.
“We’re getting close.” I speak to Breeze without even hoping for an answer. Couple more moments and we reach the top of the mountain, where Sky is taking refuge. I get off my dragon and look at Breeze. She shifts.
“Let me go in first. It has been a while since he saw you. I don’t know how he will react.” I can see she wants to say something, but her clenched fists tell me she’s trying her best not to do so.
“Fine.” Breeze barks out one word. I sigh and go into the cave. It’s dark, but I feel him in there. I speak into the darkness.
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“Sky. It’s me. I want to see you. Would you please come out for me?” I stand there waiting. I hear a sound. Something is moving.
“Come on now, don’t be shy.” A low growl reaches my ears. A second later the dragon shows his head. He looks troubled. He doesn’t show any signs of being happy to see me. It’s hard for him. After all this time he’s missing his master still. I reach for him.
“I won’t hurt you. You know that, Sky.” The dragon stops an inch away from my palm and stands there hesitating. I wait. Sky finally lowers his head and touches my palm with the tip of his nose.
“Good boy, come on. There’s someone who wants to see you.” I pet his neck. He shakes his head.
“Don’t be scared. Come on.” I nudge him toward the outside of the cave. It takes us a couple of minutes to walk out of there, but once we do, the first thing Sky does is stretch his wings. Dragons truly are magnificent creatures. I see Breeze take a step forward.
“Sky.” She says his name and the dragon roars, jumping her with his claws out. In a flash - Breeze ends up on the ground with her arms stretched to the sides and Sky’s teeth right next to her head. I need half a second to realize what just happened. I only snap out of it when Meteor tries to ram Sky to get him of Breeze.
“DON’T!” I hear Breeze shout and stop. Only then I feel the hilt of my dagger under my fingertips. I reached for a weapon on sheer reflex as I saw Breeze in danger…
I see Crile and Sky come out of the cave. My heart sinks to my heels. He looks horrible. Something aches inside of me. I can barely breathe. I take a step forward and speak up.
“Sky.” The dragon roars one second and the next I’m on the ground, under Sky’s claws, with my arms to the sides and his teeth just inches away from my face. He’s angry with me. At the same moment I see Meteor take up a charging position to get Sky of me and I yell out.
“DON’T!” The dragon stays put. Crile reaches for his knives, but stops the moment later. Sky’s breathing down on me. I feel his anger. His pain. His heartache. He misses her. After all this time. I feel tears roll down my face, as I lay there helplessly, ready to accept death by a dragon.
“I’m sorry.” The words escape my mouth.
“I’M SORRY!” I’m screaming them now. “I’M SORRY I DIDN’T PROTECT HER!” I feel my voice tremble as I scream. The meaning of the words never felt as clear before, as they do at this moment. Sky was extremely attached to Starlight, even for a dragon... This is the first time in fifty years I feel so ashamed for what happened back then. I always felt guilt, but not shame. I want him to rip me to pieces. I deserve it.
“I’m sorry, Sky, I didn’t protect her and I abandoned you too. I’m so sorry. I understand why you hate me and I won’t even ask you to forgive me.” I cry with my eyes closed. I can’t even bear to look at him. I gasp for air as the pain smothers me. I keep crying. I can’t stop even if I want to. I feel Sky move. I open my eyes. He is looking straight at me and his claws aren’t restraining me anymore. His eyes are full of sorrow. I kneel before him and look away. I wait. I don’t know what I can say or do to make him feel better. So, I just wait. Sky roars and takes flight. I can’t believe it. He took off. I turn and watch the silhouette of the dragon fly away into the mountain skyline and disappear among the clouds. It takes me a moment longer to grasp the fact that there is another, darker figure, with blazing sides, following Sky. Meteor. I see a hand reach for me. I hear Crile’s voice.
“They will come back once Sky decides so. I told you he’s not the same.” I look up at him and stand to my feet. I don’t take his hand.
“So then now what? We wait?” I stare into the distance.
“If you don’t mind. It can take a while.” A shiver goes down my spine. I hug myself. Without the light and warmth of Meteor’s scorching wings, it’s kind of chilly out here in the mountains. I gaze up at the stars. I feel something warm touch my shoulders. Fur? I look to my left. Crile has something like that on him too. I sigh.
“Thanks. You don’t…”
“I do.” He cuts me off. Fine. Whatever. I sit down. This is the first time in years when I feel awkward. I know I don’t want to talk to him, but I have this nagging feeling that I should say something. We sit there looking into the distance for quite some time. I know I’m going to be working with him when the king will announce my return, but this isn’t gonna happen tomorrow. I could just shift and ignore him. So why don’t I? Argh! I sink my nails into the leather on my arm. Finally, I realize how childish this is and ask him.
“Tell me about the Royal Army.” Yes, I admit, it is just as childish to ask something like that, but it is the best I can do right now, without bringing up old memories and feelings. I have to admit to myself. He looked good. I saw him shirtless back at the Palace and as much as I hate to say it – that view still shook me. I felt my body longing for his touch on my skin. I grip my arm tighter. Get yourself together! So, I ask the one other thing I possibly can. About the army. He hesitates to answer me. I know he heard me. I’m not gonna repeat the question. A long moment passes and I hear him say.
“What would you like to know?”
“The training the new recruits go through.”
“It’s the same as it was half a century ago. Barely a couple of things have changed.“ I feel there’s more he wants to add, but something is holding him back.
“Why is that?” I ask again.
“Because nothing changed after you left.” He pauses and looks at me for a second. I look back at him all nonchalant. His eyes. No. Stay focused. I look away first. He speaks again.
“The old geezers in charge didn’t want to accept any kind of change no matter how hard we tried.”
“We?” Who was we? I wonder.
“Me and the survivors of the battle.” Oh. He seems grim. I don’t know if I should stop or keep pushing him to tell me. But I guess he feels my hesitation as he keeps going.
“A lot of the previous generations’ didn’t accept any kind of changes. Especially after you disappeared because they thought it was all the proof they needed to say no. I mean, if the main war hero felt ashamed, to have chosen exile over attention. Well. It didn’t matter if the survivors were trying their best to prove them wrong, by sharing stories, where you demonstrated ingenuity and quick, outside of the box thinking in various situations, that nobody else even stopped to consider. We even volunteered to replace you, not that anyone could though...” Crile stops. I have a funny feeling he’s trying to make me read between the lines. Not even gonna.
“We tried to add even a little bit of you, into the training of the recruits. As those who lived through the battle, had the first-hand experience and could at least teach the newbie’s’ something useful. But the old guys kept saying no. We tried our best for years, but finally we had to face the reality.” He goes quiet.
“Which was?” I feel the curiosity itch.
“You were the one who came up with new, clever ways to fight and how to use the same skills differently. Even the combined knowledge of those, who survived the battle, or knew you, was limited in the possibilities. We needed you. So, eventually we had to admit defeat and give up.” I feel him look at me as he speaks. I feel the hidden meaning behind that sentence. I know what he is trying to say. I let it pass right by me.
“So it’s all my fault?” I look at him displeased instead. Idiot!
“No.” Crile’s voice has a sharp note in it as he says the word. He inhales.
“Breeze…”
“They’re coming back.” I stand up looking toward the skyline.
“How do you know? I can’t see them yet.”
“I hear them.” I step closer to the ledge. Soon enough we see bright waves cutting the darkness of the night’s sky. It’s Meteor’s wings that are shinning in the distance. We wait. I don’t even dare to breathe. Moments later the two dragons land and roar. Meteor comes up straight to me and nuzzles me. It's his way of saying “I’m back, don’t worry.” I smile and pet the scales on his neck.
“Good job bringing him back.” The dragon lets out a low growl and goes over to Crile to do the same. I look at Sky. I wait. He doesn’t seem happy. But he doesn’t seem angry either. That’s good enough. I wait. Slowly he comes up to me. But stands just inches away from me. I reach for him slowly. I turn away. I don’t say anything. I hold my hand up and keep waiting. He looks at me with the corner of his eye. Snarls a little, but turns round and touches my palm. I exhale. Thank you. I slowly move closer to him, sliding my hand from the tip of his nose to his eye, ear and neck. Gently rubbing his scales. He doesn’t resist. I put my other hand on his neck and pet him. Not saying a word still. I feel the tension coming off him. Slowly, he relaxes his muscles under the touch of my hand as I stroke him. Eventually, he turns to face me and I see the pain, and the longing in his eyes. I hold my tears back. What a crybaby I’ve become.
“Sky.” I whisper. “If you’ll let me, I’d like to take you home. Back to Storm, what do you say?” I touch him just below the eye as he closes it and a low, deep growl reaches my ears, so quiet I only feel the vibrations run through his body as I touch him.
“Would you like to see her?” I ask again, my voice a whisper, gently petting his neck. He opens his eyes and I see something different this time. He misses his sister. I smile.
“Will it be ok with you if I take him to the cabin? Laira can take a better look at him and we can treat him. He does look banged up.” I ask Crile for his take on this.
“Only if he wants to.”
“Well, Sky, what will you say?” I look at the dragon again. He stretches out his wings. That’s a universal sign that says “Let’s fly”. I smile softly.
“Come on then, I’ll show you the way.” I want to shift, but then it hits me.
“You two probably should stay close by till we get there. Just so Sky would feel more at ease.” I look at Crile and then shift. I take flight and let out a shriek. The dragons roar and Sky follows me, aligning himself to me. Meteor has to wait for Crile to get on him before he can take off as well. Once we are all in the air, I take charge and shoot off into the direction of the Royal City. Sky follows me and Meteor, with Crile holding the reins, flies next to Sky. Our strange formation makes me feel at ease somehow. It kinda reminds me of the times when the three of us would fly around the country just for fun. I missed those feelings.